Chapter Eight

"I'm listening," Chandler replied as he sipped a glass of wine. But he wasn't listening, not even a little bit.

"Are you really? You've been so distant lately… is there something wrong?" Chandler heard the tone in her voice so decided not to worry her.

"No, I'm listening. Go on… tell me what was so important." Chandler sighed and traced his finger around the rim of the glass. She was right, of course. Lately he didn't listen to anything. Things had been so complicated for him… and he was missing Monica so much.

"Well-"

"You know… it's funny," Chandler cut Rachel off. Rachel stopped her sentence and looked at Chandler strangely.

"What? What is?" Rachel asked, her voice mirroring her expression. Chandler almost laughed; whenever him and Monica threw water balloons at people below their balcony, that was exactly the look the people had on their faces. Chandler smiled.

"Well, it's just funny… that you never fully appreciate people once they're gone."

"What? Where did this come from? Did someone leave you?" Rachel looked around nervously as if looking for someone.

"Yeah, someone did. My best friend… she was the best, and I never understood how much she meant to me," Chandler murmured. "I love her so much – as a friend, of course. And I never got to tell her thank you."

Rachel looked at Chandler confused. She had no idea what to tell him. "Why didn't you tell me this before?" Rachel whispered, reaching both of her hands across the table and holding his. Chandler looked down at their intertwined fingers and sighed. He no longer felt the warmth of her hands, the feeling of security around her that he once had. Everything was going fine before Monica left… but this actually made him open up his eyes a little bit more. He might as well been a whole different person back then. Then, meaning when Monica was around. Chandler shook his head, realizing that she asked a question.

"What?" he asked, not quite sure just what the question was.

"Never mind," Rachel sighed. She looked away from Chandler for a second but looked right back at him. "You never seem to listen to me, Chandler."

"I do, I'm sorry."

"Well you seem to be thinking a whole lot more about her than me," Rachel shot, aggravated.

"That's because you're right here! She's gone!" Chandler yelled, unaware that people began to glance at their table. "She's never going to come back. She might as well be dead!"

"Chandler, you seem to love her," Rachel murmured, not looking at him once. Chandler looked at her surprised.

"No, I love you." It was the first time he said it to her – his first time, and he didn't even mean it.

"Bullshit, Chandler. It's all bullshit. This must be why you've been so distant lately. You want her back, don't you?"

"Of course I do, she's my best friend."

"Chandler, you know… I do have a very good memory."

"Yeah… okay." Chandler looked at her curiously.

"She seems to love you, too," Rachel whispered.

"No she-" Chandler suddenly stopped. How would she know her?

"Have you ever dated?"

"No…"

"Chandler… I remember Monica telling me you were best friends."

* * *

"Have you seen Monica?" Ross asked Phoebe as she entered his apartment. Phoebe shook her head.

"Yeah, me either. I can't see her through my window… I saw her go over to the kitchen about an hour ago."

"You've been watching her?" Phoebe asked angrily. Phoebe's narrowed eyes widened. "And you haven't seen her since an hour ago? Do you think she left the apartment?"

"She hasn't since she came… unless you talked her into it," Ross explained, a hint of hope in his voice. Phoebe sighed and sat next to Ross.

"No, I didn't manage to talk her into anything. Not even to eat… or change. She must really love him," Phoebe whispered. "Y'know… this is all so surreal… these past months… nothing seems real. It's like we're just dreaming, and any minute we could wake up." Ross didn't seem to be listening.

"Ross?"

"If Monica never left the apartment, then why was she in the kitchen for so long? Do you think she fell asleep at the kitchen table?"

"That's the most likely solution." Phoebe stood up and went over to Ross's window, trying to look for Monica. She was nowhere in sight. "Maybe you just missed her go into her room."

"No, I've been looking the whole hour," Ross said, his voice seemingly worried. Phoebe picked up on his voice and sighed.

"Why are you so worried, Ross? It's not like she could do anything."

Ross stared at the window, his mind somewhere else. "Because I think I saw red spilling from the kitchen."

* * *

"Chandler, where are you going?" Rachel asked, following him.

"I'm leaving, what does it look like?" Chandler spat at her, picking up his pace. Rachel had to jog to catch up. She was nearly out of breath by the time Chandler stopped in front of his hotel. Rachel stopped and looked from the hotel to Chandler.

"What's going on? Why are you leaving?" Rachel asked worriedly.

"To hell with you!" Chandler raged, catching Rachel by surprise.

