FINALLY! I actually finished it. *Ahem* I think it was the fact that I was going to get lynched by certain reviewers if I didn't. *lol*. I just want to say Thank you so much for those that have reviewed, you've kept me going, and I just love reading them, makes my lil heart leap with joy. :O)
For those that read but didn't review, go on, it's the last one, love to know who you are. :O)
Sorry for the lateness, I've had a few problems lately. :O(
Anyway enough of my excuses, here goes *sniff*. My last chapter. For the record, my muse is stood beside me with a zat gun to make sure I finish it this time. ;O)
For those that remember my initial impulse for writing for this fic, (yes, I know it was so long ago), I always thought Sam looked really nervous in Descent, so this was my take on why. Takes place before the Descent Episode.
Stargate is not mine, but I thank MGM and Gekko for letting me borrow them for a lil while.
Rating PG13
Spoilers: Bits and bobs from season 2 onwards to Descent.
WARNING – IT'S 36 PAGES, SO AS ALWAYS THOSE THAT NEED TO PEE, GO NOW!
End of Chapter 22Sam looked at him intently seeing the concern in his soft features. She didn't know what to say. Her heart was saying one thing, but her brain was telling her it was wrong on so many levels. Deciding to go with her heart, she laid her head softly against his shoulder and whispered, "I'm scared."
"I know." Jack answered softly wrapping his arm around her waist pulling her into him.
"What am I going to do." Sam said dejectedly.
"Sleep tonight, worry tomorrow." Jack replied trying to belay her fears.
Sam smiled softly against his body; he had just the right words to calm her fears. Feeling safe in his arms gave her the courage to ask, "Will you stay until I fall asleep?"
"Your Dad couldn't drag me away."
For the next half an hour Jack felt her breathing even out until eventually she fell into a deep slumber. Glancing down at her, he hadn't seen her looking at peace for a long time. He knew he couldn't stay here all night. The rumour mill would have a field day if someone caught him coming out of her quarters in the early hours of the morning; and she didn't need that. Carefully he removed his arms from around her and gently lowered her body to a prone position; positioning her head against the pillow.
Looking at her sleeping peacefully at last, he picked up a blanket and wrapped it carefully around her body. His heart ached at the thought of tomorrow…well today. He didn't know if he wanted to carry on working here if she wasn't with him.
Brushing her hair away from her eyes, he bent down and lightly kissed her forehead.
"Good night Sam."
In the depths of sleep she heard the words, and without stirring whispered, "Night Jack."
***
Chapter 23 – The Trial Part II
Sam had woken up relatively early that morning, and was already showered and changed into her BDU's at least until the court martial hearing began at 10.30,checking her watch she realised that it had only just turned 0630. Colonel Jessica Chapman, her legal council wouldn't be arriving until 0900, so she still had a few hours to kill. Her stomach rumbled from hunger and nervous energy, but she didn't feel like going to the commissary on her own. As if realising Sam's obstinacy, her stomach rumbled louder.
"Looks like I came just in time."
"Sir!" Sam said startled. Recovering quickly, she smiled. "Do you ever sleep?"
"No ma'am. Your rumbling stomach woke me up. I thought it was an earthquake. So, to make sure we made it through the disaster, I brought supplies."
Sam laughed at his attempts to cheer her up, and playing along asked, "And what supplies did you bring?"
"Coffee, Juice, toast, pancakes, fruit…shall I go on?"
"Thank you."
"Your welcome."
For the next hour they ate and talked about nothing, and they both find it a refreshing change. At 0730, Sam shooed him away to get dressed.
"Everything will be okay, Sam. I promise." Jack advised her, before leaving her alone once more.
Now fully dressed in her military uniform she checked her watch for the umpteenth time that morning and it read 08:59 she paced the room impatiently walking up and down the room like a caged animal. Her dad had been in about half an hour after Jack had left to see how she was doing, and was swiftly followed by General Hammond, Janet, Teal'c and Jonas. All had hugged her, and told her that it was going to be fine. Now after they had all left, Sam was stood in the stillness of the room, making her feel claustrophobic. Trying desperately to gather her thoughts and feelings, she felt very emotional, and just hoped that she would be able to hold it together.
Colonel Jessica Chapman arrived a couple of minutes after 09:00, and had gone through everything with her. As the time grew closer Sam felt heaviness in the pit of her stomach and she had to take some deep breaths to calm herself down; a feeling of dread washed over her. The time was coming up to 10:00 and as they headed out of her quarters, her brief gave her one last bit of advice.
"Major, before we go in. Try and keep things in perspective, I realise that what happened was very emotional for you, but you need to try and keep it together. Your colleagues will be called one by one to give their testimony, but they won't be present in the court room."
"What about my father? I need him there, Colonel." Sam asked nervously.
"I'm sorry Major, he'll be giving his testimony today, but you'll be able to see him afterwards, I promise." Seeing the fallen look on her face, she continued, "I'm sorry, I know that having him there would help, but it's just not possible at the moment."
Sam felt disheartened at the thought that he couldn't be there. Janet had told her that morning that her and Cassie would be there to see her through this, which gave Sam a great deal of comfort. They had known each other a long time, and Janet was like her big sister. Janet had stuck by her through all the good and bad times together, many a time they had spent all night talking about what had happened and where she would go from here if things didn't go her way. Janet knew all of Sam's hopes and fears, and would have given anything to stop this from preceding any further.
Colonel Jessica Chapman's voice disturbed Sam out of her silent reverie. "If you feel that things are getting too much for you, let me know, and I'll request a recess, okay?"
"Okay." Was all Sam could say at this moment, and they headed out of her quarters towards the hearing room. From what her father had told her, one of the old meeting rooms had been designated as the courtroom for this hearing due to the delicate nature of their work. The President had given them to hold the court martial here at the SGC, and Sam was grateful. This was her home, and the people here were her family. If things didn't go her way, then this would be the last place she would hold in her memory.
Entering the room, she noticed that they were more or less the first to arrive. By the looks of the number of files open on their desk, and it appeared as if the prosecution had arrived early.
"Councillor." Colonel Jessica Chapman acknowledged her counterpart.
"Councillor." Francis McGuire, the prosecuting attorney replied. "I'm surprised you agreed to take this case up? I would have thought with your history, you wouldn't want to have a hopeless case on your hands."
"Well, you know me Fran, I'm a sucker for hopeless cases. Probably why I stayed married to you for so long."
Jessica smiled and sat back down; she hated smugness. Never more so than when it came from her ex-husband.
Jessica patted Sam's arm lightly after seeing the worried expression on her face. "Don't worry, his barks worse than his bite, he likes to intimidate people. All you have to do is stay calm, and you'll be fine. Don't let him get you riled, because he'll just dig his heels in even further."
Janet and Cassie arrived first, and gave her a supportive smile. General Hammond followed slightly behind her, his head bowed in acknowledgement. His words brought a great deal of comfort to her, and she was glad he was on her side.
"I have every confidence in you Major, I'm sure everything will turn out fine."
Sighing deeply, Sam replied, "I hope so, Sir."
At 1030 hours exactly, the Judge Advocate General arrived.
"All rise," the officer of the court intoned. "This court is now in session. General Joe Myles presiding."
Sam bit her lower lip, and unconsciously held her breath as she stood beside her lawyer.
"Please be seated," General Myles ordered, taking his seat at the forefront of the courtroom.
Checking through his papers to ensure all documents were readily at hand, he acknowledge to the officer of the court to read out the charges brought against Major Samantha Carter.
"Major Samantha Carter – Service number, 36 - 6 – 349, the following charges have been brought against you;
Theft of Government property
Destruction of communications network
Actual bodily harm
Unauthorised use of weaponry
Unauthorised off world activation.
Treason.
"Do you understand the charges that have been brought against you?" General Myles asked, a sense of sternness and foreboding clearly evident in his manner.
"Yes, your honour." Sam replied looking directly at him, her hands tightly clasped behind her back; her body rigid with tension.
Glancing up from his papers, the Judge asked, "And do you plead guilty or not guilty to these charges.
Swallowing hard, Sam took a deep shaky breath, and let it out slowly. "Not Guilty, your honour."
"Very well, your pleas are noted. Take a seat."
Sam's hands shook slightly as she lowered herself into the chair, her mind raced with nervous energy, and she felt physically sick.
Crossing his hands in front of him, General Myles cleared his throat, "Before we commence with opening arguments. I am aware of the unorthodox nature of this courtroom, and the work that Stargate Command carries out. Due to the very nature of this controversial work, all records pertaining to this court martial will be sealed, and viewed by those who have the required security clearance. I do not need to hear about the work of the SGC, as I have been briefed prior to arrival. Councillors, I am fully aware of your reputations outside this establishment, and I will not put up with any untoward comments regarding each other. Have I made myself perfectly clear?"
