Never My Money
Rated PG-13

Disclaimer – All characters belong to Stephen Sommers and Universal.

Sorry about the delay guys…lots of family stuff going on right now that's not so fun…I'll try to keep getting this up as often as I can.

Chapter 5
Silence.  It's really a strange occurrence, especially when it happens on a boat full of people.  And I think that's what bothered me more.  There was nothing.  No sound of steps, no music, no drunken bawling.  Just silence.

Except for that nearly, but not quite hushed scream down the hall.  Without thinking, the adrenaline kicked in, and I pulled out two revolvers, running down the narrow hall.

"Evelyn!"  I kicked in the door to her cabin, pointing both guns at an ugly guy in all black.  He grabbed Evelyn, pulling her in as a human shield, holding a sharp hook to her throat.  But that was only half my problem.  The other half threw the window open, and I immediately turned, firing repeatedly, nailing him, as well as the oil lamp on the wall, which fell down onto the furniture in a ball of flames.  Evelyn reached down for a candle and threw the hot wax over her shoulder.  Well, she just earned a few points in my book.  Hook released his grip, and Evelyn flew toward me, hiding behind me as I continued firing until we were safely out the door of the now burning cabin.

We got half way down the hall before Evelyn skid to a stop.  "The map! The map! I forgot the map!"  I grabbed her arm as she ran past me, spinning her back around to head away from the inferno. 

"Relax, I'm the map.  It's all up here," I said, pointing to my head, as I continued guiding, well, more like dragging, her down the hall.

"Oh, well that's comforting," she shot back.  We rounded a corner, heading out the door into the bitterly cold air.  I heaved up the gunnysack, grabbing some bullets out of the side pocket, handing it off to Evelyn.

"Hold this," I said, popping the chamber, shoving the bullets in unceremoniously.  Bullets started ripping at the side panels beside us, but I barely flinched, (having been around this crap far too long).  The shots kept getting closer, until Evelyn finally grabbed me, pulling me aside as the wall demonstrated what my head could have just done: blowing out into little bits and pieces.  If this woman saves my life one more time, I'm gonna be indebted for eternity.

Glancing at her with a nod, we rounded the corner, and I began firing up into the second deck, while Evelyn ducked behind me as we ran across the deck.  It was about then that I noticed the entire ship was a floating blaze on the water, men running horses off the side of the barge, people jumping overboard left and right.  Not a bad idea.

We made it to the railing overlooking the Nile below.  I shoved the guns into the holsters, turning to Evelyn who dropped the gunnysack with a thump.  "Can you swim?" I called to her over the gunfire.

"Well, of course I can swim if the occasion calls for it!"

"Trust me," I said, picking her up.  "It calls for it," and dumped her over the side of the boat.  I leaned over, sweeping the gunnysack up off the deck, and turned to jump myself when another of the guys in black leapt over the side of the railing, knocking me back and the bag from my hands.  These guys were everywhere!  And beating the hell out of me.  He decked me repeatedly, pushing me back away from the side of the boat, away from any kind of reload until I backed into a rather unstable support beam.  It caught us both off guard, but I recovered quicker, laying into the guy until he flew through a side door, engulfed in a ball of fire.  Wasting no time, I made my way back to the railing, throwing the gunnysack over my shoulder.  I was ready to be the next man overboard when none other than the stinky warden himself came up to me in a panic.

"O'Connell!  What do we do?"

"Wait here," I told him, as deadpan as I could manage.  "I'll go get help."  Well, one could hope he listened, right?  I leapt off the side of the boat into the frigid water and swam for shore.

The Carnahans had already pulled each other up on shore (thankfully the right shore) as I was trudging out of the water.  "We've lost everything!" Evelyn whined.  "All of our tools, all my clothes..."  I didn't see the problem with traveling lighter, but come daybreak, she was going to get some interesting looks in that paper-thin nightgown.  I threw the gunnysack down into the sand, pulling the revolvers out of their holsters to drain them.

"O'Connell!  Hey!  O'Connell!"  I turned slowly to the sound of the raspy shrill, finding Beni alive (dammit) on the other side of the river.  "Looks to me like I've got all the horses!"

"Hey Beni!" I shouted back.  "Looks to me like you're on the wrong side of the river!"  We were like two ten-year-olds – "I know you are, but what am I?"  I turned away, back to our own problem, while the Hungarian looked around, figuring out that I was right and started cussing up a storm.

"Well, O'Connell?" Jonathan said, wringing out his coat.  "Now what do we do?"  I realized the three of them were looking to me for the next move, so I answered.

"We walk," I answered, grabbing the bag and heading through the brush.

"I beg your pardon?" Evelyn's higher voice stood out among the three of them bitching.  She tried to follow me through the tall reeds, her nightgown getting caught up in them.  "We walk?"

"Do you see any other alternative?  If so, speak up.  I'd love to see where you call pull four horses from."  Her mouth dropped open for a moment as if to protest, but she quickly clamped it shut.  Without a word, I started heading down a slope away from the Nile, onto a worn path.

"No, I'm going any further!"  The warden collapsed into a pile on the ground, refusing to budge.

"Hassan, get off your ass, and let's go!"

"Mister O'Connell," Evelyn pleaded.  "It's late, we're cold, and wet.  And we need to sleep."

"She's right, ol' boy," Jonathan added.  "Or you're going to have to carry us all the rest of the way to Hamunaptra."  Jonathan and Evelyn collapsed into each other, leaving me the last man standing.

"Fine," I said, admitting defeat as I threw the gunnysack down.  This trip was quickly getting longer and going to hell in a hand basket.