Sorry it's taken me so long to post, but from the length of this, you might
get the general idea of why.
You know I said that the last chapter was the Penultimate, well, ahem, this is the "*penultimate penultimate*" It's a new word that has been created for us writers who don't know when to stop! :O)
What can I say, you should know me by know. I was (honestly) going to make this the last chapter, but it took me so long, and I kinda didn't want to leave it with unanswered questions, so there will be one more after this. *feeling quite sheepish now *
Anyway, once more, those who need to pee..GO NOW!
Stargate: it doesn't belong to me, I'm just taking them on an extremely long adventure.
Rating PG13
Spoilers: From Season 2 onwards, but none in this.
End of Chapter 20 - Retribution
Sam was abnormally quiet throughout the trip back, Jacob with a lot of concentrated effort had managed to heal the majority of injuries Sam had inflicted on Jack. Within a few minutes of Jacob healing him, he opened his eyes and instantly realised that he wasn't on the mother ship anymore.
Jack's eyes searched for her, but couldn't see as Jacob was directly in his vision.
"Jacob.Sam, is she." Jack asked hesitantly his voice indicating none of the strength that he was known for.
Jacob patted his hand on his shoulder, and said softly, "We got her back as well Jack."
"Where is she, Jacob."
Moving out of his vision, he finally saw her, and it hurt him deeply to see that she was in the furthest corner of the room, not even looking at anyone, her face showed a look of deep regret and loss. Feeling nothing but sorrow for his 2IC, he called out to her.
"Sam."
Sam looked up to see that the Colonel was awake, and she knew that he would be okay, but inside she didn't feel that she would be. Unable to look at him, she turned her face away and placed her head on her bent knees. She couldn't think or feel anymore, and all the pain that she had caused him filtered through her brain. Never in her life had she felt so lost and alone.
Chapter 21 - Regrets
Jack saw the disparity in his 2IC eyes; she could barely look at him. A soul so haunted looked fleetingly back at him. Sadness filled Colonel Jack O'Neill, and he turned his head back towards Jacob. Disbelief showed clearly in Jacob's expression as he observed how his usually lively daughter, sat in solitude. Her body language spoke volumes to him as Sam's head rested gently against her pulled up knees in an attempt to shield herself from further harm.
"Jacob?" Jack asked tentatively.
"I know Jack." Jacob didn't feel the need to add anything at this point, both men feeling pain at the young women's need to cut herself off.
Struggling to sit up, Jacob held his arm out to his daughter's CO, "Take it easy Jack."
"I will Jacob, but I need to talk to her, tell her it's okay." Jack continued. "Jacob, you need to use that healing thing on her to. I don't know what sort of drugs that slimy good f'nothing put into her, but she's hurting."
"I know Jack, but at the moment she needs some space. I don't think she's ready to talk to you just yet. For now though why don't you take Jonas into the cock pit, we can't be very far from the Stargate now."
"Is that your attempt at being subtle Jacob?" Jack enquired knowing full well his presence with Sam, might not be helping her.
"Not working?" Jacob asked.
"No!"
"Sorry, it's the best I can do" Jacob finished. Watching Jack's face he knew that this was just as difficult for him as it was for Sam.
Glancing over one last time at his 2IC he motioned for Jonas to follow. Leaving Sam and her Dad alone, Jack hoped it would help, but he wasn't so sure.
Slowly walking over to his daughter, Jacob carefully knelt beside her placing his hand on top of her shoulder. Unexpectedly her eyes opened widely; filled with fear and apprehension of what would take place once they got through the gate.
"Sam honey, I'm sorry I didn't mean to startle you. How are you doing?"
Sam saw the concern in her dad's face, but she didn't know what to tell him. Her dad wasn't the sort of person who would worry needlessly, but what she saw before her was definite concern in his eyes. The mind control that Amemait had used was slowly receding towards the back of her mind, and she hoped it would allow her to regain some of the control she had lost. There were still so many gaps in her memory, but she didn't know for sure if she would ever get them back again; and that scared her.
A lingering doubt still existed as to what was real and what was a hallucination. For a fleeting moment she found herself becoming paranoid once more. Looking past her father, she couldn't see him, and her eyes scanned the room longingly searching for his familiar face. Panic began to set in as she couldn't think of where he had gone, with her thoughts in turmoil, for a fleeting moment she felt as if the was once again a figment of her imagination.
Rising quickly, she felt her heart quicken at the thought of him not being there. Seeing the fear in her eyes, Jacob couldn't understand what was going through her mind until her eyes darted back and forth across the room.
"It's okay Sam." Knowing who she was looking for. "He's with Daniel, Teal'c and Jonas."
Searching for a hint of truthfulness in his voice, she asked "Your sure?"
"Yeah Sam, I'm sure. Why not come and see for yourself?" Jacob hoped it would help get her mind sorted to some degree. He knew that Jack cared very much for his daughter, and he also knew Sam well enough to know that those feelings were reciprocated. It hurt him to see his daughter so troubled, and he also knew the only way she would be able to come to terms with everything that had happened was for her to let Jack know what she was thinking and feeling.
Taking Sam by the arm he attempted to lead her to him, but she refused, instead retreating to the corner where she had first sat. Sighing slightly Jacob backed off. One thing was for sure; he wouldn't push her into anything she couldn't handle.
"Okay, Sam. Why don't you just rest here for a while, and I'll go check on the others."
As Jacob left the room, Sam didn't even acknowledge his leaving. The temptation to curl up into a little ball away from anything and everyone continued to resurface as thoughts mulled around her head. Trying desperately to recall how this all came about, she blamed herself for everything that had happened. If she had just spoken to Jack when she'd had that strange feeling about Jaret, then maybe all this might not have happened. Bringing herself back to the present she wondered if things would or could ever be the same again.
In the control room, Jack and Jacob stood to one side leaving Daniel Teal'c and Jonas towards the front. They had been fortunate so far, in the fact that no death gliders had descended down from the mother ship. Scanning the distance Teal'c noted the Stargate towards the south and proceeded towards its vicinity.
"O'Neill, we are nearing the Stargate, we should be landing in a few moments."
Jack nodded in response, then turning back to Jacob he asked. "So where do we go from here? She could barely look at me before. You know me Jacob; I've never been good with feelings and stuff. I just don't know where to start with her.do you?"
"Jack, it's going to take time, and your just going to have to learn patience until she's ready to talk with you."
Jack pulled a face, "Jacob, those two words really shouldn't go in the same sentence when you're talking about me."
Jacob allowed himself a small smile. "Sorry Jack, I forgot."
"So, shall I go and get her?"
"No, I'll get her. I want you to take it easy, at least until Doctor Frasier checks you out."
"I'm fine Jacob, stop clucking like a mother hen."
"Jack, I'm serious. Don't make me pull rank on you." Jacob retorted firmly ensuring that there was no room for argument.
Jack sauntered off towards Daniel, Teal'c and Jonas muttering to himself about how even when General's are retired, they still make you feel like you have to obey them.
As soon as they landed Teal'c, Daniel and Jonas proceeded to check out the parameters of the ship before they allowed Sam to leave the craft, and found SG3 bordering the premises. Teal'c asked them to radio General Hammond to advise him of their status, and to have a medical team standing by.