"What did I ever do to you?" Rachel asked. Chandler glared at her.

"You blinded me, that's what. How could I have been so stupid?" Chandler walked into the hotel, Rachel still following him. He walked up to his room and took out his key.

"You live at a hotel?" Rachel asked sarcastically. Chandler nodded.

"For the past four months I have." When Chandler opened the door, he quickly went to shut it to block Rachel out, but Rachel was too quick.

"What the hell is going on?" Rachel screamed. All of a sudden, Rachel slapped Chandler. Chandler looked at her for a second but went right to his bags and started to pack them. Rachel's rage turned to regret. "No, wait… don't leave me Chandler!"

"You wanna know what's going on?" Chandler asked, his voice high. Rachel nodded. "Four months ago, I had a dream. A stupid dream. And in that dream, I saw my soulmate. Do you believe in soulmates, Rach?" Rachel shook her head. "Well I do. I believe in them, and I thought that if I found the woman in my dreams, I'd find my soulmate." Chandler paused and sat on his bed.

"That doesn't explain-"

"Monica was my roommate," Chandler whispered. Rachel looked shocked.

"What?"

"She's been my best friend for ten years, my roommate for nine. Well, I told her about my dream, and she was so supportive of me. She believes in soulmates, like me. Anyway, so I decided to go out to look for her. Monica came along, helping the whole time. Then I met you. I thought you were the one in my dreams, so I pretended Monica was my girlfriend to make you jealous. And I guess it worked, because I got you." Rachel stared at Chandler, stunned. She didn't know what to say, so Chandler got up and started to pack up.

"Wait, if you think I'm your soulmate, why are you leaving me?"

"Don't you get it? You're not my soulmate. I don't know why I ever thought you were. I was so stupid to think you were!" Chandler went over to the dresser, took the ten roses and the note, and put them in his bag carefully.

"Don't leave me, Chandler… you'll be making the biggest mistake of your life!"

"No, I already made that mistake. It was watching Monica leave. So now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a plane to catch." Chandler pushed passed Rachel and opened the door.

"Where are you going? You don't have anywhere to go!"

"I'm going to Monica."

* * *

"Monica!"

"Mon!"

"Open up!"

Ross, Phoebe, and Joey banged on Monica's door, screaming. Phoebe had tears in her eyes and the other two friends were close to them. She wouldn't… why would she…? Joey let his thoughts end at that. "Monica, open the door!"

"Monica, let us in! Please!"

"Don't do this to us!"

"You're strong, you're a fighter!"

The voices were distant, like in another world. They sounded like whispers that were trying to yell. It was like she was waking up from a dream, but she wasn't waking up. The blood ran continuously. She lied there motionlessly. No one could save her now. No one could save her eight weeks ago. Now all that would follow would be an eternity in darkness. Death. She was trapped in her apartment, in her body. Her mind was aching to be strong, but her soul was begging to give up. Well, it was too late anyway. It was too late for her. She'd already given up on everything: her friends, her Chandler, her life. She never thought that this would be the way she'd die. She always figured it would be when she was an old, old lady, safe in Chandler's arms.

But here she was, dying because of herself.

Monica couldn't move at all, but she could see. She could see blurred objects, and she could see that she was on the floor. She could see the deep, velvety blood that surrounded her. Monica moved her eyes and looked at the knife right next to her, also covered in the fluid.

And she could see that her life was soon going to be over.

Monica slowly, but painfully, closed her eyes. This was it.

* * *

"Let – me – in!" Chandler huffed. He was shaking all over… he wasn't sure what he was doing. "Let me…" Chandler let that one trail.

"Sir, please calm down. If you don't have a ticket, you can't be on here." Chandler glared at the woman.

"I don't care! I'll give you all of my money if you let me on! Here," Chandler said, pulling out his credit cards. "Please, can you help me? I need to see her."

"Her?"

"Monica… I was so stupid, I can't believe I just let her leave. I need her." Chandler buried his face in his hands. When he looked back up, tears were in his eyes. "Please, the sooner I get to her, the sooner things will fall back into place."

The woman looked at him and sighed. "Fine, I'll get you a ticket." She left and no sooner came back. She handed him the ticket and Chandler smiled gratefully.

"How much?" he asked, still holding out his credit cards. She sighed again and took a Visa. When she handed him the ticket, Chandler thanked her and ran straight to the plane. He quickly pushed passed the crowd of people and found his seat. When he was finally able to sit down, Chandler took out the note Monica wrote to him and read it over. He sighed and noticed the tears in his eyes.

