The Trouble with Scribes
Marques was in our rooms almost every day for the next three weeks. He would smile, and fawn, and smile, and scribble something down, and smile, and sympathize, and smile again. I often complained about him, how he was always here, and we never got to be alone, but Kel would defend the little bootlicker shamelessly.
"Dom, Marques is the best scribe I've ever had. He's faithful, cheerful, intelligent, kind...." She would go on until I threw up my hands in defeat and stalked off. Oh, yeah, Marques was considerate, Marques was a gentleman, Marques was an optimist. Marques was a chump.
It wouldn't have been so bad if I had Kel to myself afterwards, but she was always 'too tired', or said 'not tonight, Dom', 'wasn't I tired too?'. Of course, I was never too tired for Kel. It was physically impossible. She would just sigh and roll over, leaving me to lie awake in frustration. It was all that scribe's fault. I came very close to smashing a vase over his head once. I had it in my hands and it was poised above him, I was just about to bring it down when Kel walked into the room. She froze in the doorway. "Hmm," I said, squinting at the vase, "Marques, would you look at the delicate painting on this vase, and the molding is incredible!" Marques agreed that it was very nice, but Kel frowned and said she'd seen better. Later she whispered to me that she knew what I'd been doing, and I replied that I had no idea what she was talking about. It really was a very nice vase. It would have looked even nicer jammed onto Marques' golden head.
________________________________________________________________________
I peaked out from behind the door and looked all around the room. Finding no one there, I moved on to the next one. No one. I checked all our rooms and found no trace of a blond scribe anywhere. Delighted, I hurried to the study where Kel was writing a letter to her sister, Adalia.
"Kel,"
"Mmm?" Her lips were pursed. We'd just had an argument about you-know-who earlier and she was still cross with me. I decided to go for a different approach this time.
"Kel, I'm sorry."
Her eyebrows raised. I'd caught her off guard.
I knelt down and swung her chair to face me. Kel had her Yamani mask on. "I'm sorry for being such a jerk about Marques. I just want things to be the way they used to be." I kissed her hand tenderly. "Please forgive me, Kel?"
Her face softened and she smiled crookedly. "I'm sorry too. For being so stiff."
"I want to make it up to you." This is where my brilliant plan kicks in!
Kel's eyebrows raised again. This time there was interest in her eyes. She knew what I was suggesting. "How?"
I kissed her palm and rubbed her wrist with my thumb, smiling seductively. "Let me show you..." I stood and tugged her up from the chair. Gathering her in my arms, I kissed her passionately. Thoughts and feelings were all jumbled in my head. Oh Kel! I'd missed the taste of her. My plan worked at last! I am a genius. I should be given an award.
My shirt dropped to the floor and Kel fumbled with my belt buckle. I was happily considering the desk, or maybe that arm chair, or maybe the rug in front of the fire, when I heard the telltale creak of our front door. My first thought was that I had neglected to get someone to oil it. My second thought was that someone was entering our rooms and my wife was standing here half naked. I broke away from Kel, who had been so wrapped up in loving caresses that she hadn't heard the door open. She looked at me questioningly, even angrily; apparently I'd ruined the mood. Personally, I felt like I was going to cry. My wonderful plan had gone to waste. I'd never get Kel alone again. I felt so deprived. Mournfully I picked up her breastband and shirt and pulled them on her more quickly than she could have done herself. I know what you're thinking. Yes, I am very experienced.
All this was the work of an instant. By the time the intruder came into the room, I was leaning casually against the fireplace, my shirt back on, and Kel was writing her letter. The moment I saw who it was, I shot a meaningful glance at Kel. Her 'faithful' scribe had come in to retrieve his quills. I was certain he'd left them here on purpose.
"Why do you need your quills, Marques?" I asked innocently.
"I need to write a letter to my family. My mother isn't doing very well in old age. I'm ever so worried about her." 'He's ever so worried about her!'. Oh, he was smooth. Too smooth. He had to trip up sometime. All I had to do was stick out my foot.
"Really? Don't you keep quills with you to write letters, if your dear mother is in such a state?" I tried to keep the sarcasm out of my voice.
"No, I left them all here. Silly me. I'm so forgetful. I don't know why you put up with me, Kel." I clenched my fists.
Kel blushed. BLUSHED! "Now, Marques, you're only human. Everyone makes mistakes."
I glared at the blond, but it was like glaring at a blind man: he didn't notice. "Well, maybe you could keep some quills with you in the future, so you won't have to come all the way up here to get them."
"That's a good idea. Thank you for the suggestion, Dom. May I call you Dom?"
NO, YOU BLOODY –
Kel smiled warmly. "Of course you can, Marques, Dom doesn't mind."
YES!!! DOM DOES MIND!!! THROW THE LITTLE SWINE OUT ON HIS ASS!!!!!!!!
