Sorry it's taken me so long to write, but had to finish the No Fishing Chapters and then things got kinda hectic, and I didn't have any time, blah, blah, blah, my brain then decided it didn't want to play, so 1000 apologies. Thank you for your patience though, and I promise I won't be as long next time.
Just a quick warning, this chap is a bit angsty, so don't say I never warned ya!
Spoilers: Season 2 onwards
Rating: Who knows, let's just say it's not an R.
Stargate: The characters and show do not belong to me, I'm just torturing them for a little wile, but I promise to give them back.
End Chapter 16Jack held his breath, Sam looked as if she was about to say something; he felt his heart catch in his throat. Clenching his fists in anticipation, his thoughts and feelings kept coming thick and fast. "Cmon Carter, come back to me."
As her mind began to clear, the image of the evil slowly disappeared to reveal a very worried Colonel Jack O'Neil, she wasn't sure if this image was real, or just another hallucination. She had to take the risk though, if only to try and regain some sanity. Cautiously she whispered, "Sir?"
Jack, letting out the breath he hadn't realised he was holding, smiled. Never in his life had he been grateful to hear that one little word. Matching her whisper, he moved closer to her, "Yeah Sam, it's me!"
Crawling out of her corner, she shakily took hold of the hand Jack had offered, and grabbed onto it as if her life depended on it, "He was real, he was really there." Seeing the complete recognition in her eyes he moved even closer, and consumed her with a hug, and held onto her like a lifeline, his own body shaking with relief at having her come back. They continued to rock in each others arms, Jacks arms wrapped around her body, his hand moving around the back of her head holding it gently, his other hand moving in a circular motion on her back, trying to ease some of the heartfelt sobs that came from his 2IC, the women he secretly loved. Softly murmuring to her, "You're okay, I got you. I promise he won't ever hurt you again. I got you Sam…I got you."
Chapter 17 - ConfrontationJack held her in his arms until he felt her relax. His shirt wet from the tears that fell relentlessly from her eyes. He felt her try and steady her breathing until she was reasonably calm again, neither of them willing to let the other go.
Jack felt her breaths becoming steadier as she seemed to gain control of what ever it was that had taken her over. When he felt that she was ready once more, he ever so gently pulled himself away from her. Keeping his hands firmly on her shoulders, he looked longingly into her once clear blue eyes, which were now heavy set with silent tears. Her eyes that once were filled with curiosity and faith now revealed a trauma that no one should have to go through.
"Sam, look…I know you probably don't feel like talking right now, but we need to. I need to know what happened in there."
Sam took a shaky breath, she really didn't know what to say. Did she say that the torture had been so bad, that all she wanted to do was push it to the furthest corner of her mind, and never speak of it again? Did she tell him how long she had held out in the hope that he would come back for her, but never did. Everything was still mixed up, she was angry, not only at him, but at herself for feeling like this. Hurt and confused, she needed to put some space between herself and CO. She tried to shake his arms off her shoulder, but he wasn't budging.
"Sam, don't pull away from me, we *have* to talk about this." Jack urged her.
Sam raised her hands to her face, wiping the last remnants of tears from her eyes, her head fell lightly into her open palms, she didn't even think she could look at him.
"Colonel… please." Sam asked, her begging for some time to come to terms with it herself. "I can't…" She answered pulling herself further away from him.
"Carter, look I know what you must have gone through..." Jack started.
Sam looked up at him incredulously, her eyes revealing something Jack had never seen in Sam before, a darkness that burned in her eyes. Raising her arm, she took his hand off her shoulder, and stood up quickly, not giving him a second chance to keep her there. Not knowing how to come to terms with this, or how to stop the anger building up, she saw the pained look in his face as she moved away from him.
Jack gave her a moment then promptly followed her. Seeing her like this unsettled him. Watching her carefully, she seemed jittery and uncoordinated as she paced their confined space. Hesitantly he placed a hand on her shoulder.
Recoiling from his touch once more, she moved in the opposite direction. Then feeling as if enough space had come between her and the Colonel she turned around. Anger and sadness etched clearly in her face.
"Sam." Jack said softly, hoping that one word would convey a thousand meanings.
Suddenly and inexplicably she tore into him, "With all due respects, Sir, you don't have a clue what I went through."
It hit him, like a lightning bolt, he didn't understand why she was acting like this towards him, but he knew she was hurting. Remembering what it was like when he had been tortured in the Iraqi prison, he'd heard of people being brainwashed, but had never seen it first hand. Whatever happened between her an Amemait, he had to get to the bottom of it fast, before it destroyed Sam, and their friendship.
