Angel knocks on the door for the third time. "Dammit, Wes, you've got to be in there," He says to himself. He finally tries the knob and finds it unlocked. "Wes knows better than to leave his doors unlocked."
He steps inside. He realizes that Fred was right about what she told him about Wes' apartment. It doesn't look like he lives in it, it's too spotless. Not like he cleans, but like nothing has been disturbed in days.
"Wes?" Angel calls. "Wesley, are you here?"
There is no reply, but Angel follows his nose to the bedroom. He smells vomit. Alcohol. Blood. Sex. He finds Wes facedown on the bed with a pillow over his head. Angel sees that the blood is from Wes' hand, which lies limply on the bed.
"Wes," Angel sighs. He sits down on the edge of the bed and reaches over to shake the man. As soon as his hand touches Wes' arm, Wes sits up abruptly, holding a knife in his injured hand.
"Wes, wait!" Angel protests, standing up and taking a few steps away from the panicked man.
"Angel?" Wes asks, blinking away the sleep in his eyes and lowering the knife.
"Where'd you get that knife, Wes? I didn't even see it coming…" Angel gasps, startled.
"I keep it close by. What are you doing here? How'd you get in?" Wes asks, putting a hand to his head and wincing in pain. Angel is shocked by his appearance. He realizes that he hasn't seen the man in a long time and his health seems to have deteriorated.
"Your door was open, Wes."
"Damn. Is there something you need?" Wes asks, after a pause. He meets Angel's gaze for the first time with dull blue eyes.
"Yeah. How are you, Wes? You look like hell…"
"You just answered your own question. I feel just like I look," Wes remarks.
"You're shaking," Angel notes.
"I know," Wes replies, looking away.
"Faith told me that she told you about Lilah. How are you holding up?" Angel asks, quietly.
Wes shrugs. "It doesn't change anything. I should have known…I should have been able to tell…I should have tried harder to fight it…" He starts to mutter to himself and his eyes glaze slightly.
"Wes. It isn't your fault," Angel says, starting to worry about the other man's sanity.
"I knew it was wrong, Angel, I knew it. But I couldn't stop myself, I just…couldn't…she's everywhere…" Wes mutters, shaking his head.
"Wesley. She tricked you. She wanted to enjoy the last few days she had on earth so she was using you. She thinks you love her, Wes…" Angel starts.
Wes rushes from the room and Angel hears the sound of him vomiting. He returns after several minutes. "I'm sorry, Angel…I'm not feeling so well…" He says, staggering slightly back toward the bed.
Angel steadies him as he starts to falter. Angel seats him on the bed.
"Wes. I know you're tired. When's the last time you ate something?"
"I don't know. I can't keep anything down," Wes replies, quietly.
"Lilah told us the spells that she used. We've translated some of them…" Angel starts.
"And?" Wes asks, indifferently.
"One of them…Damn, I knew I should have brought Fred to explain…One of them said that the longer you were away from Lilah, the worse you would feel. It's making you sick to be away from her," Angel says, gauging Wes' reaction.
Wes doesn't react. He simply nods. "The more I resist, the worse I feel."
"Wesley. Talk to me. I know I haven't really been a friend lately," Angel begins.
"Don't apologize, Angel. For once, this has nothing to do with you," Wes sighs.
"But it does. I should have seen what was happening to you. I just assumed that…"
"That I would come to you if something was wrong. I'm sorry," Wes replies. "Something…when I'm around you, or Fred…something happens to me…it almost…hurts," Wes confesses, covering his face. He is trembling uncontrollably.
"It's probably one of the spells," Angel says, unsure.
"I'm exhausted, Angel. I feel like everything is spinning out of control. I don't think it's the spells. It's something else," Wes confesses.
"What?"
"I'm finally losing it. My mind. I think I'm going insane…"
"No, Wes. It's the magic and the drinking, you're not going insane," Angel denies.
"I don't know…the drinking…god…I don't know anything anymore…I just need to rest…" Wes murmurs, his eyelids drooping.
"I'm going to stay with you, is that okay? I'll make you something to eat, I promise it'll make you feel better. Wes? We'll fix this," Angel promises.
