Shadowed Destiny
Chapter 2: Lies and Truths
by Lessa of Ruatha
AN: sorry about the wait. i kind of got a half-a-dozen ideas for a million different fics and i was waaaaaay overwhelmed. and i have been back home for three days now and i love it! alright. just so you know, I'M NOT SUICIDAL NOR HAVE I EVER BEEN! this chapter has cutting and mentions of suicide. and just so everyone knows RAVEN WILL BE GOING TO HOGWARTS AND GET INTO SLYTHERIN b/c the poll went that way. though many fics seem to do that, i let you choose and i'll try to keep it original. that said, read on, oh-great-readers.
star-kitten: yeah, the whole thing started when they were thirteen, k? mamoru and serena were 13-14, and motoki and serena were together while she was 14-15. there was time between. and in the next few chapters, they probably will.
LadyKatherine16: yeah, it's in the MPPW era. thanks for the praise (offers LadyKatherine16 boxes of homemade cookies) and while i don't know about rebirth, each senshi will have major spots in the story.
RTD-Jupiter: read the above note to LadyKatherine16. and thank you for giving me an honest opinion of my story. and despite what you think, it really is advice and has given me a few ideas on what to do with the fic.
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Raven Aurora Thompson stared at herself in the mirror. Her hair was the first thing that caught her attention. It used to shine with the gold of the sun. Now it was pure silver with only a few thick streaks of gold in it. Eyes that had once been the blue of the sky, were now liquid silver with a line of blue at the edges. Skin that used to be tanned was pale, bleached by moonlight instead of darkened by sunlight.
But what drew her attention the most was the thin lines scattered along her upper left arm. Cuts, scars, scabs; they were all the same. All there from the same purpose. In her right hand she held a dagger. An identical one sat on the ledge beneath the mirror. It was no ordinary set of blades. No, they were the Blades of Moonlight, the gift of the Lunarian Royal Family to Motoki on the night they were wed by Lunarian ceremony. Her eyes closed and she took a shuddering breath as she brought the dagger to her skin again, the night fresh in her mind.
Flashback
"Are you ready?" it was her voice. Serena's. She called her Serena because she was Raven. Raven was not Serena. Not anymore. Serena was the innocence she no longer had, the happiness that had left her with all the deaths.
"I love you" a voice that nearly made her weep. A voice full of love and devotion. Motoki's.
"During the ritual you will be unable to speak" a third voice she recognized. An ageless voice, that spoke of wisdom unknown to mortal man. Setsuna's. "Only during your vows may words pass your lips. Understood?" The senshi herself was not dressed like any they had ever seen before. She wore an outfit similar to Rei's miko robes. The top was a dark green, the color of a darkened forest, and the wide pants were pure black, the color of night. Her green hair was woven back into a tight braid, then up onto a coronet on top of her head.
Two nods answered her.
She nodded to them, then she walked away, toward the spot just before the tree line they had chosen for the vows.
Serena took a deep breath, glancing at Motoki. She forced herself not to blush and she slowly divested herself of the rough robe Setsuna had given them. Not speaking to Motoki, as they were not allowed, she walked slowly toward the lake of crystal water. As soon as it touched her feet, she shuddered. She knew it was supposed to be cold. Setsuna had said that pure crystal water -the last remnants of the moon's Lake of Serenity- was as cold as ice. But this was colder. She glanced back at Motoki, and felt a rush of love for him. She managed a small smile before walking into the water, up to her waist. It took all she had not to scream.
Motoki saw it written on her face. As he entered the water, he too was jolted by the coldness of the water. He made his way out to Serena, forcing himself to gaze solely at her face. A foot apart now, they watched each other.
Serena bit her lip, watching Motoki through her lashes. Sighing, she began to softly splash the water over arms, stomach, chest. She rubbed it in, feeling the minerals in the water slowly warm her chilling limbs. Glancing at Motoki, she could see him doing the same thing. Taking a deep breath, she ducked under, letting her hair float around her.
As she came up, she could see Motoki waiting for her. Side by side, shoulders brushing but not quite touching, they made their way out of the water. Laid on the grass were the clothes they would wear for the rest of the ritual. Serena pulled on the long white shirt. It was loose on her slender frame, falling off her shoulder and stopping mid-thigh. Motoki pulled on the loose pants, also a pure white. That done, they made their way to Setsuna.
