Since I'm bored out of my fonging mind, I'll write another chapter.
Weiß Kreuz Fairy Tales
Written by Sakki-san
Considering that my internet's not working either, I should be bored…
I just spent the last hour or so playing a very bloody round of Black & White, so expect a violent yet humorous chapter.
Before I get to the chapter (Readers: *GROAN*), I'm going to take some time to answer questions/comments/really weird random remarks that I've gotten in reviews.
To start:
Zelly: …………….that is adorable. (read
the review. You'll know why) Ken-kitty: *swats at sneeze*
Me: ……AWWWWWWWWWWWW
J-chan: In fact, no, I do *not* know your e-mail, J-chan dear.
Makoto Kudou: You have been one of the most helpful commenters – now just what did Aya say there at the end of that review?
Fei: o_O You don't need to threaten me – I have plenty of friends who will beat me up in real life if I leave them hanging. Trust me, it'll be in this chapter.
Chen-Too: I don't know. Should he? *ponders this* Yotan'd like it…
Katt: First show me some of my competitors. Then maybe I'll let you make it.
Min: Start leaving some pointful comments, dear. I'd *hate* to take back those human rights I sold to you.
Bombay: ^_^ Of course Ken gets a lead part. Just not in this one. o_o Where should Ken get a lead part? *ponders this*
Kobura Dragon: That might not be a bad idea…
Katrina Himeko: I'm going to steal your review. Is that ok?
Akari: Keep reminding me about that, I'm getting worse and worse at putting in the lake of fire.
And as for all the rest of you WONDERFUL commenters who have kept me alive since I started posting….^_^ if you leave reviews that make me go o_o I'll answer YOUR questions, too.
Now then, onto the story!
Farf: *twitching* This coat makes God laugh!
Crawford: So why do YOU care? Aya wears it all the time, and you're Aya.
Farf: …waaaaaahhhhhhhh
Ken: *fingers a dart* I don't know if I can do this.
Crawford: You were a soccer goalie. You have good reflexes.
Ken: Yeah, but reflexes are used for dodging.
Crawford: Well, you used to kick the ball, too.
Ken: I'm just gonna LOVE seeing how you handle my claws.
Crawford: *clenches fist* Not too hard, is it? *slices off his goggles* ….oh, shit.
Omi: Will you two shut up?!
Crawford+Ken: No.
Omi: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ken: Fine, fine. *tries to use the hand held computer*
Computer: *BEEP* ERROR.
Ken: …
All: o.o…
Computer: *BOOM*
All: O.O
Omi: Ken, what did you DO?!
Ken: I pressed the 'on' button.
Omi: Why did the hat have to draw YOU as me?!
Crawford: Because it's cursed or something.
Farf: Cursed hats hurt –
All: YOU'RE AYA, DON'T SAY IT.
Farf: ………-_-…
Crawford: *grumbles*
Voice in the bushes: OW! God damnit!
All: O_O *leap up and hide*
Omi: What was that?! *readies wire*
Other voice in the bushes: Stop trying to untangle yourself and just cut it, baka!
Voice in the bushes: Dammit…dammit…dammit…OW!
Third voice in the bushes: *laughing*
Voice in the bushes: Shi-ne!
WOW a fourth voice in the bushes: Farf doesn't say 'shi-ne'.
Voice in the bushes: THIS @$&%ING OUTFIT HURTS GOD, THEN!!!
Ken: Wait! I know that voice!
Crawford: We *ALL* know who that is.
All: *leap into a clearing!*
…
*and abruptly all facefault.*
Aya: *is caught halfway in a tree by the bandages on his arms and chest, and struggling to get out*
Schu: *laughing so hard he's collapsed on the ground*
Nagi: *trying to help untangle Aya*
Yohji: *watching*
Crawford: What in the…
Farf: *giggles*
Omi: *DARK LOOK*
Farf: ….-_-….
Aya: *looking ready to cry by this time* God-f@$^ing-dammit!
Nagi: *frustrated beyond belief* Why, for the last time, can't you just CUT these?!
Aya: Because Schuldich – um, Nagi – said if I did he'd…erm...
Yohji: ….said he'd do what? ^_^
Aya: IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, NOW UNTANGLE THESE!!!
Omi: SCHWARZ!
All 'Schwarz': *jump* EH?!
Ken: …uh…YOU EVIL BASTARDS, DIE!!! *throws darts at Yohji*
Yohji: O.O
Ken: *misses by five feet*
Yohji: ….AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Ken: O_O I didn't know Crawford laughed like that.
Crawford: I don't.
Yohji: *pulls out his gun* =D This is a perk to being an American. They all carry guns.
Ken: O_O OH GOD!
Omi: *fires string*
String: *goes berserk and ends up tying Omi up*
Omi: O_O ARGH! *fires it again*
String: *FWEEEEEE!!!!*
Nagi: *suddenly tangled in wire* …o_o…what the…
Omi: AHA!...*can't move* !!!
Aya: *still tangled*
Crawford: -_- *sigh*
Aya: o.o….
Crawford: *walks in Aya's direction, claws out*
Aya: O_O *desperately pulls at the bandages* GOD-@$&*ING-DAMMIT!!!
Crawford: *slice slice slice*
Aya: !!!....*falls to the ground, all free of tangle-ness* …o_o?
Crawford: There, now we can fight.
Aya: ….oh. *pulls out knives*
*since Crawford and Aya are probably the only adequate fighters with their newly-gained weapons (even though Brad's a bit rusty with the whole claw deal), they actually start a logical fight. Picture it for yourself, because the only way I can describe it would not be much of a humorous fight.*
Schu: *laughing on the ground still*
Ken: *looks at Schu* ………….um…..
