I saw the Slayer kissing Santa Claus

Disclaimer: I own nothing. The Buffy universe belongs to none other than the Easter bunny. No wait that's the colored eggs. Joss, the genius, actually owns Buffy. So don't sue me for anything.

Summary: Now that Spike has become Santa we now have to wonder what happens the next morning and when Buffy walks in. AU set in S5

The Morning After.

Spike woke with a slight headache like he was hung over from a wild night. Well it was a wild night. Spike rubbed his head trying to piece together the night before. Well I was walking home and then Dawn came and gave me blood which was hers and then some guy fell off the top of my crypt and we were flying around and I was dressed in a red suit where Angel. ah hell Angel came and told me I was Santa Claus. And now I'm here in my crypt, but where's Dawn? It could have been a dream.

"Morning Spike." Dawn rubbed her eyes. She took one look at Spike and started to giggle.

"What!" Dawn couldn't stop giggling. Spike looked down at himself since he really couldn't use a mirror and he saw something bright and.

"Spike I need your help; Dawn has." Buffy had just come bursting through the door and stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Dawn standing next to Spike. "been here all night long with Spike here." Buffy cocked her head at Spike looking for an explanation, but when she saw him she stood in absolute silence and then started to giggle just like Dawn did. "Spike what are you wearing?" Spike looked down to see that he was wearing red silky pajamas with a big S on the front of it.

"Oh don't worry Buffy, Faith gave those to him."

"When did Faith give you pajamas? Was it when we switched bodies?" Buffy looked confused. Spike sighed.

"Bloody hell woman let me answer a few before you ask any more," Spike took a deep breath. " I came home to find Dawn here and she gave me a present when a guy fell off of my crypt and he happen to be Santa." Spike stopped, he didn't want Buffy thinking a 120-year-old vampire would still believe in Santa Claus. "She came by we hung out watching the Christmas Story for the full 24 hours. I knew you'd worry so I was just about to send her home."

"Was that what happened?" she asked Dawn. Spike threw her an evil look like 'if you tell I will play with your innards.'

"No. we played poker. Spike taught me how to play poker."

"You taught my sister how to gamble."

"So what? She's a big girl she can handle a litt' card game now and then." Buffy shook her head.

"Dawn, get your coat." And away they went. God does he wish he could attack humans. He would have attacked that Santa bloke and told him to find someone else's afterlife to ruin. He took a mug where he drinks his blood and throws it across the room with such anger and fury.

Spike stood there baffled. With a heavy sigh he went to the frig to grab a packet of blood. He couldn't understand why this was happening to him of all vampires. ``````````````````````````````
"Dawn, what were you thinking staying with Spike the entire night and Christmas Eve of all nights. We were really worried." Dawn rolled her eyes in that annoying teenage way.

"Oh, I'm sure with Riley here you were so worried." Just then Riley popped his head in the living room where the sisters had been battling it out.

"So you're safe and sound. You had us really worried."

"So worried," Dawn said under her breath. Buffy glared.

"So you just stayed up all night playing poker?" Buffy questioning Dawn.

"Yes. We had a fun time together. I don't understand why you hate Spike so much." Buffy laughed sarcastically.

"You don't get it. How come you don't get it? He's a dead soulless thing. Nothing there, but evil and sarcasm. He's more pathetic than a regular vampire, b/c he can't bite anyone." (is anyone as tired as I am of this lame excuse.)

"I mean Dawn don't you understand that nothing good comes from a soulless, heartless vampire," Riley steps in siding with the stuck-up sister. (only b/c he gets some from her)

I don't know whom I hate more. Riley or Dawn. Give me your opinion. More to come in the next exciting chapter of 'I Saw the Slayer Kissing Santa Claus'

Now that we have a bit of the story understood we can talk to some of the cast members and ask them what they think of the movie and it's progress.

We'll start with everybody's favorite, Spike. He's also known as William the Bloody and Spikey. He is a bit old for me, but I do like older guys. He claims to love Buffy, but I know that he would have passionate feelings for me if Buffy weren't in the picture. I will try to hide my resentment when I interview her, but let's start with Spike.

Me: So what was your reaction to having to play Santa Claus?

S: It was weird you know, b/c when I was a kiddie I used to stay up all night and wait for Saint Nick to arrive, but I'd just end up sleeping next to the fire. (He replies dreamily)

Me: Awwh, how sweet! So what is your favorite scene so far?

S: The scene where Buffy comes into my crypt lookin' for her sister, Dawn, and finds me in silk red pajamas. It shows her that I'm a sensitive man undernea' all this manly leather. (He pats his leather duster)

Me: (Sexy man, oh baby. I'm drooling) Hope to talk to you again. Thank you very much and here's my number. Give me a call sometime.

S: Of course Amanda. How about dinner next Tuesday? Oh damn I have a photo shoot on Tuesday, but I will call you. (He waves good-bye)

Next up is Buffy. Growl, scowl, burning hatred, scorching jealousy.

Me: Why don't you like it when Spike patrols? (Buffy squirms in her chair)

B: I don't care if he patrols, but he always seems to run into me (she whines)

Me: Why is that a bad thing?

B: B /c Spike is evil.

Me: Oh and Angel was just a mere innocent.

B: Spike tried to kill me countless times and then tried to kill the one I love.

Me: The key word in that sentence is that he "tried". Angel killed Jenny Calendar and tortured Giles.

B: I don't see the point in this (she just doesn't have anything to say back). Do you have any questions about the movie itself?

Me: How do you feel working on this movie with Spike?

B: It is awkward at times, when I feel his eyes rolling over me, but most of time we just don't talk a lot.

Me: Thank you for your time (I say stiffly)

TTFN

Please review. I would really appreciate it. Next time I will interview Captain Cardboard and the little bitch. Sorry you may want to miss that one.