Once they were given the all clear, they began walking cautiously towards the Stargate. Teal'c and Daniel had point, Sam and Jacob walked together; Jacob holding onto to Sam very gently his arms wrapped loosely around her waist. Jonas and Jack watched their six, keeping a weary eye out for any hostiles. Luckily for them SG3 appeared to have made everything secure.
Hammond had already been apprised of the situation involving Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill, as well as the apparent return of Daniel Jackson. When they had heard about his return, both him and doctor Frasier had been stunned. Both had so many questions they wanted to ask about Daniel, but all that had to wait. Their immediate concern was the health of Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter.
The Stargate shimmered into life as SG1 travelled through. General Hammond though wasn't prepared for the sight that lay before him. Major Samantha Carter was the first to appear being held up it seemed by her father. It shocked him to see how fragile she looked, her face was drawn and her eyes sunken. The dark circles beneath her eyes erased the clarity of her once blue eyes. Instead of their usual brightness; her eyes reflected a darkness that he'd never seen in her before.
Colonel O'Neill didn't seem to be fairing that much better, his face pale in comparison to its normal hue, concerned features reflected in his face for his 2IC.
Now stood at the bottom of the ramp Major Carter barely raised her eyes to look at him as she tried to gather some solace in the arms of her father. Sadness filled Sam's eyes as she saw the concern in the General's bleak expression. Sam believed that once the General heard about what she'd done, his opinion of her would change.
First though, she had a duty to report her recent transactions against the SGC. Gathering the last ounce of strength to say what was required of her, she took a shaky breath. Speaking softly her words were barely audible. "General Hammond. I committed an act of treason by sabotaging key SGC systems and risking the lives of personnel on this base." Trying to contain the built up emotions with her, she continued feeling the adrenaline surge through her body. " I'm prepared to face the consequences of my actions, sir."
Jack heard her say the words, and technically she was right, but it nearly broke his heart. Sometimes he hated being in the military. Her speech held no feelings of anger or sadness; they were simply the words of somebody whose life had been shattered by circumstances behind their control.
General Hammond looked up towards Jack and saw the depth of hurt in his expression. He knew this needed to be resolved, but this wasn't the time or place. All this could wait until he'd got his people checked out by the medical personnel.
"Major, we can deal with that later. I need for you all to go down to the infirmary with Doctor Frasier to make sure you're all okay." General Hammond advised her softly.
A simple nod of her head was all he got it in return. Stepping out of the way General Hammond allowed Janet to lead her to the infirmary. He knew that if they were going to get Sam to come out of her darkness, they would all have to work together on this.
Janet was shocked to see her friend in such a bad way, and wanted to remove her from the bustle of the gateroom. "C'mon Sam, you need to come with me. Colonel, I want you and your team in the infirmary within the next couple of minutes. Is that understood?" Janet stated.
Whatever had taken place on the craft, she knew it had taken everything out of the two of them. Leaving the comforting arms of her father, Sam allowed Janet to take his place and ushered her out of the room leaving the others to remain for a moment longer.
Taking a deep breath, there was none of the Colonel's comforting euphemisms as he walked towards the General. "Sir, as you can imagine there's a lot to discuss about."
Cutting him off mid sentence General Hammond told him in plain and simple terms that everything would be discussed once he had gotten the all clear from the CMO, and that he wasn't prepared to listen until then.
"Yes, sir." Was all Jack could muster.
Sam had been completely silent through their walk down the corridors. As they entered the infirmary, Janet told her to take a seat on the bed. Her first concern was to initiate a complete work up. A nurse immediately placed a cuff on Sam's arm, and attached a probe on her finger.
"Do you want to tell me what happened Sam?" Janet asked tentatively, hoping that her friend would open up.
"Not know Janet, please." Sam replied softly, she was emotionally and physically exhausted. "I just want to sleep. Can this wait till tomorrow?"
"Sorry Sam, no can do." Looking directly at her she hesitantly asked the difficult questions. "Teal'c told SG3 that you and the Colonel had been tortured. I need to know.what methods they used."
Seeing that Janet wasn't going to leave things alone until she told her what had happened, Sam didn't feel like she had a choice on this matter. Detaching herself once more from her emotions she replied, "Colonel O'Neill was tortured with a mechanical device that burned through his skin which caused convulsions."
Janet, listened intently to her friend, and noted that her concerns weren't for herself, but for that of her CO. It didn't seem likely that she would volunteer the information about her own injuries, and she couldn't understand why. The only way she could think of for Sam to answer the questions was to turn her own statement back on itself. Softly she asked, "So, did the Goa'uld do the same to you."
Tears filled her eyes and Janet could barely make out what she said, her voice was barely above a whisper. "It wasn't a Goa'uld who hurt him Janet.it was me."
Janet wasn't sure she heard correctly, her brow frowned trying to comprehend exactly what she had just said. "*You* hurt him?"
Closing her eyes in disgust at what she done, Sam brought her hands up to her face to hide the shame the statement brought with it. Tears fell freely down her cheeks. Janet was stunned.
"Sam, what do you mean? Why did you hurt Colonel O'Neill?"
"He made me. He kept telling me to kill the Colonel. I hurt him Janet. I injected him with some toxin, and if dad hadn't been there...he would have died."
"It's okay Sam, everything's going to be okay, I promise." Trying to put everything into perspective, Janet needed to know if the same fate had befallen her friend. "What about you Sam, did they inject you as well?"
"Don't worry about me Janet." Sam said solemnly. She couldn't understand why her friend still cared about her when she no longer cared for herself.
Janet shook her head, never in all these years had she seen Sam so despondent. Noticing that Sam's face was flushed, she raised her hand to feel her forehead, Sam flinched involuntarily at Janet's hand moving towards her.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." Taken aback by Sam's actions. "You look like you have a fever. I'm just going to pop the thermometer in your mouth, okay. Then I'll get a gown for you to change into, and some ice to cool you down."
Placing the thermometer in her mouth, she waited patiently for the beep. After a minute, she looked at the reading; 102 F. Inhaling deeply she knew this wasn't a good sign. One thing was certain, she needed to get her temperature down and her vitals stable, her pulse and blood pressure were still very high.
Patting Sam's leg as a gesture of comfort she advised. " I'll be back in a few minute, the nurse will help you change. Okay?"
Tiredly Major Carter nodded her head while Janet exited the privacy of their enclosed space. Janet needed answers and quickly, and she knew she wouldn't get them from her patient.
SG1 were patiently waiting in the doctor's office, waiting for Janet to finish with Sam. Approaching Colonel O'Neill first, she noted clearly that they all showed a worried expression as to their friend's fate.
Addressing Colonel O'Neill she spoke softly, "Sam told me what happened. I need to make sure your okay, Sir."
"Janet I'm fine, it's Sam you should worry about. Jacob healed me with the healing device thingy."
Completely ignoring his complaints Janet told him firmly that she wanted to make sure for herself. Taking him to one of the beds, she ordered him to take off his shirt so she could inspect the damage caused by the electrical surge. Providing him with a gown to put on, she waited patiently until he was finished. Then placing a pulse probe on his finger while Jack whined incessantly, insisting he was fine.
