Disclaimer: Nope, nothing.

A/N: And the saga continues! I hope your all enjoying this! That's it really. Enjoy!

ARGH! Rape! By Queen.

Lucius sat crusein' in HIS slick car. Blonde hair flying, dark glasses donned, minions in the back! Yeah baby yeah!

Behind him Narcissa and The Dark Lord sat scrunched together looking worse for wear. Lucius would insist on all the items they had been journeying with so far to be crammed in along side them. .

"Say. . . Lu. . . . would you like some company up there? In . . . the front?" asked Narcissa meekly from the back.

"Eh. . . .No!" replied Lucius looking trilled.

Narcissa slumped back, she was not one to take rejection lightly, in her humble opinion only her husband was good for that, but he had currently turned into a sex god so it was just plain stupid to think of rejecting him now!

Lucius sat happily in the front drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. So like his son. Suddenly from the background he heard a muffled grunt followed by an indignant "OW!"

Peering into the mirror he was in time to see Narcissa's head come through the space between the seat quickly followed by her torso and lower body. Behind her in the back seat Voldermort was nursing a black eye where her heel had kicked him. She was in fact climbing through the space between the chairs grinning in what she must have thought was a friendly and happy manner. She looked like a maniac.

"Gah! What are you doing?!?!" cried Lucius turning desperately to see what his maniac wife was doing now. And very quickly turned back as the car took a dodgy swerve into a truck.

"Don't worry Lulu, am just gonna come up there to join you!" smiled Narcissa.

Behind them Lucius head the muffled laughter and Voldermort muttering "Ha! 'Lulu'".

Oh for piss sake did it never end!

Keeping one hand on the steering wheel (for whatever good that was going to do) and glancing back every so often in agitation Lucius started trying to bat his beloved wife back into the backseat.

"Narcissa! You cant . . . urgh!. . .get back. . . you can't do this!" He cried trying in vain to keep at least one eye on the road and bat his wife back. "I'll get pulled over! Ill get a point on my licence!"

At this both Narcissa and Voldermort paused to stare at him.

"You know, when in Rome" shrugged Lucius.

"Lulu, stop . . ow!. . . stop that. . . honey its ok am just coming to. . . ow! Keep you company . . . you and those new pants of yours deserve some female company! . . . OW!"

Oh what fresh hell moaned Lucius to himself, if she wasn't embarrassing him before their Dark Lord and Master she was clinging onto him like a wet limpet.

At this point Narcissa seemed to have got stuck half way. Her legs kicked in the back once again catching the dark Lord on his other eye.

Swerving to miss a little red car Lucius groaned as beside him Narcissa wriggled fretfully and yanked his arm trying to pull herself free.

This should not be done on a normal road, and specially not on a highway. Which is where they now were.

Having successfully grabbed and hung onto his driving arm Narcissa now set about yanking herself free, using his arm as leverage.

"Let go!"

"No!"

"Let go!"

"NO!"

At that point a truck the sizes of a small whale veered pass them honking loudly.

"ARGGGGGGGHHHHH!" The three-o screamed loudly as they were enveloped in the gigantic trucks shadow and blasting horn.

It passed on ahead leaving a severely shaken Lucius a near dead Dark lord and a still stuck but now shrieking Narcissa.

"Narcissa get back!" yelled Lucius.

"NO!"

"I'LL SCREAM!"

"Scream what?"

"Uh. . .RAPE!"

She didn't expect that, who could? Grinning Lucius looked pointly at her.

As they were now drawing up to a family car full of little blonde haired kiddy-winks she glowered at him and wriggling, tried to get back to the other end of the car.

"Wanker!"

" Argh! RAAAAPPPPPPPEEEEEE!"

The windows were of course open and Lucius' loud voice rang out true and clear.

Five surprised and horrified faces (it could have been either) turned to stare at the strange company of this black Bentley.

The mother who seemed to be abit on the peeky side peered out at them as if not sure what she was seeing.

"Alan. . . is there a guy out there screaming rape?" she asked blearily.

The father who seemed to be two miles from a nervous break down gripped the steering wheel like life itself.

"Mary for the last time! Don't look out ok! It just makes you sick! Just look straight ahead! Straight ahead!"

Now tired of their antics and laughing at the unfortunate family Lucius made a sharp turn bringing them down a intersection that had found its way onto the swarming freeway,

A loud * thunk * in the back signalled the Dark Lord and his dear wife Narcissa falling back against the side of the car. This was followed by an indignant "ow!"

