Well, *hands on hips* we weren't about to wait all day! So, without further ado... CHAPTER TWO!!

ALL NEWSIES: Yahoo!!!

***CHAPTER TWO: CHEX MIX, KARAOKE, AND CROCODILE TEARS***

((*cough* Now WHERE were we??))

SAPPHY: *Tears start to flow* They want to LEAVE us Stagey! *Starts to cry*

STAGEY: Oh, right... *whimpers into a sofa pillow*

RACE: *comforts Sapphy* Aw, don't cry, Sapphy!

SAPPHY: *Scoots away from Race, crying harder* *Hugs Stagey as they cry together*

STAGEY: Waaaah!

SAPPHY: Waaaaahhhhh!!!!!

BLINK: *cries as well for no apparent raeson*

SKITTERY: * Hands each girl the Kleenex box*

SAPPHY: *Motions for Blink to join them in the cry-fest*

STAGEY: Group hug, Blink-man! They... *sniff* don't want us no more... *choke*

JACK: *Looks at Blink disgustedly* Hey, hey, hey... Don't cry...

BLINK: Aw, Dammit!!! *proceeds to cry*

SAPPHY: *Cries on Blinks shoulder*

STAGEY: *pulls away, revealing a nasty, tear-stained face* You don't love us no more!!



DUTCHY: *puzzled, to Specs* Why are they all cryin'?

SPECS: *Shrugs* Ya got me... I's still tryin' tah figure out what a slashy couple is...

((Hee hee... SLASH!!))

STAGEY: *stops crying and snickers at the thought of slash*

SAPPHY: *Snickers with Stage*

BLINK: Youse hate us!

STAGEY: Aw, we love you Blink!

SAPPHY: YEAH! *hugs Blink*

BLINK: Ohhhh, yeah. *dazzling pimp smile*

STAGEY: *wipes tears* Fine... you wanna know what happened?

SAPPHY: *Blows nose in the Kleenex Skittery gave her*

RACE: Ya damn right we wanna know what happened!!

SAPPHY: *Tears* He yelled at us Stagey! *Whimpers*

STAGEY: *comforts Sapphy and glares at Race* You see what you did?

SAPPHY: Waaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!! Boys SUCK! They're so mean! *hugs Stagey*

STAGEY: Men... they got no feelin's.

SAPPHY: No! They don't! They only use us then leave us! *tears*

BLINK: *still crying* I know! Got no respect, or noddin!

STAGEY: *glares at the boys* You have no idea what you do to us girls!

BLINK: Yeah! *Sapphy hands him a tissue, he blows his nose in it*

STAGEY: So, you know what? We ain't gonna tell you what happened! What's more, you ain't goin' back!

((Situations always get better when you have really hot hostages. Sh-yes! *victory dance*))

SAPPHY: *Whimpers* They're not?

STAGEY: You're damn right they ain't!! *squints at Jack possessively*

DAVEY: *sighs, exasperated* Look, we're sorry!!

((*cough*BULL*cough*))

SAPPHY: *Snaps neck to look at Davey* Oh yeah, sure. How many times have I heard that? "Sorry Sapphy, I didn't mean to break up with ya 'cause you wouldn't sleep with me." "Sorry Sapphy, we're just friends." "Sorry Sapphy, I didn't know that was YOUR apple!" *Cries*

((*Boys' eyes bug out*))

STAGEY: Aw, Sapphy! *hugs*

SAPPHY: *Hugs Stagey*

STAGEY: *hands Sapphy the rest of the Kleenex and rubs her back* There, there...



SAPPHY: *Sniffles*

TOBY: *growls at the boys*

SAPPHY: And we got rid of Sarah for them and everythin'!

RACE: Hey, look! We didn't do nothin' wrong! It's all Davey's fault!

STAGEY: *growls* I know.

SAPPHY: *Shoots dagger glares at David* Why are you so uptight? *Sniffles*

STAGEY: *raises eyebrow at Sapphy* Davey cheese, anyone? *whips out grater*

SAPPHY: MUAWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

DAVEY: FINE! I'm sorry... whatever... just don't grate me, please!

SAPPHY: *Stops crying instantly* Wow, that took A LOT of my actin' skills... You're probably the first to hold out that lon'... *Dusts herself off*

((Bwah! Go femininity!! *sings* I enjoy being a girl!!))