"Whatever you think is best. I'm too tired to argue," Wes sighs, lying down and covering his head with the pillow.
Angel closes the door to the bedroom, leaving it open just a crack. He calls Fred and Lorne, telling them about the situation. He can't talk them out of coming over. He doesn't call Gunn. He isn't sure about Gunn anymore. The man that appears sporadically around Wolfram and Hart is only a shadow of the friend that Angel knew and loved. Gunn isn't there anymore. And now, he's losing Wesley, too.
Angel goes into the kitchen and finds that there is no food or evidence of food anywhere in the kitchen. Because of the sunlight, he can't go out for groceries. He tries Fred's cell phone but she doesn't answer. He tries Faith.
"Hello?" A man answers.
"Yes. I'm looking for Faith."
"Who is this?"
"Angel."
"Hold on."
"Faith here. What's up, Angel?"
"Tell Robin I said hello. I'm not going to be able to come by today, Faith. Wes is in a pretty bad way. I don't think he's eaten in…a few days."
"I knew he looked like shit, but I didn't think it was…damn, Angel. Are you sure?"
"There's no food in his house, Faith. I mean, nothing. Nothing except empty bottles of scotch. He's shaking like a leaf and he…he says that he's losing his mind. Wes…he never talks that way," Angel says.
"What do you need me to do?"
"Can you do a little grocery shopping and bring it by Wes'? He needs to eat and I can't go shopping right now. Will Robin be okay by himself?" Angel asks.
"Wes' doctor just left. I'll bring Robin with me. He hasn't been out in a while. It'll do him good," Faith replies.
"Are you good for money?" Angel asks, as an afterthought.
"Wes left a Wolfram and Hart charge card with Robin today," Faith replies.
"Smart Wes. That's fine. We'll see you guys when you get here," Angel replies, opening the door for Fred and Lorne who have rushed over. Lorne is carrying a tall stack of books containing the spells Lilah mentioned.
"Where is he?" Fred's worry lines her face.
"He's resting in the bedroom," Angel says. Lorne deposits the books on the coffeetable and follows Fred into the bedroom. Angel doesn't stop them, knowing that Fred's chatter will probably rouse Wes regardless.
"Wes?" Fred calls, stepping inside.
"Hello, Fred. Lorne." Wes sits up immediately.
Fred goes to Wes and embraces him. "I'm so sorry, Wes. It's like we abandoned you all over again…"
"It's not your fault, Fred. I think everyone's been caught up in their new job lately," Wes replies.
"You've got to learn how to open up, Wesley, your aura is screaming at me. Will you sing for me? Let me see what little Lilah's done to you?" Lorne asks, smiling to reassure him.
Wes sighs. Fred doesn't leave his side, she settles in beside him with an arm around his trembling shoulders. "I don't think there's much left to be done…"
"Let's try, though, okay Wes? We always have to try," Fred replies.
Wes closes his eyes and sings a few lines of an old lullaby that Fred doesn't recognize. Lorne's face flashes emotion suddenly before the demon recovers his composure as Wes' song comes to an end.
"She did a number on you, all right. Why don't you get some rest, I can tell you're about to collapse…" Lorne says, upbeat.
Wes smiles at Lorne. "I know that it wasn't pleasant, Lorne, I'm sorry."
Lorne opens his mouth to protest, but Wes has already lain back down on the bed. Fred gives Lorne a scolding glance.
"Fred. I'll be okay. Go with Lorne. I'm sure you'll want to hear what Lorne has to say. I'll call you if I need you," Wes mutters. Fred places the pillow over Wes' head like he had it when they entered.
"Get some sleep, Wes," Fred says, closing the door as she goes out into his apartment.
"I need a drink, stat," Lorne says to Angel.
"You read him?" Angel asks.
"Loud and unclear. It's not good. She's got him layered in so many spells and potions that it's actually affecting his health," Lorne replies, pouring himself a glass of Wes' scotch.
"Lorne?" Fred calls, concerned.
Lorne finishes his glass and sits down on the couch. "Poor kid. Lilah didn't tell you everything, Angel. She's really fucked him up. I don't think there's anything we can do…"