Both JAG officers looked sheepishly at each other, and they answered in unison.
"Understood your honour."
"Very well, the prosecution may commence with their opening arguments." General Myles advised.
Standing up from behind his desk, Francis McGuire spoke with an underlying tone of despise regarding the Major's actions. He told how she willingly gave the Goa'uld access to key SGC systems, and used her access codes to obtain secure knowledge regarding one of their Allies secret base. The prosecution continued to advise the court that when Major Carter realised that she would be found out, she then purposefully sabotaged the consoles of the gate systems, thus allowing her to escape. Clearly and with malice he reiterated that in the course of escaping members of the security forces were injured in trying to apprehend her.
Sam closed her eyes in sadness, even though Jessica Chapmen had briefed her on how the prosecution would state their case, it still hurt her deeply. Throughout his arguments all she wanted was to have her CO stood beside her, telling her that it would be okay.
After several minutes it was Colonel Jessica Chapman's turn. In her speech, Sam saw the other end of the coin. The way her councillor described her efforts, Jessica made Sam out to be a heroine; who had done everything in her power to save the lives of friends. Continuing at length about how she had given up her own life in the process. The passion her councillor was evoking in her words took Sam's breath away.
Once the opening arguments had been concluded, General Myles called for a 20-minute recess. As the General left the room, a very tired Samantha Carter looked grateful at her lawyer.
"Thank you."
Jessica smiled and said, "I'm just getting started."
Turning towards her friends that could be present, Janet reached out her hand towards Sam, and said, "God, she was good. Do you feel a bit better, knowing that she believes in you, just as much as we do?"
"I don't know what to think, I'd heard she was good, but even she's got me convinced that I'm innocent." Sam replied slightly shocked.
"Hey, don't talk like that. You *are* innocent. So stop talking like your some wanted criminal." Janet berated her.
"Sorry. I'm glad you're here Janet. Where's General Hammond?"
"He went off to talk with Colonel O'Neill. Judging from the Colonel's behaviour this morning anyone would think that it was him on trial."
Sam smiled softly, "He's been great Janet. I don't know how I would have gotten through all this if he hadn't been there." Sam replied with all honesty.
With her voice barely above a whisper, Janet said softly, "Sam, I know how you feel about him."
"Janet." Sam said, a little shocked.
Cassie rolled her eyes at her mother's incessantness.
"No, listen. All I'm saying to you…as a friend. Be careful, you are both feeling… emotional at the moment, and that's completely understandable." Pausing for a second to let the words set in her mind she continued. "But, you also need to think rationally as well."
"I know that Janet. He's my friend and my CO, that's all." Sam knew that she was lying to herself and her friends, but she couldn't cope with these feelings now. If she gave into them now, she'd never be able to work with him again. It was sufficient for them both to know that they each cared for the other. Until the time came when they could be together, things would just have to stay as they were.
Seeing that Sam was getting flustered, she stopped the conversation dead. This wasn't the time or place to discuss it further.
Before she knew it, the court was being called back into session, and General Hammond took his seat once more.
"All rise."
General Myles looked at the councillors, specifically at the prosecution advising him to call his first witness; Jonas Quinn.
The court usher escorted him into the courtroom, and he took his oath. Both the prosecution and defence questioned him thoroughly regarding his actions that night, and those of Major Carter. Sam gave him a small smile, letting him know that anything he told them here today wouldn't affect their friendship.
The next witness to be called was Teal'c, he too gave his view on what took place over the course of several days from her unusual behaviour in the time leading up to her leaving the SGC, and them finding her in Amemait's torture chamber.
"So, what you're saying to the court, is that Major Carter raised her weapon against you and her own team mates, when they attempted to rescue her?" The prosecution goaded.
"Do not turn my words against me." Teal'c replied harshly. "Major Carter raised her weapon in self defence. At that time, she had been poisoned, and was unaware of who we were."
"But you admit she did raise her weapon in your vicinity." He argued.
"You do not hear the truth. You twist my words to suit your own needs. You speak of truth and honour. Major Carter has both of them traits within her and more, and she would never have harmed me or her colleagues."
The prosecution thought that Teal'c's response gave him the perfect opportunity to prove his point further, and the Alien man had just given him that opening.
"Mr Teal'c you say Major Carter would never hurt her colleagues, correct?"
"Yes."
"Yet, she blatantly injected Colonel O'Neill with poison. I would class that as hurting your colleagues, wouldn't you?" Fran McGuire baited.
"Major Carter was under mind control, she was unaware of her actions. She would not purposely hurt members of SG1." Teal'c retorted strongly, trying to hold his anger in check.
"Hmm, yet she recognised her father, when he attempted to stop her? Seems to me like she knew exactly what she was doing."
Colonel Jessica Chapman was incensed, "Objection your honour, this is supposition."
"Sustained."
"No more questions your honour." Fran McGuire advised smugly.
Jacob Carter was next to take the witness stand and things seemed to being from bad to worse; the prosecution appeared intent on hounding her father, as he had done with Teal'c and Jonas before him.
Jacob had got to the stage whereby he was so annoyed with the way his daughter was being portrayed that he lost his temper. All Sam could do was sit back and watch as her father let rip into the young man as he asked his next question.
"General Carter, when you discovered the location of your daughter and Colonel O'Neill, from accounts we've already received, your daughter was prepared to kill not only Colonel O'Neill, but you and other members of SG1, isn't that correct?"
"No."
"No?" The Prosecution queried in disbelief.
"My daughter would never hurt me or anyone else, and certainly not intentionally."
"How could you be so sure? She had already injected a lethal dose of poison into Colonel O'Neill, what made you think she wouldn't hurt you?"
"Do you have children Mr McGuire?" Jacob countered.
"No, but I don't see the relevance."
"Well let me tell you something, when you have children you teach them right from wrong. Sometimes they screw up or they lose their way, but you have to trust them unconditionally, and hope they make the right decisions. I know my daughter and I trust her judgement implicitly. I saw the torment in her eyes when she raised the hand device, now surely that say's something. If my daughter had planned this all as you seem intent on implying, then why didn't she kill us all there and then? Why does she feel guilty now, for things that were beyond her control? It's because that's not who my daughter is, she's not the traitor you've made her out to be in this courtroom. So if you have proof to the contrary, then I'd damn well like to hear it, because so far, all I've heard is you twisting the facts of this case."
"General Carter, forgive me for saying this, but you are her father, and as such are classed as a 'hostile witness', obviously you would take the side of your daughter in these types of proceedings."
"Son, if you think *this* is hostile, you haven't seen anything yet, I can assure you." Jacob countered angrily; his face turning crimson at the younger mans accusations.
Without missing a bit, he responded, "Thank you General, I believe I have what I need. No more questions your honour." Fran McGuire finished.
Once Jacob Carter had stepped down, the judge advocate checked his watch. "We will convene with the hearing tomorrow, councillors, please advise your witnesses.
Sam sat back into her seat, it was only the first day, and she didn't feel as if things were going particularly well for her. Closing her eyes in silent defeat, she felt a hand on her shoulder.
"Sam, c'mon, lets get you out of here." Looking up, she saw her best friend, showing signs of concern.
"It's not going well is it Janet?" Sam asked dejected.
"It's only the first day, Sam." Janet replied placing her arm around her. "Tomorrow will be better, Colonel O'Neill and you are due to testify in the morning."
"Yeah, I know. It's just…I don't know what I'd do if all this was taken away from, Janet. This is my life."
"It'll be fine, you'll see." Janet replied with more confidence than she felt.
Sam nodded solemnly. Walking out of the temporary courtroom she spotted her father and the Colonel sat on the benches waiting for them to reappear.
Jack gave her a small smile as she approached him, Sam smiled in return, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. Swallowing his nervousness, he asked, "How did it go?"
"Not good." Sam responded blankly. Turning towards her father, tears brimmed in her eyes, and she spoke softly. "Thanks Dad, for what you said in there, and I'm sorry for the way I acted before, I didn't mean to shut you out. I know I said some things that hurt you."
"Hey." Jacob said holding her daughter tightly. "Sam, I know things have been difficult for you. I also realise now how much this means to you. I'm just sorry it's taken me this long to realise it. I know I haven't always been there for you Sam, and if I could change the past, I would. I promise though, that you won't have to face this on your own, I'll be here for as long as you need me." Pulling slightly away from her, Jacob wiped the tears that fell precariously down her cheek, and took a sharp intake of breath in an effort to keep his own emotions in check.
"I'm sorry dad."
"It's not your fault Sam, if I was in your position, I probably would've done the same."
Jack shifted uncomfortably from one foot to another, he was never good with emotions, but when they came from his 2IC, he felt even more uncomfortable.
