Just a Phrase
By Lauren
Disclaimer: Nothing's mine. Don't sue.
Warning: Femslash, Deb/Gina. Hot girl-on-girl action! …except, there's not that much action. And it's more sweet than hot. Whatever. If you don't like it, don't read it.
***
Whoever said 'The more things change, the more they stay the same' was full of bullshit. The store has changed, nothing's the same, and Deb ends up with stupid phrases in her head that make her want to scream.
She kicks the counter instead. It hurts.
Gina looks up and blinks. "Are you okay?"
Pain is shooting through Deb's foot; she glares at the counter. "I'm fine."
Deb and Gina are standing at the register together, and the pain is fading when Gina says, "You're letting your hair grow back." It's a statement, not a question, and Deb runs a hand through her soft new hair and nods. "It looks good," Gina says, and Deb frowns and tries to remember a time when there was conflict between the two of them. The tension seemed to leave when everybody else did. Everybody else moved on, and Gina and Deb were left behind, all that was left of how it used to be. They can't afford to hate each other anymore, and 'misery loves company' is another one of those stupid phrases in Deb's head. It's a sad thought.
It takes Deb a while to notice that Gina and her are the only ones left; because it happens slowly, people drifting away one by one. Corey and AJ were the first to go, obviously, off to Boston to learn and be in love. Next was Lucas, who decided to go back to school, business school. He claimed he was going to be a superb manager someday, just like Joe. Mark, surprisingly, met a girl. They moved to the other end of the city, and Mark switched to a different job because she convinced him the commute was too much. Deb said 'whipped', Mark said 'in love'. Lastly was Burko, who left when his band took off and he ended up touring small towns all over the state. Gina didn't go with him.
They all left slowly, until one day Deb looks around and realizes the store is quiet. And empty.
Well, not really empty, of course. Joe's still here, because he bought the place, and Warren still works here. Although, his definition of 'work' is annoying people and stealing CDs, which makes Joe sigh and take more deductions from his paycheck until his final check only works out to a couple of dollars. And Eddie stops by once in a while, looking lost without Mark, and drops off pizza and brownies. Deb and Gina eat the pizza while it's still hot, and let the brownies stockpile in the staff fridge.
Work has a different atmosphere then it used to; there's less dancing, less craziness. Less energy. Deb feels lonely, even when the store if full of people milling through the isles.
Gina notices too. "It's quiet here, huh? I miss everybody."
Deb thinks 'you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone', but says, "yeah, I miss them too."
For a while they try, try and make it like is used to be. They listen to Gwar loudly in memory of Mark, and attempt at explaining the power of the veto to the new workers. They paint murals on the walls for AJ, and make their coffee way too sweet like Corey used to.
It doesn't work, though, and Warren notices what they're trying to do. "It's not going to happen, you guys," he tells them, kicking at the case of Rex Manning CDs he's supposed to be unpacking. "Things are different now."
Gina frowns petulantly at him and hits the play button on the CD player. Saddam a Go-Go by Gwar starts up again. Deb nods in agreement at Gina's unspoken, but clear opinion. Warren just shrugs.
***
Deb comes into work one Thursday, and her first thought is that nobody is working the counter. But no, she peers over the edge and Gina is on the floor, huddled by a stack of freebie magazines, crying. Deb comes around the counter and crouches down next to Gina, concerned.
When Deb reaches out and hesitantly touches Gina's knee, Gina starts talking, her voice breaking. "Remember that time when Mark sold everything at a discount because he thought we were having a sale? And Joe got really mad and threatened to fire him, and AJ and Lucas made 'Save the Mark' signs and refused to get off the couch until Mark came back? I miss that. I miss them." She sniffles pathetically and looks up a Deb with teary eyes, and Deb grabs her hand and hauls her to her feet.
She leads Gina into the back room and pours her a cup of coffee, simply because it's warm and warm stuff is always soothing, and Deb doesn't know what else to do.
She wants to comfort Gina, but a part of her also wants to be comforted, to lean into Gina and cry too, and to have AJ and Corey and Mark and Lucas come back and make everything better again because things just aren't right without them.
Deb knows that they're not the only ones in the store, but she feels alone anyway, and the Empire feels lonely, and empty. And she knows that Gina feels the same way, because she doesn't argue when Deb pulls them both down on the couch. Gina curls up in Deb's arms naturally, her head on Deb's shoulder, hair trickling over her collar bone, one hand clutching at the hem of Deb's shirt.
They stay like that for over an hour, talking. Their sentences are mostly ones that begin with 'remember the time that…' or 'hey, what about…' but when the rush of words and memories finally trickles to a stop, they both feel much better, because warm words work just as well as warm coffee.
Gina readjusts herself, shifting so that her head is resting on the back of the couch next to Deb's and her legs are sprawled across Deb's lap. "It's weird, you know. We've known each other for what, three years now? And I've said the most to you in the past hour than all of those three years combined."
Deb nods thoughtfully in agreement. She considers telling Gina her 'misery loves company' theory, but then realizes that it would be pointless. The others are gone, there's no changing that now. And in the situation they're in now, with Gina's fingers gently tickling Deb's scalp and short, soft hair, it seems like a better idea to just enjoy the company and fuck the misery part.
That makes Deb laugh softly, it seems like such an out-of-character thing for her to think. She wonders if maybe she's becoming more philosophical in place of Lucas. Gina raises an eyebrow at her laughter, and Deb explains, "Fuck the misery," seriously, and Gina agrees, "and damn the man," just like Deb knew she would.
They laugh together, then, giddily, the kind of laughing you do even when nothing's funny, out of exhaustion, because if you don't laugh you'll cry and you're tired of crying.
They lean against each other and giggle, and Gina still has her fingers tangled in Deb's hair, and she's soft and warm where their arms are pressed together. Deb decides that this is an opportunity, the kind she never would've had if things had stayed the way they were. 'Carpe diem' she thinks, and leans in and presses her lips to Gina's.
There is a moment of faltering, from both of them, a moment of 'this is new, what should I be doing, here?' before Gina kisses back, and Deb thinks that seizing had been the right thing to do.
The kiss grows deeper, and Gina shifts on the couch, trying to get her knees out of the way, and finally gives up and stops moving when Deb runs her tongue over Gina's bottom lip.
When they break apart for air, they meet each other's eyes slightly awkwardly, until Gina smiles. "Kissing a girl? You always were the rebel."
And Deb raises and eyebrow. This kind of banter is familiar, and reminiscent of days past. "And you always were the slut," she counters, smirking so that Gina knows it's a friendly dig. Gina's eyes narrow, and in old times that usually led to cutting wit or pop icon references. However, this time Gina merely presses her lips firmly to Deb's, and Deb decides that sometimes, new ways are better than old.
Returning the kiss, a saying flits through her mind: 'Sometimes the wind from one door closing is enough to open another', and as dumb as it sounds, Deb has to agree.
-fin-
