Outside Looking In

~by flourishes

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all related characters belong to J.K. Rowling, however much I wish they were mine. 

A/N "Outside Looking In" is the companion to "Filmstrips".  It is recommended that you read that first, as it's a bit heavier on the detail.  The second chapter of "Outside Looking In" encompasses events that occurred during the first chapter of "Filmstrips". 

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"Rest not! Life is sweeping by; go and dare before you die. Something mighty and sublime, leave behind to conquer time."
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832),

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Chapter Two

I thought back to this morning – a time that seemed so close yet at the same time so far away – was that the last time I would hear her voice, see her smile…

            I had been late waking up, as the curtains surrounding my four poster bed blocked out all of the May sunshine cascading in through the open windows.  I was jolted out of my sound sleep by the sounds of Seamus Finnigan singing a horribly off-key Irish ballad.  A carefully aimed pillow that hit him just on the side of his head did little to shut him up, if anything it just served as an excuse for him to increase his volume.

  I threw back the curtains surrounding Harry's four poster, and used my last remaining pillow to knock him out of his slumber.  We were late, we should have been downstairs in the common room ages ago, and Hermione would be waiting impatiently in the common room, no doubt with one long boned finger tapping the face of her absurd Muggle watch.

             Hermione's habits were so ingrained that her reactions were easy to predict.  She was, indeed, in the common room, tapping the face of her watch.  With a scowl that was slightly tinged with amusement, she scrambled out of the portrait hole, not waiting for us to follow.

 When Harry and I reached the Gryffindor Table, Hermione was already there, seats saved for us.  I immediately went for the sausage, ignoring Hermione's sound of disapproval.  I have a one track mind in the morning, and at the moment I was full speed ahead on food.  Beside me Harry was partaking of a generous amount of eggs, while Hermione was daintily cutting and chewing on pieces of her toast. 

Her brow was slightly furrowed in concentration, and I would have bet anyone a sickle that she was trying to remember whether or not she'd fed Crookshanks his "vitamin", a muggle capsule that she said the 'veteritrarion' or something of the sort had prescribed to keep him healthy.  As organized and compartmentalized as Hermione's normal routine is, she nonetheless always forgets to remember the 'vitamin.' I don't know why anyone would feed that to a cat, when I sampled it I gagged.  I can't imagine that Crookshanks would appreciate one every day.  Even though Hermione told me they weren't for human consumption I was a bit curious, and once my curiosity is piqued, I must follow up on my fact finding missions. 

Seamus had one too, Harry just laughed when I suggested that we taste them.  Ever since Seamus and I spent the night in the boys toilet with upset stomachs I've been replacing Crookshanks' vitamin with a sugar pill, I doubt Hermione will recognize the difference.  Crookshanks has shown exceptional friendliness to me as of late, and I choose to believe that he very much does appreciate a little sugar with his breakfast.

It was great that morning, because there was only one Professor in charge.  There was loud and raucous conversation, and the hall was ringing with the sounds of laughter.  The three of us were eating in silence; we do so habitually in the mornings unless one of us has some pressing need to divulge information that absolutely cannot wait to be shared. 

Fat lot of good Trelawney's Inner Eye was doing her when it came to keeping control over the breakfast crowd in the Great Hall. She was looking bewildered, and her shawl was drooping as she waved her arms in an attempt to get the attention of a few Ravenclaws who were engaging in a heated, loud disagreement.  Trelawney's efforts were to no avail, but the mere appearance of Snape in the doorway was enough to send the students diving into their breakfast meals.

 Snape? He usually eats his breakfast alone in his chambers, away from the students.  Snape appeared to be heading towards our table, and I decided to suddenly become very engrossed in my sausage. 

Neither Hermione nor Harry had noted Snape's imminent approach.  I saw Snape's shadow fall across the table, and sensed Hermione's startlement as she turned on the bench to face him.  Harry's head jerked upwards, and we exchanged quick glances before turning to hear what Snape had to say.

 "Potter, Weasley, acquaint yourselves with napkins and follow me.  Miss Granger, your presence is requested as well."

Napkins? What the hell was Snape going on about anyways?  I mean, unless there are napkins out there that serve purposes other than that of decorating tables and being convenient things to tie people down with, I don't think there's anyway to make friends with an inanimate object.  Harry looked just as confounded as I certainly was, and even Hermione looked slightly cowed.  Of course, though, Hermione's expression was due to the fact that Snape had called us out of breakfast along with all the other prefects. 

