I saw the Slayer kissing Santa Claus
Disclaimer: I own buffy, it does not own me.you have to wake up now deary; you were having a dream.oh damn.
Please forgive me for the craziness that is this story. I am new at this so please bear that in mind when yell at me throu your computer screens. I have been having up loading difficulties and not having the Internet at your home makes it a tad more difficult to post fan fic.
Onward: Spike is spreading Christmas cheer instead of Chaos, what the hell. Dawn is the trusty sidekick, but is as annoying as ever. Set during S5 definitely an AU.
Thanks to all the peoples who reviewed for me. This is my first fan fic so please don't bash me too much. Sorry I left you where I did last time, but I am still trying to adjust to this stupid uploading monkey.
And now the rest of the story (for all you Paul Harvey fans out there)
Stranger things have happened.
The reindeer pulled along while Spike was still dressed up in the Santa suit. Dawn began to giggle.
"WHAT"
"Nothing. it's just that this is so unlike the big bad. I'm just finding it slightly amusing that's all." Spike got defensive.
"I'm still the big bad, just b/c I'm in a Santa suit doesn't change the bad inside. Remember that luv"
The reindeer finally stopped on top of a house that had no chimney. Spike looked around and motioned for the reindeer to move on. "There's no chimney. What you want me to go in the front door. Not bloody likely, I couldn't even if I wanted to. In case you've forgotten I'm a vampire. No welcome, no enter." The reindeer didn't seem to understand, but then the bag magically picked itself up and nudged Spike. He turned around completely shocked.
"What the bloody. ah forget it. stranger things have happened." He grabbed the bag and it picked him up and squeezed him down an air exhaust. Dawn screamed softly so she didn't wake up the entire household, but her mouth dropped down to the floor of the sleigh.
Spike entered the house and emptied the bag, thrashing around making all sorts of odd little noises.
"Are you really Santa," a small voice spoke up above his thrashing.
"Well, today I am."
"Santa is English? Why don't you have a beard? You're not like the other Santas!"
"Actually I'm a substitute Santa, the real one will be along next year," Why am I being so nice to this stupid kid? "I am a vampire so I can't really have facial hair and I don't change much, so. go to sleep before I suck you dry!" Finally get this kid to shut up and stop asking so many questions. The kid obeyed and went back to sleep. Spike left the cookies and milk sitting on the table untouched. As he left the kid pipped up, "Don't you like cookies and milk?"
"I like blood, warm about 98.6 degrees. I don't fall into the ol' traditions. I'm evil." He went back up to Dawn the same way he came. He silently wondered why he felt good about doing good. It just didn't make sense.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Spike went from house to house when he suddenly realized that he had been entering unwelcomingly into other peoples' houses and couldn't understand why.
"Maybe it's Santa magic! Or it could be the fact that you're dressed in a Santa suit." Spike looked confused. " Maybe the Santa suit gives you immunity or something. We could ask one of the elves at the North Pole."
"Sure." Spike went back to his unexpressed thoughts. That's where all his fantasies of Buffy have been lurking the past few months and now the Santa thing was lurking. 'I hope this ends soon. This is too weird.'
The sky was starting to clear and become brighter as Spike and
Dawn began to worry about Spike burning into a pile of dust. Spike felt the air getting warmer, but the temperature wasn't heating up quite as fast as usual even Dawn noticed this.
"Why isn't it getting brighter faster? Not that I'm complaining or anything!" Spike shot her a dirty look. She could tell Spike was getting nervous that he was going to turn into a big pile of dust and didn't need Dawn making it more nerve racking for him.
"Look bit, I'm just a bit nervous that's all. Now let's get these deer home so we can go back to our normal lives." Dawn nodded her head in agreement.
Spike was about to leave their last city and head back to the North Pole when Dawn nudged him. "What?"
"You're supposed to say the line. 'Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night'"
"Why should I?" but Dawn gives a sad face and Spike sighs, "All right, if it'd'll make you bloody happy. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night. There you happy now?"
"Yes, Santa." Dawn winked at Spike. 'Oh no she's not going anywhere with this.'