STAGEY: *hi-fives Sapphy*

SAPPHY: *High fives Stagey* Boys may suck, but they're soooo easy... *Cackles*

STAGEY: Damn straight!

RACE: *cocks eyebrow* Grating? Mmm, sounds... kinky.

SAPPHY: *Stares blankly at Race* Fine, if you like the idea of a kinky David... Be my guest... You two will make a cute couple... *Turns to Stagey* Never thought of THAT pairin' before...

((*staggers and clutches heart* IT'S THE BIG ONE!))

RACE: *turns white* I take it back! I take it ALL back!!

SAPPHY: *Giggles evilly*

RACE: *locks himself in bathroom* Ooh... you got a corner toilet!

STAGE: *blinks*

DUTCHY: So... what do we do now?

STAGEY: We party, babe!

((*80s techno* Sweet dreams are made of this... who am I to disagree?))

STAGEY: *brings in stereo, DVD player, and karaoke machine, brings out the Chex mix and gets the party started!*

SAPPHY: *Blank stare* Hey Stagey! Whoo! Karaoke! What son's are on it?? CHEX MIX!!!! YAY!

STAGEY: Lots! Which one you want?

SAPPHY: King of New York! *Smiles widely*

STAGEY: WOOOHOOOO!!

NEWSIES: Wha?

((Ah, the things we have to teach you... *smile*))

STAGEY: *cues up KONY and she and Sapphy start to belt the words*

SAPPHY: *Singing* A pair of new shoes with matchin' laces... *Cues Stagey to join her*

STAGEY: A permanent box at Sheepshead Races!

RACE: *wide-eyed*

SAPPHY: A porcelain tub with boilin' water!

STAGEY: A Saturday night with the mayor's daughter! Take it Sapphy!

SAPPHY: Look at me! I'm the King of New York! Suddenly! I'm respectable! Starin' right atcha, lousy with stature! GO STAGEY! *Points at her*

STAGEY: Nobbin' wit all da muckety-mucks! I'm blowin' my dough an' goin' deluxe!

SAPPHY: And there I be! Ain't I pretty?

STAGEY: It's my city...

STAGEY AND SAPPHY: *Together* I'm the King of New York!

SAPPHY: heehee

STAGEY: Yay-hay!

SPOT: *Unplugs the karaoke machine*

RACE: *cocks an eyebrow, is quite impressed with Sapphy*

((Sh-yeah! *high-fives Sapphy*))

JACK: HEY! I LIKE dat song! *Gestures more to Stage than the karaoke*

STAGEY: I wanna do another one!!

SAPPHY: *Hits Spot upside the head* Put it back!

SPOT: Did youse jus' HIT me???

SAPPHY: DUH!

((*grins proudly at Sapphy* That's my girl!))

SPOT: *Pause* Not 'til youse explain a few dings...

STAGEY: *rolls eyes* Okay, WHAT?

SPOT: Wheah are we?

STAGEY: Okay... welcome to 2003, gentlemen!

SAPPHY: Didn't we already go over this??? *Crosses arms*

STAGEY: Well, Sapphy, they're men. You gotta go through things at least six or seven times with them.

SAPPHY: Yeah... Like the toliet seat thin'....

((...and so many others...))

RACE: What the hell?... 2003?!

SNODDY: How did we get heah?

STAGEY: *shrugs* Don't know.... what do you guys remember last?

SAPPHY: *To Race* Yep shorty, you've traveled over a hundred years into the future... Now... *Turns to Spot* Plug it back in! *Becomes intrigued* Yeah... Where were you???

BUMLETS: *gleefully* On a ceiling fan!

SAPPHY: *Is awestruck* I love that part....

((*beams* Don't we all?))

RACE: Sheepshead Races... damn horse!!

SAPPHY: *Giggles at Race*

RACE: *turns red*

JACK: Wid... Um... *Quietly* Sarah....

STAGEY: *snarls angrily*

SAPPHY: *Glares at Jack* And WHAT were you doin'??? Hmmm???

STAGEY: *puts in "I Will Survive" in the karaoke machine and belts*

JACK: I was.... About tah, brake up wid 'er...