"I'm okay Janet, why don't you believe me?"
"Colonel, even if you had an appendage half blown off, you'd still tell me you were okay. Now sit there, and do as your told."
Jack was about to answer her back, but thought better of it, knowing her he'd stick him with a six-inch needle for his complaining.
"I need you to tell me what Sam injected you with, and what they did to her."
Jack's eyes grew wide with surprise then filled with sadness, chewing his bottom lip he replied. "I didn't think she'd tell you."
Pulling the top from the hypodermic, she needed to get samples of his blood to determine what toxin was used. Jack barely flinched as the needle passed through his skin.
Rubbing his face vigorously with his free hand he replied, "I don't know Janet, at least what she injected into me. They hurt her more."
Knowing that he needed to get this out of his system she allowed him to continue uninterrupted. "They twisted her mind, made her believe we were trying to kill her. I don't know what they used on her, but it must have been one hell of a 'Mickey Finn'. Every time she resisted they would dope her up again, and she was alone with that good for nothing slimy toad for a long time"
"Okay, Colonel, I get the picture." If Janet hadn't stopped him there, Jack would have gone on for hours about his dislike for the Goa'uld. "Well, you'll be pleased to hear that I'm done with the blood samples.for now." Checking his abdomen and chest for any other visible signs of injury, they didn't appear to be anything major. "As for your wounds, sir, they look pretty much healed."
"See, told you I was okay."
"Yes, sir, you were right. Now, can I trust you to stay here for a while? I need to get some things for Sam."
"I'll behave. Doc, will you let me know how Carter's doing? She hasn't spoken to me since that whole 'I'm gonna kill you' episode, and she wasn't doing to well before." Jack knew he was rambling, but he realised that he only did that when he worried for her. "I think she has a fever, and well. It's just that. I'm a bit.you know."
Janet gave a small smile, she knew very well about their feelings. Although Sam hadn't said anything to her directly about how she felt for Colonel O'Neill. It was plain for anyone to see. Somehow though she didn't think the Colonel would appreciate the fact that everyone did know, so instead she replied, "I know."
By the time Janet had finished with Colonel O'Neill, Sam had already changed into her hospital gown and was now lying in a foetal position on the bed. With her eyes tightly closed, she wrapped her hands securely around the pillow for comfort. Janet sighed; she'd only once ever seen her friend so distraught, and it had taken a lot of time to get Sam to open up about what she was feeling. Somehow, she didn't think this time would be any easier.
Retrieving some ice from the medical supplies, her main concern at the moment was to bring her temperature down, and draw some blood for analysis. Janet needed to find out exactly what was injected into her friend, and wondered if her fever was somehow related to the toxins in her body.
"Sam, I'm just going to draw some blood from you, okay?" Janet asked, but received no reply; it seemed to Janet that Sam had completely turned in on herself. Talking to her gently, she explained what she was doing and why. Sam didn't even flinch when the needle pierced her skin. "Nearly done now, I just need to check you over for other injuries." Lifting the hospital gown, she found various contusions around her stomach and ribs; needle marks had pieced the side of her neck where they had obviously injected something.
Throughout the examination Sam had remained reluctant to speak. At this stage Janet didn't press her on it. Allowing Sam a moment to get dressed again, she waited until she was settled back down on the bed before placing the ice packs at the nape of her neck.
"I'm all done for now Sam, if you need anything, just let me or the nurse know."
Giving her arm a slight rub to provide some comfort, she slowly walked away. Closing the curtains behind her, she allowed Sam at least some time alone to come to terms with everything that had happened. In the mean time she had some things she needed to discuss with the remaining members of SG1 and Jacob Carter. Janet hoped they would be able to provide the answers she desperately needed.
Sam knew that she was being unreasonable not talking to Janet, but Janet's voice had held a note of sorrow, and Sam didn't believe that she was worth it, hell she'd nearly killed her CO. There were just too many things floating around in her head that she had to sort out. Memories that she had to piece together to make sense of why she did what she did, and how she would face the impending court martial. Part of her mind believed that she deserved the court martial. The other part of her kept hoping that she could erase the last few days.
How could she carry on working with her friends now, how could they trust her again after everything she'd done. It had got to the stage where her mind was filled with darkened images of the acts that she had carried out. With all the emotions careering through her brain it caused her heart rate to increase setting off the alarms on the monitor.
Jack heard the alarm go off, and fearing that something else was happening to his 2IC disconnected himself from the various wires and probes attached to his own body. Jumping off the bed he pulled the curtain to one side, and watched as he saw her trying to disconnect herself from the machines.
"Sam."
As she turned round, her face resembled that of a child caught doing something they shouldn't be doing. Startled she stuttered. "C.. C.. Colonel."
"Janet will have your hide if she catches you." Jack told her lightly.
A tense pause filled their small cubicle; Sam bit her lip unsure of what to say to her friend and CO whose life she had come close to taking. "Um.I'm sorry if I disturbed you sir."
Seeing her sat on the bed, she looked so fragile. Usually he saw her as a strong capable woman, but now she looked like someone who would jump at their own shadow, and it scared him. "You didn't. I was just.well, I was concerned about you." Jack replied softly.
Sam stared blankly back at him, "Why?"
Jacks face frowned with confusion, why would she ask him that? "What do you mean 'why'?"
"Never mind. sir. Look would you mind leaving now please."
"Yes I do mind!"
"What?" Sam asked shocked, she kind of expected him to leave without hesitation.
"Don't feign deafness Carter, leave that to Daniel." Jack continued trying to lighten the mood somewhat. It didn't appear to be working as he noticed her pulse increase once more.
"Sir, please. I'm asking you to leave." Her eyes begged for him to listen. She couldn't talk to him; not yet.
"Carter, the only way we can sort this out is if we talk about it."
Sam clenched her fist at the thought of having to relive her feelings about hurting him. Damn it, where was Janet when she needed her. Looking everywhere but directly at him, she wanted to tell him how she felt, but now wasn't the time. A fear of dread built up inside her at the thought that she would have to convey to him how close she had become to killing him. No matter how hard she tried to push it to the furthest corner of her mind, it continued to resurface as a cancer, relentless and unyielding.
As the monitor continued to beep in quick concession, Jack became increasingly concerned, and thought about contacting Janet. Fortunately for him, she had just rounded the corner, and saw the vacant bed.
Janet's eyes rolled upwards as she muttered, "I swear some people are put on this earth to make my life difficult!" Seeing that Sam's curtains were slightly opened she had a good idea where he would be.
Pulling the curtain all the way back, the first thing she noticed was Sam's blood pressure and pulse rate, then looking directly at her friends face she knew something was wrong.
Crossing her arms in front of her chest she glared at the Colonel, indicating she wasn't impressed. Jack gave his, "I'm not afraid of you look" in return to her steely gaze.
"Bed." Janet said sternly towards the Colonel.
"I was just..."
"Now Colonel."
Jack muttered quietly under his breath as he turned away from her, "Napoleonic power monger."
"I heard that."
