Weiß Kreuz Fairy Tales
Written by Sakki
Look! I'm not dead!
Crawford: *SHOOT*
…dammit.
Sakki: Finals make God laugh
Farf: Finals must die
Omi: Finals are good.
Sakki: …*EAT*
Omi: O___O *EATEN?!*
Sakki: Ugh...too sweet. *SPIT*
Omi: p_q Now I'm all covered in Sakki slobber.
Yohji: Go away, Sakki. You're not interesting. *SHOVE*
Sakki: HEY I OWNZ J00
Yohji: …?
Sakki: …nobody understands me. =_= *goes to play Kingdom Hearts*
Crawford: *SHOOTS SAKKI*
Sakki: @____O AAAUGH *SHOT*
Schu: What was that for?
Crawford: Everything.
Schu: …
Crawford: …that she did to me.
Schu: …ah.
Farf: …:3
Schu: …o_o?
Farf: …this is the song that never ends…
Schu: o_O;
Ken: AAAAAA NO STOP NO DON'T SING THAT NOT THAT SONG ANY SONG BUT THAT SONG AAAAAAAA
Farf: XD It just goes on and on MY FRIIIENDS
Ken: *SCREAMANDDIE*
Yohji: …what the HELL. This is so screwed.
Schu: Obviously.
Yohji: Not quite as screwed as when Ken hid on the lampshade, though…
Schu: Not quite.
Ken: That reminds me, I need some string cheese.
All: …
Ken: …what? O_o I was looking at Yohji's crotch, and -
Schu: *SNORT*
Yohji: _____ KEN, SHUT UP.
Ken: o_o?
Omi: O__O; Ken!
Nagi: …I have nothing to do with this.
Crawford: I won't laugh, but I did find that statement amusing.
Ken: p_q
Schu: XD _ Pull the stick outta yer ass, Brad. XD XD XD
Crawford: -_-;
Farf: Some people – STARTED SINGING IT not knowing what it WAAAS
Ken: O___O DIE?!
Farf: And now they can't stop singing it forever just because this is the song that never EEENNNDSSS *BREAATHE* @__x;
Yohji: I have a question.
Schu: Shoot.
Yohji: Where's Aya?
Schu: …I'm not sure.
Crawford: He's over there, looting Sakki's dead body.
Sakki: *DEAD!*
Crawford: …Aya, get away from her.
Aya: :3
Yohji: O_O;;; That's not healthy.
Ken: o-o Aya? Why are you grinning like that?
Aya: I found the scri~ipt…
All: …FJDKLSJFLSDJFKLSJFF GIVE IT TO ME
Aya: NO. *stands up* It's MY turn to narrate, you bastards! And I'm going to narrate whether you give a @$^% or not!
Schu: Not if I have anything to say about it. *POUNCE*
(And thus the vicious Schu-mon LEAPS upon his prey, the lonesome Ayachu…)
Aya: -_- *dodge*
Schu: *SPLAT*
Omi: …ewwwww...
Nagi: Gross. I got Schuldich brains all over me.
Aya: :3 Now then. What did she have planned for today…?
Crawford: I'm almost afraid to find out.
Aya: So am I. Hey, it looks like we're doing Sailor Moon again.
All: FJKDSJFKAJKLGJLDKSJAD WHAT
Aya: Just make a change here….a change there…make Schu in a leotard…
Schu: WASN'T I EMBARRASSED ENOUGH *LAST* CHAPTER?!
Aya: I still need to get back at you for the flower scene.
Schu: BUT THAT WAS FARF'S IDEA
Aya: Your point?
Schu: ….________!
Aya: Anyway. Because I hate you all equally, I'm picking your parts. Crawford, get in the miniskirt.
Crawford: No.
Schu: *NOSEBLEED*
Aya: Do it.
Crawford: I have superiority.
Aya: I have a sword.
Crawford: I have a gun.
Aya: I have a paintbrush.
Crawford: I have a banana-flavored pillow.
Yohji: …what the hell.
Schu: Hey, could somebody scoop my intestines back into my stomach?
Omi: O_O NOO
Nagi: -_- Moron. *FLING!*
Schu: Ow.
Aya: SHI-NE
Crawford: SHI-NE
Aya: RAR
Crawford: RARAR
Aya: O___O…*EATS CRAWFORD*
Crawford: *EATEN*
Aya: :3
All: O__O
Aya: Now submit, bitches.
