A parody of Chaucer's The Canterbury Tales
By Eloy Brightdreamer
A long time ago and in a galaxy
Far away is where my story told shall be.
When Tyranny rears its ugly head of woe
Rebels from all planets and all species go
To fight, and overthrow this Tyranny
Then they can live in peace and harmony.
It came about that in my time of life,
my galaxy was in a time of strife.
But I had no desire to fight this war,
I was a smuggler, nothing more.
HAN SOLO was my name, I wore it proudly.
(Among bounty hunters it was spoken loudly.)
I'd transport goods for nearly anybody,
As long as they paid me enough of their money.
But then one day my life was changed for good
It happened as I thought it never would,
As I was on Tattooine, a planet
Of dunes and wasteland valleys, sand and granite.
While I was in a bar in town Mos Eisely,
(A place not often spoken of very nicely,)
Came in two native men, one young, one old,
They wanted a ship and pilot, I'd been told.
They spoke to me and passaage they booked
On my ship, but let me tell you how they looked.
The old man first, he was a Jedi Knight,
Defender strong of all that's good and right.
He got his power, he said, from the "Force."
He only used the good of it, of course.
His desert robes were brown, both dark and light.
His hair and beard were both snow white.
In his hand, he held a metal handle bright.
Turned on, it was a glowing saber of light.
No other weapons he wore, none were needed.
This was a man that all others heeded.
KENOBI was his last name, BEN his first,
It was a name that could never be cursed.
His young companion was a farmer boy,
But flying spaceships was his greatest joy.
He wore a simple tunic, white and grey.
(He was the kind that many others prey.)
His hair was blonde, just like the color of sand,
And as he entered, he combed it with his hand.
The boots he wore had long since passed their prime.
(On Tatooine, they really lose track of time.)
His name was LUKE, or so it seemed to be,
The only son of SKYWALKER was he.
We left the bar together, all of three
Along with my good friend and copilot, CHEWIE.
He was a Wookie, huge mass of fur and teeth.
(I know he's all soft-hearted underneath.)
His roar can scare all people anywhere,
Seems quite ferocious, he'd like to appear.
Along with us we had two 'droids of steel.
They sat with us at nearly ev'ry meal.
Of those two, one was tall and humanoid.
Quite common, for the THREEPIO type of 'droid.
His plating: gold, and polished to a sheen,
There never was a brighter 'droid to be seen.
The other 'droid was very short and squat.
His squeaky wheels were more often stuck than not.
This little 'droid had lots of pluck and spunk,
Even when he fell and went "Kerplunk."
And ARTOO-DEETO was his humble name,
Annoying others was his claim to fame.
To make this story short for all who read,
I'll tell the only things that you will need
To know. In helping these, the Rebel few,
I helped defeat the darkness more than I knew.
We all defeated the forces of Empire darkness,
And in the process, saved a captive princess.
The Empire's dead, its defense like a sieve,
And happily ever after all good shall live.
A/N: I wrote this way back in high school, for an English class assignment. It was probably the most fun I've ever had with a school paper. ^_^
