AN: Sorry for the lengthiness of this fic, all my stories tend to run long. This story has taken on a life of it's own and I think we'll be seeing a lot of characters we haven't seen in a while. Everyone is going to be making an appearance, if anyone can stay interested that long. Thanx for the reviews!!

*****

"…Icarus is not a tee shirt or a swan song, no
He is born again and it's not easy being me
But I can't promise I will mend or bend
When you believe that we are fixed now from our birth
And I've just fallen back to earth
Still you know I'll try again
Cause I believe that we are lucky
We are golden we're stolen manners
In the days when we were one…"
--Third Eye Blind

Lindsey opens his mouth to speak but Angel raises his hand.

"No. I changed my mind. Don't talk. Just keep your mouth shut," Angel says, suddenly, opening his cell phone. "Lorne? I need you to meet me at Wes' house. I need you there, like, ten minutes ago. Thanks, Lorne." He grabs Lindsey by his bad arm and pulls him down the street.

"Angel…" Lindsey starts.

"Shut up. I don't want to hear you squeak until we get to Wes'.

Wes and Faith glance at each other before following them down the street. Wes' phone starts to ring.

"Yes?" Wesley answers as Faith stops with him

Gunn's voice startles him. "Wes. Something's wrong."

"What?" Wes asks, confused.

"This is big shit, English. I gotta come out for this," Gunn adds. Wes recognizes his friend's voice for the first time in months.

"I'll come pick you up."

"Thanks. And Wes. Cordy's awake, too."

Faith doesn't hear Gunn's words but she gasps seeing Wes' pale shocked expression. Angel stops, turning around.

"Gunn?" Wes whispers.

"I'm serious. She's pretty shaken up. She remembers everything, Wes. She was being controlled by Jasmine, but she remembers."

"What is it?" Angel demands, concerned.

Wes waves him off, taking a few steps away from his concerned friends.

"So come get us, English. It's important."

Wes drops his phone and starts walking away.

"Wesley, what is it?" Faith calls after him.

"Faith, go with Angel and Lindsey. Now. I'll meet you in a few minutes."

Angel and Faith watch him rush away, too stunned to speak.

"It was Gunn. On the phone, I mean. He said something that spooked the hell out of Wes," Faith says, a few feet from the house.

"Wyndham-Pryce knows what's coming, you could see it on his face," Lindsey remarks.

Angel growls, shoving Lindsey into the house.

"Damn, another handicapped in the house?" Xander asks, waiting inside with Lorne and Fred.

"Lindsey McDonald. I cut his hand off a few years ago. Lorne?" Angel is too impatient for explanations.

"You remember the way this goes, Mr. McDonald," Lorne nods, walking up to Lindsey.

"I see nothing's really changed around here," Lindsey frowns. He begins to sing a slow country song. Surprise flashes on Lorne's face.

"Where's Wesley?" Xander turns to Faith. "He kind of flipped out back there…"

"I know. He got a call from Gunn…" Faith starts as Fred turns to listen.

"Gunn?" Fred asks. Faith nods.

"He took off. Said he'd meet us here," Faith finishes.

"Gunn…" Fred repeats, disbelieving.

Lorne is quiet as Lindsey finishes.

"Lorne? What is it?" Angel asks.

"He's not evil…he's got Cordy's visions." Lorne turns to speak to Lindsey. "You went to a shaman. You asked him to heal you and he cut off your evil hand and gave you the visions. Is that what happened?"

"Damned shaman. Damned visions." Lindsey glares at Angel. "They really hurt. I heard all about what happened with Jasmine. I was in this little town called Sunnydale, working the visions when they came. The only thing that makes the pain go away is to work the vision. I was saving the innocent or whatever when this big apocalypse crashed the whole damn town. I heard some vampire with a soul sacrificed himself to save the world, so I thought you finally bit the big one. I decided to come to L.A. If I had known you were still alive, I would have stayed the hell away from this place. I don't want anything to do with what's coming," Lindsey sighs.

*****

Wesley pulls up to the front door of Wolfram and Hart. Gunn and Cordelia are sitting on the bench out front.

Wes steps out, cautiously, glancing around.

"Look at you. Still paranoid as hell…" Cordelia says, slowly.