Schu: *realizes Aya's not tangled anymore* O_O *leaps up* ….=D
Ken: O_O…*tries to run away*
Schu: Don't run away! *attempts to float Ken*
Ken: *crashes into a tree* .….
Schu: *fist in the air* YES!
Yohji: Um…I think he was just clumsy, Sch – Nagi…
Schu: …so?! *leaps at Ken*
Ken: AAAA!!! *throws darts*
*and so a vicious, rabid, and mainly humorous fight ensued, with Yohji and Farf randomly mutilating each other with bullets and a katana, Omi and Nagi pretending to viciously wound each other, Ken fleeing from Schu and running into random trees, and Crawford and Aya actually fighting until they realize what their teammates are doing*
Both: …
Crawford: …*looks at Aya* You look pretty uncomfortable like that.
Aya: I am. This is *not* my usual wear.
Crawford: Obviously. What say we go get you some better clothes?
Aya: o.o….
Crawford: Just a suggestion.
Aya: …alright… *suspicious look*
Crawford: *seizes Aya and walks off*
Aya: O.O AAH!
*the rest continue to fight, oblivious to Aya's screaming.*
~~~
*three hours later, and they're still at it. Aya and Crawford are still gone.*
Omi: grr….*blinks* Hey, where'd Aya go?
Nagi: *blinks* I don't know. And Crawford's gone, too.
Omi: ….you know what this means, right?
Nagi: No, but I really *could* use some sunglasses like Lord Ilpalazzo…
Omi: No, that's not it! *whisperwhisper*
Nagi: O.O oh…
Omi: ^_^
Nagi: …*walks off with Omi right behind him*
Farf: HEY, DON'T LEAVE!!! *turns to Yohji* YOU MADE THEM GO AWAY, SHI-NE!!!
Yohji: O_O Wow, you're really into this part!
Farf: Who's talking about a part?
Yohji: …O_O God Almighty!
Farf: ….*twitch*
Schu: *gets cut* OW! God damn you, Omi!
Farf: …o.O
Ken: *narrowly misses running into another tree…he's being chased in circles around the clearing* AAAAAH! GOD SAVE ME!!
Farf: ….*jerks*
Yohji: …?
Schu: *laughs* I'm gonna catch you! Better start praying!
Farf: …_@...
Ken: *whirls, lunges, and suddenly they two are fighting on the ground* You little devil! I'll send you so far under the ground God won't be able to find you for judgement!
Farf: …@_…
Schu: Hah, I'd like to see a naïve little angel like you try it!
Yohji: …hey, guys? Um, I think you shouldn't –
Ken: You God damned bastard!
Schu: Pray for your life, you little rat!
Ken: God cursed manwhore!
Schu: Angelic little bitch!
Yohji: Ken?? Schu?!
Schu: *has an arm positioned up, ready to punch Ken in the face*
Ken: *has both hands around Schu's neck*
Both: What?!
Yohji: *points at Farf*
Both: *look*
Farf: *twitching madly* …_@....@_…_@_…@__@...
Both: …oh my God...
Farf: …O_O…
Yohji: o_o! *ducks and hides*
Schu+Ken: …uh oh…
Farf: *explodes* HOW DARE YOU USE GOD'S NAME SO MANY TIMES IN ONE FIGHT AND SAY THAT HE'S THE ETERNAL JUDGER OF ALL!!! I WILL KILL YOU FOR SAYING THAT AND THEN YOU'LL END UP BURNING IN THE LAKE OF FIRE!!!!!!! JUST LIKE BRITNEY SPEARS WHO NEVER REALLY GOT OUT AND HER LITTLE MOUSIE FRIENDS WHO STILL WORSHIP HER DESPITE THE FACT THAT SHE'S DEAD, WHY IN FACT THEY'VE CREATED MANY SEVERAL LITTLE SHRINES TO HER IN VARIOUS PLACES AROUND THE WORLD MAINLY FIXATED IN AMERICA BECAUSE THAT'S WHERE SHE WAS BORN AND THE AMERICAN CULTURE IS FLOURISHING IN AN EXPLOSION OF SKIERS CRASHING INTO TREES AND GOING BOOM JUST LIKE KEN DID WHEN HE HIT THAT FIRST TREE AND NOW IT'S ALL MUTILATED AND IT'S GOING TO COME TO LIFE JUST LIKE IN WARCRAFT III AND KILL US ALL FOR WE ARE THE PATHETIC HUMANS WHO LIKE MONTY PYTHON WHICH HAS ALTERED OUR CULTURE SO MADLY WELL AND THE COMBINED POCKY DNA WITH A ROOSTER AND A LAKE OF FIIRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE AND BRAD AND AYA PROBABLY ALREADY SCREWED BY THIS TIME OR PROBABLY MORE THAN ONCE BECAUSE I SAW BRAD TAKING PILLS THIS MORNING AND THEY MIGHT HAVE BEEN VIAGRA WHICH IS SPOKESMANED BY AL GORE WHO IS GOING TO DIE AND ISN'T PRESIDENT WHICH MAKES HIM SAD AND I COULD HAVE SAID A LOT MORE RANDOM STUFF BUT NOW I'M RUNNING OUT OF AIR SO BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA AND A LAKE OF FIREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *passes out*
Ken, Schu, and Yohji: O_O
Farf: X_x
Yohji: …let's return the clothes, go back to our normal positions, bring everyone home, and swear never to do or speak of this ever again.
Ken and Schu: *nod*
~THE END~
Next parody will be based on review input. And no, I won't do an Excel Saga parody until I've SEEN the fonging show.
Oh, and anyone who draws a picture related to/out of this story will get a chapter done to their exact request and dedicated to them. I will write ANY parody for anybody who draws out of this. T_T It would make me ever so happy. And wouldn't you just LOOVE to have a chapter with YOUR pick of characters? ^___^