She'd probably understood exactly what Snape had meant.  I was going to ask her just what exactly the "napkins" were that Harry and I were supposed to acquaint ourselves with, figuring that they were some sort of little known exotic animal.  I'd just opened my mouth to start speaking when Hermione leaned over and whispered sideways,

"You've both got egg and sausage all over your faces, you pigs. That's what Snape meant by napkins, honestly." 

Oh. Well then.  Way to put a person in their place.  To my defense, I'm never at my sharpest in the early morning.  Alright there, okay.  So it was mid-morning and I'm always just a tad bit dense.  Harry's a bit thick too, so I took it upon myself to enlighten him with a quick jab to the ribs, courtesy of my elbow.

 By the time Snape had turned to glare at Harry's outburst, my elbow was in its place and I was demurely wiping flecks of sausage off my face.  Harry followed suit, wiping the egg from the ring around his mouth with one hand while massaging the spot on the chest where I'd jabbed him with the other. Honestly, it wasn't that hard of a nudge. 

I was so preoccupied with my napkin dilemma that I hadn't noticed we had reached our destination, which turned out to be Dumbledore's gargoyle.

 Snape was speaking again, but his first words were lost when Hermione hissed "crumbs" to Harry and he started nervously patting his hair and his chest, trying to make the former stay flat and the latter to miraculously shed all crumbs, but looking remarkably like a perplexed baboon while he was at it.  I turned to find Hermione doing the same, although she looked more like a rhesus monkey than a baboon.  I took the hint before concentrating on the rest of Snape's dry monologue.

"…situation at hand.  The headmaster wishes to speak with you and requires your utmost cooperation in this very serious matter.  No questions will be asked, you will merely follow the directions you will be given and be done with it.  I would assume without having to say that nothing that you hear here this morning leaves your mouth except that which you have been authorized to disclose."

Whoa.  This was definitely serious.  I turned off the comparisons of my classmates to various primates, having just pictured Crabbe as an orangutan, and followed Hermione up the moving stairs to Dumbledore's office.  There were a lot of people in that room, members of the "old crowd" and…

My dad and Percy? What in the world are they doing here…this is totally unexpected.  They're here, and Remus, and Sirius, and Mundungus Fletcher, and there's Mad-Eye Moody…their presence here, it can mean only one thing…

Voldemort must be planning an attack on Hogwarts.  Just as I was searching Hermione's face to see if she was coming to the same conclusions I was (And indeed, she was, judging from the fact that her normally rosy cheeks were the color of parchment) when Sirius's voice started to broadcast his question in loud tones.

 "Harry, alright there, are you? Have you been getting my owls?"

Harry started out of his momentary confusion and nodded while Sirius's eyes lingered on the lightning strike of Harry's scar, before turning to say hello to Hermione and I.  He clapped me and Harry on the backs and patted Hermione's shoulder.  With his departure we looked at each other and started discussing our speculations. 

Hermione was very pale, but her eyes were bright.  She didn't appear afraid, and I drew strength from her.  Hermione is one of those few people who radiate power when they are faced with adverse circumstances or even a particularly difficult magical task.  When she focuses all of her energy on a single thing, the sight is quite impressive to behold. 

Harry and Malfoy are the same way.  I know it isn't a conscious decision of theirs, to "radiate", per say, but sometime I wish, I wish that I had the same ability.

  McGonagall called us into an adjoining room that seemed to have materialized out of thin air.  I'd been in Dumbledore's office dozens of times, for punishment, crises, and Order business, and had never seen that one particular door.  I didn't remark upon it, but Harry's eyebrows were raised as we walked through what had once been a solid wall.

All the prefects were there, and Malfoy.  I never thought I'd see the day when I could look at a Malfoy and not see a sneering, malicious, snobbish, evil prick.  But…one Draco Malfoy is now my, ahem, ally.  It galled me to think that he might have turned, initially, although once I learned the circumstances under which his loyalties shifted, I had to accept his inclusion in the Order of the Phoenix.  He could, after all, bring valuable insight into the minds of the Death eaters.  Now Draco is, while not quite a friend, at least friendly with the three of us.