"Considering our circumstances, I think paranoia is called for…" Wes replies, choosing his words carefully.

"Guys," Gunn frowns.

Cordelia starts to cry. Wes pulls her gently to her feet and embraces her.

"It is good to see you," Wes whispers, kissing her forehead. She cries harder.

"Let's go," Wes says, after waiting a few minutes for Cordelia to stop crying. She doesn't.

"Where to? The hotel?" Gunn asks, climbing inside.

"No, I own a house on Sunset. A few of us stay there. Myself, Faith and Xander…"

"Xander?" Cordelia questions, between sobs.

"Yes. It's our primary base of operations. We still don't entirely trust Wolfram and Hart," Wes replies, his eyes clouded.

"What's on your mind, English?" Gunn asks. Slowly, he shakes his head. "You didn't tell tall dark and broody about us, did you?"

"We had another unexpected reunion earlier. Lindsey McDonald is back in the picture," Wes says, dialing a phone.

"Hello?" Faith answers.

"Faith. Who's there now?" Wes asks.

"Everyone but you. We have news," Faith says.

"So do I…" Wes replies.

"Are you okay?" Faith interrupts.

"I'll get back to you on that," Wes replies. "Let me talk to Angel."

"Okay," Faith sighs, frustrated at Wes' evasion.

"Wes? You look a little shaky," Gunn realizes, seeing the blood on Wes' hands and clothes.

"Wes? Where are you?" Angel asks. "We need you here…"

"Angel. This is important."

"What, Wes?"

"I'm bringing Gunn and Cordelia over. Five minutes."

There is silence. Finally, Angel's voice returns. "But…Wes…she's awake?"

"Not evil, at least not as far as I've seen so far," He says, glancing at the still sobbing Cordelia.

"She's…"

"Five minutes, Angel."

"Um…" There is a long silence on Angel's end and then Faith's voice breaks in.

"I don't know what you said to him, Wes, but he's crying…" Faith says.

"Cordy's back. I'm bringing her over. How's things there?"

"A little tense…Lorne and Fred are crying now, too, Wes. You better hurry."

"Okay," Wes smiles slightly, hanging up.

"Wesley. This is me talking, not creepy, cryptic guy from W & H…"Gunn begins. "You look like hell."

"You're too thin and you smell like a liquor store," Cordelia adds from the back seat, choking out her words through tears.

"Yeah, Wes…" Gunn starts.

"Enough. I'm aware of my appearance. I'm also aware of the amount of alcohol I consume. I'm okay," Wes responds. He is genuinely surprised at the concern he recognizes on Gunn's face. Wes parks the SUV behind the car that Xander and Faith share.

"Big house, Wes," Gunn remarks.

Wes helps Cordelia out of the car. He holds her by the shoulders. "Cordelia. You're going to have to tell us the story. If you didn't do anything wrong then you have nothing to fear. But. It works the other way, too. The games are done now. We're not playing anymore. Okay?" Before she can respond, Wesley takes her arm and gently leads her toward the house.

"Damn, Wes, that's a little cold," Gunn mutters, following them.

"Don't make me talk to him yet, Wes…" Cordy gasps, suddenly pulling away and crouching on the ground. "Please, Wes…the things I've done…please…he'll hate me…oh god…" She sobs.

"Okay, Cordy, okay…" Wes says, helping her to her feet.

"Wesley?" Xander is standing outside.

"Xander. Can you take Cordelia into the basement sitting room?" Wesley asks.

"Wes, I thought…" Xander starts, confused. "Is it really Cordy?"

"That's what I need you to find out," Wes replies.

"I'm right here and you guys are talking about me like I'm…" Cordelia starts.

"Xander. Get Cordy's story. You know ours. You probably know her well enough to get a good read," Wesley says, looking at Cordelia coolly.

"You trust this kid?" Gunn asks, nodding toward Xander.

"Yes, Charles. Xander is a part of this team. I'll be down in a little while, Xander."

Xander smiles at Cordelia and takes her arm.

"Do you want to handcuff me or something, Wes?" Cordelia asks, crying.

"I am sorry, Cordelia, that it has to be this way," Wes replies.

"It's okay, Cordelia. It'll all be cool as soon as we get everything settled. Okay?" Xander smiles at her, encouragingly.