Without words, the senshi of Time directed them to stand face to face, about three feet apart. Setsuna walked in a slow circle around them, placing small stones of the wet grass. She was chanting something under her breath. As she completed three circles around Motoki and Serena, she turned to where the full moon hung in the sky and bowed. Returning her focus to her hime and her hime's love, Setsuna stood just outside the circle.
Serena looked at every stone closely. Briefed by Setsuna, she knew what each was and what its point in the ceremony was. Pearl. Opal. Gold. Ruby. Quartz. Bloodstone. Diamond. Silver. Tiger's Eye. Copper. Cat's Eye. And beyond that, a ring of clear crystals, all equidistant from each other. Hearing Setsuna clear her throat, she snapped her head around to the Time Guardian.
"This ceremony is of ancient magick, from a time when Earth was nothing but a mere thought in the minds of the Gods" began Setsuna. "In those long ago times, it was used by the Gods to bind them throughout their lives, to make alliances and keep enemies enshrouded. For thousands of years after the Fall, it was used by naught save the Lunarians. The Children of the Moon, original descendants of the Gods." She permitted a small smile to grace her face as she looked at Serena, a small crack in what had given the image of a composed saint. "Do you, Princess Serenity XVII of the Moon, understand what will happen if you complete this ceremony?"
"Yes" replied Serena, a small quaver in her voice.
"Are you aware of what will happen if the Family refuses to accept your choice of husband?" Setsuna's voice was emotionless.
"Yes" Serena forced herself to be clear.
"Do you understand what happens in this ceremony?"
"Yes" Serena's voice was firm, a look of determination gracing her elfin features.
Setsuna inclined her head, surveying the girl. Finally she nodded, once, in obvious acceptance. Then she turned to Motoki. "Do you, Motoki of Earth, understand what is happening here today?" she demanded of him.
Motoki swallowed deeply. "Yes" his voice a bit hoarse.
"Are you aware, that you, Bloodless, are likely to be rejected by the Family, and what will happen if you are?" Setsuna's voice was hard as rock.
Motoki's face was pale, but set. "Yes" he said firmly.
"Do you understand that through this marriage, you will become a Child of the Moon, and the next King?" Setsuna stared at him, eyes narrowed.
"Yes" he ground out, body tensed, waiting for what may come.
Once again, Setsuna studied him, taking in everything. And once again, she inclined her head slightly. "Does any of the Family object to this marriage of Blood to Bloodless?" she asked to thin air.
The ring of crystals flashed, white lights connecting the ring. Slowly, the lines of light formed a dome around Serena and Motoki. Inside it, the two stared at each other, both frightened and unwilling to admit it. Setsuna had said NOTHING about this. Serena gasped as the dome closed over them, a feeling of warmth washing through her. Motoki's eyes shut as he felt the peaceful feeling envelop him too.
Then, just as suddenly as it had appeared, the dome vanished. The light connecting the stones receded as well, though they continued to shine brightly.
"The spirits of the Family raise no objections" Setsuna's voice was awed in spite of herself. Though she hadn't confided her fears to the couple, she knew there was a good possibility that Motoki wouldn't be accepted. After all, he was Bloodless, meaning he had no royal blood in him. "Then so shall the ceremony begin." She shook herself, pulling a silver knife from her sleeve. She offered it first to Serena.
Hand shaking a little, Serena accepted the knife. "As Princess Serenity XVII of the Moon, I offer my lifeforce" she locked eyes with Motoki as she drew the blade against her right palm. She hissed in pain, but made no move to stop the flow of blood.
Setsuna took the knife, wiping it off, before handing it silently to Motoki. "As Motoki of Earth, I offer my lifeforce" he repeated, slicing the knife across his left palm. He winced in pain, but likewise made no move to staunch the blood flow.
Setsuna accepted the knife, tucking it back into her robe. From the other sleeve, she pulled a handful of strings.
Having been told what to do, Serena placed her hand before her, palm facing Motoki. He did the same with his hand, so there was a few inches of air between their bleeding palms.
"Yellow for awareness" incanted Setsuna, tying the string around their pinkies. She continued to tie the four other colored strings to their fingers, and then one string that bound their wrist. "Blue for longevity. Orange for strength. Red for passion. Black for protection. White for peace."
