Chapter Twelve
With blurred vision, Monica weakly looked around for Chandler. Doctors hovered around her, looking down at her, writing down her statistics, doing anything to help. All she could do was look around helplessly.
"Ch… and… ler?" she managed to whisper. She coughed, making some blood come from her mouth. Immediately, more doctors came to her.
"You'll be okay. Just a few more days, and everything will go back to normal," a tall male doctor told her. He smiled, trying to be comforting. Monica looked from doctor to doctor.
"I – wa…nt… Chandl – er," she mumbled, taking in deep breaths after every word.
"Now, now… don't waste your energy on talking," the same doctor said.
Monica sleepily looked around once again, feeling shooting pains through her wrists. Her arms didn't feel any better either, and her chest was still in immense pain.
But just the thought that Chandler wasn't at her side made her heart hurt twenty times more.
* * *
Chandler lifted his hands, ready to jump. He hesitated, looking down at the world below him. The concrete looked splintering and the ground looked too far down. He looked around, watching birds fly passed him and cars zoom below him. He took a deep breath, stalling for time.
Why am I even giving this a second thought? I hurt her, so I should be hurt!
Chandler looked around, from the inside of the hospital to the outside. But was hurting himself really helping her?
"Promise me… that no matter what… no matter what happens, no matter what circumstances we're under… promise me that you'll stay by my side. 'Cause I'll always be right there beside you. Can you promise me that?" Monica asked, looking up at Chandler expectantly. Chandler looked back down at her.
"I pinky swear," he whispered, not giving it a second thought. "I'll be there for you."
Chandler and Monica locked their pinkies together, smiling.
"I know."
Chandler shook his head, leaning back, away from the window. He held onto the window's edge and climbed back into the room.
He wasn't going to break his promise… not just because he felt guilty.
But still, nothing could make up for what he did to Monica. He was killing her without wanting to. He was hurting her, and no matter what he did, it'd stay like that.
Chandler walked away from the small, melancholy room and walked over to the elevator, not once looking back.
* * *
"Where the hell have you been?" Ross screamed, causing Chandler to flinch. Chandler walked passed Ross and flopped onto an uncomfortable hospital chair.
"Why do you care?" he mumbled, looking away. When he looked towards Monica's room, he noticed the door was open and nurses and doctors were scurrying in and out. Instantly, he stood up and looked worriedly around, expecting the worst. "What happened? What's wrong with Monica? What happened?" he rambled, pacing back and forth. Ross walked over to him, stopping him dead in his tracks.
"Nothing's wrong with Monica…" Ross started. Relief filled Chandler's eyes, proving how worried he was. Chandler looked from Ross to the doctors.
"Then what happened?" he asked, his voice barely a whisper. Ross beamed.
"She's awake," he told Chandler, his voice mirroring his expression. Chandler stared blankly at Ross, not taking it in.
"What?" he asked, too surprised to think clearly.
"She woke up!" Ross yelled, throwing his hands up.
Without another word, Chandler bolted into the door, to Monica.
* * *
When the doctors all left Monica's room when they were sure she was fine, Chandler managed to walk up to her bed.
The minute he saw Monica, her eyes confused and afraid, his breath caught in his throat. Slowly, he walked towards her.
"Mon?" he whispered.
Monica looked up, and seeing Chandler, her eyes lit up. She attempted to smile, but the pain prevented her from doing so.
"Chandler?" she managed weakly instead. Chandler walked over to Monica and took her hand.
"What happened there, buddy?" he whispered, kissing her forehead. "You scared us."
Monica merely looked at Chandler, too amazed by him to say anything. She looked at his hand cupping hers and felt butterflies float through her stomach.
"Wh – what are you... doing here?" Monica murmured shakily. Chandler moved closer to Monica, stroking her hair. He shook his head.
"Do you not want me here?" he asked. He looked hurt, but dropped her hands. "Because I'll leave if you don't want to see me, I-"
Monica quickly shook her head, sending shooting pains through it. She ignored it, only thinking of Chandler beside her. She reached for his arm, but only managed to weakly toss it off of the side of the bed.
"Stay."
Chandler's eyes filled with relief for the second time, and he moved closer towards Monica. Instead of sitting in a chair, he kneeled next to her bed and took her hand once more. He looked at her face and smiled. She still looked as beautiful as ever despite the cuts.
All of a sudden, tears sprang to Chandler's eyes. He quickly tried to wipe them before Monica could see, but all in vain. Monica gently squeezed his hand, looking at him.
"Don't cry," she said with great effort. Chandler shook his head and squeezed her hand back.
"I – I thought I was going to lose you," he told her, not breaking the gaze they held. Reality set in as Chandler realized how close she was to dying.
"I'm sorry." Monica looked at Chandler, pain obvious through her eyes. She looked away from Chandler and looked at the tubes connected to her arms, at the blood tubes used for inserting blood into her veins. Chandler looked at Monica surprised.
"No, no… you shouldn't be sorry. Don't be sorry. I'm sorry," he said hurriedly, not wanting Monica to be sorry for a second. He took her other hand and held them close to his chest. "I'm sorry for thinking Rachel was the one for me. She's not my soulmate… because she kept me from you."