"Oh, Xander, what's happened to you?" Cordelia asks, looking at his eyepatch.

"Your story first, Cordy." Xander leads her inside.

Wes turns to Gunn. "You're not exactly trusted, Gunn," Wes says quietly as they stand on the porch.

"Because of the white room job, I get it. What I don't get is why you trust me."

Wes hesitates. "I don't know, Gunn. Why don't you tell me why you called me?"

"Something's coming. I can feel it. We all can."

"What is it?" Wes asks, quietly.

"The Hellmouth in Sunnydale, it's closed. Buffy Summers sealed the west coast's major outlet for the supernatural. She plugged up the drain, Wes. Now all that activity, all that energy is just building up down there. It's about to break through. We're the weak spot, Wes. L.A." Gunn is serious.

"Everything cool out here?" Faith's voice interrupts them.

"You remember Gunn, Faith," Wes introduces.

"Yeah." Faith goes to Wes' side and instantly steadies him. He didn't realize that he was swaying.

"Is he okay?" Gunn asks Faith.

"Let's go inside," Wes says, leading them into the house.

"Wesley." Angel nods to Gunn. "We need…"

"Wait. Chill," Faith says suddenly. "We have some new players. Not everyone should be in this conversation," She says, glancing at Lindsey and Gunn.

"Lorne. Take Lindsey upstairs," Angel says. Wes tosses Lorne a handgun.

"Whoa. When did we start packing?" Gunn asks, startled.

"Shit's a little dangerous for people who don't live in transdimensional white rooms of evil," Fred replies, coldly.

"Fred. Can you take Gunn into the kitchen and make some coffee. It's going to be a long night," Wes sighs.

"Come on," Fred mutters, pulling Gunn from the room.

Wes, Faith and Angel are silent as they stand in the living room.

"Now that the hellmouth's closed, all the energies that used it as an outlet are trapped. It's about to break through and I'm told the weak spot is in L.A," Wes says, finally. He pours himself a glass of whiskey with shaking hands.

"Lindsey's getting the visions. He's been getting visions of an earthquake here that goes down in the middle of a thunderstorm. He says that it rains blood and the vampires and demons are dancing in the streets," Angel counters, pouring himself a drink.

"So. Angel's info is from a one-armed ex-lawyer with psychic powers. Where's your info from, Wes?" Faith asks.

"Gunn," Wes answers quietly.

"How does Gunn know that, Wes?" Angel asks, confused. "How does he know?"

Wes doesn't respond.

"Wesley?" Faith goes to his side. His eyes are glazed and he doesn't acknowledge her. She snaps her fingers and he flinches.

"Wes?"

"I'm here. Sorry. I trust Gunn, but we can't ignore that our information could be tainted. After Jasmine…can we really trust anybody's information?" Wes replies.

"What about Cordelia, Wes?" Angel asks, quietly.

"She remembers what happened, it seems. She's apologetic. Cried. She cried a lot. Xander's downstairs with her, getting the story," Wes whispers, sitting down.

The room is silent.

"Wes, are you bleeding?" Angel asks, suddenly.

"I don't think so," Wes replies, honestly, standing up.

"I smell blood and…" Angel glances at Faith.

Faith goes to Wes' side and pulls on his shirt, searching underneath for damage. She finds a bleeding gash in his side. "You stupid asshole…" She gasps, upset.

"What?" Angel joins Faith. "Damn, Wes, why didn't you say anything?"

"I didn't look…I was thinking about other shit…I didn't notice…"Wes replies, surprised.

"You're trying to tell me you didn't feel that…" Faith accuses.

"Faith. I don't think he's lying," Angel says, stopping Faith.

Wes takes a few steps away. "I'm getting worse. I've been trying to deal with it, but I'm getting worse…"

"It's okay, Wes…" Angel interrupts, seeing the stress his friend is under. Faith punches him, her brown eyes flashing with concern.

"I'm going to go get cleaned up and then check on Cordelia. She doesn't want to see you, yet…" Wes starts, turning around.

"Okay," Angel says, quietly.

"We need to prepare for anything, Angel. This could be the biggest thing we've seen in a while," Wes sighs.

"I'm getting that. We need to talk when you're not bleeding and you can actually process what I'm saying," Angel replies, giving Wes a warning look.