 And the most surprising thing about it is, I know I can trust him.  The offensive comments and snide remarks have ceased, and his pureblood mentality has for the most part subsided.  With the disappearance of his worse traits, I have found an almost palatable human being beneath the veneer of essential Malfoy-ness. 

We took our seats, Hermione to my right and Draco to my left.  McGonagall seemed to be under great strain as she assumed her position at the podium, but she spoke calmly, as if she was convincing herself not to panic

"You have been summoned here this morning because we have solid evidence that points to an imminent attack upon Hogwarts by followers of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.  As prefects, your responsibilities lie with securing the students in their towers and making sure they are safe.  When you return to the Great Hall you will lead your charges to their dormitories and seal the entrances.  Under no circumstances are students under the fourth year allowed out of the towers unless they are instructed to leave by a prefect, professor, or ministry official. This scenario is highly unlikely, however we must plan for all eventualities…

…  If the event does occur, the students are to exit the towers and make their way across the moors in pairs or threesomes.  This way they will be less likely to be detected than if they were in a large group. They are to keep walking until they feel they can no longer go on or as soon as they find shelter, provided the shelter is far from the castle.  They will be owled as soon as it is safe for them to return to the castle.  Food will also be provided by owl and they are to be assured that they will be recovered.  Again, this plan is only to be used as a contingency…

… What is expected is an attack designed to demonstrate to us that we are no longer safe anywhere.  It is not thought that Voldemort himself will be present during the attack, just his lackeys.  There is nothing we can do to stop this attack except fight it with all we can if Voldemort has indeed figured out how to breach Hogwarts' defenses…

…  Potter, since we know for fact that Voldemort is not going to be present it is thought that the deatheaters will attempt to kidnap you and take you to Voldemort's side. We are not going to allow this to happen, therefore, the Fidelius charm will be performed and you will be removed to a safe location. Granger, Weasley, you will stay here…

…  The deatheaters will expect that wherever you two are, Harry will be close by.  By staying where you are you will be helping to protect him more than if you were with him.  Malfoy, because of the likelihood that your father will be among those of the attackers, you are to accompany Mr. Potter to the safe location.  We do not want your father to be able to come into contact with you because if he did, you most likely wouldn't see the light of day again…

…  The rest of you are to return to your houses and inform the students of what is going on.  You are to give any student that is of the fifth year or above the opportunity to volunteer to guard the entrance to your tower and the corridors leading up to it…

… In the eventuality that the aurors that are forming the front line of defense are overrun those guarding the towers could possibly be thrust into a situation where they would have to duel a full-grown wizard proficient in the Dark Arts. This should be made clear to all volunteers…

…  All except Potter, Weasley, Granger, and Malfoy are excused.  As soon as you have taken care of your assignments you are to appoint someone to act in your stead as a prefect of your house and return here with all those who volunteer to patrol the corridors. Is that perfectly clear?

As the Prefects nodded and rose, the three of us and Malfoy were left alone with McGonagall and Sirius, who unbeknownst to me had been listening to McGonagall from the doorway.  Sirius was also watching us for our reactions – which were not in the least complementary.

  Harry's eyes were burning with anger and resentment, and Malfoy, well, his eyes were no more than narrow slits and I bet if I'd have poked him he would have shattered, he was so tense.  I myself couldn't believe that McGonagall would separate Hermione and me from Harry and even Draco – although I do admit that her plan had merit – I didn't like it at all.  Hermione was being logical, and even though she was furious, I could see the wheels turning in her head, pondering the plan. Sirius's voice broke the silence that had been gathering.

"You understand why we're doing this, don't you?" 

Harry started to speak, his voice full of what sounded like desperation.

"I may understand, but I still don't like it.  I should stay and fight.  Its my fault all these people are in danger, my fault that, well, everything is my fault, really, and you're telling me to go stick my head in the sand like an ostrich and ignore the danger that you and everyone else is going to be in and know that there is absolutely nothing I can do to help defend my school, my classmates, my friends, and myself.  Bloody hell, Sirius, when?  When am going to be allowed to face him again?  I've defeated him before, I can do it again.  It has to happen eventually, Sirius, you know.  Why not let me face him now instead of later instead of letting everyone continually suffer?"