Thinking that the best course of action was to take out the personal aspect of this discussion, he needed her to think rationally about this. "Major, listen to me. I *do* understand what you went through… to some degree. I'm not saying I understand all of it, but what I do know is that you need to tell me what happened."
Anger was now completely taking over from her, her hands visibly shook, she desperately needed to keep her distance from him, in case she hurt him. A voice inside her told her she was being unreasonable, but something kept driving on the animosity and all of it was now directed at him.
"You want to know what happened? Do you?" She questioned angrily now fully facing him. Sam crossed her arms defensively against her chest.
Jack really didn't want to know what happened to her, he was already feeling guilty enough that he allowed this to happen, but as her CO and as her friend, it was something that they had to talk about. He took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly. Looking deep into her eyes, hoping in some way to show her that he cared for her, he replied a simple "Yes."
Slowly she walked up to him, and looking directly in his eyes, she said, "He tortured me, slowly. He enjoyed every single minute of it. *Then*, he decided to play with my mind for a little bit, just to see how far he could push me." Jack kept silent, he had never heard such intensity in her voice before. Instead of getting louder as he had anticipated, her voice became dark and cold as she continued. "He then inserted metal spokes into my head, and injected me with god knows what. After that he carried on torturing me with his little devices, whilst I screamed." Sam told him, without showing a hint of emotion.
Trying to contain his rising emotions, as they threatened to bubble to the surface, he could handle her losing 'it', but Sam had taken on a dangerous tone in her voice, and he didn't like it one bit, but as her CO he needed her to explain further.
"Did Amemait…" Jack hesitated briefly afraid of what the answer might be. Needing to know though he continued seeing the darkness in Sam's eyes slowly consuming her. "Did he…touch you?" Jack finally asked, sadness clearly evident as he spoke the last words.
"No!" Sam answered simply. Unconsciously Jack released the breath he had been holding.
"Okay. You said he injected you with something, do you know what it was? What it was supposed to do?"
"What the hell does it matter anyway...Sir." Sam shouted.
Wearily Jack sat himself on the floor, this was not going as well as he hoped. He wasn't good with feelings, Daniel was better suited at handling this than he was, but he hadn't seen him for a while, and wondered if he ever would.
Daniel watched over his two friends during the last few minutes of their discussion. Torn between his own destiny and the desire to stop a friendship being torn apart. He knew that he was damned if he did and damned if he didn't. Oma Desala had already warned him of the consequences of interfering, and Daniel felt as if he was being torn in two.
Knowing that his friends needed his help, he did the only thing he could; help them, at least as much as he could.
Jack looked up in time to see Daniel materialize in front of them. Thankfully that someone, somewhere was at least looking out for them.
"Daniel."
"Jack." Daniel answered nodding in Jack's direction then preceded to walk towards Sam, thinking, "Okay, here goes nothing."
Sam was so lost in her own thoughts didn't even acknowledge Daniel's arrival, her mind was filling with black images, and hatred. She felt as if she was going out of her mind. Her hands shook with nervous energy, and she suddenly had the overwhelming sense of claustrophobia. Feeling a hand on her back she turned around quickly, raising a fist to punch the person who touched her.
Daniel finally got a good look at his friend, and it rocked him to the core. Seeing her like this brought back all the brotherly instincts within him, and he would've done anything to stop her going through this. As she raised her hand, Daniel blocked the punch defensively. Shock, came through on Sam's strained features, seeing him stood here with her threw her off balance. For a moment she looked intensely in his eyes, the anger that had been building within her, dissipated briefly as she saw his concern.
"Daniel! W…w…what are you doing here?" Sam asked shakily letting her fist drop to her side.
"I've come to help you. Well, as much as I'm able." He replied softly, not removing his gaze in fear that she would retreat further from them.
Jack got up from where he was sitting, and cautiously moved towards them. "Carter, look if you won't talk to me, then talk to Daniel."
Sam's face suddenly creased with distress, her eyes became wider, as she heard the words from her friends. Emotions that she never knew she had, threatened to overwhelm her. She didn't know what to think or feel, deep inside she knew she needed their help to cope with everything that happened, but she'd lost her faith in them. To her they had let her down, by leaving her alone with Amemait. He'd tortured her to a point where she would have said anything for him to stop. Looking first at Daniel, then let her gaze settle on Jack. She remembered screaming for him over and over again…but he never came. It was at that point she felt that she couldn't rely on him. Knowing somewhere deep inside she knew those feelings were irrational, but she couldn't help herself feeling this rage. Sam didn't know if it was a culmination of events or it had to do with the toxins currently flowing coarsely through her veins, but whatever was happening inside of her, she knew it was the reason she was acting like this.
