The story was getting boring, so suddenly Barney appeared and sneaked up
behind Egwene and grabbed her. He cackled and then ran back into her room,
and grabbed Elayne. Then he went into Nynaeve's room and snatched Nynaeve
and Moiraine, and then disappeared into a massive cavern in the ground that
appeared, laughing evilly.
"Nynaeve!" Lan called after them. Birgitte, Min and Elaida and Rand appeared in the doorway.
"Did Barney come by here with Elayne?" Min asked.
"He took Moiraine, Nynaeve, Egwene and Elayne into that cavern," Lan reported, and pointed to the hole in the ground that was slowly closing up.
"We have to save them!" Birgitte cried, and jumped down into the hole. Lan went after her, and soon Elaida shrugged and followed with Rand and Min at her heels. The hole was rocky, and they were all banged around as they dropped. Soon enough, though, they fell on a grassy plain. Turtles with blue and red and yellow shells plodded along, and there were random square hills everywhere. They were in...
"Super Mario land!" Rand piped up. "Cool beans!"
"How does this game work?" Birgitte asked.
"You have to save Princess Peach. But in this case there are four Princess Peaches."
"I'll save Elayne!" Birgitte exclaimed.
"No, I will!" Rand said. Birgitte fingered her bow while glaring at him, and he backed off.
"Okay. I will save Egwene, then!"
"I will save Nynaeve," Lan offered.
"Elaida, you and Min go find Moiraine," Rand ordered, and bounced off to find Egwene. Min grumbled. Of course she got stuck with the nutcase.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Barney's Captives ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Bwa ha ha ha ha," Barney cackled. "Bwah, bwua, BWA HA hahahah heehee ha."
"So, where are you taking us exactly?" Nynaeve asked from where she was draped over Barney's broad left shoulder with Egwene.
"Bwa ha ha ha."
"I am the Daughter Heir of Andor!" Elayne shouted from the right shoulder, next to Moiraine.
"BWUA! BWA BWA BWA BWA BWA HAHAHHAHAHAH *cackle* HAHA!" They came to the top of a tall, dark cliff. There were two chairs on the very top. Barney dumped Nynaeve and Egwene into them and wouldn't leave until they put on peach-colored veils and a sticker that said "HELLO MY NAME IS Princess Peach." Then he ran off, bwa ha ha-ing.
"Well. This is nothing compared to the Amyrlin Seat, but its not that uncomfortable," Egwene commented.
"Yeah... so do you think they are coming to rescue us yet?" Nynaeve asked her.
"Maybe. I hope they bring food. I'm starving."
"Me too. I want French Fries. From Burger King only."
"Yeah! And they have the best apple pies."
"And root beer."
"Yeah! Oh, I hope they bring root beer."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Moiraine and Elayne ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Moiraine and Elayne had been dropped in a little shack in a valley. They had to wear the veils too. Every now and again a green turtle with wings bounced by.
"Wow, cool," Elayne said.
"I hope they come for us soon," Moirain said, miffed.
"They will. My Randy-poo will be here any minute," Elayne sighed. Moiraine could not conceal a snort.
"Randy-poo?" she choked.
"Yeah! Ya have a problem with it, shorty?"
"Who are you calling short?"
"You!"
"Yeah? Well you're... snobby!" Elayne sniffed and stuck her nose in the air.
"I am not snobby."
"That's snobby."
"No!"
"Whatever."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Lan and Rand ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Somehow Lan and Rand knew that Egwene and Nynaeve were together, so they went searching together. Yellow blocks hovered in midair, and Rand jumped up and hit them with his head. A blinging noise would result, and sometimes a giant mushroom would come off, though it went right through him. Lan just rolled his eyes.
"Are you done, sheepherder?"
"Nup! TeeheeheeheeheeheehEeEeEeHeEehEeEe." Suddenly though, when Rand hit one, a green dinosaur looking animal hopped down and looked expectantly at him.
"A yoshi!" He exclaimed. He got on and rode it, whooping like a cowboy. Lan was embarrassed at being associated with him. Rand accidently hit another block when he was whooping, and a blue yoshi appeared.
"Lan! Get on!" he shouted, and hopped away. Lan reluctantly got on and followed him. Suddenly, a turtle appeared. Rand squealed and ran behind Lan. Lan's yoshi ate it, and suddenly it had wings.
"Hey! No fair!" Rand said sulkily. Lan's yoshi rose into the air, and he flew far above Rand. As he scouted the area, he noticed a tall purple- ish mountain not too far away. On top he just made out two chairs, with two women in it. One had a braid, and one had a colorful stole around her shoulders.
"Rand!" he called down. "To that mountain!" He proceeded in that direction, but suddenly his yoshi swallowed and fell back down.
"Blood and ashes. Now we have to climb that moutain."
"Beans." The pair set of towards the mountain on their yoshis.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Elaida and Min ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Who are we looking for?"Elaida asked for the 100th time.
"Moiraine."
"Oh." Silence.