Yohji: …
Schu: Those are three words I would never have expected to hear him say in public.
Nagi: Yeah, I thought he'd only say that to Ken.
Ken: O_O?!
Aya: *EATS NAGI*
Nagi: __ Spit me out.
Aya: ._. *spits out*
Nagi: Disgusting.
Aya: Anyway. If any of you piss me off again, I'm going to eat you. Got it?
All: Yes SIR.
Farf: :3 eating people hurts god
Aya: _
Farf: …-_x; Eating people REALLY hurts God.
Aya: Alright. Schu, you're playing Sailor Mars.
Schu: -____-
Aya: You've got a slightly longer skirt. Be thankful.
Schu: …For WHAT?
Aya: I don't know. Figure it out. Omi, you're Mercury.
Omi: Is it because I like computers?
Aya: -___- NO. It's because you're a freaking DITZ and OPTIMIST, my God-cursed NEMESISES in LIFE.
Omi: O_O…
Aya: Yes, it's because you like computers. Moron. Ken, you're Jupiter.
Ken: …I won't ask why.
Aya: Good boy. Yohji, since you're such a slut, you're Venus.
Yohji: :D She turns me on.
Aya: We'll see how well you turn yourself on in that miniskirt.
Yohji: …_@
Aya: Anyway. Who's left? Farf and Nagi…I ate Crawford. That's 8. Nagi, you're that stupid mask guy, and Farf is Sailor Moon.
Nagi: …I'm Farf's lover and future husband?
Farf: That really hurts God. *STABCHAIR*
Aya: Yes, Nagi. You are. Now get in the tux.
Nagi: -__-;
Aya: And now we begin. *ahem* One day the schoolgirls were walking to school.
Ken: p_q I don't like this miniskirt.
Farf: *I* like it on you.
Ken: o_o…
Schu: XD I get to go to a private school with longer skirts. SEE YA! *zoom*
Yohji: Bastard.
Omi: o_o This computer is too small. I can't see anything. *squint* …
Ken: *tugonskirt* This thing keeps riding up on me.
All: …
Aya: …*nosebleed*
Ken: O_O;
Aya: _!! *rubs nose* ANYWAY. Then, out of nowhere, a MONSTER APPEARED!
Takatori: And so I was saying –
Aya: O___O SHI-NE
Yohji: *SMACK*
Aya: ___!...right. Go kill the monster.
Crawford: *DIGESTED!*
Farf: Ok. MOON POWER MAKEUP SHIZNAT CRAP STUFF!
Omi: DITTO!
Farf: ___
Omi: …p_q BLUE MAKEUPY CRAP!
Yohji: SEXY TURN-ON MAKEUP GIRLS WEAR!
Ken: …uh… GREEN…POWER STUFF?
Aya: -_-;
Ken: OH RIGHT. *achoo* EARTH POWER INEDIBLE TOXIC FACE CRAP!!
Schu: FLAMETHROWER!!
Aya: And to think, I didn't help with that.
Farf: I AM SAILOR GODHURTERFROMHELL! YOU SHALL NOW DIE BECAUSE IT HURTS GOD! *POINT*
Omi: O_O
Farf: …*KICK*
Omi: @___x;; I AM SAILOR COMPUTERGENIUSHACKERFOO. I SHALL…HELP DESTROY YOU.
Yohji: ^_~ I am SAILOR SEXY! I'LL TURN YOU ON AND YOUR GROIN SHALL EXPLODE!
All: O_O
Yohji: What? I am SO that sexy.
Aya: -___-
Ken: I'M…SAILOR…OO! RIGHT! SAILOR SPORTINGGOODS! IF YOU DON'T BUY FROM ME, I'LL BEAT YOU TO DEATH WITH A MONKEY!
Farf: A monkey…from HELL?!
Ken: O_O…I don't know?
Farf: Good boy.
Schu: I AM SAILOR REALLYSUPERHOT! I WINK, YOU DIE!
Aya: Really.
Schu: *WINK*
Girl: *DIES*
Aya: …o_o; Really.
Schu: :D
Aya: -_-; So the Sailor Stupids flew off somehow to destroy the evil monster who had gone twenty blocks by the time they were done transforming and introducing themselves.
Schu: Wait. Sailor Stupids?
Aya: You are.
Schu: GOD. I hate you SO DAMN MUCH.
