Title: Four Two Two
Rating: PG-13 (entirely precautionary)
Summary: Formerly "I Get Around". Travelling three thousand miles doesn't get rid of one's ghosts. Jess is merely starting his life in Venice, CA, yet can he let go of what he left in Stars Hollow? My take on Jess's life in Venice, an oft-done take, I know, but please do R&R!
Disclaimer: Jess, Jimmy, Sasha and Lily all belong to DPDH and ASP, I (unfortunately) own none of the above. Same goes for the chunks of dialogue and scenes that I still habitually rip right out from the show. But other than that, the story and other new characters are all, thankfully, mine.
Author's note: I don't know about y'all out there, but 'Gilmore Girls' took a horrible turn for me personally when Jess was to leave for Venice. Season 3 Jess was a completely different person, if you ask me, from Season 2 Jess. The Jess that you'll read here is based more on his character in Season 2 than in 3, when Asshole!Jess made his first appearances.
That said, I've thus also taken liberties with whatever was presented on the show (hey, if they don't care about continuity, I'm not gonna bother either. ;0) ). Lily may've appeared like a teeny little girl, but I'm writing her as a ten-year-old here. The characters of Jimmy, Sasha and Lily may not seem in character too; but then again, the above trio only appeared in less than two episodes, so I'm extrapolating their characters as I see fit.
Finally, I do realise that fics about Jess's life in Venice are hardly gonna be highly original, seeing as the community of Literati-lovers out there isn't exactly insignificant, but I decided to continue with writing this fic anyway, mainly 'cuz I myself need the resolution. ;0) The direction that this fic is gonna take was one that I had in mind ever since the circumstances under which Jess leaves Stars Hollow came to light, which I felt was a complete departure from the established character of Jess. So basically, this is gonna be like a wish-fulfilment fic for me… But then again, isn't that what fics are for? ;0)
This will likely turn out to be a longer fic than whatever else I've written, but I'll likely not have too much time to update, so please do bear with me… And any comments or criticisms that you wish to make are more than welcome! Enjoy! (hopefully…)
* * *
"How you gonna work, huh? How you gonna eat? How you gonna pay rent? What are you gonna do, Jess?"
"Jeez, I don't know, maybe I'll work in a diner."
* * *
"Jess? Everything okay?"
Jess Mariano snapped back to reality, dazedly blinking in the glare of the Californian sun. Jimmy Mariano—his father, the man he'd never known his whole life—stood before him, a look of hesitant concern on his face. The sun reflected sharply off the blindingly bright structure that stood behind Jimmy—The Inferno, the revived hot dog stand that was Jimmy's current pride and joy. Not that Jess was getting to know much about the dinky little orange stand or anything; his physical being was here in Southern California, but his mind had suddenly drifted three thousand miles out east.
It took him another second before his mind shook off the haze of the reminiscence, before he finally replied, "Yeah, everything's fine."
Jimmy stood awkwardly before the teenaged boy, unsure of himself now that he was not safe behind the counter of the stand. In a nervous habit, he shoved his hands into his jeans pockets, shoulders hunching forward, rocking ever so slightly on the balls of his feet.
Jess blinked again, unnerved by the sudden feeling as though he were watching himself from outside his own body. If anyone from his New York or Stars Hollow life had been present, they would have commented on the similarities between father and son right then.
"So… First time on the West Coast?" Jimmy asked.
"First time on the West Coast."
The conversation was awkward. Small talk wasn't exactly Jess's forte; put him together with the man from whom he had evidently inherited that trait, and witticisms weren't exactly about to be traded. The small voice that kept nagging at the back of his mind certainly did not help matters.
A hot dog stand… That's his life here, Mariano. What're you getting yourself into? What're you going to end up doing here? You don't even know if you can stay, damn it. What's gonna happen then?
The torturous exchange finally came to a merciful end when Jimmy's employee, Lee, called out to him. "Jimmy, I got the pickle guy. He's as worried about you as I am."
The relief was palpable in Jimmy's face. "I should take this."
Jess was hardly surprised at what he saw. "Go ahead. I can just hang out."
"You sure?"
"I got my book, I'm good."
"Okay, you're good."