Huffing in protest about being ordered back to bed, Jack gave one last backward glance at his 2IC, she glanced up at the same time and their eyes locked for s brief moment each sharing a glimpse of the other's deepest darkest feelings. He'd seen that look before; in his own eyes when he'd looked into a mirror. It was a haunted look that burned deep within. A look of self-loathing.
Hovering at the edge of the bed, he said, "Sam."
"Colonel, don't make me get the SF's to come down here and drag your butt on that bed, because you know I will."
Inhaling deeply with frustration he continued, "Doc, it's important."
"Yes, and so is the welfare of my patients, both of who need monitoring and rest. You need to wait until I've assessed Sam's condition. Now do I call the guards or are you going to do as your told?" Janet finished off firmly.
"I'm going." Jack replied belligerently. He knew that Janet wouldn't be on shift all night, and he would use that opportunity later to talk with Sam. Settling back into the bed, he covered his face with his hands, and tried to get some rest before Janet came over with her big needles.
"Sam, we need to reduce your vitals, and I'm hesitant to introduce another drug into your system. I don't know how the two drugs would interact. Until your results are back from the lab I want you to rest up. So swing your legs back into that bed please."
"Janet, I just want to go home. Can't I rest there?"
"I'm sorry Sam, but I need you to stay here." She replied gesturing for Sam to get back on the bed.
"I *don't* want to stay here Janet." Sam replied stubbornly, refusing to comply with Janet's insistent requests.
"You've never minded my company before? So why the urgency to get out now."
Unconsciously looking over to the shielded bed next to her, she replied hesitantly, "It's.it's not you Janet."
Now fully comprehending why she felt the desperate urge to leave the infirmary, she sat herself down on the edge of the bed, placing her hand lightly on Sam's arm and whispered, "You're going to have to talk to him sometime you know."
"I can't." Sam replied fiddling with her hands.
"Can't or won't?" Janet challenged.
Sam didn't have an answer for her, she didn't even know herself. Wanting to now hide herself from the emotions she swung her legs over, and laid her head on the upright pillow.
"He's hurting too Sam, whether you want to believe that or not." Janet continued softly.
Turning her head sharply towards her friend, "I *know* that Janet, and *who* do you think is responsible. I'll tell you shall I?" Sam replied finding herself becoming agitated and angry all over again. "It's my fault. I'm responsible for this mess. If I could take it back, don't you think I would?"
Jack heard her voice rising steadily getting angrier with every passing moment, and thought about interfering, then hearing Janet's words, he realised that for the moment she would be the one best suited to talking with Sam, they had grown exceptionally close over the last six years and sometimes it was easier speaking to a friend as opposed to your CO, and that's just what she needed right now.
Thoughts mulled in his head as sleep eluded him, how could he sleep when his feelings for Carter ran so deep. When she hurt, he hurt. Unfortunately he knew that neither of them could act on it. Knowing how important her career was to her, and him being her CO, it would never work; the regulations would never allow it.
Remembering his conversation with Jacob about how he felt for her when he thought Sam was dying. Jack knew that Jacob would never mention it to Sam until things could be different. When he thought about how close he came to telling her he loved her, she had called him 'Sir' and that one simple word had put his feelings on hold once more.
Lowering her voice once more Janet continued. "Sam. All I'm saying is that you are *both* having feelings of regret. Going through something like this will undoubtedly leave scars, but unless you talk to each other, the problem will continue. It'll get to a stage where you won't be able to talk to each other at all. Is that what you want?"
Matching her tone of voice to Janet's she replied sadly, "No of course not. How can he trust me though Janet?" Her eyes filled with tears at the thought. "I don't even know if I trust myself."
"Sam, you've come through a lot of things together, and you'll both find a way to make it work. It's just going to take some time."
Sam's eyes began to droop and unable to take much more of this day, she closed her eyes. Feeling the coolness of an ice pack once more on her forehead, she opened her eyes briefly as Janet's final words were, "You rest, we'll talk more later."
Within moments, Sam fell into a restless sleep, the day's events finally catching up with her.
Lost in thought, Janet didn't realise that there were people waiting for her. Her eyes rested on Daniel. Up until this point she hadn't give him much thought, especially with what she had to contend with here, but seeing him here in the flesh took her by surprise.
"Daniel. It really is you?" Janet whispered.
"Hi Janet."
"How?"
"I'll explain later." Daniel answered with a hint of a smile on his face. Turning towards his friends, General Hammond was the first to speak.
"How are they Doctor?"
"Well, physically and emotionally, they're both a little battered and bruised. Colonel O'Neill is fairing up better than Major Carter at the moment. Jacob healed the Majority of the Colonel's injuries, and he seems to be in reasonable good health. Major Carter though is still suffering from the effects of the drugs that were injected into her."
"I see. Can I speak to them?" General Hammond enquired.
"You can see Colonel O'Neill for a few minutes, but then I really need him to get some rest. As for Major Carter, she's currently running a temperature, which I need to keep an eye on. I've just left her, and she seemed to be asleep, so it might be best if you speak to her in the morning."
"That's fine doctor. I won't stay long."
"He's just inside that cubicle Sir."
General Hammond nodded, there were a few things that he needed to discuss with the Colonel, and he knew it wouldn't be pleasant, particularly as it involved the Major's impending Court Martial.
Placing a hand on Janet's arms, Jacob asked, "Can I go sit with her? I promise not to wake her."
Knowing Sam would appreciate having her dad there when she woke up, she agreed. Turning towards the remaining members of SG1 she needed to complete their physicals first, and at least it would keep her mind occupied until the test results came back.
"So, who's first."
"Well, I'm dead, so you don't have to worry about me." Daniel advised.
Not expecting that as a response, Janet allowed herself to smile. Completely disregarding his statement she replied. "Great, thanks for volunteering Daniel."
General Hammond approached the Colonel's bed, he looked as if the whole weight of the world had been placed on his shoulders.
"How are you feeling Jack?"
"I've been better. How's Sam?"
"Doctor Frasier said she's running a temperature, presumably from the injections. She's asleep at the moment so I won't disturb her. Do you want to tell me what happened?"
"Not really, but I don't think I have a choice."
For the next 30 minute Jack advised the General of everything that had happened over the last few days bringing him back to their present circumstances, and Sam's admission of treason.
Up until this point General Hammond had remained quiet throughout allowing the young man to get it off his chest.
"Jack, you do realise that there will have to be a court martial, don't you?"
"Sir, it wasn't Carter's fault, she was being controlled." Jack pleaded to his commanding officer, hoping that there was some other way around this.
"I know that son, but I'm afraid things have gone too far now. I cannot just sweep this under the carpet like it never happened."
Jack knew that there wasn't any alternative, but he had to try; for carter's sake. "Please sir, she doesn't deserve this."
Shaking his head, his only response was. "I'm sorry Jack. The hearing will be scheduled as soon as you are both up and ready."
Sighing deeply, Jack closed his eyes in defeat. "Yes, sir."
"Get some rest. I'll come and see you both in the morning."
End Chapter 21.
Told you I went on, didn't I. :O) Well, if things go to plan Chapter 22 WILL be the last chapter. I wasn't sure about this one, but there you go, loved to know what you thought. The next chapter will be the Court martial.