"Come on," Faith doesn't let Wes protest, pulling him upstairs to his bedroom.

"Faith."

"Shut up. I'm the boss right now. Get in the shower, Wes. You've got fifteen minutes or I'm coming in after you.

"Faith…"

"Now is not the time for the talking," Faith says. "I'm going to make some research calls and then you're going to start talking. Go on."

Wes doesn't argue, stepping into the bathroom with a change of clothes.

Faith flips open her phone and dials Buffy.

"Yeah?" Buffy answers.

"Hey, 'B. Anything weird going on out there?" Faith asks.

"Nope, it's blissfully quiet. What's up?"

"We've got a few rumblings out here. Possibly apocalyptic, but we don't know yet. Cordelia's awake," Faith says.

Buffy gasps. "Really? How's Angel? Is she evil because I don't think Angel could take that…"

"Wes thinks she might not be evil now. He put Xander on it," Faith replies.

"Wes put Xander on it? Wow…"

"What's that supposed to mean? Xander's perfect for the job, he's impartial, he knows Cordelia, he can pick out a lie…"

"I know, Faith. I was just thinking that Wes must really trust him. Faith, do you guys need us?" Buffy asks.

"Not yet. I'm going to call Willow and Giles and see if they've heard anything. I'll keep you posted," Faith promises.

"Sure. Tell Angel that I'm here if he needs to talk."

"Okay, 'B." Faith flips the phone closed.

"Faith," Wes calls, stepping out of the bathroom wearing a pair of faded jeans. His chest is criss-crossed with slashes. "Would you mind patching me up?"

"Sit down, Wes," Faith nods, taking the first aid kit from his trembling hands.

"I lost it in the alley, tonight, Faith," Wes says, quietly. "I thought I had everything under control and then one of them cut me. I lost it. I went numb, I couldn't feel anything…it was like I wasn't even there…when you snapped me out of it…"
"What can I do, Wes? How do I help you?" Faith asks, as she sits across from him on the bed, bandaging his bleeding wounds.

"I feel better now," Wes says.

"Liar," Faith replies.

Wes sighs and Faith sees the exhaustion in his eyes. "I'm still a little shaky, Faith, but I know where I am, I know what's going on." He stands up as Faith finishes. He pulls a shirt on. "Thank you, Faith."

"Wesley. You took care of me when I needed it. You didn't ask questions, you didn't push me, you were just there for whatever I needed. I consider you a friend. I haven't had many of those in my life, Wes and I refuse to believe that as a friend I'm supposed to sit back and let you self-destruct." Faith stands up and goes to stand in front of Wesley, forcing him to meet her eyes. "We're coming up on some heavy shit and I trust Angel…but I trust you more. I need you thinking clearly. Angel needs your input. You're in no shape, Wes…"

"Okay, Faith. I get it," Wes says.

"No, you don't. We need you, Wes. Will you let us take care of you?" Faith asks.

Wesley nods, slowly. "I've been to see some people about my problem."

"Yeah? What kind of people?"

"Doctors. Shamans. Sorcerers," Wes replies.

"Really? Wes, why haven't you said anything?" Faith asks, startled.

"There are risks involved, Faith. I've been looking into them. I thought…" Wes sighs. "I thought I could handle it. But I can't."

"Okay, that's better. Once we figure out what's going on around here, you'll talk to Angel about those options, right?" Faith asks.

"Yes, Faith. You're right. I'm being stubborn. I'm depending on you to keep me focused, Faith. If you see me drift off…"

"I'll take care of it, Wes." She hugs him. He returns her hug.

She reaches up and kisses him on the forehead. "Let's go see Cordelia."

Angel is waiting at the base of the stairs.

"Angel?"

"Lorne's downstairs with Xander. He wanted to read her," Angel says, quietly.

"Good idea. Right?" Faith asks, curious about Angel's mood.

"Can I talk to you, Wes?" Angel asks.

"I'll be back in a few minutes," Faith says, going to check on Lindsey.

"Cordelia," Angel whispers.

"She's back. How are you doing?" Wes asks, sitting down beside Angel on the stairs.

"I don't know. Is it really her?" Angel asks.

"I don't know. But when Gunn said that she was awake…I had to go get her," Wes replies.