Yeesh, thought Lucius, give them and inch and they take a foot. Whether this thought was aimed at his dear son or the company in the backseat remains to be seen.

Speeding down the now very quite and somewhat dusty road Lucius took in his surroundings.

Mountain, mountain, tumbleweed, road kill, mountain, road kill, tumbleweed, broken down vehicle with scantily clad female gesturing for assistance, road kill . . . wait.

Slowing down he peered out at the strange spectacle that had appeared on the side of the road.

It appeared a pair of girls had driven a car into the nearby mountain. One, a eye catching blonde was now leaping around in -well Lucius didn't know what to call it, some kind of outfit- signalling for help. A darker haired girl sat looking dubiously at the other girl's antics. She said something, which caused the blonde to stamp her foot, say a few loudly gestured words and give her to finger.

Huh.

"Say, Nar, Volde, you wouldn't mind if we stopped and picked up some random hitchhikers would you"?

This was greeted with general mumbling and shrugging.

"Why bother Lu," mused Narcissa and peering out the car window to look ahead at the duo, " they look like some kind of hooker anyway".

At this Voldemort, looked up peering at the frantic figure of Draco dancing about.

"Lucius! I demand you pick up those hitchhikers!"

"Yes sir!"

Narcissa settled back in the backseat grumbling.

Harry squinted at the black car that was slowly pulling up beside them.

"You sure this is a good idea? I mean. . . weren't you ever told not to take lifts of strangers?" he asked delicately, already he ha earned himself a verbal beating and the finger from Draco for saying he looks like a string bean getting random electric shocks.

"Silence!" Draco snapped, then turning smiling he added, "What's the worst that could happen?"

Lucius pulled up beside the pair, they certainly looked . . . extraordinary. Well, all would be revealed in time. Behind the Dark Lord was peering out trying to see them and Narcissa was rambling on about hormones and "thick headed males". _______________________________________________________________

Draco and Harry stood before the car door and watched as the window (which had previously been pulled up due to Narcissa's request for the safety of her hair) and watched as the tinted window slide mysteriously down.

Draco watched and suddenly, he felt, the tightening of his heart, the trembling in his legs. The symptoms that only his father could inspire in him.

Oh God.

It hit him before it hit Harry, the realisation.

Oh God no.

The bleach blonde hair, the cold blue eyes, now filled (horribly) with something resembling lustful interest.

Oh sweet Jesus no.

"Hello there, may we be of service?" asked the silky voice of Lucius Malfoy.

"OH GOD NO!" screamed Draco.

This was met with silence from the car and raised eyebrows from the driver. Beside him Harry had taken to trembling like a leaf on a string, a leaf that had just hit stormy weather.

Brilliant thought Draco frantically, I really need the stupid little pounce and he goes jelloid on me!

"Uh. . . " Lucius looked out at them, seeing nothing but two strange looking girls, one of whom had just screamed out "Oh God no!" for no reason he could see and the other who just seemed to stand there and shake. Very strange.

He doesn't know! He doesn't see! A little voice in Draco's mind screamed. He thinks your two girls!

"Oh!, I . . . oh, yes!" burst out Draco. What else could he say?

Beside him Harry made a low moaning noise and promptly fell over.

Quickly Draco slid a arm around him and held him upright. No no no no no no, this cannot be happening!

"We. . . would!" he cried out loudly, his voice ringing with fear. Beside him Harry quite literally hung there eye huge legs useless. Draco's arms strained as he felt Harry's legs give way. Don't drop him don't drop him don't drop him!

Now Lucius just looked confused and slightly off-put.

"Would. . . what?" he asked cautiously eyeing up Harrys fainted state confusedly. Clearly having second thoughts about deciding to pick up random hitchhikers in short skirts. As one seemed completely out of it and in the process of falling over, the other one a maniac who was looking at him with what only be called controlled fear. Very very strange.

"Oh!. . . we would like your services! Please!" choked out Draco frantically. His own legs at this point were giving away and he felt his cheek twitch involuntarily. Oh god.

"Oh! Good! Well, hop on in!" beamed Lucius recovering himself a little.

"Ho kay" squeaked Draco and Harry exchanging horrified looks.

Beneath their taffeta skirts their legs were shaking like milk bottles.

Cliff-hanger no? REVIEW! Thank you! I bid you farewell!