You know I said that the last chapter was the Penultimate, well, ahem, this is the "*penultimate penultimate*" It's a new word that has been created for us writers who don't know when to stop! :O)
What can I say, you should know me by know. I was (honestly) going to make this the last chapter, but it took me so long, and I kinda didn't want to leave it with unanswered questions, so there will be one more after this. *feeling quite sheepish now *
Anyway, once more, those who need to pee..GO NOW!
Stargate: it doesn't belong to me, I'm just taking them on an extremely long adventure.
Rating PG13
Spoilers: From Season 2 onwards, but none in this.
End of Chapter 20 - Retribution
Sam was abnormally quiet throughout the trip back, Jacob with a lot of concentrated effort had managed to heal the majority of injuries Sam had inflicted on Jack. Within a few minutes of Jacob healing him, he opened his eyes and instantly realised that he wasn't on the mother ship anymore.
Jack's eyes searched for her, but couldn't see as Jacob was directly in his vision.
"Jacob.Sam, is she." Jack asked hesitantly his voice indicating none of the strength that he was known for.
Jacob patted his hand on his shoulder, and said softly, "We got her back as well Jack."
"Where is she, Jacob."
Moving out of his vision, he finally saw her, and it hurt him deeply to see that she was in the furthest corner of the room, not even looking at anyone, her face showed a look of deep regret and loss. Feeling nothing but sorrow for his 2IC, he called out to her.
"Sam."
Sam looked up to see that the Colonel was awake, and she knew that he would be okay, but inside she didn't feel that she would be. Unable to look at him, she turned her face away and placed her head on her bent knees. She couldn't think or feel anymore, and all the pain that she had caused him filtered through her brain. Never in her life had she felt so lost and alone.
Chapter 21 - Regrets
Jack saw the disparity in his 2IC eyes; she could barely look at him. A soul so haunted looked fleetingly back at him. Sadness filled Colonel Jack O'Neill, and he turned his head back towards Jacob. Disbelief showed clearly in Jacob's expression as he observed how his usually lively daughter, sat in solitude. Her body language spoke volumes to him as Sam's head rested gently against her pulled up knees in an attempt to shield herself from further harm.
"Jacob?" Jack asked tentatively.
"I know Jack." Jacob didn't feel the need to add anything at this point, both men feeling pain at the young women's need to cut herself off.
Struggling to sit up, Jacob held his arm out to his daughter's CO, "Take it easy Jack."
"I will Jacob, but I need to talk to her, tell her it's okay." Jack continued. "Jacob, you need to use that healing thing on her to. I don't know what sort of drugs that slimy good f'nothing put into her, but she's hurting."
"I know Jack, but at the moment she needs some space. I don't think she's ready to talk to you just yet. For now though why don't you take Jonas into the cock pit, we can't be very far from the Stargate now."
"Is that your attempt at being subtle Jacob?" Jack enquired knowing full well his presence with Sam, might not be helping her.
"Not working?" Jacob asked.
"No!"
"Sorry, it's the best I can do" Jacob finished. Watching Jack's face he knew that this was just as difficult for him as it was for Sam.
Glancing over one last time at his 2IC he motioned for Jonas to follow. Leaving Sam and her Dad alone, Jack hoped it would help, but he wasn't so sure.
Slowly walking over to his daughter, Jacob carefully knelt beside her placing his hand on top of her shoulder. Unexpectedly her eyes opened widely; filled with fear and apprehension of what would take place once they got through the gate.
"Sam honey, I'm sorry I didn't mean to startle you. How are you doing?"
Sam saw the concern in her dad's face, but she didn't know what to tell him. Her dad wasn't the sort of person who would worry needlessly, but what she saw before her was definite concern in his eyes. The mind control that Amemait had used was slowly receding towards the back of her mind, and she hoped it would allow her to regain some of the control she had lost. There were still so many gaps in her memory, but she didn't know for sure if she would ever get them back again; and that scared her.
A lingering doubt still existed as to what was real and what was a hallucination. For a fleeting moment she found herself becoming paranoid once more. Looking past her father, she couldn't see him, and her eyes scanned the room longingly searching for his familiar face. Panic began to set in as she couldn't think of where he had gone, with her thoughts in turmoil, for a fleeting moment she felt as if the was once again a figment of her imagination.
Rising quickly, she felt her heart quicken at the thought of him not being there. Seeing the fear in her eyes, Jacob couldn't understand what was going through her mind until her eyes darted back and forth across the room.
"It's okay Sam." Knowing who she was looking for. "He's with Daniel, Teal'c and Jonas."
Searching for a hint of truthfulness in his voice, she asked "Your sure?"
"Yeah Sam, I'm sure. Why not come and see for yourself?" Jacob hoped it would help get her mind sorted to some degree. He knew that Jack cared very much for his daughter, and he also knew Sam well enough to know that those feelings were reciprocated. It hurt him to see his daughter so troubled, and he also knew the only way she would be able to come to terms with everything that had happened was for her to let Jack know what she was thinking and feeling.
Taking Sam by the arm he attempted to lead her to him, but she refused, instead retreating to the corner where she had first sat. Sighing slightly Jacob backed off. One thing was for sure; he wouldn't push her into anything she couldn't handle.
"Okay, Sam. Why don't you just rest here for a while, and I'll go check on the others."
As Jacob left the room, Sam didn't even acknowledge his leaving. The temptation to curl up into a little ball away from anything and everyone continued to resurface as thoughts mulled around her head. Trying desperately to recall how this all came about, she blamed herself for everything that had happened. If she had just spoken to Jack when she'd had that strange feeling about Jaret, then maybe all this might not have happened. Bringing herself back to the present she wondered if things would or could ever be the same again.
In the control room, Jack and Jacob stood to one side leaving Daniel Teal'c and Jonas towards the front. They had been fortunate so far, in the fact that no death gliders had descended down from the mother ship. Scanning the distance Teal'c noted the Stargate towards the south and proceeded towards its vicinity.
"O'Neill, we are nearing the Stargate, we should be landing in a few moments."
Jack nodded in response, then turning back to Jacob he asked. "So where do we go from here? She could barely look at me before. You know me Jacob; I've never been good with feelings and stuff. I just don't know where to start with her.do you?"
"Jack, it's going to take time, and your just going to have to learn patience until she's ready to talk with you."
Jack pulled a face, "Jacob, those two words really shouldn't go in the same sentence when you're talking about me."
Jacob allowed himself a small smile. "Sorry Jack, I forgot."
"So, shall I go and get her?"
"No, I'll get her. I want you to take it easy, at least until Doctor Frasier checks you out."
"I'm fine Jacob, stop clucking like a mother hen."
"Jack, I'm serious. Don't make me pull rank on you." Jacob retorted firmly ensuring that there was no room for argument.
Jack sauntered off towards Daniel, Teal'c and Jonas muttering to himself about how even when General's are retired, they still make you feel like you have to obey them.
As soon as they landed Teal'c, Daniel and Jonas proceeded to check out the parameters of the ship before they allowed Sam to leave the craft, and found SG3 bordering the premises. Teal'c asked them to radio General Hammond to advise him of their status, and to have a medical team standing by.
