Disclaimer: Yup, I think we all know how this goes. Yup yup yup!

A/N: I'm trilled! Absolutely thrilled to have gotten 5 reviews so far!!! Thank you all for making it possible! Thank you! (bows) Oh, I have still not received any info on how to do "dot dot dot" italic, bold, etc etc, when I do them using the buttons on Microsoft word, they just don't come out on the fanfiction page. So I will be using the good old fashioned "(pause)" to do the "dot dot dots" and try to not use the rest. Any help on this matter will be appreciated though! Now, onward beasts onward!

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Dressing up by Queen.

Seven cups of coffee, a quick trip to a "Bed and breakfast" another one to a bank where they found they could cash in wizard gold for quite a sum of money, and another 4 cups of coffee later it was 9am and the boys were ready for action. Although if you were buzzing like Draco you would have been ready to climb Everest.

"Come on Harry Potter!" he yelled, grabbing a startled Harry by his arm and tearing off in the direction of the costume shop.

"Eh, yeah am coming Malfoy, calm down" pleaded Harry as the blonde made a beeline for the door. And wasn't slowing down. He was going to run them right into the door!

"Draco!" shouted Harry pulling back hard. Useless. Damn lack up upper body strength.

As he, Draco and their breakfasts were about to collide with the door it suddenly swung open revealing a stout man looking at them in vague surprise.

To bad Draco was still running head long into him.

Harry felt the soft pudginess of the mans upper body before he felt the "thunk" of his crotch slamming into Dracos head. Who for reasons best known to himself had fallen to his knees as he slammed into the startled man.

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry!" gasped Harry in embarrassment jumping backwards "Malfoy!"

Draco stood on his knees his head buried in the mans crotch laughing (muffled, but laughing nonetheless) like a hyena.

"Malfoy, get up!" cried Harry now quite willing to let the ground swallow him up and take him to wherever the hell it wanted, death seemed nice right about now.

Still giggling stupidly Draco was dragged to his feet by a exasperate Harry and stood sniggering at the man.

"I'm so very sorry Sir – he's, ah, a bit mad" moaned Harry. Way ta go champ, make things rosier by making him think he's just been accosted by some mental tossers!

"Oh, no problem, I usually have to do something to get charming young lads to through themselves at my feet" laughed the man, beckoning them inside.

At this Draco erupted into fresh peels of laughter while Harry looked at him dubiously. Uh huh, so it's a regular occurrence then is it. Brilliant. Were buying from a pimp.

"So, what can I do for you little masters?" the man asked, "Joes the name, Big Joe" he added extending his hand.

Draco grabbed it shaking it vigorously. "My names Draco sir! I want to buy some girls clothes!" he sang loudly and again erupted into peels of laughter.

"Um, yes, we would indeed like to buy some (painful pause) girls clothes," said Harry.

"Well, look around lads then, ill be over here by the cash desk, ask me if there's anything you need" he said smiling while trying to detach the frantic Draco from his hand.

"Come on Malfoy, lets go shop" muttered Harry dragging the hyped up Draco after him.

"Honestly, are you always like this when you drink som-a lot of coffee?" asked Harry as he parked them in front of a rack of clothing to inspect what there was.

Laughter "No, my parents don't let me drink the stuff, makes me abit (pause) mad apparently" more laughter " I love it though, so I drink as much as I can get when there not here" sniggered Draco toying with a pink feather boa.

"Oh, brilliant".

Malfoy Mannor. "Evil" Room. 9:15 am.

Lucius peered into the green gloopy mess that was meant to be at this moment tracking his bloody son and that potter one down. Honestly.

"Any luck Lucius?" asked a voice form behind him.

Jumping Lucius looked around and saw The Dark Lord and his bloody wife standing in the doorway.

"What are you doing here?! I – I mean its going ok Sir" Lucius replied. Damn them, probably came down to laugh at him.

"Uh, were here to laug- I mean see how you're doing," replied Voldemort smiling.

Ha! Thought Lucius to himself, pouncy tosser.

Phew! Thought Voldemort to himself, close save.

Narcissa holding the lace hanky sniffed in the corner looking disgruntled at Lucius. Oh if looks could kill he thought.

At that moment the cauldron in front of him popped and the green gloop began to overflow.

"Ah, now we'll see where they've got to" he grinned leaning over it.

"Uh huh" chorused Narcissa and Voldemort exchanging doubtful looks.

"Tener he falls in" hissed Narcissa.

Lucius peered into the green liquid and stared at the scene materializing in front of him.

Draco ran down a street dragging a, it would seem, a very disgruntled Harry Potter with him into a shop with something to do with "costumes" written on the front. There appeared to be some collision at he door then they disappeared. Damn thought Lucius, the stupid tosser had gone and drank his weight in coffee, again. The scene expanded and the name of the town was shown on a sign, it was called "Gateway moors". Cute thought Lucius.

"Well, what news of the fugitives?" asked Voldemort as Lucius straightened up.

"There in a town called Gateway Moors" said Lucius and looking at Narcissa said seriously "and he's has coffee".

