Chapter 15 and 16…they…they DISSAPEARED.
Weiß Kreuz Fairy Tales
Written by Sakki-san Farfarello
My God…he got ahold of the keyboard.
Schu: FKDJSKLFJDSKLFJDSKLFJLDFDSJFF
Yohji: What's up with you?
Schu: Hm? Did I do something?
Yohji: …
Omi: o_o; Yeah,you just went, "FKDJSKLFJDSKLFJDSKLFJLDFDSJFF".
Schu: …I did, didn't I. Huh.
Aya: *whap*
Schu: KFJDSKLFJDKSLJFKSLFJSDKLFJSDKLFFFFF!!!!
Aya: …
Crawford: It's her new way of censoring swear words.
Sakki: QUIET, J00. Or I'll make you speak in nothing but l33t.
Crawford: …
Sakki: And I am writing these. Sort of.
Schu: …sort of?
Yohji: How does one sort of write a fic?
Sakki: Don't ask. Now, ON WITH THE SHORT AND CRAPPY PARODY.
Farf: …
Nagi: -_-; I can't believe we're doing this.
Yohji: We don't have to do anything. Let's just leave. *leaves*
Schu: O_O Hey! I want to leave, too!
Aya: *leaves*
Schu: Wait for me! *leaves*
Crawford: *leaves*
Omi: O_O…O_O...
Nagi: *leaves*
Omi: O_O!!! *leaves!*
Farf: ...
Ken: ...
Farf: ...
Ken: ...o_o;;; *leaves*
Farf: ...if they're gone, I control the fic.
All: *are still gone*
Farf: …:D…
All: *don't return*
Farf: *stands up, brushes off his vest, and pulls out a knife* This…is a knife. A very nice knife, if you examine it closely. Please observe the 5 inch serrated blade. 'Serrated', for those of you who don't know, means a jagged edge. Mine has a shark-fin pattern of serration. Now, if you'll turn your attention to the hilt…
*time passes*
Farf: …and that's how to properly decapitate a movie star with a spoon. Any question?
Farf's Fanclub: *________________________*
Farf: …
Fanclub: *______________________*
Farf: …Go away.
Fanclub: *______________________* EEE
Fangirl 1: *____* Your voice is so POWERFUL.
Fangirl 2: *____* It's like Ansem's.
Fanclub: O_O…
Fangirl 2: …O_O;;;;;;;; I MEAN –
Fanclub: =O *BEATMAULFORKRIPTEARGOUGE* HOW DARE YOU MAKE CONNECTIONS BETWEEN FARF AND ANYBODY ELSE!!!
Farf: …This amuses me.
*more time passes*
Farf: …without managing to get blood all over yourself in the process. Ok, for the last time, any questions?
Fanclub: *_____________________*
Farf: …that's it, you have ceased to amuse me. Morton, kill them.
Large Dog: *LUNGERIPTEARKILLGOUGEMAULSHREIKKNIFESPOONKSDLJFKLDSJKLDSJFF*
Fanclub: *dies* X____x
Farf: …hee hee…
Schu: *returns* e_e God, that was some – O_O WHAT THE HELL
Farf: *whirls* Ah! Schu! You're just in time for the second half of my fic!
Schu: …wait, YOUR fic? When the hell did that happen?
Farf: When you left.
Schu: …What about that weird bitchy authoress who hangs around?
Farf: I think I killed her.
Schu: …I don't know whether to be horrified or overjoyed.
Farf: Be both.
Schu: …right.
Farf: And, since I now control this fic, I demand that everyone returns.
All: *appear*
Aya: …_@@@@ SHI-NE
Crawford: *SMACK* Shut up.
Aya: _@@@@...
Yohji: O_O I thought I was at a club.
Omi: I thought I was in a field of wildflowers.
Nagi: I thought I was dead. -_e
Omi: o_o…
Farf: Alright, listen up, you incoherent bastards. I run this fic now, and you're going to do what I say. Otherwise, I rip out your intestines and make you eat them, and when that's done, I'll rip them out again and strangle you with them. Got it?
All: o_O…
Farf: I'm serious.
Schu: XD Yeah right, like you could –
Farf: *TACKLE*
Schu: O______________O AAAAAAAAGETITOFFMEGETITOFFMEAAAUGGHHHOHGOD
Farf: Don't doubt me, manwhore.
Schu: O_____________________O;;;
Farf: …*climbs off* Ok, let's get moving. Schu, since you were the last one to offend me, get in the dress.
Schu: O_________________O…. NO.
Farf: Do it, or I'll make you wear something even girlier. Not like you need it to enhance your womanly looks.
Schu: $#^@$*&$@%^#^&^*%$#^%@%...