Once they were given the all clear, they began walking cautiously towards the Stargate. Teal'c and Daniel had point, Sam and Jacob walked together; Jacob holding onto to Sam very gently his arms wrapped loosely around her waist. Jonas and Jack watched their six, keeping a weary eye out for any hostiles. Luckily for them SG3 appeared to have made everything secure.
Hammond had already been apprised of the situation involving Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill, as well as the apparent return of Daniel Jackson. When they had heard about his return, both him and doctor Frasier had been stunned. Both had so many questions they wanted to ask about Daniel, but all that had to wait. Their immediate concern was the health of Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter.
The Stargate shimmered into life as SG1 travelled through. General Hammond though wasn't prepared for the sight that lay before him. Major Samantha Carter was the first to appear being held up it seemed by her father. It shocked him to see how fragile she looked, her face was drawn and her eyes sunken. The dark circles beneath her eyes erased the clarity of her once blue eyes. Instead of their usual brightness; her eyes reflected a darkness that he'd never seen in her before.
Colonel O'Neill didn't seem to be fairing that much better, his face pale in comparison to its normal hue, concerned features reflected in his face for his 2IC.
Now stood at the bottom of the ramp Major Carter barely raised her eyes to look at him as she tried to gather some solace in the arms of her father. Sadness filled Sam's eyes as she saw the concern in the General's bleak expression. Sam believed that once the General heard about what she'd done, his opinion of her would change.
First though, she had a duty to report her recent transactions against the SGC. Gathering the last ounce of strength to say what was required of her, she took a shaky breath. Speaking softly her words were barely audible. "General Hammond. I committed an act of treason by sabotaging key SGC systems and risking the lives of personnel on this base." Trying to contain the built up emotions with her, she continued feeling the adrenaline surge through her body. " I'm prepared to face the consequences of my actions, sir."
Jack heard her say the words, and technically she was right, but it nearly broke his heart. Sometimes he hated being in the military. Her speech held no feelings of anger or sadness; they were simply the words of somebody whose life had been shattered by circumstances behind their control.
General Hammond looked up towards Jack and saw the depth of hurt in his expression. He knew this needed to be resolved, but this wasn't the time or place. All this could wait until he'd got his people checked out by the medical personnel.
"Major, we can deal with that later. I need for you all to go down to the infirmary with Doctor Frasier to make sure you're all okay." General Hammond advised her softly.
A simple nod of her head was all he got it in return. Stepping out of the way General Hammond allowed Janet to lead her to the infirmary. He knew that if they were going to get Sam to come out of her darkness, they would all have to work together on this.
Janet was shocked to see her friend in such a bad way, and wanted to remove her from the bustle of the gateroom. "C'mon Sam, you need to come with me. Colonel, I want you and your team in the infirmary within the next couple of minutes. Is that understood?" Janet stated.
Whatever had taken place on the craft, she knew it had taken everything out of the two of them. Leaving the comforting arms of her father, Sam allowed Janet to take his place and ushered her out of the room leaving the others to remain for a moment longer.
Taking a deep breath, there was none of the Colonel's comforting euphemisms as he walked towards the General. "Sir, as you can imagine there's a lot to discuss about."
Cutting him off mid sentence General Hammond told him in plain and simple terms that everything would be discussed once he had gotten the all clear from the CMO, and that he wasn't prepared to listen until then.
"Yes, sir." Was all Jack could muster.
Sam had been completely silent through their walk down the corridors. As they entered the infirmary, Janet told her to take a seat on the bed. Her first concern was to initiate a complete work up. A nurse immediately placed a cuff on Sam's arm, and attached a probe on her finger.
"Do you want to tell me what happened Sam?" Janet asked tentatively, hoping that her friend would open up.
"Not know Janet, please." Sam replied softly, she was emotionally and physically exhausted. "I just want to sleep. Can this wait till tomorrow?"
"Sorry Sam, no can do." Looking directly at her she hesitantly asked the difficult questions. "Teal'c told SG3 that you and the Colonel had been tortured. I need to know.what methods they used."
Seeing that Janet wasn't going to leave things alone until she told her what had happened, Sam didn't feel like she had a choice on this matter. Detaching herself once more from her emotions she replied, "Colonel O'Neill was tortured with a mechanical device that burned through his skin which caused convulsions."
Janet, listened intently to her friend, and noted that her concerns weren't for herself, but for that of her CO. It didn't seem likely that she would volunteer the information about her own injuries, and she couldn't understand why. The only way she could think of for Sam to answer the questions was to turn her own statement back on itself. Softly she asked, "So, did the Goa'uld do the same to you."
Tears filled her eyes and Janet could barely make out what she said, her voice was barely above a whisper. "It wasn't a Goa'uld who hurt him Janet.it was me."
Janet wasn't sure she heard correctly, her brow frowned trying to comprehend exactly what she had just said. "*You* hurt him?"
Closing her eyes in disgust at what she done, Sam brought her hands up to her face to hide the shame the statement brought with it. Tears fell freely down her cheeks. Janet was stunned.
"Sam, what do you mean? Why did you hurt Colonel O'Neill?"
"He made me. He kept telling me to kill the Colonel. I hurt him Janet. I injected him with some toxin, and if dad hadn't been there...he would have died."
"It's okay Sam, everything's going to be okay, I promise." Trying to put everything into perspective, Janet needed to know if the same fate had befallen her friend. "What about you Sam, did they inject you as well?"
"Don't worry about me Janet." Sam said solemnly. She couldn't understand why her friend still cared about her when she no longer cared for herself.
Janet shook her head, never in all these years had she seen Sam so despondent. Noticing that Sam's face was flushed, she raised her hand to feel her forehead, Sam flinched involuntarily at Janet's hand moving towards her.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." Taken aback by Sam's actions. "You look like you have a fever. I'm just going to pop the thermometer in your mouth, okay. Then I'll get a gown for you to change into, and some ice to cool you down."
Placing the thermometer in her mouth, she waited patiently for the beep. After a minute, she looked at the reading; 102 F. Inhaling deeply she knew this wasn't a good sign. One thing was certain, she needed to get her temperature down and her vitals stable, her pulse and blood pressure were still very high.
Patting Sam's leg as a gesture of comfort she advised. " I'll be back in a few minute, the nurse will help you change. Okay?"
Tiredly Major Carter nodded her head while Janet exited the privacy of their enclosed space. Janet needed answers and quickly, and she knew she wouldn't get them from her patient.
SG1 were patiently waiting in the doctor's office, waiting for Janet to finish with Sam. Approaching Colonel O'Neill first, she noted clearly that they all showed a worried expression as to their friend's fate.
Addressing Colonel O'Neill she spoke softly, "Sam told me what happened. I need to make sure your okay, Sir."
"Janet I'm fine, it's Sam you should worry about. Jacob healed me with the healing device thingy."
Completely ignoring his complaints Janet told him firmly that she wanted to make sure for herself. Taking him to one of the beds, she ordered him to take off his shirt so she could inspect the damage caused by the electrical surge. Providing him with a gown to put on, she waited patiently until he was finished. Then placing a pulse probe on his finger while Jack whined incessantly, insisting he was fine.
