A/n : I know I always put stuff at the beginning... but I can't think of anything... Oh yeah! In the third chap., putting Zenshou in Kagome's father's form was a suprise to me too! ^-^; As I started that section, I was gonna have him be Miroku... I dunno. Then my evil side took over and I ended up putting in her dad. I'll have to write a side story now..... Though I will explain a bit why Kagome was/is so afraid. And, I'm afraid, that I should put this as an angst fic... what do you think? (I didn't originally because I'm not sure what angst means...) Anyways.... I definitely will have to if my evil side takes over any more... which it will. I have multiple personalities!! O.O; I think that that's normal, right? Miroku's POV!

Disclaimer : Let's flip a coin! Heads, I own Inu Yasha, tails, you don't. *flips it into the air and a lawyer catches it, glaring* Well, I can always wish, can't I?

Regrets

Chapter 4

As I am walking back towards the village, I ponder what to do about Lady Kagome. The medical facilities in her time are wonderous, so if Inu Yasha manages to reach her in time, that would be the best place to take her. I can't help much with that field of my studies. If she needs some emotional healing, however, the best place to be was among familiar surroundings. I hate to admit it, but she spends more time here than in her normal world.

Thinking of her world set me off on an entirely different track of thinking. I had pondered this many times before, but it never seemed real to me - Kagome's time. The marvels she spoke of. And she knew what had happened - would happen - even ten or a hundred years from now. It was in her texts. History. A time noone alive can remember. But I'm alive now, and living in that time she would call the past. Does this mean that all times in the world existed simultaneously? The days in her time corresponded exactly with ours. It seemed as though time was a thing with rules that were easily bent, or broken.Can two times exist at once? Perhaps, when Lady Kagome is gone from her time, it ceases to exist. Then it starts up as it would have gone if she had been there, but she hadn't?

Laughing at myself, I realized that I had enough ponderous thoughts in my life already, without questioning time. Kaede looked at me sharply when I laughed. I could tell that Lady Kagome meant much to her as a reincarnation of her sister. That she was in danger put even more lines into her already aged face. Could she bear to lose Kagome? Could I? I stopped. Had I never realized what Lady Kagome did for me, for all of us? She had become a very dear friend to me. I realized that it was she who worried over all of us. I sometimes heard her at night, murmuring in her sleep, saying our names, and knew she was having a nightmare. She was the one who kept me going when I felt as though I should let the curse just kill me. She gave me a feeling of hope and peace that even, I, as a monk had never felt. Yet, somehow though I loved her, it was not a romantic love. I respected her too greatly for that.

Thinking of love lead me to thoughts of depressing nature. Thoughts of the past. I could see the pain in my mother's eyes as she told me of mine and my father's fate as a child. I saw her devestated, sobbing form as she learned of my father's death. And her form, wasted and pale on the funeral pyre a few months after my father's death. Dead from the loss of my father. I gazed at my cursed hand. Could I put a woman through that? I had decided numerous times that I would never fall in love. But I saw the face of Kagome every time when Inu Yasha smiled at her, whenever he had been talking to Kikyo, whenever he protected her and came away injured, and changed my mind every time. Perhaps that was what love was about. Sacrifice and redemption.

I was started out of my thoughts as I saw a group of saimyoshou fly over the forest. I could tell that they were up to something terrible. A pit formed in my stomach as I sensed the amount of evil energy they were flying towards. From the amount, I could tell that there were at least one hundred youkai in a small area. What were they doing? Staring at the forest, I decided to investigate, but Kaede caught at my sleeve.

"I've sensed that energy as well, but going in there is suicide and you know it. Even with your Air rip. We must barricade the village against an attack." She stated this firmly and clearly, in a tone that gave one little choice but to obey. Then I noticed that the youkai started attacking something. I heard the battlecry of a young woman. Startled, Kaede let go of my sleeve.

"Take care of the village yourself. I cannot leave that young woman to be slaughtered." I said, and ran into the darkening forest.

* * * *

Sango's POV

As youkai jump out from around me, I pull Hiraikotsu off my back. I know that I'm severly outnumbered, but I'm also trapped. Kirara transforms, but I can see that she's tired from an earlier battle. With Kohaku? Is he alright? Maybe he sent Kirara to check on me. I can feel the thoughts and worries drain out of my head as I relax into a battle stance. I grin wickedly, feeling the enegy course though my body. The youkai are poised to attack. Why aren't they?