"I'm coming, Mon," he whispered. Soon, the plane took off and Chandler was just one step closer to Monica.

Chandler looked out the window and noticed it started to rain. The drops started out narrow, but ended on the hard, solid ground round and full. Chandler put his finger up to the small, rounded plane window and sighed. Still, he couldn't believe he'd been so blind. It was then that Chandler realized that he didn't even like Rachel all that much. Rachel was just an excuse, a 'dream girl.' Why he let Monica leave him was still a mystery to him, but he knew that he'd never let it happen again. Amidst all of the noise around him – the children screaming, woman fighting over the last seat, men patting each other's backs, greeting each other – Chandler closed his eyes, silence sweeping him to a different place. Within minutes, he fell asleep. He didn't notice anything around him, he didn't feel anything. The darkness he provided turned into a scene – it looked like his and Monica's apartment. It was raining there, too, and Chandler noticed that the apartment was surprisingly dark. When he looked around, he also noticed shattered plates and something spilling. He went closer to the kitchen and noticed a form lying on the ground. When he stepped just a little bit closer, he let out a blood-curling scream.

There he saw Monica's body covered in blood, a knife right beside her.

* * *

The door was starting to wear down, but they weren't near opening it. They'd been trying to break it open for hours, but all proving to be worthless.

"Monica!" Ross cried out one last time before falling to the ground and putting his hands to his face. It was no use… they couldn't help her. That is… if there even was something wrong with her. Maybe she was sleeping… or maybe she just didn't want to talk. She has been, in fact, shelled away from the world for the past eight weeks. Maybe he was just being paranoid. Ross shook his head. Who was he kidding?

"What's the point?" Joey whispered. Phoebe and Ross both jumped, surprised by his tone of voice.

"Excuse me?" Phoebe asked, seemingly irritated. "What, you don't think this is all worth it to save our best friend's life?"

Joey shook his head. "How do we even know anything is wrong with her?" he asked, as if reading Ross's thoughts.

"We worry, that's what friends do."

"Yeah, well maybe a little bit too much," Joey replied, holding his hands into tight fists. His face was already paler than it should have been, and his eyes danced with worry.

"You can never worry too much! That is, if you're really a friend!"

Joey tilted his head down. He felt a hot sting of pain rush through him. Maybe it was a tear – he didn't know the difference. "Monica's a big girl. She can care for herself."

"You haven't seen her! She's not the fighter we once knew so well. Her hair is messed up, she's in her PJ's, she's way too thin anybody should be, and she no longer has that spark in her that we all loved her for."

"She… she would never do anything to herself." Joey leaned against the wall and wiped his hand over his face.

"I wish I could believe you, Joe. But… she told me she has nothing to live for."

"Well… if she… leaves us… then we'll have nothing to live for."

He was right. They both were.

* * *

A scream filled the air around him and he shot his eyes open. Chandler jumped out of his seat, but then noticed he wasn't in his apartment. He looked around for the bloody body, but only the blue carpet covered the floor. Chandler slowly sat back down and sighed. He leaned his head back on the seat. That image was too real to be a dream. But then again… he'd always been weird about dreams. Chandler closed his eyes once more.

Before his eyes were even fully closed, the blood flashed before him.

The knife shot across his image.

The body appeared, but in a split second, it was gone.

Chandler quickly reopened his eyes and kept them wide open. Not once did something like that happen to him. He felt like he was there… like he was a part of it all. And the fact that it was Monica who was on the floor didn't exactly sooth his thoughts. Without noticing, Chandler began to sweat. Now the image wouldn't leave his mind. When he looked at the blue carpet, he saw the blood. When he looked at anything someone was holding, he saw the knife. When he saw any person, he saw the mangled body of Monica.

"Sir?"

Chandler jumped, and suddenly noticed he was shaking like crazy. Chandler looked up and saw a man looking down at him, but immediately he saw Monica's bleeding face. Chandler felt the tears come and shook his head.

"I – I'm – f… - I'm fi- fine," Chandler stuttered. The man shrugged and walked away. Chandler looked out the window, hoping the steady beat of the raindrops would calm him – it didn't. He was shaking more than ever, sweat poured down his face like the rain outside, and tears fell, mixing into the sweat.

Death.

The word flashed into his mind like the past images.

"I'll always love you. I meant forever, too, when I said best friends."