Serena stared at the colored strings that connected her hand and wrist to Motoki's. As she watched, wide-eyed, they sank into skin, leaving colored lines on their fingers. Her hand and Motoki's clasped tightly, the cuts sharing blood. Compelled to do so, she looked up at Motoki, her free hand caressing his cheek. His warm green eyes met hers, as he pulled her up and their lips met in an explosive kiss. A feeling of pure joy sufficed in Serena, and she could feel it echoed in him.
Hearing Setsuna clear her throat brought them back to the present. Both blushed heavily, but Setsuna only chuckled and shook her head, and pointed her head at their hands. They looked, and gasped. The lines were gone, now they each clasped a shining silver ring. With a small giggle, Serena slid she ring she had on Motoki's ring finger. He did the same as she. On each ring was an inscription in the Old Language, which they were unable to read.
A pair of daggers appeared in front of Motoki. The blades were silver, nearly ten inches long. There were etchings on them in the Old Language as well. The hilts were white stone, with a pattern of sapphires and crystal. The tips of the daggers curved slightly, both bearing the mark of the Royal Family. Motoki knew, without being told, just knewthat these were his weapons, gifted to him by the Family.
"And now, by Lunarian ceremony, we welcome Princess Serenity XVII, and her husband, Lord Motoki, to the Realms of Life" whispered Setsuna, finishing the blessing and ceremony.
End Flashback
A stinging pain in her arm brought Raven back to reality. Her eyes widened as she looked down at her arm. It was bleeding crimson blood profusely. She had cut deeper than she intended to. But for a few minutes she simply stared as her blood turned the sink bowl a dark red. She closed her eyes once more. It gave her a feeling of taking her life into her own hands, not leaving it up to the Fates, the Gods, or anyone else. Destiny and duty had ruled her life for as long as she could remember, both in this life and her last one. It was a release of the pain in her world.
Finally, she began to get a little dizzy. She dropped the dagger on the ledge, the loud clatter it made unnoticed to her. She stared at the jagged cut that started below her inner shoulder and followed several smaller scars to wind nearly halfway down her upper arm. With a sigh of almost regret, she pulled a fluffy hand towel from the rack, pressing it tightly to the cut. She sighed again, leaning against the wall, still holding tight. Energy leaving her body, she slumped down the wall, landing slowly on her knees.
About twenty minutes later her eyelids fluttered. Someone was banging on the door. Her eyes widened and she brought her free hand to her mouth when she remembered what happened. A silent scream tore from her lips.
"Raven, you fall in?" It was Lily on the other side.
Raven opened the door a crack and looked out. Lily was there, hand raised to knock again, dressed in her pajamas.
"There you are!" Lily's voice was cheerful. "Mum said bed as soon as your done whatever. I already snagged some cookies from the kitchen." Lily looked closely at her cousin. "Raven? You alright? You look really pale. Getting sick?"
Raven shook her head.
"Alright" Lily looked unconvinced, but left anyway.
Closing the door once more, Raven leaned against the wall again. Mentally she cursed herself over and over. Lily would have gone postal if she'd seen the cut. Lily doesn't understand' she realized. Though she had only known her cousin for two weeks, she had come to care for her greatly, as she had loved Shingo. A sister-sister bond that, it seemed, Lily and Petunia didn't have. She doesn't understand pain, or evil. She's so innocent.' And that thought made Raven feel very old.
She stumbled back to the sink, quickly washing the blood off. She stared at her reflection again. But for some reason, all she saw was a blank mirror. She backed away from it, dropping the towel to the floor. She reasoned with herself, trying to calm her frayed nerves. She was just tired, and dizzy.
And not altogether sane' she thought darkly, a weak chuckle escaping her lips.
She quickly wrapped the daggers in the towel, placing them in the small case Mrs Evans had bought her. It was supposed to be a makeup bag. It wasn't used as one. She critically studied the long cut in her arm. It had begun to scab over, and she knew that it had already started to heal. She winced though. That was a little too close. And it meant she would have to avoid that part of her arm until it was reasonably healed. With one last look at the mirror, she pulled down the sleeve of her loose shirt, and left the bathroom. And that was the last thought she had of the cut for a while.
A week later, Lily wasn't a happy camper. "Stupid Petunia" she grumbled, absently swatting the wall. "Had to make a big deal " her mutterings continued as she did her chores. Currently, the laundry. She emptied the huge bag that contained hers, Petunia's, and Raven's on the table. She began tossing all the light-colored shirts in the washing machine. She frowned when she saw an odd-looking, reddish-brown stain on one of the shirts, a prickling sensation hitting the back of her neck. Not quite sure why it was bothering her so much, she tossed it into the washing machine. The bad feeling returned when she saw half-a-dozen shirts with the same color stains. Finally, a really bad feeling enveloped her when she picked up another shirt.