This must be the trap, I think. The one that that young lord set. What had his name been? Naraku. I try to remember where his castle was, so I can repay him when I'm done, but I can't seem to recall. *He must have used a spell.* The youkai seem to be waiting for something, some signal. I hear a rustling and a swarm of wasp youkai come and drop something in front of me. A chain sickle. It's bloodied and broken. I feel the rage building up inside of me. I remember my father always said : 'Don't fight with anger. It's bound to make you reckless.' I decide to deal with my anger later, and then as the wasp youkai pull back, the others attack.

Screaming a wordless cry of defiance, I throw my Hiraikotsu into the fray. Kirara, behind me tears apart demons as they get within range. Hiaraikotsu, taking out the demons that were unlucky enough to be in it's path, arced back to me. I notice that my main weapon will not be of much use in such close quarters. I caught it, and used it to clear the area in front of me by swinging it like a blade. Given a bit of free time, I drop Hiaraikotsu and begin to pull out my sword. A demon, who must have ducked hiraikotsu, suprises me by tackling me to the ground and begins to tear at me with it's claws and teeth. Cursing, I pull out my sword and slice through it. I have lacerations up my arm and side and I begin to feel the burning pain of poison. More demons are literally on top of me, but I slash through them, atttempting to get to my feet. I know that staying down will be a fatal mistake, but there are so many of them! They continue piling on top of me, so I can barely swing my blade. I feel the demon's blood dripping onto me, becoming like acid on my many wounds.

As their claws rip at me, I feel weak, and know that I am passing out. I am going to die. As I swing wildly, my sword misses more often and it slips from my numb fingers. My thoughts become muddled. *It all happened so fast.* I hear Kirara fighting to pull the demons off of me and smile. *She's always so loyal, she can't die.* I weakly order her to leave. I hear her despair, and she obediently flies into the trees, knowing that it is hopeless.

I am wondering why these demons didn't just kill me instantly, when suddenly I feel a great wind, and the demons are ripped from my body. Then I too am sucked towards the source of the wind. It stops and I fall into someone's arms. A person? Opening my eyes with a great effort, I see a kind face. I smile a little at him, happy not to have been eaten by demons.

"It will be alright." I hear his kind and calming voice. Kirara comes over in her small form, and nudges at my hand. "I promise it will be alright." I nod, smiling weakly, and then the darkness comes.

* * * *

Miroku (again)

As I arrive, I see the multitude of demons swarming over something, most likely the girl. A firecat demon is tearing at the rest, obviously trying to rescue the girl. I begin to unleash the void, but pause. I cannot suck that firecat into the void! It would not be right. Debating, I see the cat finally give up, howling in anguish. It retreats into the trees. Grinning, I finish taking the rosary from my hand.

As the demons are sucked into the void, I begin to realize just how many demons this girl has slain. For every one that is alive that is sucked into oblivion, there are two dead. Granted, some the firecat had slain, but still... this girl must be a professional. The last of the demons have been sucked up, and the girl's prone form flies into my arms as I seal the void.

I am suprised at the extent of her injuries. She has many deep wounds, but it was obvious that these demons had been ordered to make her suffer. She looks up at me, and thoughthe rest of her is bloodied and torn, her face has few marks. Her eyes seem to be going in and out of focus, implying poison. She smiles at me and I realize how pretty she is. My heart beats a little faster. Wanting suddenly to reassure and protect this girl, I find words.

"It will be alright." I say, and the firecat, who is now the size of a normal cat, nudges her hand, meowing pieously. Looking again at her injuries, I swallow. "I promise it will be alright." I wonder if I'm trying to reassure myself as well. She smiles again, faintly, and nods. Smiling in return, I feel my heart skip a beat as she goes limp. *You can't die!* I feel for a pulse. I find one, and I breathe again, though I had not realized I had been holding my breath.

Picking her up. I see the cat has transformed itself again, and dragged over a few weapons, a chain sickle, a large boomerang and a sword. The sword I put in the sheath on the girl's side. Pondering for a moment, I strap the boomerang and sickle to my back, wrapping the sickle's blade so it will not cut me. I put the girl on the firecat and climb on behind, holding her around the waist so she will not fall. Pointing the animal in the right direction, we take off. As we fly, I notice the warm feeling I get when holding her close. It's strange, I have never had this feeling before. I also notice that my clothes are getting wet with blood. Cursing in a most un-monk like way, I urge the poor animal faster. Noticing that the cat's sides are dernched with sweat, I feel bad. I should have realized that the poor thing was exhausted. I promise myself that I will repay it when I next have time.

