A/N: I'm SO sorry I haven't updated in almost three weeks! Heehee, stupid as I am it totally slipped my mind that vacation was coming up, then after that I had to leave for camp in a matter of days. Add onto that another attack of writer's block, and the fact that the monitor on the computer got blown to Hi Jesus while I was gone. . . get the idea? I'll quit making excuses so you can get to the next chapter, which unfortunately is un-named at the moment, so any ideas for that would be gladly appreciated.
P.S: DISCLAIMER: I do not own the lyrics to "Changes" by 3 Doors Down. Although I may have both of their cd's which contain the lyrics inside the jacket, that is as close as I'll ever be to owning them.
P.P.S. (or is it P.S.S.???) I just really love that song and had a sudden urge to use it in this chapter, ok? *slaps hand over mouth* Fine, I'll quit jabbering now.
*****************************************************************
Trunks punched the keyboard with a hidden swell of fury that had been triggered by another mood swing.
It's 1:47 am. Why can't I sleep? Why won't I sleep? I haven't gotten more than three hours of sleep a night for the past two months. It's beginning to drive me insane. During the day I get so exhausted I can hardly move, and I get so snappy you might as well label me a crab. Why ME??? Isn't it bad enough I'm already so far from being normal? Now I have to be cursed with sleepless nights?!?!? This is pathetic. I am pathetic. I am worthless. I am that one terd on the sidewalk that a careless dog-owner forgot to clean up. I am the missing person who nobody misses at all. I am nothing.
He leaned into the back of his chair. Yet again, pent up emotions and frustrations needed an outlet. The fact that he was experiencing constant, violent mood swings didn't help. How much longer could he last? If he didn't get a few good nights of sleep he was going to crack. He was already halfway there.
No longer was it just his father's words echoing inside his head, it was his own degrading thoughts and paranoid self and the memories that could not be erased. All of this was bottled deep down inside and coated over with fakeness to muffle the cries. With a yawn, he saved and closed out of his file. Trunks shoved the chair away from the desk and scuttled wearily to his windowsill and sat. The night was clear and cloudless, perfect for stargazing, perhaps even moon-gazing if there was a moon to gaze at.
"Damn Piccolo, why'd he have to blow it up?" He thought to himself. He knew the painstaking answer perfectly well. "Just because we had to be half fucking saiya-jin," He whispered, referring to the tails they all once had as small toddlers. He sat alone, cold, and tired until the sun began to rise into the blackness of night about four hours later. Vegeta would be waking up soon. He had made a smart choice the past two months of to stay in his room until he was sure his father would be in the gravity room. It would be too suspicious and unlike him to wake up at the crack of dawn every day. He turned on the stereo softly. As a new song started into the first chords, he immediately recognized it as a 3 Doors Down song called "Changes".
"I'm not supposed to be scared of anything but I don't know where I am, wish that I could move but I'm exhausted and nobody understands how I feel. I'm tryin' hard to breathe now but there's no air in my lungs. There's no one here to talk to and the pain inside is making me numb. . . Try to hold this under control. They can't help me, cause no one knows-"
He loved the chorus. Slightly, he turned it up.
"Now I'm goin' through changes, changes. God I feel so frustrated lately. When I get suffocated, save me. Now I'm goin' through changes, changes. . .
"Feeling weak and weary walkin' through this world alone. Everything you say, every word of it, cuts me to the bone and I bleed. I've got something to say, but now I've got nowhere to turn. Feels like I've been buried underneath all the weight of the world. . . Try to hold this under control. They can't help me cause no one knows."
The last guitar riff faded and commercials came on. He sighed and switched it back off. He formed a small ball of ki in his palm and played around with it. First, he tried to see how many different ways that he could stretch it. He threw it from one hand to the other for a bit before he got a bit more adventurous and decided to see if he could control its movement. He tossed it away from himself and tried to make it come back. It didn't. Shit! He thought. Just before it exploded against the wall, he blocked it. He decided never to try that in the house again, or it may cost him his head. He could see his mom freak out, and have his forever-happy-go-lucky grandma in the background saying it wasn't that bad, just a giant hole in the wall is all it is. It made him laugh quietly. It was the first time he'd laughed in a while.