It was Monica's voice, and he literally looked around for her. But what scared him to the bone was… she wasn't there, but he felt her there. Chandler sighed and laid his head against the soft chair. He was just imagining things. Not one dream, not even his 'soulmate dream,' had this much effect on him. And this scared him.

So, for the rest of the way… instead of looking forward to seeing Monica, he was dreading what he would find.

* * *

Chandler took the bouquet of roses and smiled. He was so close to Monica now… only minutes away. Before in the plane he'd decided to leave the dream as just that… a dream. He already made the mistake from his other one, so he decided his mind just had a way of playing tricks with him. Chandler shivered. It was raining… not usual rain, but rain coming down so fast it pricked his skin. He could barely even see the crowded sidewalks, instead seeing the sheets of water pouring down onto him. Chandler rubbed his arms and quickened his pace. When he finally reached the apartment building, he stood in front of it for a few minutes, looking at it. He missed everything so much, and now that he was back… he never wanted to leave. Chandler finally went inside and upstairs.

* * *

Ross, Phoebe, and Joey sat in the middle of the hall, thinking. They couldn't do anything… anything except wait. They didn't know what they were waiting for. They didn't care what they were waiting for. They just were.

Mostly they were waiting to wake up and let this nightmare be over.

It didn't happen.

* * *

Chandler slowly and carefully walked up the stairs. The gang were probably over Monica's, eating or laughing together. And soon he'd finally be laughing along with them. When Chandler reached the floor his apartment was on, he was surprised to see Ross, Joey, and Phoebe sitting in the middle between apartment 19 and 20. He crept up behind them.

"Guys?" Chandler whispered, causing the three to jump. They all turned around, and Chandler could instantly read their shocked expressions. Phoebe instantaneously stood up and went over to Chandler.

"Cha – Chandler? Is… is that really you?" she whispered. Chandler looked at her and nodded.

"Sure is," he smiled. Phoebe's eyes narrowed, and out of nowhere, she slapped him.

"You bastard! Why would you do that to her?" Phoebe yelled, taking Chandler by surprise. Joey and Ross went over to Phoebe and looked at Chandler in the same way.

"What did I do?" Chandler asked, confused. The three's gazes softened, but they still had that hard look in their eyes.

"You're right… it's not your fault," Ross sighed.

"What, what's not my fault?" he asked, looking from Phoebe to Ross to Joey, then back.

"Nothing." The three looked away from him and down to the floor.

"You guys… I know I haven't seen you in a long time… but I'm sorry, you know that. Can you forgive me?"

"No, that's not it…"

"Then what the hell is?" Chandler asked, exasperated.

"M – Monica," Phoebe muttered.

"What about her?" Chandler asked frantically. He couldn't bare the fact that something might be wrong with her.

"Nothing, she's just very upset without you," Ross said, leaving out just how bad she was and the fact she was in love with him. Chandler's eyes immediately showed a hurt and loving expression.

"I'm so sorry about all of this… I really am. Is – is she bad?" Chandler asked. Everybody paused.

"Umm… we don't know, we haven't been able to see her much," Joey decided. Chandler nodded. Suddenly, Phoebe remembered why they were even in the hall. Her face went pale and she felt light-headed.

"Chandler… do you think you can let us in? We – we wanted to see Monica." Phoebe's mention of Monica brought everybody else's face pale, too. Chandler nodded and took out his keys. He put the keys to the lock and slowly opened the door. Being the first one to come into the apartment, Chandler's eyes widened. All he could see was the color red stained into the hard wood floor. He walked further in, allowing the others to come in. Chandler looked around, afraid. Why he was afraid, he didn't know.

"Mon?" he yelled. He looked around and walked to the back of the small kitchen table.

Chandler's throat tightened as if someone was choking him. He staggered around, gasping for breath. Instantly, tears came to his eyes, and his heart broke in two.

There he saw Monica lay, with a knife beside her, covered in blood… with blood still pouring out. Chandler tottered over to her and knelt beside her.

"Mon, what did you do to yourself?" he whispered with his last breath.

Then, Chandler fainted beside Monica.

To Be Continued…

Is Monica alive or dead? Dun dun dunnn…

Ok, sorry… just had to put that there. Also, I know this chapter took the longest… my computer wasn't working too great, so it kept deleting. If my computer works, I'll get the next chapter up soon… after some reviews ;). If it doesn't work, the ninth chapter may take a while to be posted up… sorry. Anyway, review to let me know what you think and if I should continue or not.