As soon as she opened her mouth to speak, she instantly regretted saying the words. Unable to contain her emotions any longer, she felt as if someone else had taken over her. Speaking with such hatred she said, "Help! You want to help me?" She asked heatedly looking from one to the other. "Don't you think it's a bit late for that?"
Daniel and Jack both looked at each other, neither of them knew what she was talking about.
Jack approached her and went to place his arm on her forearm, but she backed away suddenly, "Sam, we want to help you, but your making it so difficult for us." His eyes fixated on her whole body language as she paced recklessly back and forth, pushing herself further and further into a corner. "What do you mean that it's too late?"
"What do I mean...what do I mean?" Sam repeated for effect. "I'll tell you what I mean!" Sam shouted and turned directly to face Daniel her eyes brimming with anger and sadness; bloodshot from the strain of crying earlier. Her eyes reflecting all the raw emotions that steadily consumed her. Dark circles evidently apparent from the lack of rest her body desperately craved.
"You, you call me your friend, but where were you when I needed you? I'll tell you shall I? As always, you go running off somewhere to hide."
Daniel felt as if he had been kicked in the stomach, thoughts rushed to the surface as he thought 'did she really think of that of me'.
Jack, not liking where this was headed shot her a warning look. Taking on the tone of her CO as apposed to her friend, his voice indicated for her to stop before she said something that she'd later regret. "Major! That's enough."
Sam completely ignored her CO's command and continued angrily, her body shaking with excess adrenaline, "And *you*! What happened to the '*I* won't leave anyone behind' motto. *That* kinda went out the window quickly enough when it suited you, didn't it?"
"Carter! I said *that's* enough." Jack countered angrily. This wasn't getting them anywhere. Sam was in too much of a fragile state to continue this conversation. After Jack warned her that she'd gone to far, he noted that she had retreated as far away from them as she could possibly get. This whole mess needed to be sorted, but now wasn't that time.
Trembling slightly, Sam gently sat down in the darkest corner of the room, pulling her knees up in an effort to shield herself from the others. Lowering her head slightly, she sobbed quietly. The dimness of the room allowed her to find some solitude as she tried to bring back some perspective. She felt physically sick, her heart raced from the recent confrontation, and she could feel her face flushed with the beginnings of a fever; presumably from the injections Amemait had given her earlier. All she wanted to do was to fall asleep and never wake up. Weariness had now taken its toll, and looking over to where Jack and Daniel stood, she saw that she had hurt them deeply. Their faces reflected disbelief at her words. At this moment though, she didn't care that she had hurt them, her rationale appeared to have been obliterated by the drugs in her system as she tried to console herself with the fact that they had hurt her, by leaving her alone in Amemait's clutches. Laying her head on her knees, she closed her eyes, hoping that her mind would take her away from this nightmare.
Jack placed an arm around Daniel's shoulders and led him to the opposite corner of the room from Sam. Jack slid down the sides of their confinement, Daniel followed suit. Silently contemplating what the next step should be, and how they could help Sam come out of the dark void that she had unconsciously placed herself in.
"She will be okay, Jack. I think she just needs a little space."
"Look at her Daniel, do you really think everything's going to be okay?" Jack replied softly, not taking his eyes off carters still form in the corner of the room.
"What happened?" Daniel asked inquisitively.
Taking a deep breath, Jack exhaled slowly. The temperature of the room had begun to drop considerably, and he shivered involuntarily. "We got captured, I died, Sam got tortured by some overzealous Goa'uld, and here we are."
"Whoa, whoa, you died?"
"Yeah, look good for a dead man don't I!" Jack replied simply.
Ignoring his friends wit for the moment he asked, "Who was the Goa'uld?"
"I don't know some worm called 'I'm a mate,'" Jack said dismissively.
Daniel's brow frowned, as he tried to think of a Goa'uld called 'Imamate'. "Are you sure he was called 'Imamate'?"
"I don't know Daniel, I wasn't exactly paying attention, especially after he started pawing at Sam." Jack said annoyed at why his friend was so fixated on this.
Daniel remained silent for the next few moments trying desperately to think of Goa'uld that resembled the name Jack had given. Finally a flash of inspiration hit him and he said, "Do you mean Amemait?"