Jimmy returned his attention to the stand, taking the phone from Lee, the transition clear as day as he slipped back into his element. Lee squeezed past him in the narrow space behind the counter, seamlessly picking up from where they had left off before in preparing the stand for its grand opening.
Guess you could call him his Caesar, the observation came to Jess before he could stop himself from drifting back there again. Damn it, Mariano, forget that place. You're never going back anyhow.
But then what happens if you can't stay here? Once again, that voice of logic which Jess himself barely knew he possessed had its say.
Truth be told, what he'd seen in his hours in Southern California were unnerving him. It harked back to a time when he hadn't cared what the future held for himself, and it had been another who carried the concerns that the nagging voice now reminded him of.
Jess was undoubtedly his father's son, even if the two men had never truly met until days ago. The physical traits were there; the inborn habits were there; even Jess could recognise that much of who he was today clearly had not been cultivated in his environment, but inherited from Jimmy Mariano.
So what does all that mean for me? For my future?
The thought of continuing Jimmy's business, this tacky gimmick stand with it's jarring orange and cheesy mascot—it was nowhere near what he had envisioned for himself in the future, even if he'd never truly given his future much thought. Jess Mariano—hot dog stand owner?
No way. There's no way in hell going to be what I'll do, the inner voice piped in again.
At this point, Jess had to concur.
So… now what do I do?
* * *
"I didn't know how it was gonna go, okay? I didn't know if he was even gonna be there or if he was gonna wanna talk to me or slug me or—"
The shouting voices carried on. It was clear that this latest revelation was going to be quite the bump in their relationship.
"Get the extra mattress out of the closet."
"What for?"
"For Jess."
"For Jess to do what?"
"For Jess to sleep on."
"Jess is sleeping here?"
"Isn't he?"
"I don't know."
"Jimmy, you didn't ask him if he's staying the night?"
"No."
"Well, did you ask him how long he's here for?"
"No."
"Did you ask him anything?"
"Should I have?"
And the cause of this bump was suddenly feeling so much better about himself right then.
* * *
Jess had heard everything. Well, not heard in the conventional sense of actually having had the sound travel to his ears, but he hadn't lived his whole life in the pages of books without honing that perceptive imagination. He may never know what went down in that conversation word for word, but even as he walked out of the door, he could already sense the direction that things were going to take. So where do I go from here?
He wandered the boardwalk aimlessly, letting the bustling chatter of Venice Beach pass by him, immersed in his own thoughts. Already he was pondering his options, counting the amount of money he had left, how long that stash would last him, how far he could go before he'd have to stop and find a place to settle and earn a temporary living. He ran through the list of possible places that he might go to, but every single one of those places was full of strangers, not a single soul living there known to him. He'd have to find a place to live, get a job, pay the rent, find his own feet in a city that would be completely alien to him…
A wave of futility crashed over him even as he strode on in the street, his legs taking him along the sidewalk even as his mind was beginning to panic. How would he go about doing this? Would his money last? What would happen if it didn't? Could he do this?
Unless I take the other option… Once again, that voice in the back of his head somehow made itself heard loud and clear.
No way. There's no way in hell that's happening. I didn't travel three thousand miles by freaking stinky bus just to do what I could have done back there. There's no way in hell I'm going to do something when I gave up everything to avoid doing it. There's no way in hell I'm doing it now. Not after all that I've lost…
A skating teen suddenly swerved into his path, causing him to jump aside as they narrowly avoided collision. Shaken, Jess looked around him, realising he'd drifted quite far from the house already. Turning around to take in his surroundings, he noticed a bookstore that he'd passed by. Recalling his words to Jimmy before he'd left, he strolled towards it, hoping to find something worthwhile.
The bookstore wasn't anything special, an average selection with books he'd either read years ago, or which he'd never be caught dead reading. Running his thumb past the spines on a shelf, he stopped when he came to Hemingway's A Farewell To Arms. Absentmindedly, he started thumbing through the pages, easily finding the passages which he'd always remained fond of. As his conscious mind felt the embrace of those familiarly comforting words, unawares, the little voice that had long been trying to make its stand began to drift away, exploring the possibilities that lay behind the option that Jess himself has so stubbornly shut out.
* * *
A/N: That's it for now… So, please do drop your comments! They'd be much appreciated… :0)