We come down in the village, and suddenly, I find myself at the business end of a few spears. The villagers certainly are prepared. They notice that they know me, and mumble apologies, shuffling off. Kaede comes forward and notices the girl. Taking her, without a word, she heads off to her hut. I follow, but she does not let me come in.

"If you want to help Miroku, boil some more water, find clean rags and gather more herbs. I will not sully her privacy, even as wounded as she is." I begin to yell at her filled with rage, but stop. Why am I so mad? A bit dazed, I wander off and get some water from the river. Borrowing a pot from one of the villagers, I light a fire and put the water on to boil. I drop a few rags in as well, so that they will be purified as well. Leaving a few children to mind the fire, I wander a bit.

Remembering, I go off to find the firecat. It's in it's small form, in a heap where I left it. I see it, panting, and gather it up into my arms. I collect a blanket and some more rags and head toward the river. Walking to the place designated for men's bathing, I take off my clothing and wade into the water. I take the little cat and rinse it off, though it makes weak protests. Once the cat has had all the sweat rinsed off, I take it to the shore, dry it off, give it a drink and wrap it in the blanket. Smiling as it falls asleep, I gather my own clothes. I see the blood on them and am angry again. Who had this girl been that Naraku would try to kill her? I vow to get revenge for her. I rinse my clothes off, and lie in the sun-warmed grass, waiting for them to dry. As my eyelids droop I realize that I am more tired than I had thought. Watching the sun set, I drift off to sleep.

* * * *

Kagome - Flashback

I am five. There is a knock on the door. Running to the door I open it. Seeing who is there, I turn to run, calling for my mother. However, I am tripped. I fall on my face and my father laughs, holding my ankle. I hear my mom coming and I start to worry. *No, mommy, run!*

"Let her be.. Please, Michio!" My mother catches at his arm, pleading.

"Shizuka! You will do as I say!" He throws her back against the wall. "Both of you, worthless! You - girl!" He hauls me up by the shirt, and I can smell the alcohol on his breath. He was worse when he was drunk. "I'm hungry. Make me some food!" He throws me to the floor, hard.

Retreating, I crawl towards the kitchen.

- Two months later -

My father got in again somehow. He isn't supposed to have a key. He is supposed to stay away from us. But nobody ever enforces it. They're all too afraid of him. Momma won't tell, because she's afraid he'll really hurt me. He hasn't ever really hurt me bad. He does hurt momma though. It scares me.

Though, I still try to like him, and make him happy. He's the only daddy I've got. But it never works. Whenever he comes, I have to sleep in the kitchen, on the floor. He says that I'm too useless to be taking up space like that. Then he gets up in the morning and wakes me, and I make his breakfast. He throws it at me.

"Practice some more! Maybe if you learned to actually do something, people would think you're worth something." He says. I try to sneak out, but he sees me. Smiling, he yanks me back into the room. "You think you're so smart don't you! You think you can get away with everything. I your mother spoils you rotten, you little brat. That's why I have to teach her a lesson. And it's your fault."

- Two years and three weeks later -

I see the police cars pull up to the house. A policewoman gets out, and walks slowly to our door. I go get my mother and hear the knock on our door. As she goes to the door. I follow. She doesn't see me, I'm very good at being quiet. Daddy had me practice. He always said I was too loud and woke him up. I hear the police officer.

"Mrs. Shizuka Higurashi?" My mother nods, and I wonder why the lady even asked. She already knew the answer. "Your husband, Michio, was apprehended in a robbery. When he was bieng handcuffed, he assaulted the officer and stole his gun. While I can't tell you many more details, your husband was shot as he held an officer hostage." My mother doesn't move, doesn't say a word. The woman tries to console her, but I'm not sure mommy is sad. After a while, she gives her a number to call and leaves.

Mommy may not be sad, but for some reason, I was. I feel the tears running down my face. I could never do anything right. I never got him to like me. I would never see my daddy again. I had lost him on my eighth birthday.


End


Chapter four



A/n : Ok, I didn't really want this to be the end of this chapter, but I feel so bad. I haven't had much time to write at all. You see I am preparing to move. My father got a job in Oregon. So, I really will try to update as much as possible, but Like this past week, I may not get all I want done.