"I'm okay Janet, why don't you believe me?"
"Colonel, even if you had an appendage half blown off, you'd still tell me you were okay. Now sit there, and do as your told."
Jack was about to answer her back, but thought better of it, knowing her he'd stick him with a six-inch needle for his complaining.
"I need you to tell me what Sam injected you with, and what they did to her."
Jack's eyes grew wide with surprise then filled with sadness, chewing his bottom lip he replied. "I didn't think she'd tell you."
Pulling the top from the hypodermic, she needed to get samples of his blood to determine what toxin was used. Jack barely flinched as the needle passed through his skin.
Rubbing his face vigorously with his free hand he replied, "I don't know Janet, at least what she injected into me. They hurt her more."
Knowing that he needed to get this out of his system she allowed him to continue uninterrupted. "They twisted her mind, made her believe we were trying to kill her. I don't know what they used on her, but it must have been one hell of a 'Mickey Finn'. Every time she resisted they would dope her up again, and she was alone with that good for nothing slimy toad for a long time"
"Okay, Colonel, I get the picture." If Janet hadn't stopped him there, Jack would have gone on for hours about his dislike for the Goa'uld. "Well, you'll be pleased to hear that I'm done with the blood samples.for now." Checking his abdomen and chest for any other visible signs of injury, they didn't appear to be anything major. "As for your wounds, sir, they look pretty much healed."
"See, told you I was okay."
"Yes, sir, you were right. Now, can I trust you to stay here for a while? I need to get some things for Sam."
"I'll behave. Doc, will you let me know how Carter's doing? She hasn't spoken to me since that whole 'I'm gonna kill you' episode, and she wasn't doing to well before." Jack knew he was rambling, but he realised that he only did that when he worried for her. "I think she has a fever, and well. It's just that. I'm a bit.you know."
Janet gave a small smile, she knew very well about their feelings. Although Sam hadn't said anything to her directly about how she felt for Colonel O'Neill. It was plain for anyone to see. Somehow though she didn't think the Colonel would appreciate the fact that everyone did know, so instead she replied, "I know."
By the time Janet had finished with Colonel O'Neill, Sam had already changed into her hospital gown and was now lying in a foetal position on the bed. With her eyes tightly closed, she wrapped her hands securely around the pillow for comfort. Janet sighed; she'd only once ever seen her friend so distraught, and it had taken a lot of time to get Sam to open up about what she was feeling. Somehow, she didn't think this time would be any easier.
Retrieving some ice from the medical supplies, her main concern at the moment was to bring her temperature down, and draw some blood for analysis. Janet needed to find out exactly what was injected into her friend, and wondered if her fever was somehow related to the toxins in her body.
"Sam, I'm just going to draw some blood from you, okay?" Janet asked, but received no reply; it seemed to Janet that Sam had completely turned in on herself. Talking to her gently, she explained what she was doing and why. Sam didn't even flinch when the needle pierced her skin. "Nearly done now, I just need to check you over for other injuries." Lifting the hospital gown, she found various contusions around her stomach and ribs; needle marks had pieced the side of her neck where they had obviously injected something.
Throughout the examination Sam had remained reluctant to speak. At this stage Janet didn't press her on it. Allowing Sam a moment to get dressed again, she waited until she was settled back down on the bed before placing the ice packs at the nape of her neck.
"I'm all done for now Sam, if you need anything, just let me or the nurse know."
Giving her arm a slight rub to provide some comfort, she slowly walked away. Closing the curtains behind her, she allowed Sam at least some time alone to come to terms with everything that had happened. In the mean time she had some things she needed to discuss with the remaining members of SG1 and Jacob Carter. Janet hoped they would be able to provide the answers she desperately needed.
Sam knew that she was being unreasonable not talking to Janet, but Janet's voice had held a note of sorrow, and Sam didn't believe that she was worth it, hell she'd nearly killed her CO. There were just too many things floating around in her head that she had to sort out. Memories that she had to piece together to make sense of why she did what she did, and how she would face the impending court martial. Part of her mind believed that she deserved the court martial. The other part of her kept hoping that she could erase the last few days.
How could she carry on working with her friends now, how could they trust her again after everything she'd done. It had got to the stage where her mind was filled with darkened images of the acts that she had carried out. With all the emotions careering through her brain it caused her heart rate to increase setting off the alarms on the monitor.
Jack heard the alarm go off, and fearing that something else was happening to his 2IC disconnected himself from the various wires and probes attached to his own body. Jumping off the bed he pulled the curtain to one side, and watched as he saw her trying to disconnect herself from the machines.
"Sam."
As she turned round, her face resembled that of a child caught doing something they shouldn't be doing. Startled she stuttered. "C.. C.. Colonel."
"Janet will have your hide if she catches you." Jack told her lightly.
A tense pause filled their small cubicle; Sam bit her lip unsure of what to say to her friend and CO whose life she had come close to taking. "Um.I'm sorry if I disturbed you sir."
Seeing her sat on the bed, she looked so fragile. Usually he saw her as a strong capable woman, but now she looked like someone who would jump at their own shadow, and it scared him. "You didn't. I was just.well, I was concerned about you." Jack replied softly.
Sam stared blankly back at him, "Why?"
Jacks face frowned with confusion, why would she ask him that? "What do you mean 'why'?"
"Never mind. sir. Look would you mind leaving now please."
"Yes I do mind!"
"What?" Sam asked shocked, she kind of expected him to leave without hesitation.
"Don't feign deafness Carter, leave that to Daniel." Jack continued trying to lighten the mood somewhat. It didn't appear to be working as he noticed her pulse increase once more.
"Sir, please. I'm asking you to leave." Her eyes begged for him to listen. She couldn't talk to him; not yet.
"Carter, the only way we can sort this out is if we talk about it."
Sam clenched her fist at the thought of having to relive her feelings about hurting him. Damn it, where was Janet when she needed her. Looking everywhere but directly at him, she wanted to tell him how she felt, but now wasn't the time. A fear of dread built up inside her at the thought that she would have to convey to him how close she had become to killing him. No matter how hard she tried to push it to the furthest corner of her mind, it continued to resurface as a cancer, relentless and unyielding.
As the monitor continued to beep in quick concession, Jack became increasingly concerned, and thought about contacting Janet. Fortunately for him, she had just rounded the corner, and saw the vacant bed.
Janet's eyes rolled upwards as she muttered, "I swear some people are put on this earth to make my life difficult!" Seeing that Sam's curtains were slightly opened she had a good idea where he would be.
Pulling the curtain all the way back, the first thing she noticed was Sam's blood pressure and pulse rate, then looking directly at her friends face she knew something was wrong.
Crossing her arms in front of her chest she glared at the Colonel, indicating she wasn't impressed. Jack gave his, "I'm not afraid of you look" in return to her steely gaze.
"Bed." Janet said sternly towards the Colonel.
"I was just..."
"Now Colonel."
Jack muttered quietly under his breath as he turned away from her, "Napoleonic power monger."
"I heard that."