I had some inkling of what Harry was feeling.  I know he had nightmares, - and bad ones too, because I could hear him tossing and turning at night, and at times crying out.  The anguish in those cries jerked me out of deep slumbers all the time – but there was never anything I could do but hold his shoulders down to keep him form hurting himself when they were at their worst.  Dumbledore's whispery voice answered Harry's query from the door, where he had been listening.

"This isn't the right moment, Harry, but all in good time, I assure you.  Now if we could perform the charms on you and Mr.Malfoy?"

I went to stand beside Harry, where it looked like Hermione was trying to squeeze the life out of him she was hugging him so tightly.  In spite of all that was going on a smile flitted across Harry's face as he released her.  I looked into his eyes clapped him on the shoulder, as Hermione shook Draco's hand.

  I don't know what he said to her, but it must have been unexpected, due to the look of consternation on her face.  Malfoy turned to me next, and shook my hand firmly before following Harry out the door. 

I sat in silence, digesting everything that I had just been told, and the fact that my best friend had just walked out of the room, only to return to Hogwarts when the threat to his life had diminished. 

McGonagall herded Hermione and I back into Dumbledore's office, which I privately thought had to have been enlarged to fit so many people at once.  When we rejoined the crowd, it was to discover that Bill had arrived, his ever present earring intact.

 When Dumbledore returned alone, I knew that the Fidelius charm had been performed, and Harry and Draco were gone.  My conversation with Bill was interrupted by a clatter on the stairs – it appeared as if the Prefects had arrived with their volunteers and – what?

Ginny? There is no mistaking the fact that she's here, because of her hair, but why?  She could be safe, should be safe back in the Tower, what does she think she's doing? My baby sister…she shouldn't have to face one of Voldemort's henchmen...

I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I hadn't noticed McGonagall was motioning us back into the meeting room.  I resolve to wait until after McGonagall was done talking to the Prefects to tell Ginny to go back to the Tower…

No, I won't tell her.  I'll suggest it.  That way she won't think that I 'm ordering her to go back, yes, that's a good strategy…very good, in fact…wonder why I haven't hit upon this route before, make her think she can stay and then she won't want to, the brilliance of it all..

My thoughts were interrupted by the words

            "If the towers are breached, they'll go after Muggleborns first; we especially don't want that to happen…"

I had been so engrossed in my plan to get Ginny out of the way of danger – at least as far as I could get her- that I had missed the fact that Remus had started to give us detailed instructions – I had just followed Hermione to the corner we had been after McGonagall had concluded her speech…

Hermione.  Wait, Hermione is muggleborn.  Oh gods, they'll go after her first.  She's a member of the Order of the Phoenix, Head Girl of Hogwarts, at the top of our year, and to add insult to injury, Muggleborn…oh no. 

I could see that Hermione was coming to the same deduction herself, and I squeezed her hand, hoping to reassure her.  I would do anything in my power to keep her safe – and I hoped she knew that.  Hermione squeezed back, and we returned our attention to what Lupin was saying, only to find that we had been separated yet again. 

Hermione was paired with Neville, and I with Lavender.  The logic behind Dumbledore's separation strategy was sound; I didn't like being separated from Hermione any more than I liked being separated from Harry.  At least we were still both in the Great Hall, although Hermione was on the opposite side, but she would remain in my sight – which is more than I could say for Harry. 

I didn't say goodbye to Hermione.  I couldn't, not really.  It would have been too hard. She probably didn't notice, we were all so focused on the tasks at hand.  I only realized later. 

When it was too late.

  Even though I didn't say goodbye, I did say be careful.  I said it softly, as she disappeared around the corner behind Neville.  She didn't hear me, or the unspoken words that followed.

Be careful…because I couldn't bear to loose you…

Lavender had been watching Neville and Hermione disappear towards Gryffindor Tower, and she spoke, her voice soft, yet anguished at the same time.

"Maybe we should go, find our p..positions, erm, our places…and um, get ready…"

Lavender's voice trailed off in a half choked sob.  I tried to reassure her, calm her.

"Lavender, its okay, c'mon, don't cry.  They won't get very far, Lavender, shhh, don't worry."

And with my hollow words of reassurance, we turned down the hallway and made our way towards the Great Hall.

There were several entrances to the Great Hall, and Lavender and I were stationed at the one that lead to Ravenclaw's Dormitory, at least, where I thought it was located.  Lavender composed herself while I watched the proceedings taking place in the entrance hall – and kept my eyes on Hermione. 