"You didn't tell me," Angel states.

Wes is silent.

"You didn't think I could handle it?" Angel asks.

"No. I wanted to make sure it was true," Wes answers, honestly. "If someone wanted to get to you, Angel…it'd be through Cordelia."

Angel nods, slowly. "So you're not trying to protect me."

"What?" Wes asks, confused.

"You're not trying to keep me from bursting into tears like I did earlier."

"Angel, this…what was I supposed to do? You're our champion. The leader. And that woman downstairs turns you into pudding," Wes remarks.

Angel is silent. "Pudding?"

Wes starts to laugh.

"You think I'm pudding?" Angel smiles despite himself. Soon, he is laughing, too.

"Oh my god, they've both finally lost it," Gunn says, entering with Fred.

"All right, Wes. I get it. Come find me when you're finished down there," Angel says, recovering.

"Is everything okay?" Fred asks, concerned.

"Yeah. Wes and I…we had a moment. But it's over now. Gunn? Let's talk." Angel leads Gunn and Fred into the other room.

"Wesley?" Faith returns.

"Let's go see Cordelia."

Wes and Faith go into the basement.

"Wesley." Xander meets him outside the door to the sitting room.

"What is it?"

"I believe her," Xander says. "Something you said outside…she's scared of you…"

"I tried to scare her, Xander. I had to do something just in case…she was evil. She killed. We can't just accept her back without some precautions…" Wes sighs.

"I know, but I believe her," Xander replies, quietly.

"Tell me," Wes nods. He leads Xander and Faith over so he can sit on the base of the basement stairs. He absently lights a cigarette.

"Wesley? You don't smoke…" Faith gasps, startled.

"Just tell me the story," Wes replies, not meeting their eyes.

"She…she really thought she was doing the right thing. Having the baby, getting pregnant in the beginning, she really believed it was her destiny. She had ascended to a higher plane, she was like a goddess. She had a chance to return to earth and complete a task for the higher powers. She returned…for Angel," Xander hesitates. "She really loves him."

"Go on, Xander," Faith urges.

"She agreed to return and promised to do what was right, she thought was she was doing was the answer to everything."

"So she knew what she was doing," Faith states.

"Wait, Faith." Wes has his hand to his head. "We were the same way with Jasmine. We were going to kill Fred for her," Wes remarks.

"The whole stuff with Connor, she was still in general control, but after…the rain of fire, after the Beast showed up…she was under her child's control. Cordelia actually calls it her child. She killed a girl so her child could be born."

"Shit," Faith gasps.

Xander sighs. "So she's been in a coma. Until a few days ago."

"What?" Wes asks.

"Yeah, Wes. She's been awake for a couple of days," Xander admits.

"Go on, Xander," Wes says, his eyes closed as he inhales deeply from the cigarette.

"She woke up. She didn't know where she was but she knew that her child was gone. She knew what she had done. She knew that it was wrong…but she was scared. She's been awake for two days, lying there, pretending she was in a coma. She knows you came to visit her. Gunn came to her today, he knew somehow that she had woken up. He explained to her that she was at the law firm. He convinced her to let him call you," Xander finishes.

"Okay," Wes nods.

"Okay?" Faith asks. "All you can say is okay?"

"Wes?" Xander asks.

"You believe her," Wes states, holding his head again.

"Yeah, I do. Lorne read her. He believes her, too. She's…she's so sorry…I mean, she killed people…Cordelia…" Xander shakes his head, still disbelieving.

"I need to talk to her," Wes sighs.

"Wes, will you go easy on her?" Xander asks, quietly.

"Xander. If it's really true then she has nothing to fear." Wes steps into the room.

Lorne glances up, smiling slightly at Wes. He is seated on the small sofa with Cordelia, his arm around her. "Well, princess. I guess it's Wesley's turn. I'll be right upstairs, okay?"

Cordelia, her face still streaked with tears, nods sadly, curled up in the seat. Lorne hugs her and stands up to go.

"You okay, Wesley?" Lorne asks, stopping by him.

"Actually, Lorne, can you ask Faith to bring me the first aid kit from my room?" Wes whispers. "Headache."

"Okay. Xander told you…" Lorne begins.

