It's a co-written fic! Between me, J-chan, and my good friend Zelly! (HINT: if you're a fan of Legend of Zelda, Parasite Eve, or FF9, look up Zayaince and read 'SNOWBOUND?!'!)
Weiß Kreuz Fairy Tales
Written by Sakki-san
Uh…shouldn't you know what this means by now? I don't own anything.
Farfie: X_x…
Ken: o_O
Crawford: He exploded last chapter. He can't do anything now.
Aya: GOOD.
Farfie: .........................;-;
Aya: ¬_¬... *holds out katana*
Schu: *sits on him* I'm narrating today!
Aya: _!
Omi: AWW
Ken: o.o God save us all.
Farfie: O_O. ..............;-;
Ken: ^^;;; Sorry, Farf.
Schu: *cough* Anyway.. Once upon a time, in a galaxy far far away..
Crawford: I figured out this was a Star Wars parody and decided to run before Schu made me his lover.
Schu: Too late.
Crawford: _
Schu: ^_^ Anyway, there was this young man called…Aya Skywalker.
Aya: o.0 Me?
Schu: Yes, you, dear. Anyway, he lived with his aunt and uncle on a planet far far away. Then one day.. Two droids came to his happy little home.
Omi: O_O
Nagi: _ I will NOT be a droid.
Omi: ^_^ I don't mind. I'm still with you.
Nagi: …^_^
Schu: …Anyway…O2-D2 held a weird message.
Omi: *projects message*
Crawford: "Help me, Yohji Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope!" ....I DID NOT SAY THAT.
Aya: ...Yohji Wan Kenobi? Never heard of him.
Omi: DUR. You have to go find him.
Nagi: ...
Omi: ...I mean, bleep.
Aya: ...o.0 insulted by a ROBOT?!! Why you little!! SHI-NE!!!
Schu: Calm down, young Skywalker. You're on a direct path to the dark side.
Aya: EH?! *turns around* ...Where did you come fro - O.O AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUU
Schu: YES MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE LET'S CELEBRATE.
Ken: *raises his hand* ..I'm confused.
Schu: That's great. Anyway, Aya went off to find this elusive Yohji Wan, and BEHOLD.
Yohji: ..Hallo.
Aya: -_-
Yohji: AREN'T I SO SEXY?!
Aya: No. Omi, show him the message.
Crawford: Uh-uh. I'm not doing that again.
Schu: Do it...
Crawford: Or what?
Schu: ^_^
Crawford: ...
Schu: ^_^ Or I get to screw you. And Aya. At the same time.
Aya: o.O WTF?!!
Sakki: Being narrator gives him this power. XD
Aya: SHI-NE!!!!!!!!!
Sakki: O_O PLOT!! STAY IN PLOT!!
Aya: OR WHAT?!
Schu: We went through this already.
Aya: ...
Omi: *ACHEM. PLAYS MESSAGE.*
Crawford: -_- *sigh...* "Help me, Yohji Wan Kenobi! You're my only hope!"
Yohji: ...WHY IS CRAWFORD WEARING A DRESS AND A WIG?!!
Crawford: _ *takes off the dress and wig* If I have to do this, I'm a prince, damnit. *walks off until needed again*
Yohji: O.o....
Yohji: O.o....
Schu: So Yohji Wan told young Aya that they must go rescue the handsome prince. But to reach where he was, they needed a space ship. And it's pilot. ...^_^
Yohji: ^_^
Schu: o.O What are you so happy about?
Yohji: ^_^ Dunno. you're cute.
Schu: DAMN STRAIGHT. Along with my is my assistant copilot, Kenbaka!
Ken: ...isn't it supposed to be 'Kenbacca'?
Schu: ....yeah, whatever.
Aya: I am not flying anywhere with HIM.
Ken: -_- RAAAAAAAAAAAR. (~ wookie noise)
Aya: o.o Ok, I will.
Ken: waaaarr.
Schu: And so we took off, carrying two pilots, two adventerurs, and two droids. That makes 6.
Yohji: Where are the other two?
Farfie: ................I WAS...;-; I can't do it anymore...