Aya: Good. They finally encountered the monster, the evil Takatoria.
Yohji: My, aren't we creative today.
Aya: Why don't I castrate you?
Yohji: O_O I'll be good
Aya: For once, you're smart. The evil Takatoria left his car and ATTACKED.
Takatori: I need money. Hey, you girls – boys? – girls? – boys? – oh, who cares. Kids, get over here. I'll let you sleep with me if you pay me twenty thousand yen each!
All: *GIRLYSCREAM*
Takatori: :D
Farf: O____x THAT REALLY HURTS GOD
Takatori: Say, some of you look familiar. Oh well. C'mon! It's cheap!
Schu: Get it AWAYY~!
Yohji: You get it away!
Omi: I feel victimized!
Ken: RAPE!! RAAAAPPPEEE!!
Aya: Suddenly, a daisy ripped through Takatoria's stupid moustache.
Takatori: OW! What was that? A daisy? Hm, kinda pretty. I think I'll keep it. I wonder where Crawford is…he always has extra pockets.
Crawford: *TRAVELS THROUGH AYA'S INTESTINES!*
Aya: And thus appeared the amazing…Catsuit Nagi.
Nagi: -_- I think I would have preferred the tux.
Omi: O____O
Schu: …WOW. I like the fishnet pantyhose, Nagi.
Nagi: _ Shut up, Schuldich.
Aya: Yes. Catsuit Nagi, dressed not in a catsuit, but in one of those skimpy outfits with cat ears and a tail, appeared with daisies in his mouth to stop the evil Takatoria from taking advantage of the poor girls.
All: BOYS
Aya: You look like girls.
Schu: It was your idea.
Aya: Hn.
Takatori: NO! Now I'll have to reduce myself to drastic measures to knock them out! *PULL OFF SHIRT*
Schu: O______O *FAINT*
Yohji: O__O…GROSSSSSS EWWW GET IT AWAAAY~
Ken: OHMYGOD THAT'S HORRIBLY TERRIBLY DISGUSTINGLY – Ooo, look! A butterfly!
Omi: MY EYEESSSS! MY VIRGIN EYES!
Nagi: You're not a virgin, Omi.
Omi: Huh?
Nagi: Remember? Back in December…?
Omi: …oh…yeah…right…
All: …
Omi: …o_o; I was drunk?
All: …
Omi: ...I was…lonely?
Aya: …god, I hate you.
Omi:
;-;
Aya: Anyway…they lost control of two Stupids, but the remaining two and Catsuit
Nagi took on Takatoria.
Nagi: GET HIM BEFORE HE TAKES OFF HIS PANTS!
Farf: YIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYI~
Omi: SUPER WINGED GENKI DARTS OF DEATH!
Aya: You used that last time.
Omi: ;-;…
Aya: Use a new attack, bitch.
Omi: O_O…p_q HOMING MISSLE FLYING ARROW DART-LIKE THINGS FROM THE PLANET X!
Aya: Better.
Nagi: DAISIES!
Farf: *MAUL!*
Takatori: NOOO I AM DEAD
Aya: …it's like something out of Romeo and Juliet.
Nagi: Is it dead?
Omi: I sure hope so.
Farf: I'll make sure. *STAB*
Takatori: *VANISH!*
Aya: And so they defeated the evil Takatoria.
All: YAY!
Aya: And that's the end. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to use the bathroom. *leaves*
*moments later*
Crawford: I hate you.
Aya: …WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY – oh. Right. I ate you, didn't I.
Crawford: Yes, you did. So I expect some manner of payment.
Aya: …
Crawford: Take off your pants and your shirt.
Aya: SHI-NE
Crawford: *TACKLE*
Bathroom door: *SHUTS*
All: DAMMIT
Omi: p_q
Nagi: *comfort*
Yohji: …so is Farf gonna do another explosion or something?
Farf: No. But I will do this.
Schu: *unconscious*
Yohji: Ok, do it. *sits on Schu*
Farf: *grabs Ken*
Ken: O_O?!
Farf: *PASSIONATE KISS!*
Ken: @___________________@
Yohji: O___O
Schu: x___x
Farf: And now I screw him.
Ken: @__________________________@
Aya: HOLY DAVID
Crawford: D
~FIN~
Dammit, if this doesn't work right, I'm going to kill something.
Sorry it was so short. But I felt like updating.
And does anybody know how Sanosuke is properly pronounced?!
