Disclaimer: You all know the drill!

A/N: Ok, iv been having a little trouble with punctuation, like doing the "dot dot dot" thing, and Italics and Bold and such like. Could anyone through some light on this for me? Until I figure out how to do that ill be using (pause) so signify "dot dot dot" ok? Other then that I hope you are all enjoying this (if you do be a reading it!) Oh, I also noticed that this has been put on the "G" certificate, I meant it to be "PG-13", no particular reason, just to be safe. Cheers!

Boys being Boys. by Queen.

"You have GOT to be kidding me," cried Harry as he peered through the dusty window at the sequined skirts and feather boas.

"Not at all, I think it's a brilliant idea - damn better then bloody pirates," snorted Draco.

Incredulous Harry looked at him "Hey, dude, at least MY idea didn't involve us dressing up as GIRLS!"

Draco looked back at him a perfect eyebrow quirked.

"What? You don't want to dress up as a girl?

"Well, uh, let me see, NO!" cried a exasperate Harry "what self respecting guy does?"

"What, your telling me there's something wrong with dressing up as a girl or something?" asked Draco coldly.

"Yeah am telling you!" exclaimed Harry.

"Are you yelling at me?" asked draco looking incredulous.

"Dear God, no!" assured Harry backing up instantly his hands raised in the act of submission.

"Good, now c'mon I need to unload"

Harry's jaw dropped. He * What *?!

"You what?" he choked.

"I need to have a release (pause) its been soooo long! I feel all pent up!" groaned Draco raising his arms over his head and stretching luxuriously.

"Wha?" Harry asked, he was NOT saying what Harry thought he was saying was he?!

"I just need to (pause) come!" purred Draco rubbing against a severely startled Harry as he "stretched".

"Hey! Whoa! Lets keep our hands to ourselves shall we? Jumped Harry like a startled earwig.

"Why do that babe, I just want to be a good old fashioned lover boy" smirked Draco leaning into Harry rubbing his slim body against Harry's licking his lower lip.

Oh Blimey O'reillys trousers! He has sex appeal and he knows it! Screamed Harry's mind.

"Gah! No!" yelped Harry as he felt a particular part of Draco's body nudge against his own.

"Am just screwing with man!" laughed Draco suddenly pulling off him and smirking "got ya going though didn't I?"

"Understatement of the century, I was about to start screaming 'rape!' choked a now very edgy Harry.

Draco just grinned and taking Harry's arm, choosing to ignore the jump that he gave when Draco touched him, steered him towards a brightly lit shop at the end of the road.

"Don't pretend you didn't enjoy it, was it as good for you as it was for me?" Draco whispered into Harry's ear then broke away laughing. It was, Harry saw, impossible to tell if he was being genuine or simply taking the piss out of you.

"Now, c'mon, this place wont be open till morning and I want some coffee, that place looked as good as any" he said motioning to the brightly lit place and set off dragging a still somewhat appalled Harry after him.

What have I got myself into? Moaned Harry to himself.

------------------------

"Or did I mother him to much! Maybe it's my fault he's-he's -he's GAY!" wailed Narcissa into a tears stained lace hanky that Voldemort had kindly produced.

Two hours thirty minutes and 15 seconds later she was still going strong.

Lucius sat stiffly on a narrow stool, Voldemort and Narcissa having taken up the red velvet love seat and the lounging couch. This he though, this is just bloody perfect.

"Nar, please, calm down for a minute" he pleaded beseechingly. She looked up at him glowering.

"You, this could be as much your fault as much as mine! You could have funny sperm or something!" she accused.

A second even pleaded Lucius silently in his head.

"Nar, please, now is not that time" he said trying to remain calm cool and collected. The perfect image of an Evil Dark Wizard. Unfortunally at that point Narcissa choose that time to point an indignant finger at poor Lucius and shout, " I should have known that rash wasn't normal! No wonder you couldn't get it up!"

Oh sweet mother of good sweet baby Jesus groaned Lucius in despair.

"You, I bet he got it off you in fact!" she wailed throwing herself dramatically onto the love seat crying bitterly.

"Narcissa, I am not gay," said Lucius firmly with whatever dignity he had left. Which it has to be said, wasn't a lot.

"So what was that with that Zabini man?" she wailed, he voice muffled by that cushions "you made our son gay Lucius!"

"Narcissa please!" he cried, then quietly, "The Dark Lord".

"Oh no Lucius, am enjoying this tremendously," purred Voldermort from his perch on the couch.

Cheers mate.

"Really though Sir, I think we should see what we can do about tracking them down" urged Lucius.

"Of course, Lucius, I think you should look into it" smiled Voldemort

"Well, of course I should" nodded Lucius.

A long pause stretched across she room, randomly broken by Narcissa's furious sobs.

"Weeeell, what are we waiting for?" inquired Voldemort.

"Uh, aren't you coming?" asked Lucius.

"Awww, why? Does little Lucius need me to hold his hand?" laughed Voldemort.

Nice one, Dark Lord, thought Lucius, real nice. Behind him Narcissa joined in the laughter, and there they were laughing, like to laughing things. Honestly.

Rolling his eyes not for the first time, and he was so sure not for the last Lucius stalked out of the room and down to the "Evil" room to track his delinquent son and his boy toy down.

----------------------------------------------------

Sitting at a comfy little booth Harry watched Draco sip his coffee with the air of someone who's been there, seen it all and bought the T-shirt Company. Of coffee beans that is. Honestly, you'd think the dude was a coffee tester the way he was going on. Ti Kwan Yin Oolong coffee from the "Fujian Province" blended with cream and sugar and milk my ass scoffed Harry as he drank his hot chocolate.

"So, your dad would really off you?" asked Harry.

"Well, I dunno, he'd probably just curse me, you know, the usual" replied Draco motioning for the waitress to come over.

"Oh, uh, yeah" nodded Harry, Curses? What curses?

"Hey, "Angela", can we get some hot scones over here, with the jam and the cream and some of those really nice biscuits you have, and that Fruit pie looks good, can we have a slice or two of that, you have croissants? Oh good, bring a basket of those too please" Draco ordered with a very confused Harry looking on.

"Uh, Draco, where's the famine?" he asked.

"Huh? No famine am just peckish".

"Wow, what do you eat when you hungry?"

"Pretty much the same, just two times it"

"Yuh huh" nodded Harry dumbly. Wow he thought, Draco Malfoy is a pig! Cool!

"So, we can't use magic then I guess" mused Harry.

"Yeah, my dad would have us in a second, it's a thing he has, can track magic, pretty cool really" replied Draco.

"I think we should make are way to Hermione's and Ron's" said Harry "I mean there cool, they'd help us".

"Hey, why can't we go to my friends for help?" asked Draco looking offended.

"Cuz my friends wouldn't kill us and eat our brains" Harry replied.

"Good point".

A/N: Heya! Hope you all enjoy the next bit! More's a coming! Reviews! Loves 'em! Love you all too!