Schu: ...Darth Farfie was attempting to retrieve information from Prince Crawford about unimportant things... Back to me. The Millenium Schwartz had entered the gravitational pull of the huge Death-
Farfie: TO GOD STAR!
Omi: ..Bleep....
Schu: O.o So we were sucked into the ..Death To God Star and the
Farfie: God Hurters.
Nagi: ...isn't that from Chapter 1?
Farfie: God hurters are EVERYWHERE!! MWUHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHA
Nagi: ....Ok...
Farf: AND WITH MANGO ORANGE JUICE I DANCED AROUND AND FOUND AN ALL CHOCOLATE ROLO!!!
Schu: ! BACK TO ME! We were pulled in and CAPTURED!!!
Crawford: -_- No, baka. They didn't capture you.
Schu: Damnit. I was hopping I'd be locked up with you..
Crawford: ...
Yohji: ;_; what about me?
Schu: ...Later. So anyway, the God hurters didn't find us and Yohji Wan went off to get rid of the..beam thing, N3PO and O2-D2 with Aya and I to find Crawford.
Ken: ..Me...?
Schu: Stay there and be a Wookie.
Zelly: *appears out of no where to 'entertain' Ken while everyone else is away*
Schu: ...o_O he's a WOOKIE.
Zelly: ...*un-Wookies him*
Schu: Moving on..
Schu: We decided to take a detour and land on Planet...Fuz!
Aya: o.O
Schu: Blame Sakki.
Aya: As always. SHI-NE!
Crawford: -_- I'll fix the story. You and Aya discovered my location and came to rescue me.
Nagi: While Omi and I stayed here and ..'kept watch'.
Omi: ..^_^
Yohji: ...Who am I again?
Aya: -_- Just don't bother.
Yohji: All right! *smokes*
Farfie: GO AND VISIT THE CAT WHICH IS TRYING TO EAT MY BREAD WHICH I GREW IN THE FIRST CHAPTER AND YES I SAVED SOME EVEN AFTER MY EXPLOSION AND KABOOM!!! WHY AM I STILL ALIVE EVEN AFTER I EXPLODED WITH MY 84391563489564935693456893454813568923456348925B64235 B63425B462356 34 DIFFERENT GASES COMBINED INSIDE ME?!!! WHY DIDN'T YOU ALL DIE BECAUSE OF THE CITRUS MANGO JUICE DEVOURED BY THE EVIL CARNIVOROUS SHEEP-MONKEYS THAT DECIDED TO EAT US ALL AND LOOK HERE THEY COME!!! *points at Ken*
Ken: *pre-occupied*
Schu: ...Um............right.
Farfie: SHANA!! And I hurt God.
Schu: So Yohji Wan went in search of Darth Farfie.
Yohji: ..that's me right?
Schu: o.o I almost understand why Crawford's such an ass now.
Crawford: Good, you- WAIT
Schu: ^__^ I said almost. How can ANYONE be pissy with sexy ME around?
Aya: -_- Let's get on with the story..
Schu: ~_~ So we rescued the Prince and he fell INSTANTLY in love with me.
Crawford: No I didn't.
Schu: Yes, you did.
Crawford: NO I DIDN'T.
Schu: Oh yes you did ^_^
Crawford: NO.
Schu: Yes yes. Give in, or I'll use my jedi mind tricks on you.
Crawford: ...Jedi mind tricks?! You're a fucking telepath!!!
Schu: PREEECISELY!! ^____^
Crawford: -_____- this is so wrong.
Schu: OBVIOUSLY
Crawford: Not that, I mean the story..
Schu: .....So you agree that being in love with me isn't wrong?
Crawford: .....I NEVER SAID THAT.
Schu: ^_^ Too late!
Yohji: ;_;
Omi: -_- BLEEEP.
Nagi: =O Omi, you naughty thing..
Omi: ^_^
Aya: *has wandered far far away by this time*
Schu: *watches* ...and right off the back of the ship!
Aya: O_O
Nagi: o_O He's even more frightening than usual with narrating powers..
Farfie: GIVE THEM TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Schu: NO, THEY'RE MINE DAMN YOU!!!
Farfie: ;_; why don't I get to be the narrator?
Yohji: Because you have unlimited force powers?