"Yes, Lorne. It's okay," Wesley promises.

Lorne leaves and Wesley sits down in the chair across from Cordelia.

"Do you need anything? Coffee? Donuts?"

"Wesley. I'm sorry…I…I thought I was doing the right thing…it felt right…" Cordelia says, her voice hoarse from crying.

"Cordelia. Has anyone told you about Jasmine?" Wes asks, taking her hands and silencing her.

"Who's Jasmine?"

"That's what…that's what we called her. Your child…" Wesley begins. Cordelia gasps, paling. Wesley goes on to explain their 'love for Jasmine' and the way they were all under her control. She listens, stunned as he describes their descent into the sewers and Angel's journey to the alternate dimension to defeat her.

"Wesley…" Cordelia is stricken.

"We were all under her control. Even Angel. Fred was the first to see it, she saved us all. You were under her control, Cordelia," Wesley says, slowly.

"But I knew what I was doing, Wesley! I mean…I killed Lilah!" Cordelia says, upset. Faith has entered with Wes' first aid kit.

"Don't worry about Lilah," Faith snorts, going to Wes' side. "Death didn't keep her down."

"Faith," Wes scolds.

"What?" Cordelia asks, confused.

"You okay, Wesley?" Faith asks, handing him the bag.

"Headache," Wes replies, opening it and pulling out a bottle of prescription pills and popping several into his mouth.

"You two are awfully cuddly…" Cordelia sniffles.

"Cordelia. So you're not evil?" Faith questions, straightening up.

"What about you?" Cordelia snaps, defensive.

"Ladies. Enough. There's not a person among us that can claim innocence. Except maybe Xander," Wes sighs.

"You were all scary outside, Wes," Cordelia whispers.

"Because if you're lying, I'll kill you," Wesley replies, seriously. "But I don't think you're lying."

Faith nudges Wes. "Wesley."

"Hmm?" His eyes are glazed and he is staring past Cordelia.

"Come back to me. Come on," She says, shaking him. He blinks, refocusing.

"Wesley, what's wrong with you? Xander's only got one eye and you're all spacy…" Cordelia starts to panic.

"Cordy, things have changed… Angel…" Wes begins.

"Wes, please…don't make me see him…"

"Cordy. You have to see him. It's Angel. He'll understand. He needs you," Wesley says, squeezing her hands.

"You made him cry, Queen 'C'. You gotta talk to him," Faith agrees.

Cordelia takes a deep breath. "Okay."

"We'll find you some fresh clothes. You hungry?" Wes asks, allowing Faith to steady him.

"I've been eating through a tube, Wes. I'm starving," Cordelia smiles, sadly.

"Okay. I'll send Angel down. Everything will be fine. Okay?"

"Okay, Wes," Cordelia nods, steeling herself.

Faith walks out with Wes, a hand on the small of his back, steadying him.

"Get Angel for me," Wesley says.

"Not until you tell me what's wrong with you," Faith says, sensing something wrong.

"I'm just not feeling well…"

"Wesley."

"My head is killing me, Faith, that's all." Wes sighs. "It's not unusual. The pills will fix me up. Okay?" Faith nods and goes upstairs.

"Wesley?" Cordelia steps outside into the main room. "Before Angel comes…I heard what you said, back when you thought I was still in the coma. Gunn told me…you came every day?"

Wes sighs. "Cordelia…"

"It means a lot to me, Wes," Cordelia says, quietly. "I'm sorry…"

"I know." Wes glances up and sees Angel standing at the top of the stairs. "We were useless without you."

"It's true," Angel says, now standing behind Wes, cautious.

"Our fashion sense has just crumbled," Wes confides.

"Wes tried to wear a pink shirt," Angel nods, his face blank.

"Salmon, the label said salmon," Wes protests.

"It was pink, Cordy," Angel winks.

A smile flashes on Cordy's face for an instant before her eyes fill with tears.

"I even tried to go shopping with Fred…" Wes sighs, dramatically.

"Stop it…" Cordy laughs, crying as they try to cheer her up. "Just stop…"

Angel glances at Wes, raising his eyebrows. Wesley nods. Angel lets himself believe that it is really Cordelia. He embraces her.

"Oh god…I've missed you so much…" He sobs. She cries into his chest.