"Thank you. I'll make sure that I remain worthy of the priviledge."
Mithros! This guy was such a brown-noser! I think the grinding of my teeth was audible by now, but neither of them seemed to notice.
"I'll see you tomorrow, Marques!" Kel said cheerfully as she followed the blond to the door.
"Oh yes!" I cried, "See you tomorrow!" I waved enthusiastically.
Kel put her back against the closed door and folded her arms across her chest. Nothing good could come of this. "Why do you have to be so rude to him all the time? What has he ever done to you? All he's ever wanted was to be your friend."
"Kel!" I said in disbelief. "What has he ever done to ME? He wants to be my FRIEND? How can you be so blind? He's obviously putting the moves on you! On MY WIFE!"
Kel let out a humourless laugh. "Dom, you're being such an idiot. Marques has never expressed anything but friendship toward me. And you, for that matter!"
"He's so fake! I bet he's never said an honest thing to you since you met him!"
"Dom! He's not like that!"
"And it doesn't help, the way you blush, and smile! Everything is about him!"
"Dom! Calm down!"
"'I don't know why you put up with me Kel!', 'I'm so forgetful!'" I let sarcasm flow through my voice. Kel was angrier than I'd ever seen her, but I was angry too. I was angry that she refused to see the truth, angry that a scribe was getting the better of me, and angry for not taking better care of my marriage and being home more often. If I hadn't been away, maybe none of this would have happened and there wouldn't be this unsurpassable void between us. "Kel, can't you see that he's trying to break us apart!"
"Well you're doing a pretty good job of it by yourself!" There were tears in her eyes, streaming down her cheeks. I tried to dry them with my fingers but she pushed me away and ran past me into the bedroom, shutting the door with a slam. I leaned heavily against the wall and slid to the floor, listening to the muffled sobs from the next room. I'd ruined everything.
The door flew open behind me and my cousin Neal burst in carrying a large tray. "Who wants cupcakes?" he cried. Then he saw me on the floor and heard Kel crying. "Oh, did I come at a bad time?"
Coming up: A TALK WITH NEAL!
Thank you to Rowana Silvakisma, Valencia22, brightnight, Dragonlass11, emerlus, sw33t t3mptations, escawing, jazy716, Goddess Of The Moon, Eccie87, Erilyn05, and JMJ for the reviews. It's always encouraging to hear good things about your writing.
Marques was in our rooms almost every day for the next three weeks. He would smile, and fawn, and smile, and scribble something down, and smile, and sympathize, and smile again. I often complained about him, how he was always here, and we never got to be alone, but Kel would defend the little bootlicker shamelessly.
"Dom, Marques is the best scribe I've ever had. He's faithful, cheerful, intelligent, kind...." She would go on until I threw up my hands in defeat and stalked off. Oh, yeah, Marques was considerate, Marques was a gentleman, Marques was an optimist. Marques was a chump.
It wouldn't have been so bad if I had Kel to myself afterwards, but she was always 'too tired', or said 'not tonight, Dom', 'wasn't I tired too?'. Of course, I was never too tired for Kel. It was physically impossible. She would just sigh and roll over, leaving me to lie awake in frustration. It was all that scribe's fault. I came very close to smashing a vase over his head once. I had it in my hands and it was poised above him, I was just about to bring it down when Kel walked into the room. She froze in the doorway. "Hmm," I said, squinting at the vase, "Marques, would you look at the delicate painting on this vase, and the molding is incredible!" Marques agreed that it was very nice, but Kel frowned and said she'd seen better. Later she whispered to me that she knew what I'd been doing, and I replied that I had no idea what she was talking about. It really was a very nice vase. It would have looked even nicer jammed onto Marques' golden head.
________________________________________________________________________
I peaked out from behind the door and looked all around the room. Finding no one there, I moved on to the next one. No one. I checked all our rooms and found no trace of a blond scribe anywhere. Delighted, I hurried to the study where Kel was writing a letter to her sister, Adalia.
"Kel,"
"Mmm?" Her lips were pursed. We'd just had an argument about you-know-who earlier and she was still cross with me. I decided to go for a different approach this time.
"Kel, I'm sorry."
Her eyebrows raised. I'd caught her off guard.
I knelt down and swung her chair to face me. Kel had her Yamani mask on. "I'm sorry for being such a jerk about Marques. I just want things to be the way they used to be." I kissed her hand tenderly. "Please forgive me, Kel?"
Her face softened and she smiled crookedly. "I'm sorry too. For being so stiff."
"I want to make it up to you." This is where my brilliant plan kicks in!
Kel's eyebrows raised again. This time there was interest in her eyes. She knew what I was suggesting. "How?"
