After These Years
Strawberry Gashes
Many call me the greatest wizard of the age…I never though of myself like that… true, I can pride myself in saying I had the strength to stand up to two great evil wizards, and I lived…but I also made mistakes…my mistakes haunt my sleepless nights, the faces of those affected by them still in my memory.
I failed many people in my lifetime…
I failed Lily and James Potter.
They came to me seeking help and I told them that I could next to nothing for them… that their son, the little light of their eyes was destined to live a life marked by death or murder… that for reason they cannot control, they must hide... I helped them.in a way...yet I failed them...I should've known Lily and James were not fools…they did not use Sirius as Secret Keeper as we would've expected… Yet I had my doubt bout Pettigrew and never spoke them…
I failed them all…
I failed Sirius Black.. Who thought I could do something to help him…yet I did nothing to keep him from getting locked up.
He was fed to those wolves at the Ministry, and I could do nothing to stop it. I sat and watched.
Then I did nothing to prevent his death. I could've, I'm sure of it. But I didn't. I could've given him something to do…people like him hate being locked up…I knew it and did nothing about it.
Remus Lupin is the one I didn't fail as much. They trusted me, his friends and himself. I saw their group falling apart. Yet, somehow, I managed to save Remus from himself. Offering him a home at Hogwarts and a job, I managed to take his mind of his inner demons.
Harry Potter… A boy who has had so much drama in his life and still managed to get over it. The boy trusted me.
He saw me as somebody who could fix it all.
I failed him miserable during his 5th year.
I refused to hear him out, scared of the fondness I had for him. With the Ministry ambushing the castle, he had no ways of contacting his godfather and I was the only person he could turn to. And I turned away.
I knew at the moment I saw him have the same reaction as his father had years ago, when he learned of the prophecy, I had to tell him as well. Now or never.
He seemed shocked and alone… Couldn't and didn't want to understand why it was him.
And I looked at him. Knowing that from now on I could do close to nothing for him.
My name is Albus Dumbledore and I am considered the greatest wizard alive.
My name is Albus Dumbledore, and my mistakes do not let me sleep at night.
Author Notes:
This is my 20th story on fanfiction.net. One year ago today, I posted my very first story on this account. Through this year I've changed a lot, and that change could be noticed in my writing style.
I want to thank the 37 people who have me on their author list and to everybody who reviewed and were close to me.
I love you all so much!
Disclaimer: I do not own any characters. My inspiration, JK Rowling does.