"Yeah, I suppose. Who is he anyway?"
"In ancient Egypt, Amemait was known as the 'devourer'…"
"Oh, that's just lovely, not only does he want to torture us, but he wants to eat us as well. Ew, how disgusting is that!" Jack replied making a face.
Ignoring the look on his friend, Daniel continued, "She was also called 'She who destroys the wicked', it was her function to devour the hearts of the dead who did not past the test of Judgement and thus destroys totally the soul of the dead."
"Daniel, I don't mean to be a pessimist, but your not exactly helping here. Besides it wasn't a she it was a he."
"Sorry." He replied slightly apologetic. "It doesn't really matter what sex he/she is now, the fact that the 'Devourer' is here could cause some serious problems for you and Sam.
"Ya know Daniel, you really have a knack for stating the obvious."
Daniel gave him a look that said 'Jack, don't be an ass!' "What I mean is that in simplistic terms, this Goa'uld decides who goes to heaven and who goes to hell."
"Yeah, well, let me tell you this. If I'm gonna go to hell, I'll be taking him with me, that's for sure. Well, at least you're here to help."
Daniel looked at him, he knew he had to tell him sooner or later, he just wished it was later…much later. "Um…Jack, there's something I've got to tell you."
Jack knew what was coming, but hearing it didn't make it any easier. "I can't help you Jack, not in the way that you think anyway."
"Why not?"
"Just before I came here, I was warned not to interfere. If I help you and Sam, then I could be 'thrown out'…for want of a better phrase."
"So, what are you saying Daniel? You're gonna stay in a 'club' rather than help your friends?"
"No. What I'm saying is, is that if I help you, I'll be taken away from you and Sam. They'll take away my memory, so I wouldn't be any good to you."
"So, disobey them, it's not like you've never disobeyed an order before."
Daniel allowed himself to smile slightly at Jack's reference. "This is different Jack. I'll do what I can, but I can't interfere…I'm sorry" Daniel replied softly. "For the moment though we need to help Sam, you're going to need her on your side if you're going to get out of this."
Jack leant back against the wall and sighed, this really wasn't a very good day at all. Deep inside, he knew Daniel was right, and his priority at the moment was getting Carter back on track.
Feeling like this wasn't the time for keeping silent, he couldn't do this on his own. "I really don't know what to do Daniel. One minute she was fine, then the next minute she was…well you saw what she was like."
Daniel hated seeing his friend hurting like this, he knew how much he cared for Sam, and to have her accuse Jack of those things, wasn't something that Sam would normally say. "Okay, let's think rationally about this. Tell me everything about what happened after you were both captured, and I don't mean the cliff notes version."
So for the next 10 minutes Jack told him exactly what had happened, making sure that he didn't leave out any details. Jack suddenly got to the part where he had been in the cell hearing Sam screaming his name. Daniel kept silent when he heard how Jack had no control of the situation and that his actions had resulted in Sam being alone with her captor. He really felt for his friend, and the difficulty of re-living it. Jack's voice quivered slightly at the effort.
"Jack!" Daniel said suddenly, "That's it. That's the reason, well at least part of it." Jack looked at Daniel with a strange expression on his face, not fully understanding what his friend was referring to. "When you tried to intervene with Amemait, your chosen actions caused you to get killed, which then in turn left Sam alone."
"I know that Daniel, I just said that didn't I."
"Jack, Sam thinks you abandoned her. We don't know what sort of stuff he was pumping into her, but I bet my life on it that he twisted her thoughts and feelings. The reason Sam is so hostile is that I think somewhere deep inside she's not 100 percent sure if this is real or not. If you think about it, she's been through a hell of a lot these last few days. She was already confused before you two were captured. Coupled that with the drugs in her system makes for a very bad combination."
Jack listened intently to what Daniel was saying, it did make sense, but for the life of him, he couldn't think if a way to prove to her that this was real, and that they were here to help.
"So what do we do? I don't think it'll be long before Amemait comes back, and if he takes Carter again, I don't know if she'll live through it."
"First off, you need to get some rest. You're exhausted, and you won't be any good to anyone if you're too tired to function. Just hold on for a little while longer. I promise I won't let you down." Daniel replied sincerely.
Just before Daniel disappeared from existence once more, Jack said softly, "Daniel!"
"Yeah."
"Thanks."
Smiling softly at his friend, he nodded, then left his friends behind.
End Chapter 17
Hoorah, finally finished the next chapter, so what did you think, answers on a postcard please, or if you're feeling like a techno genius, post a review.