Monica looked at Chandler, a mist forming in her eyes. "Not your fault," she said, trying to create a complete sentence. But because of the great pain it caused her, she settled for half of the words.
"I left her," Chandler continued. "I never want to see her again, so long as I'm with you." Chandler smiled, resting his head on the side of the bed.
"No… don't leave her… because of me…"
Chandler lifted his head and looked down at Monica. "No, Mon… I didn't leave her because of you. I left her for you. You're the best friend a person could have… and I remember a certain promise I gave you one day ten years ago. I'm not going to break that promise." Chandler smiled and stood up. Slowly, he sat on the edge of her bed and leaned forward towards her, his chest to her ears.
"Press your ears to the left side of my chest," he told her gently. Monica weakly did so.
What she heard was numerous, faint heartbeats. They beat in a rhythmic motion, not stopping for a break. Monica smiled, resting her head on his chest.
"It's your heart," she said.
Chandler smiled and nodded. "Sure is." He stopped, then put his arm around her.
"Now listen closer," he whispered.
Monica pressed her ears harder, but still heard the same heartbeat. Chandler stroked her hair. "It's still my heart. It keeps going, and it's strong," he told her. Monica nodded, still listening to the sound. "That's how much I love you," he whispered, nuzzling his face to her hair. "I love you more than anything… you're the best friend I could ever dream for." Chandler paused, but continued. "And I'm so sorry I ever looked passed that. I'm sorry I took it for granted." Chandler hugged Monica as tightly as he could without hurting her and rested his chin on her head. Monica slowly looked up at Chandler, her face still resting on his chest.
"I love you, Chandler," she murmured, so low he could barely hear her. Chandler smiled and stroked her hair.
"I know," he replied, looking ahead.
If only he knew…
"I mean I truly love you," she answered, her pain covering her emotion. Chandler squeezed Monica, looking down at her.
"I know."
Monica sighed, her heart tearing apart.
Chandler… if only you did.
* * *
There weren't any more days or nights. The days all melted into one another, leading a chain of endless medicine and sleeping. There was nothing to do besides stare out the window, wishing to leave the dreaded place.
Hospitals were places of healing… but once you get stuck in one, it scars your life forever.
She did this to herself… but now that Chandler was with her, she wished it would all go away. The doctors and nurses haunted her… the smell of medicine would never leave her skin… the tubes attached to her frightened her. Just the thought that she could barely breathe on her own sent goosebumps to her skin. The thought that people were out there, enjoying lives, living her life… it sickened her.
"Hey," Chandler whispered as he walked into the room. Monica broke her gaze outside the window and looked at Chandler. She merely showed a weak smile, her eyes lighting up. Chandler walked over to her bed, sitting at the edge of it. "How are you holding up?" he asked, kissing her forehead.
Monica lifted her hands, letting the tubes dangle. "I can lift my hands more," she remarked brightly. Chandler grinned and put his arm around the bed.
"It's progress," he told her, smiling from ear to ear. "Just get better so we can go back home, ok?"
"I'll try." She looked around from herself to Chandler. With all of the machines hooked up to her, she felt detached from him, like in a different world.
"Your voice is getting stronger," Chandler said, a hint of pride in his voice. Monica simply nodded, leaning her head against his chest. Chandler paused, looking down sadly at Monica. "How are you feeling?"
"Okay."
"Hey, cheer up," Chandler whispered, squeezing her shoulders. Monica looked at Chandler.
"You won't leave me, will you?" she asked, afraid of the answer.
"Never," he replied. "Remember… I'll be there." Chandler looked away from Monica and out towards the window once more. He paused, silence filling the room for a few seconds. Chandler broke it with a soft whisper. "I'll be there, to comfort you. I'll build my world of dreams around you. I'm so glad… I found you."
Monica looked up at Chandler, her eyes showing a sparkle that left when she left Chandler return. She smiled, taking Chandler's hand. "Our song," she whispered. He nodded, glad to see the old Monica.
"Cause, you know… I'll be there with a love so strong. I'll be your strength. You know I'll keep holding on," Chandler continued, his voice a little louder with every word.
"I'll reach out my hand to you… I'll have faith in all you do…" Monica tried to sing, her voice shaking. Nonetheless, Chandler's smile cracked into a grin.
"Just call my name and I'll be there," he sang, his voice growing softer. He took Monica's other hand and kissed them both at the same time. "No matter what, I'll be there. Just know… it's C&M forever," he whispered, taking Monica's ring finger and pointing to the ring he gave her. Monica smiled and gently nodded.
"I know." She tightened her grip on Chandler's hands and motioned one arm toward the window. "I'll get out soon," she tried to say loud and clear. "I'll get out, and you'll come with me, right?"
"Always and forever, Mon… it's you and me against the world."
Monica beamed. "Sure is. Us, the two inseparables." Monica paused, looking Chandler straight in the eyes. "Maybe we'll get to go on that road trip we've tried out before," she stated. Chandler laughed.
"Anything you want."
"I want to be best friends forever," Monica said, holding out her pinky. "Pinky swear?"
"Forever," he replied, locking his pinky with hers.
Because it was C&M forever.
To Be Continued…
This one was kind of short, and I know it took FOREVER to post… I've been busier than ever since it's so close to the end of the school year. Anyway, review to let me know what you think – good or bad. Should I continue?