STAGEY: *singing* At first I was afraid... I was petrified!! *stops* Pssh. Yeah, right.

SAPPHY: *Gasps* Really?

JACK: Really, really...

((Yay, "Shrek"! Not like I'm comparing Jack Kelly to an ogre. Oh GAWD, no.))

SAPPHY: *Suspicious* Why?

JACK: She wouldn't let me have no fun!

SAPPHY: *Muttering* Big surprise...

STAGEY: *singing* I will survive!! *obliviously continues singing and ends her song with mediocre applause from the others*

NEWSIES: *applauding mediocrely*

SAPPHY: *Glares at the boys before bursting out into a wild applause* ENCORE! ENCORE STAGEY! *Throws manly flowers at her feet*

STAGEY: Woohoo for manly flowers!!

SAPPHY: Aren't they the best?? *Sniffs one before putting it behind her ear*

STAGEY: *smiles*

BUTTERS: *comes inside* Criminy, Stagey! You think you're making enough noise in here? *freezes and commences to stutter upon seeing the newsies*

SAPPHY: *Points at Butters* Who's that, Stagey?

STAGEY: *grumbles* Yeah... everyone, meet my sister Butters.

SAPPHY: Butters??? As in South Park?? *Smiles widely*

BUTTERS: Ha! I am Professor Chaos!

SAPPHY: MUAWAHAHAHA! Professor Chaos!!! I LOVE HIM!

BUTTERS: *reverts to squeaking and faints in Spot's arms*

SPOT: What da...? *sniffs Butters* She smells good.

SAPPHY: Uh-oh Spot.... Looks like you got a girl five years younger than ya infactuated with you... *Nudge nudge*

STAGEY: *rolls her eyes* Hoo boy.

SAPPHY: EWW!!!!!!!! *Hits Spot on the nose* STOP THAT!

SPOT: Ow!!

SAPPHY: *Snarls* You aren't a dog, CONLON! So stop snifflin' her... *Muttering* Cradle robber..

SPOT: *grumbles under his breath* Yeah... *shifts Butters over to the sofa*

STAGEY: *is quite disgusted with all of this*

SAPPHY: *Pats Stagey on the shoulder* It will all be okay... *Smiles*

STAGEY: *tries to avoid the issue* Okay... who wants more Chex Mix?

TOBY: Woof.

SAPPHY: *Hand shoots up in the air* ME!

STAGEY: *hands Sapphy more Chex Mix* Ah, screw it... take the whole bag! *smiles*

SAPPHY: YAY! *Starts munching out*

DAVEY: Maybe you shouldn't eat so much.... I mean, you might get fat...

((*All activity stops*))

SAPPHY: E-Excuse me? *Shocked*

STAGEY: *brandishes grater* WANT A PIECE OF ME, DIRT-BAG?!

SAPPHY: Hey buddy! I have a fast metabolism... I'm gonna milk it for all it's worth! *Throws bits of Chex Mix at Davey*

DAVEY: AHH! It's in my hair!

RACE: Dammit, Davey! What's yer problem!? *shyly turns to Sapphy* Sapphy's gorgeous... *blushes*

((Meep! *pats heart*))

STAGEY: *raises eyebrow*

DAVEY: *Runs around in circles* Getitout! Getitout! Getitout!

SAPPHY: *Oblivious to Racetrack's advances, continues to throw Chex Mix at David*

SPOT: *renders Davey unconscious with his cane*

SAPPHY: YEAH SPOT!

SPOT: Yes... I AM a badass.

BUTTERS: *perks up* Yes, you are!! *goes back to sleep*

SAPPHY: *Puts her hand up for a high-five, but he never returns it* Umm... *Takes Spot's hand, then slaps it*

ALL NEWSIES: Yay!

SAPPHY: WHOO!!!

BLINK: Now it's time tah REALLY get dis party started!

((Aren't you eager to get the party started? Well, stay tuned for the next chappie! Complete with partyin' and Vanilla Pepsi!!))

SNODDY: *incredulous* Vanilla Pepsi? Whazzat?

((*like in "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure* YOU'LL see!!))

SAPPHY: And please, please, PLEASE review!!

RACE: *blushes and looks at Sapphy, then the ground* I still t'ink you'se pretty...

((GAH!!))