Huzzah, it's another chapter.
Weiß Kreuz Fairy Tales
Written by Sakki-san
Weiss and Schwartz aren't mine. I'm too young to get a job, so I'm poor.
Neu: AND I WENT…
Farfie: SHOOSHOOSHADOOOO
Neu: AND THERE WAS A…
Farfie: LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE OF FIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRREEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Crawford: o_O;;;
Hell: O_o;;;
Aya: ~_~
Schu: o_o
Schoen: o.0
Omi: 0.o
Yohji: ^_^
Ken: _;;;
Nagi: o_o...
Tot: WHEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!
Crawford: What was that all about?
Hell: And since when is Neu as psychoneurotic as Farfarello?
Schoen: I think it was when you made her play the king.
Nagi: That would do it for me…
Schoen: You're not a woman.
Schu: AND THANK GOD FOR THAT!
Omi: HEY! That's my line!
Schu: ^_^
Yohji: ^__________^
Aya: …what are YOU so happy about?
Yohji: ^________^ Sakki-san said I could be the main character in today's story!
Ken: That's not necessarily a good thing, Yohji…
Yohji: But I know today's topic.
Crawford: Ô.o what is it?
Yohji: *ahem* …YOHJI HOOD!
All: …………………
Crawford: God save us. ALL of us.
Farfie: NOT ME BECAUSE I HURT GOD CONSISTANTLY AND SAKKI'S CAT HAS CLAWED UP HER HAND MAKING IT HARD FOR HER TO TYPE SO BY ENRAGING THE CAT MORE WE CAN STOP HER FROM TYPING ALTOGETHER WHICH MEANS NO MORE STUIPD FANFICS OR STUPID IDEAS, NO MORE PAIRINGS, NO MORE LEATHER, NO MORE CHIHUAHUAED BREAD, NO MORE LAKES OF FIRE OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT, BUT I SUPPOSE THAT WE'D ALL LIKE THAT HM?!
Neu: BECAUSE IT HURTS GOD!
Hell: O_O Ok, now I KNOW something's wrong with Neu.
Neu: Nothing's wrong with me, I just feel like being a psycho.
Hell: ~_~
Yohji: ^_^
Omi: *sigh* Ok, we'll figure this out as we go. Once upon a time…
Yohji: There was a stunning, handsome young man known only as Yohji Hood.
Schu: Yohji Hood was a very lonely man, but he wasn't stupid.
Aya: Yes he was. And he wasn't lonely at all. He had himself.
Yohji: …I don't know if I'm supposed to be insulted or complimented.
Omi: ! Yohji Hood was walking along one day when he encountered a man sitting in a tree.
Nagi: HELP
Yohji: Hey, how did you get up there?
Nagi: ;-; I have no idea!
Yohji: Well, come down!
Nagi: I CAN'T!
Yohji: Oh.
Omi: So Yohji Hood pulled poor Nagi-kun off the tree branch.
Nagi: Thanks.
Yohji: Hey! Wait! Where are you going?! You stay here!
Nagi: .…
Omi: So the two of them continued walking. As they walked, they encountered…
Aya: The Big Bad Brad.
Crawford: DO NOT CALL ME BRAD!!!
Omi: The Big Bad Brad…? …^.^…^.^…
Crawford: _@_…
Omi: *cracks up*
Nagi: *snicker*
Crawford: *snaps* IF YOU CONTINUE TO CALL ME BRAD I AM GOING TO RIP ALL OF YOUR INTESTINES OUT THOUGH YOUR THROAT AND THEN I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!
All: O___O
Schu: Woah, PMS again!
Omi: …so…The Big Bad Brad –
Farfie: RAN AROUND SCREAMING LIKE A LUNATIC WAVING HIS GUN AND OBVIOUSLY HURTING GOD BECAUSE OF WHAT HE WAS SCREAMING!!!
Crawford: *tackle* DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Aya: o.o;;; He's snapped.
Omi: …The Big Bad Brad joined Yohji Hood and Nagi's quest.
Yohji: I have a quest?
Omi: Not really, but it helps the plot.
Ken: and cheese.
All: …
Schu: Cheese fetish, Ken?
Ken: *shrugs*
Omi: They walked along until they encountered yet ANOTHER merry man.
Ken: *piku*
Yohji: Hey, Friar Ken! Join us on our quest!
Ken: Quest?
Nagi: Just come on.
Ken: GAH
Omi: So Ken was hovered along with Yohji Hood and Nagi and the Big Bad Brad.