She looked at it curiously. It was an old shirt of hers, a huge gray and white button-down, that Raven slept in a lot. The sleeves were twisted together and then tucked into the shirt. She sighed, and set to work pulling them out and untwisting them. She raised a hand to her mouth as she saw the large stain on the left sleeve. And she finally realized what it was. Blood.
The shirt fell from her numb fingers to rest on the floor. She stared at it, horrified. Raven did Raven do that? To herself?! Anger began to mix with the shock and horror, giving her a rush of adrenaline she'd never felt before. Deciding it was the time for answers, Lily left the clothes out, chore half-done, as she sprinted up the stairs to her bedroom, which she and Raven shared. When she rethought it later, she would be glad her parents were out shopping and Petunia was at a friend's house. For right now, she could've cared less.
The door was thrown open, and, as she expected, Raven was sitting by the window, her fingers barely touching the glass. A very poetic scene, thought Lily dispassionately. At the loud entrance, Raven's head snapped around, looking oddly at Lily.
Lily marched over to her cousin, face a mask of horror, anger, confusion, and helplessness. A look of puzzlement crossed Raven's features. Lily reached out and with a mighty yank, tore the sleeve from the long-sleeved shirt Raven was wearing.
"Explain" her voice was hard and emotionless.
Raven stared at her, unnerved. Her right hand came up to cover the large cut, which had already completely scabbed over and begun healing. But Lily yanked it down. She sat down on the edge of the bed and pinned Raven with a glare. "Now. Talk."
Raven continued to stare at Lily, but now it was as if she was seeing through her. "Why should I tell you something that no one else on this earth knows?" she asked, quite conversationally, no hoarseness present in her voice, despite that she rarely talked.
Lily blinked, but replied, "Because I care."
"You won't believe me" said Raven simply.
Lily stared at Raven for a minute, before withdrawing her wand from her sleeve. Even this far from Hogwarts, it was on her 24/7. She still half-expected Potter and Black to pop out of no where and hex her. Lily touched her wand to her bed, instantly changing it from blue to green [1]. "I'm not exactly normal myself" she shrugged.
Raven stared at her for a few more minutes, having an internal argument. Finally, she remembered what Setsuna had said. Slowly, she nodded. "Very well" she took a deep breath, and began her tale. From becoming a senshi, to finding the other girls, to the Silver Millennium, to Mamoru, to the Silver Crystal, to all their enemies, to the Outer Senshi, to the shinokage, to Motoki, to their deaths. She kept details short on the murders, giving her only the barest idea of each of their deaths.
The two of them sat in silence for upwards of an hour. Lily occasionally glanced at Raven, opened her mouth to speak then shut it, feeling foolish since she couldn't think of anything to say. And suddenly, she saw Raven in a new light. The quietness wasn't shyness or sadness, it was despair. The mask wasn't to receive pity, it was to hide emotions, to lock them out. And Lily knew that wasn't healthy.
She was about to comment on it when two owls flew in through the window. Both were Hogwarts owls, and left as soon as they dropped the letters. Lily quickly opened the one that had her name on the front and grimaced when she saw all the things she had to buy for her school year. She dumped it on her bed, having joined Raven on the ledge. She picked up the other letter and handed it to Raven. "Seems your Pluto was right" she remarked when she saw the confusion on Raven's face. "A Hogwarts acceptance letter, if I'm not mistaken."
Raven scanned the letter quickly, checking for hidden meanings in the words. There were none. She thought hard for a few moments, before raising her head to meet Lily's eyes. "I'll go" she said slowly. "But it will take time " she trailed off.
Lily nodded, a bright smile on her face. While she still worried about Raven's health, she knew that Headmaster Dumbledore probably could help better than she.
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1 - alright, i know there is the ban on underage wizardry. but if you read the first book carefully, petunia says that lily did magic over the summer. so this is what i decided. because lily is the star pupil of flitwick (charms prof) she's allowed to practice charms at home and there's a barrier around her house that makes it so she can only do it in the house. it will also report to dumbledore what she does so she doesn't decide to hex petunia or something.
R/R PEOPLES!!!!!!!!!