Farfie: ...oh. Right. *FLING!*
Yohji: YAAAAAAAAAAAA *crashes into wall*
Nagi: _. Those are MY powers.
Crawford: Can we just get this over with..?
Schu: Anxious, are we?
Crawford: ..........................
Crawford: Get. Away.
Schu: Narrating powers! ^___^ And then Prince Crawford and I flew off to the Planet of SEX!
Crawford: NOOOOOOOOOO!! THERE IS NO PLANET OF SEX
Schu: There is now.
Yohji: ;________________; Can't I go too?
Crawford: !! The story is all WRONG.
Schu: *GRIN* ok! ...wait... help me keep Crawford restrained.
Crawford: I AM GOING NO WHERE!!! THAT DOESN'T HAPPEN IN THE STORY.
Schu: ^___^ We can stretch the truth, my sexy little Star Wars geek.
Crawford: NO.
Aya: (smart move...)
Farfie: FOR YOU HAD HALLUCINOGENIC MUSHROOMS AND A FURRY ORANGE PEEL WHICH HAD BEEN CHIHUAHUAED THREE DAYS AGO AND NOW WE'RE BEING INVADED BY EVIL TOT BUNNIES FROM MARS!!!
Nagi: O.O TOT?! WHERE?!!!
Omi: BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP
Schu: ¬_¬ Now, Omi, language like that isn't appropriate.
Omi: _ bleep bloop. (translation: you swear, too.)
Schu: ...
Schu: ...I am also narrator.
Ken: *loud, random wookie noise*
All: O_O
*Silence*
Schu: ........Right......
Yohji: *ties up Crawford*
Crawford: O_O..._ NO I WILL NOT GO THE STORY IS ALL WRONG AND I DON'T WANT TO SLEEP WITH SCHU BECAUSE THERE IS NO PLANET SEX AND I DID NOT FORSEE ANY OF THIS OR PLANET SEX BEING CREATED SO IT CANNOT HAPPEN. I HATE YOU ALL SO FUCKING MUCH AND ONE DAY I'M GOING TO KILL YOU WHEN YOU'RE ASLEEP JUST LIKE THE RANDOM HIPPIES WHO ALWAYS TRY TO TELL ME THAT PEACE IS GOOD BUT IT ISN'T BECAUSE THERE IDIOTS LIKE THE SEVEN OF YOU WHO NEED TO DIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Farfie: IN A LAKE OF FI...................NO I AM NOT WORTHY.
Schu: o.O Hippies?!
Aya: He lived in America.
Schu: Explains much.
Omi: ..What's a hippie...?
Nagi: They're stupid and they smoke. Like Yohji.
Yohji: o.o ...huh?
Omi: ...I see.
Schu: WIEDERKEHR!
All: o.0 Huh??
Schu: ^_^
Omi: What does it mean?
Schu: Return. As in, RETURN TO ME, MY LOVELY SCHOKOLADE FLUSSKREBS!!
Crawford: *attempts to run*
Schu: *grabs him* ONWARD TO PLANET SEX!
Crawford: *screams unintelligible english*
Schu: *returns with unintelligible German*
Yohji: ..WAIT FOR ME!! *runs after them*
Aya: ....There is no justice in this.
Crawford: OBVIOUSLY, SAVE ME AND I'LL GIVE YOU A TAKATORI PINATA AND VOODOO DOLL!!
Aya: O_O
Aya: *KILL!!!!!*
Schu: O_O BACK!! ^_^ *ties up Aya, too*
Omi: O_o Bleep..
Nagi: ..Let's go before he ties us up too.
Farfie: Schu! TIE ME UP! IT WILL HURT GOD.
Schu: O_O....Um....uh.......OK.
Farfie: EEE
Ken: *suddenly comes back comes back, looking dazed* @_o What did I miss?
Schu: Ah! I'll take Ken too! *proceeds to tie him up*
Ken: AAHHH
Zelly: *appear* *bites Schu, grabs Ken and runs away*
Yohji: QUICK, END THE FIC .
Crawford: KIDSYU8D689YES89TR79SETYRESYTFRSYTREATYRWAPTY UR98ASDTYRESUYTRESAHYTRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
~FIN!~
~KUDOS TO ZELLY AND J-CHAN!~