Turning towards Jacob, he stated simply, "You said some things, and hurt her feelings, she said some things, you've both apologised, now can we go and get some food, please? I'm starving?"
"Colonel." Janet remarked harshly.
"What! What did I say?"
Smiling slightly, Jacob replied, "It's okay Janet, I know what he's like."
Jack looked at him quizzically, not knowing if that was a good thing or not.
Jacob placed his arms gently around his daughters shoulder, and they all walked casually towards the commissary to get some food. Everyone made an effort to keep Sam's spirit up in preparation for tomorrow, but inside they felt it was a futile gesture, Sam remained silent throughout dinner, and excused herself early, saying it had been a long day.
"I'm finished too, fancy some company." Janet asked hopefully.
"Thanks Janet, but I'd rather be by myself." Sam replied wanting and needing some solitude.
"Oh, okay, if that's what you want." Janet responded a little hurt at her friend's rejection.
"It's nothing personal, Janet. Thanks for the offer though." Sam smiled slightly showing that she appreciated the offer.
Jack got up to follow and called out to her, "Wait up Carter."
"Sir, please I appreciate it, but I really do want to be alone."
Unlike Janet, Jack didn't take it personally. "Sorry Carter, I'm your shadow, remember." Sam sighed in response. "Look I know it's not been a great day for you, but I'll just walk you to your quarters and leave, okay?"
Silently the two walked together side by side through the empty corridors of the SGC, a slight uneasiness settled between them, both wanting to say something to the other, but neither sure if this was the right time or place. As they reached her door, Sam turned to face her CO, and said hesitantly. "About last night…thanks. I don't know how I would've gotten through today if you hadn't been there for me."
Jack's hand tapped softly against his legs. He knew from the pain reflected in her eyes that she was hurting, but he also knew that she needed some space. He desperately wanted to reach out and touch her, but there was too much at stake, and he didn't want her to get into any more trouble.
Taking a deep breath his replied, "Anytime." Clearing his throat he continued. "If you need me...um...or anything, give me a shout, okay?"
Sam nodded, closing her eyes briefly. Unconsciously she began biting down on her bottom lip, there was so much more she wanted to say to him. For the next few moments though she wrestled with her thoughts and feelings, her head over ruled her heart this time, and instead of sharing her feelings, she bid him goodbye.
Now sitting in her room alone, Sam felt utterly miserable. She knew that that the trial wouldn't be easy, but today was the first time she had been made to feel like a traitor to her friends; the prosecution made sure of that. Sam changed out of her uniform and lay softly on her bed waiting for morning to come.
As per Sam's request Jack didn't come and see her until the following morning, Sam had spent half the night worrying about what she would say once she got on the witness stand. The other half of the night she spent worrying about the Colonel. What ever happened she didn't want him to be put into a position whereby he had to lie for her. She needed to talk to him before the trial started, but her councillor arrived early and subsequently she lost the opportunity.
As they arrived at the entrance to the courtroom, Sam noticed the Colonel sitting outside with Jacob. Looking discretely over in his direction, Jack looked up at the same instant and their eyes locked. Silently they knew what the other was thinking and feeling, outwardly to their colleagues and family they remained at arms length.
"Dad. Colonel."
"Hey Sam, how are you?"
"I'm fine Dad. Bit tired...you know." Sam replied glancing more at her CO than her father.
"Hey Carter, you all set?" Jack asked quieter than his normal self.
"Sort of. Can I have a word in private, sir?"
"Major, it's time to go in." Colonel Chapman interrupted.
Sam shook her head at the Colonel's crap timing and muttered "Not now." Looking at her brief she implored, "Just a couple of minutes, please."
"I'm sorry Major. We need to be sat down now, we're already running late."
Sam's face reflected concern, her eyes showed an urgent need for them to discuss what they both would say once in the courtroom, and Sam felt the nervous energy build up inside her. Sighing inwardly, she shot Jack an apologetic smile and allowed herself to be taken through.
The court usher called for the trial to recommence, and Colonel O'Neill was due to take the stand next, her stomach churned as she watched him take the oath.
The judge nodded for the defence to cross-examine Colonel O'Neill's testimony, and Colonel Jessica Chapman stepped forward.
"Colonel O'Neill, just a few questions. You've served alongside Major Carter now for 6 years, could you tell me what sort of a person Major Carter is."
Jack smiled slightly, "She's the smartest women I know. I couldn't even tell you how many times she saved not only my butt, but also the whole planet's. She fights for what she believes in, and she's not afraid to give you her opinion if she doesn't agree with you." Jack answered smiling, remembering the time when they had argued like some old married couple, during the whole addiction to the light time. "She'd put her life on the line to save the people she cares about. I can honestly say that I have never met a more dedicated officer." Jack answered truthfully.
"And can you trust her now, knowing what happened."
"I trust her with my life and I would give my life for her" Jack answered honestly, "After everything we've been through, I know that she would do the same for me."
"You've been Major Carter's commanding officer for a long time, Colonel. In your opinion, why do you think Major Carter chose *not* to tell you about the Goa'uld on the DeAsha homeworld."
"Objection your honour."
"Overruled, I think Colonel O'Neill is qualified to answer."
"If there was another alternative, Major Carter would've found it. This…" Jack gestured to various people in the courtroom. "This is her life, and it means everything to her, she wouldn't purposely give it all up to take sides with an enemy she's been fighting against for the last six years. Major Carter risked her life to save the people she cared about, it's as simple as that."
"Thank you, Colonel. No more questions your honour."
The prosecution stepped forward asking, "Colonel O'Neill, please advise the court of when you first discovered that something was wrong."
"Major Carter had been quiet since we returned from the DeAsha homeworld."
"P6Z-247, is that correct?"
Jack shrugged, he never could remember any of the designated numbers, Daniel had been right in the beginning when he asked that they give them proper names.
"If you say so. Anyway, Major Carter had been quiet since we had got back, and I went to discuss it with her. She seemed kinda distant."
"And was there any indication when you were on the planet, to suggest that something was wrong with your new Allies."
Thinking back to how everything had gone, he answered simply 'No, not that I can recall, but then..."
"Thank you Colonel." Fran McGuire replied, cutting Jack off.
"I haven't finished my sentence." Jack stated angrily.
"You replied that you didn't notice anything out of the ordinary, and that's the information I required. Now moving on. Has Major Carter ever acted out of character before?"
"Objection your honour, Major Carter's past, has no relevance with what happened on that planet." Jessica Chapman argued.
"I'll withdraw your honour. Colonel, I have a report that states Major Carter failed to advise her commanding officer, even though she had misgivings about this Goa'uld. Isn't that correct."
Jack looked over at Sam, but she refused to look at him. Did she think he'd betrayed her trust? He'd never made mention anything about that in his report. The only time he'd discussed this with her, was when they were alone. What they had discussed that night was personal, and he was damned if he was going to elaborate on that.
"Colonel, did Major Carter fail to inform you of her misgivings?" The prosecution badgered.
"Yes, but…"
Cutting him off completely, Fran McGuire continued relentlessly with his questions.
"According to the information I have received, you gave her several opportunities to discuss it on your return did you not?"
"Major Carter would not risk the life of her friends, *that* was the reason she didn't tell me."
"What about the time on the planet, it's clearly detailed in this report that she didn't trust him. Doesn't that suggest something untoward?"
"What are trying to say? Major Carter planned all of this, that she deliberately allowed this 'Goa'uld' to come back with her?"
"I didn't say that Colonel, you did."
"I've met people like you before, and believe me when I say you wouldn't last two minutes in my unit. When you work as closely as we do, you have to rely on the person you're with to watch your six. If you can't trust them, casualties happen. I trust Major Carter implicitly, if she had proof that something was wrong, then she would've told me. Throughout this whole trial, you've acted like this is some kind of witch-hunt. You're not interested in who's innocent or guilty, you're just looking for a scapegoat."
Sam looked up sharply, she very rarely saw the Colonel get angry like this. She knew that he was blaming himself. As soon as she heard the words, Sam knew just where he was headed. Shaking her head she pleaded with her eyes for him to look at her, but all his concentration and anger were focused at the prosecution. After a few moments she realised that he must have heard her silent plea, and his head turned towards her. Her face reflected anguish at what he was about to suggest, and she mouthed the words, 'No'.
Jack was determined that she wasn't taking the rap for this, she'd already gone through so much. Ultimately he believed that it was his fault, he should've persisted more when he noticed that she wasn't herself. Regrets of his own erupted within and he replied tersely, "If you're looking for someone to blame here, then blame me. Ultimately I'm responsible for my team actions."
The JAG officer, knew exactly what the Colonel wanted, but whether he accepted this confession or not, it wasn't an issue. "Colonel, you are not on trial here, now if you'll just answer my questions. According to your report you set up a search team after Major Carter's disappearance, exactly how much time had passed before you could leave."