I kissed her palm and rubbed her wrist with my thumb, smiling seductively. "Let me show you..." I stood and tugged her up from the chair. Gathering her in my arms, I kissed her passionately. Thoughts and feelings were all jumbled in my head. Oh Kel! I'd missed the taste of her. My plan worked at last! I am a genius. I should be given an award.
My shirt dropped to the floor and Kel fumbled with my belt buckle. I was happily considering the desk, or maybe that arm chair, or maybe the rug in front of the fire, when I heard the telltale creak of our front door. My first thought was that I had neglected to get someone to oil it. My second thought was that someone was entering our rooms and my wife was standing here half naked. I broke away from Kel, who had been so wrapped up in loving caresses that she hadn't heard the door open. She looked at me questioningly, even angrily; apparently I'd ruined the mood. Personally, I felt like I was going to cry. My wonderful plan had gone to waste. I'd never get Kel alone again. I felt so deprived. Mournfully I picked up her breastband and shirt and pulled them on her more quickly than she could have done herself. I know what you're thinking. Yes, I am very experienced.
All this was the work of an instant. By the time the intruder came into the room, I was leaning casually against the fireplace, my shirt back on, and Kel was writing her letter. The moment I saw who it was, I shot a meaningful glance at Kel. Her 'faithful' scribe had come in to retrieve his quills. I was certain he'd left them here on purpose.
"Why do you need your quills, Marques?" I asked innocently.
"I need to write a letter to my family. My mother isn't doing very well in old age. I'm ever so worried about her." 'He's ever so worried about her!'. Oh, he was smooth. Too smooth. He had to trip up sometime. All I had to do was stick out my foot.
"Really? Don't you keep quills with you to write letters, if your dear mother is in such a state?" I tried to keep the sarcasm out of my voice.
"No, I left them all here. Silly me. I'm so forgetful. I don't know why you put up with me, Kel." I clenched my fists.
Kel blushed. BLUSHED! "Now, Marques, you're only human. Everyone makes mistakes."
I glared at the blond, but it was like glaring at a blind man: he didn't notice. "Well, maybe you could keep some quills with you in the future, so you won't have to come all the way up here to get them."
"That's a good idea. Thank you for the suggestion, Dom. May I call you Dom?"
NO, YOU BLOODY –
Kel smiled warmly. "Of course you can, Marques, Dom doesn't mind."
YES!!! DOM DOES MIND!!! THROW THE LITTLE SWINE OUT ON HIS ASS!!!!!!!!
"Thank you. I'll make sure that I remain worthy of the priviledge."
Mithros! This guy was such a brown-noser! I think the grinding of my teeth was audible by now, but neither of them seemed to notice.
"I'll see you tomorrow, Marques!" Kel said cheerfully as she followed the blond to the door.
"Oh yes!" I cried, "See you tomorrow!" I waved enthusiastically.
Kel put her back against the closed door and folded her arms across her chest. Nothing good could come of this. "Why do you have to be so rude to him all the time? What has he ever done to you? All he's ever wanted was to be your friend."
"Kel!" I said in disbelief. "What has he ever done to ME? He wants to be my FRIEND? How can you be so blind? He's obviously putting the moves on you! On MY WIFE!"
Kel let out a humourless laugh. "Dom, you're being such an idiot. Marques has never expressed anything but friendship toward me. And you, for that matter!"
"He's so fake! I bet he's never said an honest thing to you since you met him!"
"Dom! He's not like that!"
"And it doesn't help, the way you blush, and smile! Everything is about him!"
"Dom! Calm down!"
"'I don't know why you put up with me Kel!', 'I'm so forgetful!'" I let sarcasm flow through my voice. Kel was angrier than I'd ever seen her, but I was angry too. I was angry that she refused to see the truth, angry that a scribe was getting the better of me, and angry for not taking better care of my marriage and being home more often. If I hadn't been away, maybe none of this would have happened and there wouldn't be this unsurpassable void between us. "Kel, can't you see that he's trying to break us apart!"
"Well you're doing a pretty good job of it by yourself!" There were tears in her eyes, streaming down her cheeks. I tried to dry them with my fingers but she pushed me away and ran past me into the bedroom, shutting the door with a slam. I leaned heavily against the wall and slid to the floor, listening to the muffled sobs from the next room. I'd ruined everything.
The door flew open behind me and my cousin Neal burst in carrying a large tray. "Who wants cupcakes?" he cried. Then he saw me on the floor and heard Kel crying. "Oh, did I come at a bad time?"
Coming up: A TALK WITH NEAL!
Thank you to Rowana Silvakisma, Valencia22, brightnight, Dragonlass11, emerlus, sw33t t3mptations, escawing, jazy716, Goddess Of The Moon, Eccie87, Erilyn05, and JMJ for the reviews. It's always encouraging to hear good things about your writing.