Crawford: …
Farf: Ok, places. *ahem* One day, a very ordinary little girl was walking by the river.
Schu: I AM NOT A LITTLE GIRL AND I AM NOT ORDINARY.
Farf: Oh, of course. My mistake. One day, a very stupid little manwhore was walking by the river.
Schu :FKDJSKLFJDSKLFJDSKLFJKLSDJFDKLSFJKSDJFSDJFDKFJ#$@^$#&!q%tgdfsg%#wtgreagSDAGSDAGFDAG$^#@^@$!!!!!
Nagi: If those were real swear words, I'd be impressed.
Schu: *SEEETHEFUME*
Farf: Shut up. I have Sakki's keyboard hostage and am training it to bite her whenever she starts writing a fic.
Keyboard: p_q
Nagi: …huh?
Farf: Aside from that, many keyboards are caught feral in the wild by the laser rifles of Microsoft, and often eat fluffy cheese for breakfast. But fuzzy cheese is just as nutrientful, and therefore supplies an excellent diet for blue wildebeests, who feed off orange peels.
Crawford: …
Nagi: …
Aya: …
Ken: …
Schu: …
Yohji: I believe the correct word is 'nutritious'.
Farf: Shut up, other manwhore.
Yohji: …
Farf: Anyway, she – ah, he, excuse me – was walking along the river when a large white rabbit ran by with a gold watch.
Crawford: My watch says I am not late.
Farf: …give me that.
Crawford: No. It's Rolex. You'll ruin it.
Farf: *SNATCH* *turns the dial a little* Here, it was stopped.
Crawford: …
Farf: …Look, your stocks are about to start running.
Crawford: No they're not. Let me check my watch. *looks* ….DEAR GOD I'M LATE *RUNS*
Schu: …what the hell?
Farf: The little girl – boy, I'm sorry again – followed the rabbit.
Schu: You're not sorry.
Farf: I know. Lying hurts God.
Ken: …*raises hand* I have a question.
Farf: Shoot.
Ken: Why is Crawford the white rabbit?
Farf: Because he's always wearing white and he had a gold watch. Now shut up and submit, bitch.
Ken: ..T_T
Farf: Anyway, she – he – ran to the place where the rabbit had gone down and jumped because it was a little bitch.
Schu: … "it"?
Farf: You've got a man's anatomy and a woman's body.
Schu: FJDSKLFJDSKLFJDSFKJSFFF STOP SAYING THAT
Farf: Well, if you took off your shirt, maybe I'd call you a man.
Schu: YOU MADE ME WEAR THIS DRESS.
Farf: Oh, right. Anyway…he wound up in Wonderland.
Schu: Uncreative today, are we?
Farf: Ok then, we'll call it God Hurting Land, and I'm not changing it. Now wear this.
Schu: T_T I had to ask, didn't I.
Ken: Cheese.
Farf: *SMACK*
Ken: O_O ;-;
Farf: Now put it on.
Schu: …spike jewelry.
Farf: It hurts God.
Schu: …X_X
Farf: Put it on, manwhore-thing. So she wandered –
Schu: I'M A HE
Farf: Sorry. HE wandered through God Hurting Land, looking for the White Armani Businessman who had run by before.
Ken: …but you called him –
Farf: how many times do I have to hit you?
Ken: ;-;
Farf: Better. On his way, he ran into…flowers.
Aya: Shi-ne.
Schu: …o_o……._….XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
Aya: SHI-NEEEEEEE
Schu: XD XD XD X3 Aya, you look just aDORable hanging from that rose outfit!
Aya: I k33l j00.
All: …
Aya: …shi-ne.
Schu: ^_^ This is too good.
Aya: Nice dress, Schu.
Schu: …-__-
Farf: The flowers began to sing.
Aya: NO I WILL NOT SING YOU $#^@ING STUPID CRAZY IRISHMAN I DON'T CARE WHAT KIND OF BRUTALITY YOU PULL OFF ON ME
Farf: Ok, I'll just do it to your sister.
Aya: O_O…O___________________________O
Farf: Now sing, Kurama.
Aya: ;_______________________; Aya-chaaaaan...
Farf: Save the sisters. Sing for Life.
Aya: ;-;…-_- *ahem*
*Aya proceeds to sing the flower song, but since I don't have the tape and Farf busted my VCR, I can't tell you what it is. Just use your imaginations.*
Schu: *half dead from laughter*
Aya: *beats Schu with sword* FKLJDSKLFJSLKFJSLFJ SHI-NE.
Schu: OW XD OW XD OW XD
Farf: The flowers stopped beating the poor girl –
Schu: BOY
Farf: …boy, and he ran like a madman toward the sound of singing.