Both men winced again and clamped their hands over their ears as a tooth splitting wail of Narcissa went up and filled the "Evil" room.

Bollocks thought Lucius.

In the costume shop Harry dubiously shifted through the various outfits that to him looked "feminine".

He went to the dressing rooms holding two pairs of denim jeans that looked like 70s style that had never made it, a shirt of some sort that said "Go- Girl!" on it and a long black coat with pink fur around the collar. Draco had whizzed around the shop and had been trying on stuff now for the last half hour or so.

Harry struggled into the tight denim jeans with the spangles at the end and the belt that had ribbons of various colours running through it. Damn fifties style he muttered. Over this he shimmied into a black t-shirt thing (spangled too) with the "Go-Girl" written on it in pink letters and over this he through on the long black coat thing.

He looked in the mirror and nearly fell over in shock. Good god! He looked like a incredibly gay fifties Goth.

Behind him Draco came out of the changing room and turned to look at him.

"Oh my god! Potter! What are you wearing?!" he cried laughing hysterically.

Glaring Harry turned to face Draco ready to insult his ensemble. And stopped. Oh good god he thought.

Draco stood before him, tight leather black trousers encased his long slim legs, on his feet red sandals gave him that little extra height, a red boob tube made of some lycra material with little sequins wrapped around his torso and with the help of Big Joe had been shown the oh so nifty trick of using tape and two small things that looked like tiny balloons to convey the illusion of cleavage, on his wrists he sported various bracelets and black choker went around his lovely slim neck. As Harry watch he fixed a blonde wig, close to the same shade as normal colour. The wig gave him a definite feminine look; it was long and straight soft tendrils falling into his eyes. With a delighted laugh his blew them away and pranced up to the mirror, spun and whirled back to the dressing room to try on the next outfit.

Harry stared dumbfounded. Wow, this he had not been expecting. Draco looked . . . really . . . girl-like. It was quite scary. No, not quite scary. Freaking terrifying.

"Harry! What are you wearing you spa?" asked Draco incredulously as emerged from the dressing having run out of clothes to try on, he took in Harry's ensemble "you look ridiculous!"

Miffed Harry raised himself to his full height and regarded Draco "Hey, at least I don't look like a bloody prostitute!"

"Hey, at least am not looking like an incredibly gay fifties Goth!" spat Draco.

Damn thought Harry.

Laughing Draco set about going through the shop again in search for the perfect outfit.

Harry watched dumbfounded as Draco whirled through the shop picking things of the rails left and right and centre. Like a kid in a sweet shop thought Harry. It was quite scary. As he had previously mentioned.

Draco through an exasperate glance at Harry as he returned to the dressing tooms with yet another pile of garments under his arm. Some thought Harry looked incredibly dodgy.

"C'mon Potter, you look like a reject from the 70's, and you still don't look feminine enough!" he scolded and disappeared once again into the changing room. The blondey wig he had donned flicking neatly over his shoulder. Harry stared mutinously at the curtain, he had seen Draco's get up and there was no way I hell he was going to discover his feminine side that much!

"Malfoy, this is so stupid! Your dads gonna find us anyway!" cried Harry. This was getting ridiculous.

"Hey! Don't you ever say that!" snapped Draco from inside his little changing room "if he catches us, were a hell of a lot more then dead you hear!"

Yeah whatever muttered Harry.

At that moment Draco spun out of the changing room wearing what looked like a bunchy black skirt and a netty string top of some sort. Very vampire queen.

"Whatcha think stud muffin?" he asked grinning at Harry.

"I can quite honestly say am terrified" answered Harry "and, small problem" he added indicating to Dracos long slim legs.

Draco looked down. "Oh shit!"

Big Joe looked up from the cash desk and saw his two latest buyers heading towards him. One looked highly amused the other deeply miffed.

"Hey Mister, do you sell shaving cream?" asked the blonde miffed one.

Lucius Malfoy sat scrunched in the backseat of Ihis/I he couldn't stress that enough, His magicically powered sleek black Bentley. In the front on the two plush black leather seat sat Narcissa and The Dark Lord. The Dark Lord at the wheel. Narcissa chatting amiably beside him. He, Lucius sat in the backseat crunched between a giant cauldron, two boxes full of some kind of potion for some spell of another and three brooms. On his other side a giant cage took up the seat along with something that looked like a device for catching stray dogs, a bottle of mace and several pairs of handcuffs. ] Exactly how Voldermort planned on catching his son and that other boy Lucius wasn't sure, but it looked highly dodgy. And part of it was currently sticking up his rectum.

"You know, we have wands uh . . . Dark Lord" interjected Lucius from his spot in the back.

"Yes, but the duo in question have if memory serves correctly, fled to the muggle world. Magic must be used to a minimum unless we wish to risk capture or worse alerting that bloody Ministry to our presence, and we don't want that, do we Lucius?" replied Voldermort.

Blushing and shifting around on his ass Lucius shook his head in the negative. God damn you Draco, he though, look what you've gone and done you stupid pouncy gay . . . puff. Just lie back now and try to relax the little voice in his head said soothingly. As he head had just found the only section of seat that wasn't cluttered with mess and his eyes closed in a stolen moment of peace the radio suddenly switched on.