"You're not about to tell the Slayer or her Scoobies. I'll kill you before you do and that's a promise not a threat." Dawn giggled.
"But you're so cute in your Santa suit." Spike winced and barked at her again with the same message. Dawn plopped down in her seat and pouted. The sun was rising, but before Spike felt extremely uncomfortable clouds rolled in and snow started to fall.
"This is so cool Spike."
"I guess we're getting close to the North Pole."
A couple of hours later:
The reindeer landed at the North Pole. The reindeer ran away and (you all know how the movie goes) an elf brings down the sleigh with Spike and Dawn inside it. While the elves are busy working away.
Spike asks around to see who can get him back to his crypt. No one can seem to answer his questions.
"Hey, you! How do I get home?" the elf would just answer that he didn't know.
"Come on, one of you has to know what the bleedy hell is goin' on."
"I may have the answer you're looking for Santa," spoke an older looking elf with a soft face and dark eyes.
"I hate to burst your bubble kiddie, but I'm not this Santa bloke you want. He disappeared somewhere over Southern California which is not my fault." The elf just nods his head and disappears down a long highly decorated corridor.
"Dawn stay there." Spike runs off pulling off the Santa suit. He can't get his arm out of the coat. "Hey how about a hand mate!" he calls to the older elf.
The elf turns around and helps him get his coat off. "I'm not your mate, I'm your advisor. Elves call me Angel." Spike exasperated.
"That's just great, my advisor has the same name as my sire. This is just bloody brilliant. It's like hell for vampires."
"You look hungry."
"Yeah, how about some blood."
"And some cookies or something not vampire suck your blood like" Dawn spoke up behind them.
"I think we could mange that." The elf led the way to his room.
"Hey, mate, I was wondering something. how do we get back home?"
"You get sent back in the morning, but you're due back here by Thanksgiving."
"why"
"To prepare for the next flight."
"What!! You mean I have to come back here and do this thing again."
"Well yeah. I mean you read the card didn't you?"
"No, what card?"
"Oh dear this is a disaster. How are we going to make through next year," Angel starts pacing the floor. "I'm going to have to look up what we're supposed to do in this situation."
"And what are we supposed to do?"
"Faith will take you to your room where you two can get some rest and I'll be there shortly." And away Angel went.
A little while later a girl with long blond hair and sparkling blue eyes stopped in front of Spike and Dawn. She smiled so sweetly.
"Santa?"
"Name's Spike. You must be Faith." The girl nodded. She looked at
Dawn and smiled as she motioned them to follow her.
They soon reached their room where there were two beds with lots of fluffy pillows.
"Angel should be with you soon; have a good night." Faith had left them to stare at the room in awe. The room was a crème color with red and green drapes over everything that stands still. The beds were made of polished oak and the bedspreads were red with gold boarders. The carpets were dark forest green with gold boarders and there was a small kitchen to the far left of the room. Dawn had started to stuff her face when Angel came in.
"Ok, mate so what is the deal?" Angel took deep breaths since he was out of breath.
"Look since you put the suit on you are required to work one more year till we find a replacement, but after next Christmas you can go back to your normal vampire ways. It's amazing, but you're the first vampire we have ever had."
"Uh, well that brings me to the question. how can I go into people's houses with out the welcome?"
"It's b/c the suit has magic that far older than any modern devices and as long as someone who believes in Santa lives in that house, you can enter."
"All right, that explains it."
"Well you two get some sleep and I'll ship the list to your house."
"What list?"
"The list where you mark if each kid is good or bad. They get a P for present and a C for coal," Dawn said swallowing a cookie down her throat. Angel smiled.
"Very good."
"Good night, Angel," Dawn crawled into bed. Spike soon followed and soon they were sound asleep.
More coming soon. Love to all who review. I'll even give you a cookie if you review my work. I want to comment on how working at McDonald's sucks ass monkey. And that having to work at all sucks ass monkey. So cheers to all the unemployed people, even Julia. I also want to comment that living in a small town is like slow torture. Like slow and painful death by spider bites. It's SO BORING. So review and give me something to do.