Farfie: MEANWHILE, AT THE CASTLE OF THE EVIL KING AND HIS EVEN EVILLER SHERRIFF AND THE EVIL KING'S NOT-SO-EVIL SISTER…
Schu: MWAHAHAHAHAAA
Neu: ~_~
Schu: …what are you doing here?
Neu: I play the evil king's not-so-evil sister.
Schu: But I'm in love with….O.O
Yohji: ^_______^
Crawford: Relax, Schu, it's just for one story.
Schu: O.O
Schu: O.O
Schu: O.O
Schu: O.O
Schu: O.O
Crawford: …Schu?
Schu: ;_____________;
Crawford: -_-;;;
Schu: ;-; I wanted to screw Aya…
Aya: O_O
Omi: ….erm….
Farfie: Yeah, and I want to hurt God right now, but I can't exactly do tha – wait a minute, I can hurt God whenever I want! YIIIII!!!
Ken: o_o;;;…
Schu ;-;…well…I suppose.
Omi: YO, SHUT UP!
Schu: ~_~ Dumb kid.
Nagi: *growl*
Omi: The group of adventurers walked calmly through the forest, although the Big Bad Brad –
Crawford: *twitch*
Omi: - was a little pissed off.
Crawford: Just a little? *waves gun…er, stick, threateningly*
Omi: =_= Fine, a lot pissed off. They were walking when they encountered the evil Sheriff of….of…crap, wasn't Crawford supposed to be the evil prince?
Crawford: Yes. But we all know that you're stupid.
Omi: But I didn't do the casting!
Schu: Yes you did.
Omi: _! All right, the evil prince is Ken.
Ken: …o.O…
Farfie: ;-;
Omi: …Farfie.
Farfie: YAY! I'm an evil prince!
Omi: So they encountered the evil Sheriff of Snottingham!
All: ………
Omi: Short notice.
Ken: And cheese.
Crawford: *WHACK*
Ken: x_x
Omi: Erm, that was unnecessary. Anyway. The evil Sheriff of Snottingham rode right up to Yohji hood and his three companions, one of whom was unconscious.
Schu: Hey! You're not from around here, are you?
Crawford: *draws stick* No.
Schu: …you have a stick.
Crawford: Yes. *waves stick*
Schu: *snickers and draws sword* I have a SWORD. Metal versus wood?
Crawford: . . . …
Schu: *swings sword*
Omi: But! The sword MISSED Crawford by about five inches because the Sheriff of Snottingham was such a bad aim…
Schu: HEY!!!
Crawford: And I whacked him in the head with my stick.
Schu: . ow…
Omi: Incredibly pissed, the Sheriff rode of, screaming revenge as he tried to keep a swelling headache from starting.
Schu: I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS!!! YOU RUINED MY BEAUTIFUL HEAD!!!
Crawford: Ô.o I did, now, did I?
Nagi: Obviously.
Omi: The four adventurers traveled onward, toward the castle, because Yohji Hood had heard of a damsel in distress that he wanted to save!
Yohji: @_@ Asuka….
Schu: _!!!!!!!!
Omi: The damsel's name was Maid Maren.
Aya: Shouldn't it be Maid Marian?
Omi: Not in this context, apparently…
Nagi: I floated Ken and walked behind Yohji Hood and the Big Bad Brad for some time before we arrived at the city.
Yohji: O_O Big city!
Crawford: -_- Small city.
Nagi: …*blink*
Omi: They wandered through and (while getting several odd looks), managed to pick up some additions to their Merry Men!
Crawford: *makes calculations* Four of us…Aya's king, Farfie's prince, Schu's sheriff…mn…Me, Yohji, Nagi, Ken…Omi's…narrator.
Omi: …some not well known additions.
Aya: Bit players.
Omi: Correct. One day Yohji Hood caught a glimpse of Maid Maren!
Neu: *vanishes from sight before Yohji Hood can really see her*
Yohji: @_______________@ ASUKA!!!
Crawford: *WHRACK*
Yohji: .…where did you get that steel 2 by 4?
Crawford: Don't ask.
Omi: o_o;;;…When they were back in their camp that night, Yohji Hood decided to go find Maid Maren.
Yohji: I must find and marry this Maren and spend all of my days with her!
Crawford: ~_~ Then go do that.
Nagi: *on the verge of tears* ;-;
Crawford: …what's your problem?
Nagi: It's so SWEET!
Yohji: ^_^ Somebody sees my way.
Crawford: -_-
Ken: *still unconscious* x_x
Omi: The next night Yohji Hood went and visited Maid Maren.
Neu: O_O! Who are you?