"I don't remember, maybe a day or so." Jack answered angrily.
"And the reasons for the delay Colonel?"
"You've read the report, it's all in there." Jack replied cagily.
"I'm asking you, Colonel."
"Major Carter, did something to the computers, so we weren't able to follow her immediately."
"Thank you." Handing over videotape to the adjudicator, he continued, "Your honour I submit exhibit A, it's a video tape of what happened on the night in question." Carrying on with his examination, he asked. "Colonel O'Neill, you have viewed the footage, is that correct?"
"Yes."
"Then in your opinion, did Major Carter appear of sound mind?"
"Objection your honour, the witness cannot speculate as to my client's state of mind on the night in question." The defence stated.
"I'll withdraw. Colonel O'Neill, when you attempted a search and rescue, can you describe the events that took place when you encountered the Goa'uld 'Jaret'." Fran McGuire requested checking in his notes to ensure the information was correct.
Sam's head remained lowered; she could barely look at him. Instead her eyes appeared transfixed to her hands clasped tightly together. Glancing over to her once more, he knew how painful it was for her, but he was helpless. The feelings of regret resurfaced to the forefront of his mind.
Lost in his silent reverie for a moment he failed to hear the prosecution call his name a second time. "Colonel, I asked you a question."
Realising that everyone was waiting for him to respond, Jack cleared his throat, and tried to control his rising emotions. It had been easy at the beginning, the words came out mechanically, but when he got to the events that led up to Sam's 'death', his voice became barely audible, and his gaze shifted to the floor.
"…it was then that Major Carter stopped breathing. We tried CPR, but it didn't work, we had to let her die to save her."
"Are you saying to the court that you allowed Major Carter to die, to save her? Excuse my stupidity Colonel…"
Jack muttered, "Unlikely."
Fran McGuire turned round quickly in response to those words, and decided at that point to ensure that he would give the Colonel a hard time from this point on.
"Colonel O'Neill, do you care for Major Carter?"
Sam's head suddenly snapped up in response to the prosecutions words, and Jack shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Looking over at his 2IC, he noticed that she had the same nervous look, and their eyes locked intently.
Unsure of how to phrase this, he sure as hell wasn't prepared to discuss his feelings about his 2IC in the middle of the courtroom, the feelings he had for her were private, and the only way he could find a way out of the question was to reply, "I care for all my staff."
"Then why did you allow her to die?"
"We had no choice." Jack replied softly. "Major Carter's injuries were too extensive, the only way we could bring her back was to let her go. I can't explain it."
"In your report you stated that it was Doctor Daniel Jackson who brought her back to life. Is that correct?"
"Yes."
"Yet, according to the SGC records, Doctor Jackson died several months ago." The prosecutions face took on a hint of scepticism at the Colonel's words. "Colonel, don't you think your story is somewhat lacking in credibility?"
Jack's fists clenched in anger, just who the hell did this guy think he was, as his anger bubbled to the surface, Jack rose from his seat and shouted, "Hey, you weren't there. Major Carter nearly died to protect this base from a Goa'uld. Many more people would have died if it wasn't for her, and you're questioning *my* credibility? Who the hell are you to judge what's credible. I'm telling you exactly what happened, and if you chose not to believe me, then that's your problem!"
"Sit down Colonel." General Myles ordered. Lowering his voice to that of a request that was not to be ignored he continued, ensuring that Colonel O'Neill fully understood the implications of his actions. "I'm warning you Colonel, if you step out of line again, I'll have you forcibly removed from this courtroom, is that understood?"
Trying to regain his equilibrium, he sat back down in his seat, and replied, "Yes sir."
Carrying on as if nothing untoward had happened, the prosecution continued. "Colonel O'Neill, you stated in your report that both you and Major Carter were captured by the Goa'uld shortly after she regained consciousness. You further state that you were taken aboard one of their crafts, whereby you allege both Major Carter and yourself were subjected to torture."
"Yes."
"Please describe to the court in what way you were tortured by Major Carter, and the injuries you sustained."
"Major Carter didn't inflict any torture on me." Jack replied.
"Excuse me Colonel, but in your report you state that she did. Are you now saying that you falsified reports?"
"No, what I'm saying is that physically it may have been Major Carter, but it wasn't her." Jack replied ambiguously.
"Would you care to elaborate?"
"I know Major Carter. I've known her for six years, and she knows me. The S…Major Carter I know wouldn't hurt me."
"Yet she miraculously remembered who you were when her father arrived. How many times did you tell her who you were? Two or three times, was it, before she plunged the toxin into your blood stream, Colonel?"
Sam shuddered at the callousness of his words; he was enjoying this. A cold sweat crept over her, and she felt physically sick. Even though she knew it hadn't happened like that. To hear it spoken aloud made her feel as if her actions had been cold and calculating, and she was sure the jury would see it that way to. Her eyes brimmed with tears at the harsh reality of it all, and she felt herself giving up. She closed her eyes in an effort to shield herself from her own pain, and the pain she was causing Colonel O'Neill. She'd never meant for him to have to re-live his own pain.
Feeling his anger rise once more he answered, "Have you ever been subjected to torture? No, I doubt it, otherwise you wouldn't ask such a stupid question." Jack replied harshly not allowing him to speak for once. "Well I have, and let me tell you something from personal experience, the reason they call it 'mind control' is because it screws with your mind. You get to a point whereby you don't know what's going on from one minute to the next, so unless you've been through it yourself, you should keep your comments to yourself."
"Thank you for that colourful speech Colonel, now please answer the question. How many times did you tell Major Carter who you were."
Jack sighed with frustration; he felt like he was talking to a brick wall. He'd been right about his earlier assessment; this wasn't a trial, it was a witch-hunt.
"I don't know, I had other things on my mind at the time." Jack replied coolly.
"Would you say more than three times or less?"
There was no way this, man would let this go, and he honestly didn't remember. He looked over to Carter for support, she looked as if she'd lost her best friend, and he knew her hopes were fading fast.
"I told you, I don't remember."
"Very well Colonel. No more questions your honour."
Sam sighed, she felt physically sick. Her stomach churned continuously, and a cold sweat came over her. Placing her head in her hands, she felt like giving up. She couldn't understand why the judge was allowing the prosecution to badger her friends like this.
"The witness is dismissed. We'll reconvene in 30 minutes." The judge ordered, allowing himself to some time to assimilate the information.
Stepping down from the plinth he walked past both the prosecution and defence stations. Fran McGuire smiled smugly at him, and Jack felt an overwhelming urge to punch the man's lights out. Never in his military career had he come across someone so antagonistic. Jack felt as if the man was taking Carter's actions personally, and his frustration with the Judge Advocate General to allow this line of questioning, threatened to rise to the surface. Glancing over to his 2IC, he could see that she had given up. Her eyes glazed over as if she was withdrawing into herself, and he felt like he'd failed her all over again.
After the court broke for recess, he along with the others made their way down to the defence table. Jacob was the first to reach her, and he placed a comforting arm around her shoulder. "Sam, it's going to be okay."
Sam stood up and replied sadly, "I don't think it is Dad. You heard him, he made it seem like I planned this all along. What's the point in me even taking the stand, I'm sure the jury have already made up their mind." Sam finished dejectedly.
Jack was incensed, he wasn't prepared to let her give up yet, he hadn't and he was gonna make damn sure that she didn't either. Forcefully turning Sam to face him, he spoke angrily, concern seeping through in his words. "Carter, snap out of it."
"Jack." Jacob advised warningly.
Completely disregarding the elderly man, he held up his hand to add more weight to his words. "Stay out of it Jacob."
With the heated emotions of the day's events everyone was fired up, but none more so, than Jack. He was not prepared to let her go down this route, not if he could help it. Pulling her to one side, he turned his back away from his friends and colleagues. What he was about to say was personal, and had nothing to do with anyone but him and Sam. For too many years he had hidden behind some façade that she didn't mean anything more than a work colleague, but now he needed for her to hear the words.
"Sam, do you know why I haven't retired yet?"
Completely taken aback by his question, she didn't know what the hell that had to do with anything. "I don't know?" Sam replied in all honesty. "I suppose because you care about the work you do."
"It's not the job I care about Sam, it's the people that I work with; one in particular. Every day we work side by side, and push our feelings to one side. The only reason I stay in this job is because of you. I couldn't imagine coming to work and not having you there."
Sam's lips trembled at his words; she knew this wasn't easy for him. Her heart flipped at the passion in his voice, and the tears threatened to come once more.
"Sam, I know these last few weeks haven't been easy for you, but it seems more than that. I miss the old Carter." Jack stated sadly, his hands playing listlessly by his side. His insides churned at the thought of holding her in his arms, he desperately wanted to take away the pain that she was feeling.
