My first fanfic EVER. Be gentle, treat right and REVIEW. Slight f/f slash. Lily's POV. ANGSTY. PS. tell me if you find any solecism, spelling etc. mistakes.

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Making them suffer

There has always been an odd fascination about making them suffer. James Potter's offensed face when I laugh at his silly attempts to hit on me. Severus Snape's uncertain eyes when I' m scolding him in the front of everyone, and then, late in the night, I come in to his room and make it up to him.

So in love with me

Petunia. That stupid muggle I could strangle. So jealous over our parents' pride for me. Suits her right. That slut. When I see her pained face from my mother's arms or from my father's embrace, I would smile.

So beautiful child

He tried it again today. Came from behind and wrapped his arms around me. Whispered with that voice I hate: "Please Lils, just one date. One date with me and I'll enchant you with my charming beauty." I slapped him across his left cheek. Watched his glasses tumble off. I smile. Just making you suffer, James.

Just making you suffer. James Petunia Severus

..Zarita

Zarita. One word. One tissue of perplexed letters on a paper. A name, a year. A hyphen and another year. Dated fourteen years, eight months, twelve days and 2:12 after your birth.

Suffering

I pushed you over that fragile parapet that kept you from falling. Only God knows I didn't do that on purpose. The train came --a swoosh--- and it had taken you with itself.

I remember you clearly. Thin, small, serious. Grey granite eyes and red dyed hair. Cutted short. You liked to dress up like a boy. I remember it. Clearly. When I first saw you wearing a suit at the school party. In that summer school we went a year before you... left.

I laughed at you. You kissed me.

I loved you

We were watching trains. I was talking about something stupid... you faced me with a serious expression. That autum there was slightly black in your fringe. You stroked it out of your eyes. I remember thinking myself:

This is the person I want to spend eternity with

I kissed you. You leaned to the parapet.

youfelliwatchedswooshthetrainwasearlyyouleftleftmebehindyouforeverijustfeltl ikedyingmyselfohpleaseletmewakeupfromthisnightmareilovedyousomuchiloveyousti lldontletgo

For her I'm making them suffer. To ease my guilt and my pain. I could never love them like I loved you. I could never save them. From the sweet pain known by name love.

Just making them feel pain. Just making them suffer. Just making them suffer...

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