She showed no outward signs of fear; or apprehension, or anything at all.  She was the perfect picture of composure, and a pillar of strength.  The sight of her was calming to me somehow, I don't know why.

            It felt like we had been waiting so long – Lavender's whimpers had almost subsided – but it had only been around fifteen minutes since Lavender and I had arrived in the Great Hall.  A sudden ruckus occurred in the entrance hall, and Lavender and I were told what that the death eaters had managed to apparate inside of Hogwarts grounds.  I didn't know how or why, but once one of Hogwarts' defenses goes down, it doesn't go back up. 

The results of this were twofold.  One good, one bad.  Since the apparition barrier was down, it meant that more death eaters could arrive, but it also meant that aurors and ministry officials could apparate too – which was a major advantage for us.

            The sounds grew louder, coming ever closer to the double doors that were the only things separating us from what was shaping up to be a fearsome fight.  I met Hermione's eyes across the hall – and I knew that she would fight to the death if necessary.  Harry had the same utter dedication – the glint I had often seen in his eyes as he prepared to do battle was now shining in Hermione's.  I couldn't tear my eyes away from her, but I had to, in the end.  The doors crashed open with an agonizing bang and a chilling message, delivered in the form of a ministry official.

"Get ready, get ready, get ready…they're coming…to get you…"

            Aurors immediately apparated into the Hall from other points in the castle.  I ducked into the shelter of my doorway, and yelled at Lavender.

            "Run, Lavender, warn the Ravenclaws – Hurry!"

She took off around the corner, quick on her feet.

…Lavender will be fine – she's a Gryffindor after all…don't worry, concentrate…oh Lord, there's a death eater, several… Ron, get a grip man, you've faced worse…

But every time there are still those feelings of self doubt.  Hermione, Harry – they're so confident, so sure, and I well, I am… I don't know what I am exactly, but I know what I am not.  Sure, I'm head boy, but Draco or Harry would've gotten it, except for their work with the order. 

I was the third best choice, which seems to happen so often in my life.  Youngest of six brothers – last boy to do everything, and then, when I got to Hogwarts, best friend of the Boy Hero and the Girl Genius.  Its not that I begrudge them their status – for all of Harry's fame there is so much more pain, and with all of Hermione's brilliance there is the fact that she grew up alone among her Muggle peers, isolated because of her differences.  I just wish, somehow, that I could share in a little of the glory, instead of just being…

"Oh, Ron, the youngest Weasley boy," or "Ron Weasley, isn't he best friends with", or "wasn't his brother Quidditch captain",

… or so many other mindless euphemisms. I want, want so badly to be my own person, referred to by my own accomplishments, not that of others.  It seems I am always on the outside, looking in at the accomplishments of others, without ever having done anything myself.  I've learned to mask my feelings. 

On the outside everyone sees a self-less, dedicated student who worships his best friends and loves his family.  They see a good Quidditch chaser, a kind boy, one who fights for what he believes in.    

Only I know that that isn't the truth.  And I'm ashamed of the way I feel.  I've tried to stop feeling, to bury myself in my studies and my friendships.  I have almost succeeded in fooling myself into thinking that I am the person that everyone sees. 

And then, just when I need concentration the most, the old feelings sneak around the defenses I have built.  Like now. 

I glanced over to Hermione, and she was looking at her blasted watch.  Who but Hermione would bother to check the time as death eaters swarmed the school grounds?

            With that hysterical thought in mind, I tore my eyes from the sight of Hermione and looked around – and she was gone.  I thought she was safe and …

I am kneeling, gingerly brushing bits of stone from Hermione's arm, hoping against all hope that she is alive.  Ginny is running down the corridor, the slap of her feet on stones echoing harshly against the vaulted ceiling. 

Slap. Slap. Slap.

To the rhythm I move the crumbled stones from Hermione's crumpled form.  It looks as if a pillar has caught her squarely over the shoulder – pinning her to the ground.  It is a blow that would have killed a mere mortal. But Hermione, she is not a mere mortal.  She is mortal, yes, but she is also magical – a combination that affords her more protection from calamitous events.  

Even so, as I brushed the dust from her slacken cheeks, I could barely feel the whisper of exhaled breath on my palms.  I dared not use magic to remove her from the mass of stones, a sudden spike of energy might be too much for her weakened state. 