Disclaimer: I own buffy, it does not own me.you have to wake up now deary; you were having a dream.oh damn.
Please forgive me for the craziness that is this story. I am new at this so please bear that in mind when yell at me throu your computer screens. I have been having up loading difficulties and not having the Internet at your home makes it a tad more difficult to post fan fic.
Onward: Spike is spreading Christmas cheer instead of Chaos, what the hell. Dawn is the trusty sidekick, but is as annoying as ever. Set during S5 definitely an AU.
Thanks to all the peoples who reviewed for me. This is my first fan fic so please don't bash me too much. Sorry I left you where I did last time, but I am still trying to adjust to this stupid uploading monkey.
And now the rest of the story (for all you Paul Harvey fans out there)
Stranger things have happened.
The reindeer pulled along while Spike was still dressed up in the Santa suit. Dawn began to giggle.
"WHAT"
"Nothing. it's just that this is so unlike the big bad. I'm just finding it slightly amusing that's all." Spike got defensive.
"I'm still the big bad, just b/c I'm in a Santa suit doesn't change the bad inside. Remember that luv"
The reindeer finally stopped on top of a house that had no chimney. Spike looked around and motioned for the reindeer to move on. "There's no chimney. What you want me to go in the front door. Not bloody likely, I couldn't even if I wanted to. In case you've forgotten I'm a vampire. No welcome, no enter." The reindeer didn't seem to understand, but then the bag magically picked itself up and nudged Spike. He turned around completely shocked.
"What the bloody. ah forget it. stranger things have happened." He grabbed the bag and it picked him up and squeezed him down an air exhaust. Dawn screamed softly so she didn't wake up the entire household, but her mouth dropped down to the floor of the sleigh.
Spike entered the house and emptied the bag, thrashing around making all sorts of odd little noises.
"Are you really Santa," a small voice spoke up above his thrashing.
"Well, today I am."
"Santa is English? Why don't you have a beard? You're not like the other Santas!"
"Actually I'm a substitute Santa, the real one will be along next year," Why am I being so nice to this stupid kid? "I am a vampire so I can't really have facial hair and I don't change much, so. go to sleep before I suck you dry!" Finally get this kid to shut up and stop asking so many questions. The kid obeyed and went back to sleep. Spike left the cookies and milk sitting on the table untouched. As he left the kid pipped up, "Don't you like cookies and milk?"
"I like blood, warm about 98.6 degrees. I don't fall into the ol' traditions. I'm evil." He went back up to Dawn the same way he came. He silently wondered why he felt good about doing good. It just didn't make sense.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Spike went from house to house when he suddenly realized that he had been entering unwelcomingly into other peoples' houses and couldn't understand why.
"Maybe it's Santa magic! Or it could be the fact that you're dressed in a Santa suit." Spike looked confused. " Maybe the Santa suit gives you immunity or something. We could ask one of the elves at the North Pole."
"Sure." Spike went back to his unexpressed thoughts. That's where all his fantasies of Buffy have been lurking the past few months and now the Santa thing was lurking. 'I hope this ends soon. This is too weird.'
The sky was starting to clear and become brighter as Spike and
Dawn began to worry about Spike burning into a pile of dust. Spike felt the air getting warmer, but the temperature wasn't heating up quite as fast as usual even Dawn noticed this.
"Why isn't it getting brighter faster? Not that I'm complaining or anything!" Spike shot her a dirty look. She could tell Spike was getting nervous that he was going to turn into a big pile of dust and didn't need Dawn making it more nerve racking for him.
"Look bit, I'm just a bit nervous that's all. Now let's get these deer home so we can go back to our normal lives." Dawn nodded her head in agreement.
Spike was about to leave their last city and head back to the North Pole when Dawn nudged him. "What?"
"You're supposed to say the line. 'Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night'"
"Why should I?" but Dawn gives a sad face and Spike sighs, "All right, if it'd'll make you bloody happy. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night. There you happy now?"
"Yes, Santa." Dawn winked at Spike. 'Oh no she's not going anywhere with this.'
