Gryffindor Gazette

by tatortot

disclaimer-dont own HP not JKR

a/n- i. am. *so.* sorry for the longo waito. plz forgive me..and... I WANT REVIEWS!!! *sticks thumb in mouth* pweezz....This is just the first half of the issue.

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~*~CHAPTER TWO: Issue One-Part One~*~

Issue One--October 1st

Table Of Contents:

A Note From The Editor

Quidditch

Truth Or Rumor

How To Get Out Of Class With Four Dungbombs

--*--a/n second half (below) will be chappie three.--*--

A Day in the Life of Ron Weasley

Ask Ginny

Hermione's Happy Homework Hotline

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Eidtor's Note

To All Readers:

This is my first try at a newspaper/mini-magazine. If you have any comments, please set them in the "Gazette Comments" box in the Gryffindor Common Room, or the one outside the Great Hall, just in case you're from Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, or Slytherin.

We have many writers for the Gryffindor Gazette, but more would be wonderful. Our next meeting will be Friday, September 20th in an unused classroom on the third floor between the girl's bathroom and History Of Magic, and you can attend and join--if you want.

Not much else to say but: Enjoy the Gryffindor Gazette! --Hermione Granger

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QUIDDITCH!!!

Top Ten Quidditch Teams of September

10- Sweden Swans

9- German Giraffes

8- Latin Links

7- Denmark Dragons

6- Chudley Cannons

5- Iceland Eskimos

4- Turkey Turkeys

3- Hungarian Horntails

2- Poland Parrots

1- Italian Iguanas

!!ii!!ii!!Gryffindor vs. Slytherin--November 13!!ii!!ii!!

^^ Will have full-length commentary in December's issue! ^^

--Lee Jordan

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Truth? Or Rumor?

You-Know-Who back?

~No matter what the Ministor Of Magic tells you, we swear to the Gods that this is the...

TRUTH

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Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger...?

~Although these two Gryffindors seem very close--almost too close, we are sad to say that this is a....

RUMOR

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Is Mara Matte pregnant with Eli Finnigan's baby? Are they enganged?

~Mara is the lead singer in the Muggle Born Witches band, and Eli is the cousin of Seamus Finnigan and the funniest stand-up comedian since 1982. (Get tickets now! Eli will come to London next summer, or catch him on Comedy Crew on the radio, Saturdays at 10:00.) We are proud to announce that both questions are the...

TRUTH

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Is Ginny Weasley's little school-girl crush towards Harry Potter being returned?

~We seem to think that as Ginny pretends to not admire/adore/love Harry, he's trying to figure out what to do with his own feelings. This is definatnely the...

TRUTH (no matter what they think)

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Sorry! That's all we have for now...more next month!!!

--Parvati Patil and Lavender Brown

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HOW TO GET OUT OF CLASS WITH FOUR DUNGBOMBS

by Twin Trouble

What you must do, is a simple step-by-step. We, Fred and George Weasley have used this countless times.

During a long ramble from Professor Binns or a lecture from Professor Snape, get a friend and follow this EXACTLY as told...

1- Cause a simple diversion. Knock over a cauldron in Potions, Transfigure something purposely incorrectly in Transfiguration...anything.

2- Take out dungbombs and hand two to a friend. Levitate one of yours to the ceiling, ("Wingardium Leviosa,") mutter a sticking spell, "Arundo," and levitate the other one to a windowsill or a desk as far away from the door as possible, also 'gluing' it. (THE PROFESSOR WILL ONLY NOT NOTICE IF YOU HAVE A GOOD ENOUGH DIVERSION. OTHERWISE YOU GET OVER A WEEK'S WORTH OF DETENTION!!!!!)

3- Before starting the bombs, jump up and do the Chinese Firedrill. That plus whatever happened earlier will definately allow your friend to put the other dungbombs in other places from where you put yours--but far from the door. Your friend will now start up his, (the directions on the box of dungbombs says to point your wand them and say, "Odor," then the professor will automatically try to put them out. LEAVE IMMEDIATELY!!!!

4- While the professor is distracted, you are now allowed to start your dungbombs, then exiting as quickly as possible. WALA!!!!! the rest of the hour, time to have fun!

--Fred and George Weasley

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a/n--that's all for now!! part 2 of the issue will be uploaded ASAP it's just that you've all been waiting so long and i felt so bad i thought i'd give you what i have done so far. if you haven't noticed, i've been really busy with other fics and i didn't actually think anyone liked this....*shocked* i was wrong! lol. review and chappie 3 will be up sooner!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!