"I don't think she's coming back, sir." Sam replied honestly.
"Sam, if you go on that stand with that attitude, then you may as well throw in the towel now. I want the Sam Carter I know to fight for what she believes in, just like when we first met. I know you feel as if you've lost control of your life Sam, but it's time to stop acting like a victim, and take back what you lost. What's happened in the past can't be changed, but you sure as hell can change what happens here today."
Sam looked at him intently, normally he was a man of very few words, but today she felt as if he'd let her into his heart.
"So what do you say?" Jack asked hopefully.
"I say my dad's going to be ticked at you for talking to him like that."
Without missing a beat he replied, "He'll forgive me, he loves me like a…"
"Like a what?" Sam replied wanting to know the answer, like a brother, or son...in law? As the thoughts mulled in her head, she thought, her dad wasn't the only one.
"Never mind." Jack's replied hastily as a little voice appeared in his mind, oh now would be such a good time to change the subject. "So, you gonna get on that stand and kick some ass?"
"Bit difficult in this skirt, sir."
Jack smiled serenely, and shifted his eyes towards the lower half of her body.
"Sir!" Sam replied incredulously.
"Oh, I don't know Carter, you sure as hell could do some damage with those heels."
Sam smiled, the first genuine smile of the day. He knew just the right words to put her back on track. She knew it wasn't going to be easy, but knowing that he was her with her made things a little easier to deal with. He was right, over the last few weeks she had felt as if she'd lost control of her life, but now she was taking it back. If anyone stood in her way, they'd have a fight on their hands.
Walking back towards the others, Jacob met her halfway asking, "Everything okay, Sam?" His eyes heavily set on one Colonel Jack O'Neill. Suspiciousness lurked beneath his eyes, wondering what it was he actually said to his daughter. Another part of him didn't really want to know.
"Fine dad, Colonel O'Neill just needed to remind me of a few things." Sam answered giving Jack a knowing smile, and in response his eyes twinkled at the double meaning.
Within a few minutes the court was called back into session, and Sam was up next, but instead of being the disheartened person she was half an hour ago, she took a deep breath and prepared herself for what was to come. As she was called to the witness stand, a little voice played in her head, "Okay, Sam. Time to kick ass."
As the prosecution approached the stand, Sam held a look of pure determination, and the voice in her head grew louder, "Go on give it your best shot, because I'm not going down without a fight." Jack was right; she had wallowed in self-pity for too long. One thing was for sure, she wasn't prepared to take any crap from this man.
"Major Carter, in your statement you claim that the entity followed you to your home and lay in wait for you, you further stated that he injected you with some chemicals, to read your thoughts. Surely if that was the case, he would have been aware of the Tok'ra address."
"No," Sam replied confidently, "The Tok'ra have had problems some problems recently. So they advise us where their next location will be. I didn't know until we received the signal."
"And at what stage did you advise Colonel O'Neill of your findings?"
"I didn't." Sam replied calmly.
"Don't you think that's a little strange, Major? An entity comes through the Stargate, takes you hostage and requests you provide your allies locations, and you don't advise your commanding officer?"
"No, I don't. I had two choices. I could either allow members of the SGC to be killed, or attempt to seek assistance from the Tok'ra. I chose the latter." Sam replied coldly.
"Major, the videotape evidence shows you stealing supplies on the night that you allowed the alien access to the SGC. It also shows you clearly sabotaging key systems. Please can you explain why you felt it necessary to continue with this course of action."
"I agree my methods may have seen unorthodox to you, but maybe you could tell me what alternative I had. At one point I tried to advise Colonel O'Neill, but it nearly killed him. It was at that point I realised that I was on my own. I hoped by sabotaging the control centre of the gate it would ensure that no one else would get hurt."
"But people were hurt though, weren't hey Major? I'm referring to Jonas Quinn, and several SF's that attempted to thwart your escape."
Sam chewed on her lip as she recalled the memory of that night, " I couldn't help Jonas, I tried, but… Jaret had beaten me so badly. I couldn't stop him attacking Jonas, and you will have no idea how hard it was for me to just lie there and watch him hurt my friend." Sam answered sadly.
"Yet you somehow managed to destroy the gate systems, immediately after you claimed to be incapacitated? So please can you explain how you managed it?"
Fury burned deep within her and she pulled together all her anger, to counteract his line of questions. "When Jonas was attacked." Sam answered heatedly "I wanted to kill Jaret for what he did, but he was too far away. If I had tried to stop him, people would have died. The only way I could guarantee no one else getting hurt was to ensure we both got out as quickly as possible. When you're put into a life threatening position like that, adrenaline takes over, and you survive on fight or flight mode."
"And what about the injuries, you caused to the SF's?"
"It wasn't me. It was Jaret who threw the plasma balls down the corridor."
"The plasma balls that *you* obtained from the supply locker?" Fran corrected himself, annoyed that she had managed to get one over on him.
Inwardly Sam grinned, she could see the man losing his composure slightly, and that gave her the strength to carry on. "Yes, I had hoped to use them against Jaret, but I lost the opportunity."
Sam who remained her concentrated effort on the man in front of her and so failed to see the grin from Jack, at the fact that she'd stood her ground.
"Major, please advise the court of the events that took place on the planet."
"I don't remember very much, just little bits." Sam replied honestly.
"Can you recall the events of your time in the cave?"
"Not really, you see I was dead at the time?"
Fran was getting frustrated at the lack of progress, and the fact that she remained so 'together', annoyed the hell out of him. "I meant after your apparent return to the land of the living."
"Have you ever died, Captain?" Sam enquired.
"No."
"Well, let me explain a few things to you about being 'dead'. You don't tend to remember very much about what happened. So I'm sorry I can only remember a couple of things, and nothing that would be pertinent to this enquiry." Sam answered cautiously. She didn't want to reveal the fact that when she awoke she was lying in the Colonel's arms, and hoped that he wouldn't call her on it.
"Fine, if I could move on then Major to the events on the Goa'uld craft."
"Certainly." Sam replied outwardly confident. Inside however, the nervousness threatened to engulf her and she shifted uncomfortably in her seat.
"Could you advise the court what took place after you and Colonel O'Neill were captured."
"We were taken to see the system lord, and it was at that point, Amemait wanted to…um…have me." Sam answered softly. "Colonel O'Neill intervened, and he was shot with a staff weapon."
Jack listened intently to her words; she'd never gone into detail about what happened on that first night when she had been left alone with that snake. He knew that she felt uncomfortable revealing her innermost thoughts and feelings about what happened, and his heart went out to her. He never pushed her to tell him what went on, because he knew that when she was ready, she'd tell him. Now though the prosecution had pushed her into a corner, one with which she couldn't escape.
Sam felt her throat restrict, and she swallowed in an effort to clear it; but it remained. Biting down on bottom lip, she tried not to look at the Colonel. It was difficult enough for herself without having to worry about how he'd react. She had so far spared his feelings, because of the regrets he had for his actions that night. Now though, she didn't have a choice.
"After Colonel O'Neill left, Amemait injected me with some mind altering drug, he made me believe that my worst nightmares had come true." Sam's voice shook with emotion. "He played with my mind, all the time keeping me high on drugs, each time they would wear off, he'd inject me again." Sam closed her eyes tightly in an effort to rid herself off the memories that tumbled to the surface. "He stuck this metal probe on my head. The spikes sent an electrical current through my brain, and I screamed over and over again, hoping that someone could help me." A single tear trickled down her face, and she could no longer keep up the pretence of the 'strong soldier'.
"And did anyone come to your aid?" The prosecution asked softly, now feeling some sympathy for the Major. One look at her face made him realise that she wasn't some calculated traitor, here sat before him was a person of courage, and he felt ashamed that he had doubted her.
"No. No one came." She replied, her lips quivering at the effort.
Jessica Chapman stood up to request a break, but Sam interjected.
"No, please. I'm okay to carry on." Finally looking up, she glanced over to where her friends were sat, in disbelief. They had read her report on the incident, but it had seemed so clinical. Janet watched as her friend seemed intent on struggling alone.
Jack's face paled significantly at her last words, "No one came." They had discussed her feelings of being abandoned, and his guilt at leaving her, but he would never be able to get those words out of his head. No matter how hard he tried; it was something that he'd have to live with for the rest of his life.
"Major Carter, you state in your report that you attacked Colonel O'Neill once you were returned to your cell, can you explain why you did that?"
"I didn't know who he was at first, and I lashed out. Once the drugs wore off I began to recognise him, but even then I still wasn't 100% sure what was real and what was a hallucination."
"I appreciate that this is difficult for you Major. I just have a couple more questions."
