Author's Note: I don't own any of the characters in any of these. I forgot to put this in the first one, I think, but it goes for that, too. In fact, it goes for all of the fanpoems I write in this collection. Keep it in mind. I have no money.

"Look here," Ford said
to Arthur Dent
"Your planet's been destroyed
With it goes the radio
TV dinners and the clock
You are the only specimen
Your planet had to give
Now you freefloat
In empty space
On a vogon bypass ship."

Arthur chose that moment
As the very best to faint
It's hard to absorb
(The Earth gone and all)
When all you know
Is all but dust
Nothing balanced anymore
By anything else but space

With a murmur
of "Impossible human"
Ford went about his work
Getting his bearings
Checking supplies
And putting a fish
In his good friend's ear

"What's that?" Arthur yelped
Choosing to awake
Just as the babel
Swam toward his brain
Silly, foolish human
Seeing everything
Understanding nothing
It looked like to Ford
The Guidebook would help
Its friendly block letters
Quietly not panicking

"Take this thing
And read it well
It will explain the babel fish
And all you'll need to know"
Arthur gave a sickly look
Taking the Guide in hand
He knew it was Thursday
Another bad Thursday
And he hadn't even had his tea