Huffing in protest about being ordered back to bed, Jack gave one last backward glance at his 2IC, she glanced up at the same time and their eyes locked for s brief moment each sharing a glimpse of the other's deepest darkest feelings. He'd seen that look before; in his own eyes when he'd looked into a mirror. It was a haunted look that burned deep within. A look of self-loathing.
Hovering at the edge of the bed, he said, "Sam."
"Colonel, don't make me get the SF's to come down here and drag your butt on that bed, because you know I will."
Inhaling deeply with frustration he continued, "Doc, it's important."
"Yes, and so is the welfare of my patients, both of who need monitoring and rest. You need to wait until I've assessed Sam's condition. Now do I call the guards or are you going to do as your told?" Janet finished off firmly.
"I'm going." Jack replied belligerently. He knew that Janet wouldn't be on shift all night, and he would use that opportunity later to talk with Sam. Settling back into the bed, he covered his face with his hands, and tried to get some rest before Janet came over with her big needles.
"Sam, we need to reduce your vitals, and I'm hesitant to introduce another drug into your system. I don't know how the two drugs would interact. Until your results are back from the lab I want you to rest up. So swing your legs back into that bed please."
"Janet, I just want to go home. Can't I rest there?"
"I'm sorry Sam, but I need you to stay here." She replied gesturing for Sam to get back on the bed.
"I *don't* want to stay here Janet." Sam replied stubbornly, refusing to comply with Janet's insistent requests.
"You've never minded my company before? So why the urgency to get out now."
Unconsciously looking over to the shielded bed next to her, she replied hesitantly, "It's.it's not you Janet."
Now fully comprehending why she felt the desperate urge to leave the infirmary, she sat herself down on the edge of the bed, placing her hand lightly on Sam's arm and whispered, "You're going to have to talk to him sometime you know."
"I can't." Sam replied fiddling with her hands.
"Can't or won't?" Janet challenged.
Sam didn't have an answer for her, she didn't even know herself. Wanting to now hide herself from the emotions she swung her legs over, and laid her head on the upright pillow.
"He's hurting too Sam, whether you want to believe that or not." Janet continued softly.
Turning her head sharply towards her friend, "I *know* that Janet, and *who* do you think is responsible. I'll tell you shall I?" Sam replied finding herself becoming agitated and angry all over again. "It's my fault. I'm responsible for this mess. If I could take it back, don't you think I would?"
Jack heard her voice rising steadily getting angrier with every passing moment, and thought about interfering, then hearing Janet's words, he realised that for the moment she would be the one best suited to talking with Sam, they had grown exceptionally close over the last six years and sometimes it was easier speaking to a friend as opposed to your CO, and that's just what she needed right now.
Thoughts mulled in his head as sleep eluded him, how could he sleep when his feelings for Carter ran so deep. When she hurt, he hurt. Unfortunately he knew that neither of them could act on it. Knowing how important her career was to her, and him being her CO, it would never work; the regulations would never allow it.
Remembering his conversation with Jacob about how he felt for her when he thought Sam was dying. Jack knew that Jacob would never mention it to Sam until things could be different. When he thought about how close he came to telling her he loved her, she had called him 'Sir' and that one simple word had put his feelings on hold once more.
Lowering her voice once more Janet continued. "Sam. All I'm saying is that you are *both* having feelings of regret. Going through something like this will undoubtedly leave scars, but unless you talk to each other, the problem will continue. It'll get to a stage where you won't be able to talk to each other at all. Is that what you want?"
Matching her tone of voice to Janet's she replied sadly, "No of course not. How can he trust me though Janet?" Her eyes filled with tears at the thought. "I don't even know if I trust myself."
"Sam, you've come through a lot of things together, and you'll both find a way to make it work. It's just going to take some time."
Sam's eyes began to droop and unable to take much more of this day, she closed her eyes. Feeling the coolness of an ice pack once more on her forehead, she opened her eyes briefly as Janet's final words were, "You rest, we'll talk more later."
Within moments, Sam fell into a restless sleep, the day's events finally catching up with her.
Lost in thought, Janet didn't realise that there were people waiting for her. Her eyes rested on Daniel. Up until this point she hadn't give him much thought, especially with what she had to contend with here, but seeing him here in the flesh took her by surprise.
"Daniel. It really is you?" Janet whispered.
"Hi Janet."
"How?"
"I'll explain later." Daniel answered with a hint of a smile on his face. Turning towards his friends, General Hammond was the first to speak.
"How are they Doctor?"
"Well, physically and emotionally, they're both a little battered and bruised. Colonel O'Neill is fairing up better than Major Carter at the moment. Jacob healed the Majority of the Colonel's injuries, and he seems to be in reasonable good health. Major Carter though is still suffering from the effects of the drugs that were injected into her."
"I see. Can I speak to them?" General Hammond enquired.
"You can see Colonel O'Neill for a few minutes, but then I really need him to get some rest. As for Major Carter, she's currently running a temperature, which I need to keep an eye on. I've just left her, and she seemed to be asleep, so it might be best if you speak to her in the morning."
"That's fine doctor. I won't stay long."
"He's just inside that cubicle Sir."
General Hammond nodded, there were a few things that he needed to discuss with the Colonel, and he knew it wouldn't be pleasant, particularly as it involved the Major's impending Court Martial.
Placing a hand on Janet's arms, Jacob asked, "Can I go sit with her? I promise not to wake her."
Knowing Sam would appreciate having her dad there when she woke up, she agreed. Turning towards the remaining members of SG1 she needed to complete their physicals first, and at least it would keep her mind occupied until the test results came back.
"So, who's first."
"Well, I'm dead, so you don't have to worry about me." Daniel advised.
Not expecting that as a response, Janet allowed herself to smile. Completely disregarding his statement she replied. "Great, thanks for volunteering Daniel."
General Hammond approached the Colonel's bed, he looked as if the whole weight of the world had been placed on his shoulders.
"How are you feeling Jack?"
"I've been better. How's Sam?"
"Doctor Frasier said she's running a temperature, presumably from the injections. She's asleep at the moment so I won't disturb her. Do you want to tell me what happened?"
"Not really, but I don't think I have a choice."
For the next 30 minute Jack advised the General of everything that had happened over the last few days bringing him back to their present circumstances, and Sam's admission of treason.
Up until this point General Hammond had remained quiet throughout allowing the young man to get it off his chest.
"Jack, you do realise that there will have to be a court martial, don't you?"
"Sir, it wasn't Carter's fault, she was being controlled." Jack pleaded to his commanding officer, hoping that there was some other way around this.
"I know that son, but I'm afraid things have gone too far now. I cannot just sweep this under the carpet like it never happened."
Jack knew that there wasn't any alternative, but he had to try; for carter's sake. "Please sir, she doesn't deserve this."
Shaking his head, his only response was. "I'm sorry Jack. The hearing will be scheduled as soon as you are both up and ready."
Sighing deeply, Jack closed his eyes in defeat. "Yes, sir."
"Get some rest. I'll come and see you both in the morning."
End Chapter 21.
Told you I went on, didn't I. :O) Well, if things go to plan Chapter 22 WILL be the last chapter. I wasn't sure about this one, but there you go, loved to know what you thought. The next chapter will be the Court martial.