Finally I move the largest chunk of stone, and Hermione is free. She still hasn't stirred, hasn't made sound.  I cradle her in my arms, checking carefully for broken bones.  There are none, only a series of small cuts that have left streaks of blood running through the dust that covers her and the rips and tears of her robes.

I smooth the locks of hair that are falling over her brow, whisper nonsense words to her.  I pray – hoping somewhere, someone will hear my plea and restore Hermione to her former self.

As I murmur, stroking her hair, cradling her in my arms, in the distance I can hear footsteps approaching.  The sound echoes in my skull.  I fear that they may be too late. 

Hermione's breaths are so shallow that her chest I barely moving, and she struggles for breath.  I don't realize that Ginny has returned, panting from exertion, accompanied by a blood stained Madam Pomfrey and a ragged looking McGonagall.  McGonagall's hands are covering her mouth in shock.  Madam Pomfrey is kneeling beside me, a question on her lips.

"What happened…there are no spells that can …do this, she didn't respond to Ennervate…"

I answered, gesturing towards the crumbled pillar.

" I think the pillar fell on her shoulder…it must have been hit by a powerful  spell, and she couldn't get out of the way fast enough…is she going to be all right?:

Madam Pomfrey checked Hermione again for broken bones, finding none, as I had.  She cupped Hermione's head in her hands, a golden glow emanating from her palms.  She moved to her shoulder, the light pulsing.  I had never seen Madam Pomfrey use her healing powers in this way, and apparently neither had McGonagall, as she was just as transfixed as I.

Madam Pomfrey lowered Hermione back into my arms carefully, and started to speak softly, almost regretfully.

"I've done all within my power to do.  Miss Granger appears to have sustained a head injury, one that could render her unconscious or in a coma for an extended length of time, or…she may never wake.  Time will tell, but now, she needs to be moved to the hospital wing"

As Madam Pomfrey's words died down into silence I stood as if I were a statue made of marble, a dull roaring sounding in my ears.

…She might never wake up…

A/N ~ Apologies are in order.  I feel that this chapter is a bit disjointed, given that it was written during time snatched between and during classes that I really can't afford not to pay attention to…umm yeah, that would be algebra.  As I'm writing this my Spanish teacher is sitting on a chair on top of his desk banging on a congo drum while India.Arie plays in the background.  And this is during class, mind you.  So I apologize profusely. 

I'm also experimenting with Italics and breaks in the text, but Word isn't cooperating so it may be a little bit messed up.  And I broke my paragraphs up to make it easier to read.  Currently I have started the second chapter of Filmstrips, I have about two tablet sized pages written, and I'll try to scribble faster in order to get it posted as soon as humanely possible.  The chapter will be a flashback, does everybody like that? Please let me know.

Gratitude and Other Remarks

First and Foremost ~ A great big whopping THANK YOU!!!! To all reviewers.  I never realized how wonderfully delicious it is to open up my mailbox and see them ~ its intensely gratifying and makes me want to write more and more, of course, my sister now thinks I'm totally insane instead of half way gone because I was dancing around the basement singing "I've got reviews!!!" Anyways, thanks so much.

Specific Replies

Straycat ~ I'm really terribly sorry for leaving you hanging like that on both stories, but the art of the cliffhanger…it's a wonderful literary device…I'm sorry, sorry, sorry.  But I can't help myself.

Trina K. ~ she's not dead…yet…and did you see the paragraphs?? Are they better? Hopefully.

The Mauvelus Jacklope ~ wonderful beta reader that you are, your vocabulary of yay! Is quite refreshing, also the many exclamation points! ! ! ! ! ! ! are quite enjoyable.  Thanks much for beta-ing, you're right, you rock, you and eleclyn, both. For laziness issues, you will be now be addressed as Mauvvie.  hehehehe

Eleclyn Starmaker ~ you will forthwith be none as ellie because your full appellation

 (vocab word, cough, vocab word) is way too difficult to type, and I'm lazy.  And I'm sure Mrs. Moyer would enjoy, although she's never read the Harry Potter books.  A travesty, that, for an English teacher.  Thank you for your praise on characterization, I really thought it was a bit off, but hey, if you like it then it must be good.  Ellie, as mentioned above, you rock.