Yohji: I am Yohji Hood, here to liberate you from the evil clutches of your evil brother the prince!
Neu: …^________^ Yay! But you can't do it now!
Yohji: Why not?
Neu: Because the King is coming back from the crusades in…*counts on her fingers* …three days. And Prince Farfie will be kicked off the throne then.
Yohji: …^_^ I still want to liberate you.
Neu: DUR. Now leave before someone sees you.
Omi: That night Yohji Hood had dreams about Maren. The next morning he tried to get up and found his sleeve pinned to the ground by an arrow!
Yohji: Nagi, were you practicing with weapons again?
Nagi: x_x no…
Crawford: *sitting on Nagi's back, holding the 2 by 4* I made sure he didn't.
Ken: x_x
Yohji: Hey, there's a letter attached to this arrow!
Omi: The letter said, 'If you want to win Maid Maren, come to the archery contest today!'
Yohji: ooo…archery contest….
Omi: As we all know, Yohji Hood is an impeccable shot with the bow. So he ran off to this archery contest for more than one reason.
Yohji: MAREN!
Neu: YOHJI!
Farfie: I AM THE PRINCE! START THE CONTEST!
Omi: Yohji was disguised, so Prince Farfie didn't know it was him.
Farfie: FIIIRRRRRRRREEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN IN THE LAAAAAAAAAAKE OF FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Schu: Shut up. =_= *sitting next to Maren*
Neu: I'm not pleased with the seating arrangements, either, Snot boy.
Schu: !
Omi: o_o;;; The archery contest continued without flaw until Yohji won in the third trial.
Farfie: *POINT* THAT'S HIM!!! THAT'S YOHJI HOOD!!! GET HIM!!!
Omi: The guards surrounded poor Yohji Hood.
Yohji: Crap.
Farfie: HANG HIM, FOR THAT WAY HE SUFFERS AND HURTS GOD EVEN MORE!!!
Neu: ;____;
Omi: BUT! Just before Yohji Hood could be hanged, his Merry Men jumped in and kicked ass!
Crawford: *whack* WHACK* *WHRRAAACCCKKK*
Guards: x_x
Nagi: *fling* WHEE!
Ken: *claw* *bite* *hiss* *scratch*
Omi: …o-o…
Ken: ….*hiss?*
Omi: ….ok… Finally the fight was won!
Farfie: YOU CAN'T DEFEAT ME BECAUSE I AM THE ONE AND ONLY HURTER OF GOD BECAUSE I AM THE ONLY WHO RECOGNIZES IT AND I HAVE NO FRYING PAN FOR MY BACON WHICH MEANS I HAVE TO BACK TO INDEPENDENCE WHICH IS ABOUT 30 MILES AWAY AGAIN, BUT IF I DON'T TURN BACK WHO WILL CHIHUAHUAH THE BACON?! GOD HURTS WHEN YOU CHIHUAHUAH STUFF BECAUSE HE ONLY PLACED THEM ON EARTH TO MAKE US HAPPY, AND GOD MUST SUFFER FOR TRYING TO MAKE US UNHAPPY, AND NOW THERE'S A CAT ON MY SHOULDER AND IT'S PURRING AND BRITNEY SPEARS IS GOING TO MAKE A DEBUT CONCERT BECAUSE GOD LIKES HER AND THE MICE FROM THE OTHER CHAPTERS LIKE HER AND I HATE HER AND IF I KILL HER THAT WILL HURT GOD EVEN MORE THAN EVER BEFORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!! I HURT GOD!!!! I AM EVIL!!!!!!! YIYIYIYIYIYIYYIIYYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!
All: O_O
Omi: …Farfie?
Farfie: What?
Omi: …don't do that again.
Farfie: Hmph.
Omi: …then King Aya showed up!
Aya: Farfie, you're not the prince anymore.
Farfie: BUT I MUST BE THE PRINCE BECAUSE I BOUGHT THE BREAD AND I PLANTED THE BREAD AND I –
Crawford: *SHRWHRAAAM!!!*
Farfie: X_X
Aya: Thank you.
Crawford: With pleasure.
Schu: ….*sneaks away*
Yohji: A-HA!!! Come back here!
Schu: EE *runs*
Omi: So Yohji Hood chased after the Sheriff of Snottingham, and everybody was happy because peace was restored to the land. And eventually everybody was awake again
Ken: And had cheese.
Crawford: *swing*
Ken: GAAAH
~FIN~
Maid Maren is called that for a reason and only one person knows what that reason is. ^_^ Hi Ren!
Next up: Rapunzel! (due to the many suggestions for it…)