Bolting upright Lucius stared into the front where Narcissa sat moshing to some muggle band called Sum41 and Voldemort banging his head along time.

"What?" he managed.

"Oh shut up Lu" laughed Narcissa and promptly turned the radio up and went on moshing.

So here we are thought Lucius as the car speed along the country roads. Crushed into the back with enough equipment to blow up fort Knox and those two sitting in the front moshing. Fan-bloody-tastic.

"I can't believe am shaving my legs, I can't believe am shaving my legs, I can't believe am shaving my legs" whimpered Harry as he stood over a outdoors bath tub in the cold. His boxers hiked up to his armpits and his right leg covered in fluffy white shaving cream. In his left hand he dubiously held a little razor.

"Oh shut up Potter, it easy and better if you do it fast" sniggered Draco from behind him where he stood dressed in some kind of chain mail skirt and a black see-through gown thing with fur along the neck-line. Underneath that he wore a black corset. Around his waist he had tied a gold plated belt number, which had come from The Cleopatra line. His legs were completely hair free.

After Draco has been dealt out the razor and cream he had taken to it like a fish to water. And within 10 minutes was prancing around in a skirt showi8ng off his new legs. It was then he declared Harry's turn. He'd tried to fight it, honest to god he had but Draco Malfoy was not to be turned from an idea. Now he stood over the gritty little bath with the razor clutched in his hand.

"I'll cut myself, and ill die here bleeding to death," he muttered sorely to himself.

"You will not, don't be stupid. Here your gonna be here all day, let me do it" snapped Draco impatiently. And before Harry could object he had snatche4d the razor out of his hand and knelt beside and started to slowly drag the razor up his calve.

Harry gave a yelp of surprise. Draco Malfoy beside him with a razor was not a pleasant thought but the fact that Draco malfoy was being so very gently nearly. . . tender just completely finished him.

"Stay still Potter, you'll end up cutting half your leg off," muttered Draco.

Harry looked down horrified as he felt the tentive and smooth strokes move high on his leg.

Draco hand moved to his thigh for grip his eyes staying intently on the task at hand.

Harry was having an inward fit.

"There we go!" cried Draco suddenly and splashing some water over it rinsed the remaining foam off "smoothy smoothy smooth!"

Harry glances down and was shocked to see his pale but toned leg staring back at him. With Dracos hand still on his thigh.

"Whoa!" exclaimed Harry quickly yanking his leg from Malfoy's grip "that's uh . . .pretty. . . wow".

"Next one" smirked Draco looking up at him from under heavily made up eyes.

Sighing Harry raised his other leg and waited while the swift smooth strokes of the razor went up his leg. The things I do he muttered. Suppressing the shiver that ran through him as Draco's hand shifted higher on his leg.

Big Joe looked up and smiled. His two latest buyers stood before him one again looking highly amused the other looking highly miffed.

This time the amused blonde came up to him with a pile of clothing, feather boas, boots and various articles of make-up.

"Ring 'em up Sir" he smiled, but Big Joe only saw a slim, tall, blonde girl with quite a pronounced cleavage wearing a black corset, with a black see through thing over that and a chain mail skirt. A belt of gold plates ran around her waist and on her feet she wore a pair of thigh high spike heels.

The dark haired one now came up looking miffed.

"Yeah, ring 'em up" he sighed. Draco had selected a curly wig for Harry, and while the idea didn't sound good to Harry the over all effect was quite pleasing. The wig was fine and short, tight little curls drifted around Harry's pale sphinx like face. Rouge expertly applied by Draco highlighted his cheekbones. Dark shadow had been dusted over his eyes.

He wore a short white frilly skirt (from the Little Bo Peep line) patent white leather knee high boots and a black corset too. He felt ridiculous.

"Of course" smiled Big Joe and rang the items up.

Draco looked lazily out the window; it suddenly occurred to him they had no means of transport.

"Hey Mister, you have a car?" he asked.

"Sure do"

"You wouldn't be willing to . . . sell it would you?" asked Draco carefully.

Big Joe looked up. This pair quite obviously had money, it wasn't his job to ask where they'd got it but they had it and right now his missus was nagging him about bringing home to bread . . . a quick sale might be the end of that.

"How much for good Sir?" he asked.

Draco looked into his newly purchased handbag and smiled.

"Quarter of a million, and its Madam, please".

10 minutes later Harry and Draco sat in the red dusty Honda convertible with its moth-eaten seats and rickety windshield. There items in the back, Draco sat behind the wheel. Harry beside him a pair of dark sunglasses finishing his look. The sped down the freeway, fake hair blowing in the wind.

Big Joe looked after them; in his hand he held the check that the blonde had given him. He refused to take that much cash all at once as robberies were not unheard of. He looked at it and smiled. Written on it were the two signatures.

Foxy Franchesca and Chi Chi Malone.

There you go! Iv updated!!! Yay me! Review review review! Thank you all!

Queen.