Jack and Jacob looked at each other in shock. Jonas turned to Teal'c who had remained silent throughout. Each of them showed surprise at the man's undeniable change of heart. Neither of them realised just at what stage he had changed his attitude, and none of them cared, particularly. They were just grateful, that he was allowing her to speak at her own pace.
"Major, why did you plunge the vial into Colonel O'Neill's chest?"
"I felt as if my mind was split in two. It was as if someone else was hurting him. I heard him talking to me softly, saying that he forgave me, and I felt enraged. Amemait had played with my mind so much that I didn't know who I was hurting. I can't explain it. I remember my hand wavering over his chest, but then everything got mixed up. Amemait was shouting at me, and I got confused. I didn't know what was happening, and I honestly believed that the man lying on the table planned to kill me and other members of SG1." With her voice barely above a whisper, she felt as if she was the only person in the room, her body shivered at the effort of the last few words "I had to stop him, and that's when I injected him."
The courtroom remained deathly silent throughout the time Major Carter spoke, and it was if they were giving her the silent strength to carry on.
"One last question, Major."
"When did you realise it was Colonel O'Neill?"
Wistfully she replied, "It wasn't what he said. Even when my father spoke to me, I barely recognised him. It was a look the Colonel gave me, I remembered seeing it somewhere before."
"What do you mean; a look? Can you describe it?"
She looked intently over at Jack, and all eyes turned inward towards him, and watched as he squirmed uncomfortably in his seat. His brain threatened to go into overload at the looks he was receiving. Jacob knew exactly what the look was, but hoped it wasn't *that* look that his daughter was referring to.
Sam spoke sadly, "One of Colonel O'Neill's best qualities is that he cares deeply for his team. He would rather die himself than leave one of us behind. I looked in his eyes and saw a look of regret, regret that he'd never get me back, and that's when I realised who I had hurt."
Jack sighed inwardly thankful for small mercies.
"No more questions your honour."
"I have no questions your honour." Jessica Chapman said somewhat relieved that her ex-husband had allowed the young women to speak freely, and as he moved back towards his side of the room, she mouthed to him 'Thank you'.
"Very well, if there are no more questions from either the prosecution or defence the witness may step down."
Sam felt as if she was floating, she couldn't believe it was nearly over, and very shortly she would find out her own fate. It was hard to believe that it was only a few weeks ago that her life had been problem free, and now here she sat waiting for her fate to be decided at the hands of people she had never met.
"If the prosecution would like to make their closing arguments first, then the defence. Once your arguments are heard we'll adjourn for a brief time, and then I'll come back with a verdict."
The closing arguments brought forth by both parties seemed to go for an eternity as Sam sat tight-lipped, her body taught with tension. No matter what they both said now, she knew that the evidence had already been provided, and that this was just them, summarising the events of the last few days, and Sam allowed herself a few minutes to think about how her life would be if things didn't go her away. Lost in thought, she didn't even hear the Judge call for a recess. It was all over now, and she waited on baited breath for the verdict.
Jessica Chapman spoke first after the judge's departure from the courtroom, she took in the young women's pallor and realised that more than anything, Sam needed to be with her family. It would be a while before a verdict was ready, and she looked as if she needed lots of support. "It's going to be a few hours Major. Why don't you spend some time with your family? I'll call you when it's time."
"How do you think it went?" Sam asked cautiously. In Sam's mind, the only reason her brief told her to spend time with her friends was because she believed it wouldn't go her way.
"To be honest, I don't know. What I do know is, that you need them right now, and judging from the looks on their faces..." She answered pointing to her colleagues, "I think they need you to, so go on. I'll see you later."
Sam smiled softly at the councillor, "Thank you for everything you've done for me. I appreciate it."
"Your welcome, its all part of the service."
Walking slowly to her waiting friends she was instantly greeted with a hug from her father, and she suddenly felt as if she were a small child again. "You did good, kiddo."
Pulling slightly away from him she answered, "Thanks dad."
Everyone else gathered around her and she had never felt so much love and hope in her life. Whatever happened next, she knew that they would never leave her. Her eyes searched the crowd of faces, for that one person. She spotted him standing slightly away from everyone to give her some space, and she smiled slightly in his direction. The smile went unnoticed by everyone except for the person to who it was intended for, and he nodded with understanding.
For the next few hours the feelings were tense and awkward after they left the courtroom, they all tried to lighten the moment, but couldn't quite pull it off, because they didn't know if this was the last time they would all be together.
Sam remained quiet throughout, and each time they tried to engage her in the conversation, but her heart wasn't in it. There was so much she wanted to say to them all, but she couldn't find the words.
"Try and eat something, Sam." Janet badgered for the third time.
"I can't Janet. I feel sick to my stomach. I just want this all to be over with, once and for all."
"I know you do Sam, but starving yourself, won't make the time go any quicker. Please Sam, for me?"
"I'll try."
Janet gave her a comforting smile, but she knew full well it was a futile gesture, instead she watched her friend stare emptily at the plate in front of her, carelessly moving the food from one side of the plate to the other. After an hour of shuffling her food back and forth, Sam's patience reached breaking point. She felt as if fire ants crawled through her skin. Usually she was the patient one, but not today. All she wanted to do was get out of this building and as far away from here as possible. Feeling as if she would explode if she stayed a moment longer, she jumped up with an alacrity and excused herself, leaving behind several bewildered faces.
As she purposely strolled down the empty corridors of the SGC, she heard a voice call after her. Her face contorted into one of protest, and she turned round to face her CO jogging to catch her up.
"Where are you going?" Jack asked, concern evident in his voice.
"I'm sorry, Sir. I just have to get out of here for a while." Sam answered slightly agitated.
"Carter, you're not planning on doing something stupid are you?"
"No, I just need to get out of this place for a little while, sir."
Jack's eyebrows rose in surprise, cocking his head to one side in disbelief, because he sure as hell didn't think he'd ever hear that coming from her mouth. "Did I hear correctly? You want to actually, leave the base? That's a first."
Sam wasn't in the mood though, and gave him one of her 'looks' that indicating she was not impressed.
Seeing that he ticked her off he apologised, "Sorry, it's just that I normally have to order you off the base."
"It's not that. I just needed some fresh air."
"On your own?"
"I'm not very good company at the moment, sir."
"Yeah, well, that makes two of us." Jack replied honestly. "And, since misery loves company…I kinda thought?"
"Are you speaking as my CO, or my chaperone?"
"Neither, I'm speaking as… your very good friend."
"Very diplomatic, sir." Sam answered quickly, not buying it for one minute. Nevertheless it did manage to coax a smile from her lips.
"Thanks, I try my best." Jack smiled in return. Walking purposefully down the corridors he left her standing in the middle of the corridor. Turning back to face her he asked, "You coming?"
Shaking her head in disbelief she walked over to join him, both walking side by side, each as nervous as the other.
Walking in silence, they made there way out of Cheyenne Mountain, and out into the sunshine. Sam careered over to the grassy knoll, and plonked herself down on the ground. Jack turned his head eyeing up the SF's that guarded the perimeter. He could just imagine what was going through their minds as he watched Carter, a senior ranking officer plonk herself down.
"Um, Carter. You do remember that you've got your dress uniform on, don't you?"
Squinting in the sunlight she gazed up at him, and he looked at her with a quizzical expression on his face at her acting so, 'un-Carter' like.
"I know." Sam replied.
"Oh! Well as long as we've cleared that up." Jack replied nonchalantly, sitting down next to her.
They both sat in silence taking in the scenery around them, after a few minutes, Jack began to get uncomfortable.
"What are you thinking?" Jack asked quietly to ensure no one heard them.
"I'm thinking, that this might be the last time I see this place."
"Sam." Jack replied saddened that she was thinking like this.
"Don't, sir."
"Don't what?" Jack asked confused.
"Don't make this harder than it already is, sir." Sam answered softly.
"You don't know what I was going to say." Jack replied matter of fact. Truth was she did know, and he knew it.
"Yes I do."
"No you don't. You only think that you know what I know, but you don't *really* know." Jack replied playfully.
It had become a game for them in the beginning, both flirting subtly with the other for the last six years. He couldn't remember when she had crept past his defences, but she had, and he was a better person because of it. For too long he'd lived without feeling, particularly after Charlie had died. Then, like a breath of fresh air, she'd caught him off guard, and he'd fallen in love with her.
If they'd met some other time and place things would have been different, but they'd both made a choice.
Sam smiled at the playful banter, "I just want you to know…"
"I know."
"I know you know, but I'm going to say it anyway." Sam replied honestly. If things didn't work out for her, she might never get the courage to say it again. Trouble was it was easier said than done, for so long she had kept her feeling for him private. Now though, she wanted him to hear how she felt, but she couldn't find the words.