"You're not about to tell the Slayer or her Scoobies. I'll kill you before you do and that's a promise not a threat." Dawn giggled.
"But you're so cute in your Santa suit." Spike winced and barked at her again with the same message. Dawn plopped down in her seat and pouted. The sun was rising, but before Spike felt extremely uncomfortable clouds rolled in and snow started to fall.
"This is so cool Spike."
"I guess we're getting close to the North Pole."
A couple of hours later:
The reindeer landed at the North Pole. The reindeer ran away and (you all know how the movie goes) an elf brings down the sleigh with Spike and Dawn inside it. While the elves are busy working away.
Spike asks around to see who can get him back to his crypt. No one can seem to answer his questions.
"Hey, you! How do I get home?" the elf would just answer that he didn't know.
"Come on, one of you has to know what the bleedy hell is goin' on."
"I may have the answer you're looking for Santa," spoke an older looking elf with a soft face and dark eyes.
"I hate to burst your bubble kiddie, but I'm not this Santa bloke you want. He disappeared somewhere over Southern California which is not my fault." The elf just nods his head and disappears down a long highly decorated corridor.
"Dawn stay there." Spike runs off pulling off the Santa suit. He can't get his arm out of the coat. "Hey how about a hand mate!" he calls to the older elf.
The elf turns around and helps him get his coat off. "I'm not your mate, I'm your advisor. Elves call me Angel." Spike exasperated.
"That's just great, my advisor has the same name as my sire. This is just bloody brilliant. It's like hell for vampires."
"You look hungry."
"Yeah, how about some blood."
"And some cookies or something not vampire suck your blood like" Dawn spoke up behind them.
"I think we could mange that." The elf led the way to his room.
"Hey, mate, I was wondering something. how do we get back home?"
"You get sent back in the morning, but you're due back here by Thanksgiving."
"why"
"To prepare for the next flight."
"What!! You mean I have to come back here and do this thing again."
"Well yeah. I mean you read the card didn't you?"
"No, what card?"
"Oh dear this is a disaster. How are we going to make through next year," Angel starts pacing the floor. "I'm going to have to look up what we're supposed to do in this situation."
"And what are we supposed to do?"
"Faith will take you to your room where you two can get some rest and I'll be there shortly." And away Angel went.
A little while later a girl with long blond hair and sparkling blue eyes stopped in front of Spike and Dawn. She smiled so sweetly.
"Santa?"
"Name's Spike. You must be Faith." The girl nodded. She looked at
Dawn and smiled as she motioned them to follow her.
They soon reached their room where there were two beds with lots of fluffy pillows.
"Angel should be with you soon; have a good night." Faith had left them to stare at the room in awe. The room was a crème color with red and green drapes over everything that stands still. The beds were made of polished oak and the bedspreads were red with gold boarders. The carpets were dark forest green with gold boarders and there was a small kitchen to the far left of the room. Dawn had started to stuff her face when Angel came in.
"Ok, mate so what is the deal?" Angel took deep breaths since he was out of breath.
"Look since you put the suit on you are required to work one more year till we find a replacement, but after next Christmas you can go back to your normal vampire ways. It's amazing, but you're the first vampire we have ever had."
"Uh, well that brings me to the question. how can I go into people's houses with out the welcome?"
"It's b/c the suit has magic that far older than any modern devices and as long as someone who believes in Santa lives in that house, you can enter."
"All right, that explains it."
"Well you two get some sleep and I'll ship the list to your house."
"What list?"
"The list where you mark if each kid is good or bad. They get a P for present and a C for coal," Dawn said swallowing a cookie down her throat. Angel smiled.
"Very good."
"Good night, Angel," Dawn crawled into bed. Spike soon followed and soon they were sound asleep.
More coming soon. Love to all who review. I'll even give you a cookie if you review my work. I want to comment on how working at McDonald's sucks ass monkey. And that having to work at all sucks ass monkey. So cheers to all the unemployed people, even Julia. I also want to comment that living in a small town is like slow torture. Like slow and painful death by spider bites. It's SO BORING. So review and give me something to do.
