REALLY BIG AND IMPORTANT NOTE: for various reasons, this fanfic is going to be moved to a new account.  I will still be using Annaicuru but it will be for mostly-het (male/female) stories only.  The new account, Kanothalion, will be for my slash stories.  After I post this chapter I will wait a few days (till around the 2nd of September) and then delete this story from Annaicuru.  I will post this fic on Kanothalion today, so temporarily there will be two of this fic.  If I add any more chapters to this story between now and the 2nd, they will be loaded on Kanothalion so please add that name to your Author Alerts.  On Kanothalion the story will be called 'Innocent Child' until I delete the fic from this username, when it will be renamed 'Just A Child'.

Unfortunately I will lose all the reviews posted here so far (so if you review this chapter on this account as opposed to on Kanothalion your  review will be lost) but I'd like to give a huge thank you to all of you who read, especially those who review, and please carry on to do so!

I'm sorry if that causes loads of trouble.

Anyway, on with Merry and Pippin.  I'm glad to hear you're enjoying it so much!

Just A Child            Chapter Five

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----They're waiting for me again, here in the dark.  The night-terrors that have been with me ever since I can remember.  The creatures that have no names, and are only known by screams.  The beasts that grab and hold and terrify and torture…  Whenever the light goes out, they form in the shadows and come to take me.  They make my heart race and they make me so afraid that I scream and I cry out…

Which is why you left me here in the first place.  Because I'm a baby.  Because the second you slammed the door I whimpered and then I began to cry.  And now I've pulled the pillow over my head so They can't see me, and I'm screaming and sobbing and choking on tears and feeling so wretched…  And I can't even get up and run to the door, because I might trip and fall and then I'd still be in the darkness…

Still be alone.  Before now I was never alone.  You were always there.  But now I've messed up.  And everything is so, so different. ----

***

Frodo was woken up by Merry, who looked unusually brisk and worried.  Frodo put it down to the fact that Merry had been up packing for a good few hours, and even managed to be – mostly – unconcerned by the fact that Merry slammed the door behind him.  Anyone could have a bad day.

He dressed quickly, yawning as he did so.  The Ring was cold on the bare skin of his chest.  Deathly cold.  Terribly cold.  He shivered, and tried to turn his mind from its dead weight.  He was still in the Shire, and would be until they entered the Old Forest that day.  He was still safe, though he drew danger towards him.

When he was ready he padded out of the room, closing the door – for the last time? – behind him, and moving along the hall towards the kitchen where his breakfast was waiting.  The worn carpet, that was somehow familiar though he had only felt it this once, was comforting under his feet with its well-worn texture and peaceful colours, the yellows and greens which hobbits so loved.  Which he so loved, when it came to it.  As much as he had always thought it boring, he now realized just how much the Shire was his home and his comfort.  It was peaceful and happy, its folk carefree –

Or not.  Carefree hobbits didn't moan and sob and whimper and keen, as did the one who was in the room to his right.  There was only one hobbit he knew who made the odd howling sound anyway: Pippin, whose range of vocal expression in every emotion – fear and joy and mirth and all others – was astounding.  Frodo stopped walking, shocked, and stepped a little closer to the door.  Yes, it was his little cousin Pippin in there, and no mistaking it.  He sounded terrified.  Frodo's kind spirit was instantly concerned, and he raised one hand to tap on the wooden door quietly.  'Pippin?' he called.  'Pippin, what's the matter?'

Frodo?  Frodo, come here and save me and love me and treasure me and make it all better…  Pippin stopped mid-mewl, and looked towards Frodo's voice and therefore the door.  'Frodo,' he choked, licking his lips to clear the salt of his tears from them.  'Frodo….'

The pleading tone left Frodo with no choice than to barge in.  He opened the door quickly, and entered the room.  Pitch black assailed his eyes, maliciously blocking Pippin from his sight.  Carefully Frodo closed the door behind him, guiding it back till it clicked shut.  He sensed that privacy was important to the young hobbit here.  Slowly he walked forwards, hands in front of him, till he reached the far wall.  There was silence.  Pippin made no sound as he strained to see in the dark.  Using his sense of touch to guide him, Frodo found the curtains and sighed gratefully.  He still didn't speak.  Perhaps Pippin's fear of the darkness was catching in the sorrowful  quiet of the room.  With a quick jerk of his wrists, Frodo cast open the curtains, and light poured into the room like a sudden revelation, revealing all whether good or bad, plain or unusual.