Schu: No. Not more singing.
Aya: *still attached to the stem of his flower* SHI-NEEEEEE
Farf: Yes, more singing. Now get to it.
Schu: =_=
Farf: And he saw…the Mad Ratter.
Nagi: Ph33r.
Schu: …mad…ratter?
Farf: Hatter got boring. So now it's the Mad Ratter. He skins rats.
Nagi: Work sucks, but the pay is good.
Schu: …o___o;;
Nagi: Ok, crossdresser, let's get you some tea. *telekinetically flings tea at Schu*
Schu: *catch* o_o This looks like blood.
Nagi: It is.
Schu: …
Nagi: Hey, I have to do something with the rat bodies.
Schu: …I…think I'll pass.
Nagi: Bitch. Drink it.
Schu: I don't drink blood.
Nagi: Some man.
Schu: …
Nagi: All men drink blood at least once in their lives. So get to it. Unless you really are a little girl.
Schu: I AIN'T. *drinks tea* …wait, this doesn't taste like blood. It tastes like sake.
Nagi: Oh, yeah, that's one of the key ingredients in making chicken noodle soup. Don't you know?
Schu: …I thought you said this was blood.
Nagi: It is.
Schu: …I'm leaving now.
Nagi: Sure, whatever, come back and help me skin rats sometime. I could use the help.
Schu: Right. …Hey, did you see a White Armani Businessman run by here?
Nagi: Yeah, I broke his watch.
Schu: And you're still alive?
Nagi: He's not gonna touch me, I have rat blood all over me.
Schu: …
Nagi: But he did shoot me. It kind of hurt, too. Well, back to the rat skinning, I guess. Ooh! There's a big one!
Schu: o_o That's my foot.
Nagi: All the better for me.
Schu: O_O;
Farf: So he left the Mad Ratter for a happier, brighter, sniffier place.
Ken: …
Farf: …
Ken: o_o;
Farf: …
Ken: O_O?!!
Farf: *SMACK*
Ken: O_O T_T ;-;...
Farf: You make one more facial expression and I violently screw your brains out. Graphically. Thus making this fic a lemon.
Ken: *does not make any facial expressions*
Farf: Good, you're learning. Back to the story. After wandering a bit, the poor heroine –
Schu: HERO, DAMMIT. Nagi, stop chewing on my foot.
Nagi: Ratty goodness. *chewchew*
Schu: *KICK* T_T Where am I going?
Farf: You found your White Armani Businessman.
Crawford: $#^%$#@^#@$^$#!%$@&*@^$# Stupid stocks…
Schu: …My god.
Yohji: It's like something out of a real life situation.
Farf: Brad, you're scaring the children.
Crawford: I don't $%@$^#@ care.
Yohji: Such language. Here, eat some soap.
Crawford: *SMACK* I have stocks to run.
Farf: The heroine – er, I mean, HERO – met up with…the King of Bleeding Hearts. But first, he saw CardGuards dipping roses in blood.
Yohji: *singing* Paint the roses red! Paint them oh-so red! Red like blood! Red like –
Farf: That is blood.
Yohji: ….ewww….Ah, who cares.
Schu: …You get stranger by the day.
Yohji: If you can't beat em, go with em.
Schu: …So what are you doing?
Yohji: Dipping flowers in blood.
Aya: *koff* *sputter*
Schu: o_o Why are you doing this?
Yohji: Because they're white and the King of Bleeding Hearts wants them red.
Schu: …you're drowning the rose.
Aya: X___x
Yohji: Oops. *puts it back on the rosebush*
*just imagine a chibi-sized Aya rose.*
Aya: @___o;;
Schu: …So…where do I find your…King?
Yohji: He's right over there.
Farf: Booyah.
Ken: *does not make a facial expression*
Schu: Oh, shit.
Farf: I am the King of Bleeding Hearts. You have invaded my land. It's your fault that things are going wrong. Off with your head.
Crawford: _@@@@ *shoots Schu*
Schu: *SHOT* X_____X
Farf: …:D
Yohji: Hey, I have a question.
Farf: Shoot.
Crawford: *aims*
Farf: No, I meant, ask the question. Not shoot him. Dumbass.
Crawford: …
Yohji: What's Ken supposed to be? And why wasn't this longer?
Farf: This wasn't longer because Sakki woke up, and Ken is my bitch. *tugonleash*
Ken: *does not make a facial expression*
Yohji: …That's disgusting. *goes back to the roses*
Farf: Hn.
~…FIN~
My…God. That…SUCKED. o_O;;;; I promse I'll do better next time, and they'll all be back in character. But I felt I needed to update.
And in other news, a moneky fell from the sky. That is all.
*SHOT*