* * *
"Do I have to?" Trunks whined to his mom. He did not want to be a part of her annual get together with her buddies.
"Goten'll be coming. I thought you were his friend?" She asked, giving him a strange look. He rolled his eyes. He wanted to be left alone.
"Yeah, but, I dunno. I don't really want to see him," He shrugged.
"Why? You haven't seen him in almost a year. What's wrong with a few hours?"
"Can't I tell him I have a flu or something and I want to be left alone in my room?"
"No. That's final." He turned to leave, but his mother added one more thing. "And for Kami's sake, CLEAN YOUR ROOM!"
"Whatever." He mumbled. Tomorrow at noon. That's when they'd be coming. Why he didn't want to see anyone was a mystery even to himself. He wasn't himself lately, he figured. One of his Dr. Brief's many cats was roaming the hallway. He scooped it up into his arms and scratched it behind its ear. It purred deeply.
"At least somebody's happy around here," He told it. "I don't know what's wrong with me lately. I'm not sure if it's the whole deal of not getting any sleep or the mood swings that makes me feel so helpless, but it has to be something." He put it back down. Its bright green eyes stared up at him. "I guess I better go clean my room. It's bound to take all afternoon anyhow."
He walked away towards his room, hands shoved into his pockets and his head hung.
Vegeta stepped out from the shadows and watched his son trudge down the hallway. He had heard everything. He knew exactly what was wrong with Trunks. He had been through the same thing more times than he'd prefer to remember. If he was anything like his dad, he could overcome it without assistance. Or he hoped so.
* * *
He looked out the window. Yamucha's new car parked itself by their home. The idea of having a flu when Goten came was now basically a reality. His head throbbed. He paced the room and tried to ignore the pain. He decided to grab a sandwich and eat before everyone else showed up. As he rummaged through the kitchen (where was the package of pre-sliced ham???) Yamucha was just getting inside.
"Hey Trunks!" He waved cheerily.
"Mmm-Hmm," he mumbled back, and waved half-heartedly. He found that he was no longer hungry. He needed aspirin now. He found the bottle quite quickly, popped three in his mouth, and leaned against the counter. Three was too much, he knew, but at this magnitude of a headache he didn't care at all. His grandma entered the kitchen.
"The food's almost ready darling. Why don't you come outside?" She said in her cheery too-happy tone. He massaged his temples.
"Because. I. Have. A. Killer. Headache," He spat darkly, "Tell mom that too. I'll be in my room waiting for this aspirin to kick in. Maybe then I'll CONSIDER joining everyone." Obviously, she was not fazed by his tone at all. She just smiled, said okay and left. He swallowed the lump in his throat. What the hell brought on that? He needed to lie down.
Fitfully, he drifted off into a catnap for a short time. When he woke up forty-five minutes later his headache had almost gone, but his head still throbbed painfully. He sat upright on the edge of his bed. Some sleep was better than none, he supposed. Against what the voices in his head were saying, he went to join everyone else. Hopefully nobody would notice anything was wrong with him. Little did he know, someone did.
*****************************************************************
A/N: Whew! Ok! I swear I must have re-written half of that 8 times over!
I hope everyone liked it! Pretty Please review! Please??? What is wrong with Trunks? Do you think you know? I tried to give little clues (actually, very big ones if you can recognize them for what they are) here and there. I tried to use this chapter to basically set the foundation for things on the following chpts. So. . . all you need to do now is go to the bottom left-hand corner of the screen and click on the little button that says 'Submit Review' and that'd just make my day :D All ideas and comments are welcome! Seeya next chapter!