Pippin lay on the bed, young body twisted about with the sheets, head half-under the pillow with only his face peeking out towards Frodo.  His eyes were red and swollen, wide and afraid.  The tears which still fell from them even now left traces of glistening moisture on his thick eyelashes, giving them a diamond-dusting.  His skin was pale, but twin points of red flushed over high cheekbones which were traced over by the lines of tears.  The young hobbit's lower lip trembled, and the tip of his pink tongue darted out quickly to lick away another tear.  Pippin surveyed Frodo, otherwise motionless but for the movement of his tongue and the rapid blinking of alarmed eyes.

Don't look at me.

Even in terror he was beautiful.  Just to see him made Frodo's heart ache fit to burst.  'Oh, beautiful, what has he done to you?'  Who "he" was they both knew: Pippin was, after all, in Meriadoc's room.  Frodo came forwards on careful feet, sitting down softly beside his younger cousin and reaching out one gentle finger to wipe away a falling tear.  'What happened?'

Frodo, help me…  Pippin made an odd sobbing sound, and then suddenly moved towards Frodo, sliding himself into the older hobbit's lap, chest to chest, his legs around Frodo's waist, his arms around Frodo's chest and his head on Frodo's shoulder with Frodo's brown curls tickling his nose.  'It wasn't…' Merry, Merry did nothing wrong, at least, I don't think he did, or maybe but I don't know -  his entire body convulsed in Frodo's arms as he made another mewling sound of pure misery.  Oh, please, don't go, hold me love me make me whole and make it all better…   'Me, it was me…'

Frodo made a wordless soothing sound, and twisted his head a little to kiss the back of Pippin's exposed neck while he moved his hands to Pippin's lower back and stroked there comfortingly.  Pippin's body in his arms was so child-like, so innocent and so vulnerable…  'What happened, pretty?  What went wrong?'  Suddenly, Merry's ill-humor that morning made all too much sense.

I found out that I love him.  And he doesn't love me, not any more, he did before I kissed him, but he said he loves me I mean he loved me but he didn't want my kisses.  Pippin shook his head a little against Frodo's shoulder, and as he exhaled his warm breath tickled the sensitive skin there.  'It doesn't matter,' he managed before choking on another tear which added to the growing wet patch on Frodo's shirt.  Half-heartedly he pushed away, unwrapping his limbs from Frodo's comforting form and moving back onto the bed.  He brushed over his face with the back of his hand, and managed a wobbly, teary smile.  'The door just closed after Merry left and the dark…' wasn't only physical it was in my mind too and 'my dreams…' are worse when he's not here…

Frodo didn't believe him for a second.  He was more perceptive than most hobbits and Pippin, with all the innocence of youth, wasn't the exactly best liar in the Shire.  He let it go; however, seeing as the teenager was so upset.  He ruffled Pippin's hair affectionately.  'Alright, Pip.  As long as it's only that, I'll leave you here – with the light' he smiled a little as he indicated the opened curtains – 'while you get dressed and I'll see you at breakfast.'

Pippin smiled again.  Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you for not asking.  He knew Frodo guessed he wasn't telling the truth, or at least all of it.  'Thank you, Frodo.  Love you.'  He embraced his cousin quickly, brushing his lips along his cheek in a kiss incredibly different from the one he had already bestowed that morning.

'I love you too, Pippin.'  And I will take care of you.  If only you'd tell me what had really happened…

As Frodo left to go and join the others in the kitchen, Pippin dried his tears and began to get dressed – and to prepare himself to face Merry.

***

--- I'm worried.  Pippin was more upset today than I have ever seen him.  And I know that it was Merry's fault.  Merry who slammed doors and spoke in clipped sentences this morning.  I want to help them both so much – especially Pippin.  It's so easy to care for him.  So easy to get lost in his wide, trusting eyes.  So easy to want to touch his face.  So easy to love him.  ---

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Please review!

OK, so it may not only be Merry/Pippin slash…