I saw the Slayer kissing Santa Claus Disclaimer: The movie The Santa Claus and BTVS don't belong to me. So please don't sue me or hold me legally responsible for anything, but the story itself.

Onward: Spike gets a visit from Santa and HO HO HO do we know what's coming next. AU and 5th season before Captain Cardboard leaves.

Words from the Author: This is a humorous story. I may upset fans when they realize that I think Dawn is manipulative bitch and Spike although he tries to hide it, is a good guy at the heart and would make a funny Santa Claus. This idea was cooked up by myself and Scott and Julia while standing in the lunch line one day during Senior year, b/c we didn't have enough money or cars to go out. Thanks for the great idea guys!! Read and then call me. For the rest of you, you'll just have to e-mail me or submit reviews. Thanks for all the reviews so far. Enjoy!!

Continuing the story Spike was a few feet from his crypt when he stopped. He sniffed the air similar to a dog. "Who's there?" He growled. "It's just me." Dawn called out to the nightly dressed vampire. She came out of the bushes. "I could have attacked you and then I would have had a massive headache and then your sister would turn me into a big pile of dust. What are you doin' out o' bed at this hour o' the night?" Dawn's smile curved into a sly grin.
"I snuck out b/c I wanted to give you your Christmas present. Besides it's the holidays, Buffy won't stake you now. She'll wait till after New Year's."
"Oh thanks." Dawn handed him a small neatly wrapped gift with black ribbons on the top. Spike grabbed it out of her hands and tore it open. It was a packet of blood. Spike smiled and bit into it. The taste was so refreshing and yummy. He looked up at her confused; this didn't taste like pig's blood. He gave a questioning look.
"I went to a blood drive and stole some blood, please don't be mad. I thought you deserved some real blood for a change."
"Thanks litt' bit. Hold on a second," he looked at the bag and it said 'Summers, D' "you didn't tell me that it was yours," he shouted at her as he grabbed her arm when she tried to pull away.
"Spike, it's Christmas. When are you going to get a fresh taste? You haven't gotten that chip out and you barely live on pig's blood. It's a treat so appreciate it," she stated in such a commanding tone that Spike knew not to test the Slayer's kid sister.
"Tell your sister and I'll deny it," Dawn silently zipped her lips. "She'll probably stake me anyway." Spike made his way to his crypt when he heard a noise. He looked up at the top of the crypt. He saw guy in a red suit.
"Hey! What do you think you're doin' on top o' my crypt," Spike shouted, but the shouting ended startling the guy as he lost his balance and fell off the crypt and landed right in front of Spike.
"What did you do that for?" Dawn demanded as she punched Spike lightly in the arm.
"Oh come on now like I'd hurt this bloke. Who is he anyway? Is he a demon?" Spike asked. The red guy was slowly coming to his senses, but before Dawn could warn Spike not to test 'is he a demon' on him. Spike punched him square in the jaw and knocked out the guy. Spike screamed with pain.
"I tried to warn you before you hit him that he was coming to and we could have just asked. He looks like Santa Claus."
"Who?"
"Santa Claus. You know HO HO HO; he delivers presents to good girls and boys. Spirit of Christmas, the non religious type."
"Oh, yeah. So this is Saint Nick. What do we do with him now?" Dawn shrugged her shoulders and then an idea hit her. She snapped her fingers with a defiant "Ah ha." Spike looked up at her for an explanation.
"Since this Santa is unconscious we could deliver the toys and then return the reindeer to the North Pole where Santa lives and then we can come home in time for presents to be opened. It'd be an adventure." Dawn wide-eyed and dreamy.
"Why should I help this bugger deliver his toys? I'm evil, I don't do goody goody."
"Well you did knock him unconscious, and I'd make near to impossible for Buffy to stake you. I'd tell her it was all my idea." Spike snorted.
"You'd tell her and then I'd win a fabulous trip to the dust buster."

"Please." Spike didn't budge and finally Dawn threw up her hands. "Fine you won't help I'll just play Santa Claus by myself and then if I get into trouble you'll have to explain to Buffy how you just let me go off on my own."
"Fine, I'll come." Dawn smiled at her own craftiness. She had worked it so she didn't have to spend Christmas Eve with Riley and Buffy making goo goo eyes at each other and Spike was her way of getting to spend the entire evening away from home. She didn't really care what Buffy thought. She knew she would be safe and beyond that she didn't even care.
They picked up Santa and then out of nowhere eight reindeer appeared with a sleigh. They gave each other questioning looks, but shook them off. Stranger things have happened. They loaded Santa into the sleigh and hopped into the front of the sleigh.
"So do these animals know where they are going?" Spike asked as he grabbed hold of the reins.
"Well judging that they've been doing this for eons, I think they'd remember the way by now." Spike gave them a 'giddap' and away they went into the starry night. Dawn was right; b/c the reindeer went on like nothing had happened. Spike wondered about this guy. He wondered about who he was and why he had chosen his crypt to fall off of. Dawn may think he's Santa, but Spike didn't believe it. He couldn't. The reindeer flew for about 10 minutes and then they stopped on top of someone's house. Spike slowly halted the reindeer, but they didn't seem to need much help.
"Ok, Santa man, you get to take the toys down for the nice litt' girls and boys," Spike said as he turned his head to look at the guy, but to his surprise the guy was gone and only his clothes remained. Now Spike was really confused. How did the guy disappear? And where did he disappear? And WHY didn't he have any clothes on?
"I guess you'll just have to do it." Dawn pipped up. Spike gave her a baffling look.
"Are you completely daft? I am not sticking one foot into that Santa suit." Dawn began to pout.
Spike crawled out of the bottom of the chimney in the Santa suit even dressed in the hat. He dragged around the bag of toys for the kids of the household. "I can't believe I let her talk me into this. If word gets out that Spike has turned to mush then I really am doomed." He worked his way grumbling along toward the brightly decorated tree that shone brightly in the living room. He dumped the bag in front of the tree and then headed back to the chimney. The bag lifted up by magic powers and suddenly Spike was back on the roof with Dawn and she had on a huge smile.
On their way to the next house Spike asked her why she wanted to come out here. She could have just made him take the sleigh and Santa back up to the North Pole by himself, but he felt there was another reason for the nightly getaway. Dawn tried to deny everything, but was completely unsuccessful.
"Well, I. Ok I wanted to get away from Buffy and Riley b/c they will be making goo goo eyes at each other and it's enough to make me sick." Spike looked pleased. "At least I'm cutting into Captain Cardboard's holiday fun and I never get tired of that." Spike thought to himself.
"All right litt' bit I'll help continue this adventure, b/c I enjoy spoiling Riley's holiday fun," Dawn smiled and was grateful that Spike didn't like Riley either.