After a few minutes of waiting, he lent forward and whispered, "It's not easy is it?"
"No, it's not." Sam replied sadly. "Do you think it's always going to be like this?"
"I hope not." Jack replied truthfully. He hoped at one point they could admit openly that they loved each other, but it just wasn't going to happen. It certainly wouldn't while they both served alongside each other. They had chosen their careers, and unless one of them decided to retire or Sam got promoted, they would be left in limbo…waiting. "Sam, while we're on this whole honesty thing, I think there's something you should know."
This piqued Sam's interest, "What is it?"
"Your dad knows."
"What!" Sam gasped.
"He guessed!" Jack lied.
"He guessed?" Sam retorted in disbelief.
"Well, kind of."
"I can't believe you told him." Sam answered without adding the 'sir'; it didn't seem to go with this kind of honesty.
"I didn't actually say…" Jack gestured. "… 'It'!"
"Then *what* exactly did you say?"
"I just said, 'About, Sam and me', and he said he knew, so…"
Sam shook her head with disbelief, at the fact that her dad knew. "I can't believe it."
Now feeling highly embarrassed he stated simply, "I think he's known for a while, but didn't want to say anything."
"You don't think he'll…"
"No, no. God I hope not." Jack replied finishing her sentence for her.
"So, where do we go from here?" Sam asked not expecting to get an answer.
"Honestly?"
Sam nodded for him to continue.
"I don't know."
Truth is, she didn't know either. Both lapsed into silence once more. After a few minutes, Jack got up and wiped off the grass cuttings from his uniform. He took one last look at his 2IC, and asked, "You ready?"
Taking a long deep breath, she took stock of what she was going back into, and gazed up at him. His hand outstretched to help her up. Grasping it, like a lifeline, she pulled herself up. Both looked at each other longingly as if savouring every minute.
"Let's go Major."
"Yes, sir."
Both smiled sadly at having to go back to being Colonel Jack O'Neill and Major Samantha Carter. They knew their day would come, but it wouldn't be today.
Walking back towards the commissary, they were greeted by Jacob. A worried expression reflected in the elderly man's face. They didn't need to ask, they knew – the verdict was in.
"I was just coming to get you, one of the SF's said you had headed topside." Jacob advised with concern. "You okay, kiddo?"
"Fine dad. I just needed some fresh air."
"You ready?" Jack asked as butterflies formed in his stomach. If *this* was how *he* felt, he couldn't imagine what Sam was going through.
"As I'll ever be, sir."
They walked in silence to the courtroom; Colonel Jessica Chapman was outside waiting for them. Surrounded by her friends and colleagues, Sam felt herself becoming emotional at the support they were giving her, but she couldn't speak.
Within a few minutes of them taking their respective seats. The court usher announced the return of General Joe Myles and they all stood in respect of his presence.
Sam felt he heart beat increase exponentially, and the all too familiar knots formed deep within her stomach. Her breath caught in her chest as she waited for the General to announce her fate. She glanced back and took one last look at her friends and family, tears glistened in her eyes, but she was determined that they wouldn't fall.
Clearing his throat, he spoke eloquently and with purpose. An uncomfortable silence befell the courtroom and they all waited with baited breath for him to speak.
"Before I began, there are a few things I'd like to say regarding the SGC. First of all, it concerns me greatly that I have been asked to oversee this trial, in light of its delicate nature. I only became aware of this facility recently, and to be asked to conduct a trial of treason disturbed me further. As far as I was concerned, this base and its staff have an enormous responsibility in ensuring that the residents of this planet remain safe. When I heard that Major Carter who had been entrusted with that responsibility had abused her authority, I was appalled."
Sam heard the words, and felt sickened that he felt this way. Her hands lay shakily in her lap and she closed her eyes in sadness, and she knew her fate had been sealed.
"I've heard the testimonies from both the defence and prosecution, and I happen to agree with the prosecution that Major Carter's actions left a lot to be desired. It was not something that I had come to expect from a Major in the United States Air Force. It is the responsibility of any serving member to keep their superiors apprised of any untoward situations. I believe that it is doubly important when it comes to off world activities. I appreciate the stress that Major Carter was placed under and the options that were available to her at the time. However that does not negate from the fact that she made the initial wrong decision by not informing her commanding officer, Colonel Jack O'Neill."
Sam's head lowered in shame, she couldn't bear to listen anymore. Her insides racked with guilt, and she swallowed back the sickness that rose from her stomach.
Members of the SGC looked at each other in shock as they listened intently at the opening statement of the JAG officer. Their faces paled at the thought that their friend would certainly be charged and sentenced.
"With regards to the wounding of SGC personnel, I am satisfied by Major Carter's testimony that she was not in fact responsible for the injuries to the security forces. I am also forced to acknowledge the supplies that were taken. I do not believe that there is sufficient evidence to suggest that they were in fact stolen, and as such I believe these charges should be dropped and recorded as such."
Taking a sip of water before he continued General Joe Myles looked down at the face of the young women before him. Sam felt a gaze upon her, and lifted her head to meet his eyes. She felt as if he was reading her soul, and she pleaded that he put her out of her misery.
Clearing his throat one last time, he continued. "Major Carter, your crime of treason cannot be dismissed so lightly. Your inaction from the beginning set off a course of that couldn't be avoided. In doing so, you have been charged with a treasonous act - in which leniency cannot be an option within the United States Air Force."
Sam felt her heart slam against her chest as he spoke directly to her, his eyes displaying his displeasure at her actions or lack thereof, and she held her breath, waiting for the words to put her out of her misery. Colonel Joe Myles indicated for her to stand as he prepared her for his concluding verdict.
"Major Carter, in your statement and evidence provided here in this court, you freely acknowledged your role in providing secret locations of your allies to a known enemy. In doing so risked your own life and other members of the SGC. I cannot condone the actions you took regarding the Alien 'Jaret', but I do accept that there were exceptional reasons for doing so. I was disturbed to hear the length you went to protect the people that you work with and the consequence of your decision ultimately cost you your own life. I also heard how you were subjected to treatment that no person should suffer, and as a result of this torture, your intention was to take the life of your commanding officer. With all the information pertained by this enquiry and from the medical reports submitted by the chief medical officer, I am satisfied that on two separate occasions you were subjected to physical and mental suffering which in turn resulted in you performing acts against your will. Given this evidence, I am satisfied that the charges of actual bodily harm and Treason are not well founded."
Sam's eyes grew wide with shock, and she felt her whole body tremble at his statement. Her legs felt as if they would give way if she stood for much longer, and she wasn't quite sure if what she heard was correct until the judge made his final announcement.
"It is the opinion of the court that all charges relating to Major Carter should be dropped as I find the defendant not guilty. My business here is concluded and this courtroom is dismissed."
As soon as the judge left, Sam sank into her chair, as she felt her legs collapse beneath her. A voice echoed through her mind, reiterating continuously, 'not guilty'. Never in her life had she felt such relief at those two little words. Her hands trembled as she wiped the tears from her eyes, the bustle of the courtroom echoed around her and she felt hands placed upon her. Hearty congratulations were echoed by her brief as she stood aside allowing her family and friend to be near her. It was all too much for her, and she felt herself lean in to her father's warm embrace, not wanting to let go. For several minutes she stayed in his arms soaking up her father's love and warmth. He had stood by her through everything. All the times she had felt a failure in the eyes of her father, were banished completely from her mind, as he whispered, "I knew you could do it, kiddo. You have your mother's strength and courage and I'm so very proud of you." Jacob pulled her away from him slightly so he could look directly into her face as he announced affectionately, "I love you Sam."
Within moments of him releasing her she was surround by everyone else who had waited patiently by her side. Seeing their beaming smiles caused a lump to form in her throat and she couldn't get the words out to say 'Thank you'. As the tears of relief dissipated, an infectious smile lit up her whole face, her eyes twinkled with contentment and she believed that and once she started, she couldn't stop. Janet and Cassie hugged her simultaneously, neither one of them wanting to let her ago.
Once Janet and Cassie had released her, General Hammond walked over and held out his hand in congratulations. His voice echoed that of a proud father, "Well done, Major. I know it hasn't been easy for you these last few weeks, so when you're done here, come to my office and we'll discuss a well deserved break."
Sam smiled in appreciation, she felt as if she'd run the gauntlet with her emotions, and she really did need some time alone to come to terms with everything that had happened. All she wanted was a nice relaxing few weeks off, somewhere quiet and relaxing without a soul in sight, and she knew of just the place. "Thank you, sir. I really would appreciate the time off."
"I believe you deserve it. We'll talk later, you've still got quite a few people to see who want to congratulate you." General Hammond advised happily, relieved that justice in this case had prevailed.
Stood behind General Hammond were Jonas and Teal'c. Jonas hovered for a few minutes unsure if he should give her a hug or not. He still wasn't sure if Major Carter was okay with what he had told the court, and hesitated slightly. Sam sensing his nervousness stepped forward and hugged him, then kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you Jonas, for everything you did here. I know it wasn't easy for you, but I appreciate it."
Releasing him she moved over from Teal'c, and couldn't resist grinning from ear to ear. "My friend, I'll never forget what you did for me, or how you stuck up for me. I don't have the words to tell you how grateful I am, not only for what you said here, but also for your patience and silent strength, I'll never forget what you did for me. Thank you Teal'c for everything."
Unbeknown to her, watching over her like a Guardian Angel; Daniel smiled contentedly. A part of him felt sad that he couldn't be there to help her celebrate, and he whispered softly, "I'll always be with you, Sam."
Sam felt a light breeze brush past her, and felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up, but instead of making her feel cold, she closed her eyes; embracing the warmth of it. She knew who it was, and a sad smile played on her lips as she remembered her friend, and what he'd almost given up for her.
There was just one more person she needed to see, her commanding officer and her friend. He meant so much more to her than that, and she wrestled with the emotions that he was invoking within her. His smile touched her heart and their eyes locked intensely – no words were necessary, they both knew exactly what they other was thinking, as his hand reached out to hers. Their fingers brushed slightly, and Sam felt a tingle of electricity go through her. His eyes sparkled and she was sure he felt it to.
Breaking the intensity, they looked around and she saw her friends waiting patiently at the doorway for her to join them. Smiling contentedly h let go of her hand and said, "C'mon Major, I'll buy you dinner."
"I thought you'd never ask." Sam replied happily, allowing Jack to lead her out of the courtroom, his arm gently placed on her back, escorting her to her friends and family. It was a simple gesture that brought shivers down her spine.
***
It had been three weeks since she had been found not guilty of the charges brought against her. She pent the last couple of weeks on leave, and she was grateful that she'd taken it; the rest and relaxation had done her the world of good. When General Hammond had advised her that SG1 had also been given some time off, she made sure that she had spent some quality time with them. Their friendship had been strained during the last month, and she wanted to make sure that she still had their trust and friendship. They had all made it perfectly clear that nothing had changed between them, but in Sam's mind there was still that niggling doubt of uncertainty, a darkness that lurked in the shadows, occasionally rearing it's ugly head. Now though two weeks on she felt more comfortable with not only with her friends, but herself as well.
Janet had told her that it would still take time to come to terms with everything that had happened, but she had no qualms in convincing Sam that she would be her normal self in no time, she just needed a little reassurance now and again.
It was her first day back at work since the court martial, and she felt as if it were her first day in school, little butterflies settled in her stomach as she walked down the murky grey corridors. As she walked towards the General's office, several work colleagues acknowledged her with a slight bow of their head, and she smiled in return; it was good to be home.
Settling back into work had been relatively easy, each member of her team diplomatically kept checking on her. When she'd confronted them they had all denied it, but she knew who it was that sent them; Colonel Jack O'Neill. She thought it was quite sweet really, because she knew that both Teal'c and Jonas weren't very good at pretending. They would individually come in to her Lab, asking stupid questions, or stating that they'd run out of office supplies, and it had been nice that they cared about her so much, particularly in the first few days, but two weeks later, it had begun to get on her nerves.
Walking towards his office, she knocked on his door, and saw that his desk had become overloaded with paperwork.
Jack's face held a look of frustration as he tried to complete the overdue reports that seemed content on multiplying. I f he didn't know better, the files on his desk had been rabbits in a previously life. As he heard a knock on his door, he was grateful to whomever it was at their perfect time; he was desperate for an excuse for a rest, and was pleased to see Major carter stood in front of him.
"Hey, Carter. Come in, take a seat." Jack offered eagerly.
"Where?" Sam replied trying to find a space that didn't have a mountain of paperwork piled on top of it.
"Oh, sorry." Jack replied sheepishly, coming out from behind his desk and tried in earnestly to shuffle one pile of work from one corner to the next.
"How are things going?"
"Actually that's why I'm here."
"Oh!" Jack said feigning ignorance.
"I've come to proposition you." Sam asked in all innocence, and was subsequently rewarded by a Jack O'Neill special, and his whole face lit up. She hadn't seen him smile like that since she had been told to be an 'anthropologist'.
"Oh yes?"
Realising the double meaning, she corrected herself. "What I meant to say was – you tell Jonas and Teal'c to stop bothering me, and in return, I'll help you with your paperwork. What do you say, sir?"
"I don't know what you mean, major. What Teal'c and Jonas do in their spare time is their own business."
"Really, sir. So you've not had any input into their recent behaviour?"
"I've no idea what you mean, Carter. However, if you want I can have a talk with them. My diplomacy skills are becoming legendary ya know, Carter."
"Uh huh. Well, if you wouldn't mind, sir." Sam replied playing along.
"No, not at all, Carter. Any chance you could give me a hand now?" Jack implored with his most pathetic look. "I'm kinda swamped."
"Oh, I think this goes way past swamped, sir."
"Tell, me about it."
***
All had been relatively quiet for the rest of the week, until they received an alert from their deep space radars. A Goa'uld ship had entered their Solar system, and the whole base was on alert. Jack refused to leave Sam alone for more than a few minutes at a time, but he did it in such a way, it wasn't anything Sam could call him on.
They'd had a briefing that morning and it had been decided that SG1 would need to investigate the ship. Monitoring it's trajectory for the last few days, they had ascertained that it had remained in a motionless like state; simply drifting. That in its self caused an increased nervousness in everyone. Sam wasn't sure how to react, her stomach had churned over continuously since it had arrived, but she hadn't told anyone. It was something she knew she had to deal with eventually; it had just come sooner than she expected.
It was agreed that they would leave as soon as possible, which meant that they would leave first thing in the morning. Sam decided to sleep on the base that night in preparation for the mission. She hadn't felt like talking that much afterwards, and it didn't go un-noticed.
Later on that evening, she heard a tap on her door, and automatically know who it was, as she invited them in, she wasn't surprised to see her CO, stood there looking concerned.
Without him even opening his mouth, she stated, "I'm fine, sir, really. You don't have to worry about me, I'm not going to go to pieces."
"I know. I just wanted to make sure you were having an early night. That's all."
Sam's face must have showed one of disbelief, because he walked over to her, closing the door behind him, and pulled up a chair. "Here we go." Sam thought.
"So, how are you *really* doing?"
"I'm okay, sir. Maybe I'm a little nervous about tomorrow, but…"
"You sure you want to come? I can get someone else ya know. People will understand if you wanted to back out."
"Sir, I've never backed out of anything in my life, and I'll be damned if I start now. Thanks for the choice, sir, but no. If it's okay with you, I'd like to go." Her voice quavered, and she looked up at him, her eyes pleading with him. "I need to go, sir. Don't take me off this mission, please."
"You sure, your sure."
"Yeah, I'm sure, sir."
Jack nodded in understanding. "Okay, Carter. We leave at 07:00am, don't be late."
"I won't, sir."
With that he left her to it, but before he retired for the evening, there was one more thing that he had to do.
Morning came quickly and Sam got up and showered in record time, her watch showed that she had plenty of time, it was only 06:30, so she decided to head up to the control room. What greeted her both shocked and pleased her. There stood with her CO was her father, and she was thrilled that he was here.
"Dad! What are you doing here?" Sam asked suspiciously, hugging him slightly.
"Heard you might need my expertise."
"Colonel O'Neill called you, didn't he?" Sam eyed her CO suspiciously.
"Yeah, he just wanted you to have a bit of support."
Sam rolled her eyes, and said simply. "Will you two stop worrying, I'll be fine."
"We know. We just wanted you to know that you're not alone in this, and we'll be with you every step of the way."
Sam sighed deeply, she really did appreciate her CO's gesture, and she smiled in his direction, and mouthed, "Thanks."
Jack tilted his head and winked. "Well, since we're all up and ready, let's go meet the others."
"Others? How many more people are going on this expedition in total sir?"
"Only seven."
"Seven?"
"Yeah, it's supposed to be good luck." Jack answered as they walked out of the control room.
Sam smiled at his attempts, and she knew that with all of them by her side she could handle just about anything that life was prepared to throw at her.
THE END
A:N Woohooooooooo, I finished – run go pee everyone, then come back and tell me what you thought. Told you it was a long one, and to all those crossing your legs at this very moment, you should know me by now! :O)
Once again heaps of thanks for everyone who reviewed and emailed me, and I'm sorry I kept you waiting, please say I'm forgiven, please, please, *begs on knees*.
Thanks for your patience, the next one I write, I promise won't take me too long. Yeah right! Who am I kidding!