"Where is she?"
"We don't know, Elaida, that's why we're looking for her!"
"Oh." Silence.
"Why are we looking for her?"
"WE JUST ARE."
"Oh." They walked on for a while more, until suddenly Min saw two yellow blocks in the air. Curious.
"Elaida, go hit those things," Min ordered. Elaida shrugged, and did. One was a yellow yoshi and one was a mushroom. Min got on the yoshi and they kept going.
"How come I don't get one?" Elaida asked.
"You just don't." All of a sudden the ground ended, and yawned into a deep, deep, deep valley. At the bottom was a dot. It looked like a house, kind of. But they were too far away to tell.
"Let's go down there," Min said.
"Rightio!" Elaida said happily. They set off.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Birgitte ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Birgitte immediately hit a block and got on a yoshi. It was blue, so she kept eating turtles and flying. She had tons of points by now. Thank the Light she had been such a Nintendo freak as a kid.
"Hmmmm.... let's see." She too appeared at the edge of a massive valley. At the bottom was a dot. It looked like a house.
"Here we go!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Barney ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Barney sat in his lair, watching all of this happen. Bwa ha ha ha. But wait. The blonde girl, the cat girl, and the breeches girl were coming near to two of his captives. This was not the plan .Only one thing to do... plan B. He pressed a few buttons and waited as thousands of turtle warriors loaded to go into battle whenever he pressed [enter].
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Nynaeve and Egwene ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
They found some cards under the chairs, and now they were playing spit. Suddenly Egwene said,
"Actually, I want a milkshake. Not rootbeer."
"Hmm, you're right. A chocolate milkshake."
"I want strawberry. Strawberry is quality."
"Alright. This is getting boring, though... wanna play Go Fish?" Nynaeve asked her. Egwene shuddered.
"Anything having to do with fish reminds me of Siuan. How about Go Swordfight?"
"Okay!" They dealt the cards.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Moiraine and Elayne ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You know, we probably could just leave."
"You're right, the doors are unlocked and there are no gaurds," Elayne reasoned.
"But that wouldn't be fun."
"Yeah. Let's stay captive a few more minutes."
"Okay."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Lan and Rand ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lan and Rand were about halfway up the mountain, and their yoshis were panting. They stopped to rest, when suddenly they heard a roar from deep inside the mountain.
"What was that?" Rand asked.
"I don't know." Suddenly a massive turtle came out of a cave not to far off. Rand cowered. A squeak came from either him or his yoshi- it was hard to tell. Lan boldly stepped up the turtle, and his yoshi stuck out its tongue and gobbled it up. It smacked its lips. Suddenly little wings sprouted, and it soared up.
"Lan! Wait!" Rand cried, but Lan could not stop his yoshi. It had a mission.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Nynaeve and Egwene ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Give me yourrrr... fives," Egwene said.
"Go swordfight."
"Arg."
"Okay, do you have any, um, sixes?" Nynaeve asked.
"Go swordfight!" Nynaeve groaned. Suddenly they heard a sound like a helicopter hovering. They both looked in front of them and saw the head of a giant blue yoshi.
"Whoa." Suddenly Lan cam into view on top of the yoshi.
"Lan!" cried Nynaeve proudly. Egwene was speechless.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Rand ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
All of a suddenly two turtles and a yoshi came out of nowhere. Both yoshis ate a turtle, and Rand flew his up after Lan, the other one trailing behind.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Top of the Mt ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Suddenly Rand came up behind Lan with a spare yoshi.
"My darling Egwene," he said, bowing after he got off the yoshi. "May I save you?"
"I'm not your darling, but I'll take the yoshi." Egwene got on and flew a bit away, hovering. Rand did the same. Lan got on his and Nynaeve got on behind him, her arms wrapped around his stomach in a death grip. Heights were almost as bad as sea-sickness. All three yoshis flew off. They did not no where they were going. But hey.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Elaida and Min ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"He was a sk8r boi, she said see ya later boi, he wasn't good enough for her..." Elaida sang. Min looked at her strangely.
"That's a dumb song. I hate it. Where did you hear it?"
"... I don't know. It's by some girl named Arr- vill Lah- vigg-nah."
"Right. Change songs."
"...shorty, its ya birthday. We gonna party like its ya birthday. We gonna sip bacardi likes its ya birthday. And you know we don' gave a **** cuz its ya birthday!"
"ELAIDA! STOPPIT WITH THE RANDOM SONGS THAT NO ONE'S HEARD OF YET!" Min shrieked.
"Arg. Fine then. What about movies?"
"What's a movie?"
"Was it the Chad? No, the Chad was-"
"ELAIDA!"
"Nynaeve!" Lan called after them. Birgitte, Min and Elaida and Rand appeared in the doorway.
"Did Barney come by here with Elayne?" Min asked.
"He took Moiraine, Nynaeve, Egwene and Elayne into that cavern," Lan reported, and pointed to the hole in the ground that was slowly closing up.
"We have to save them!" Birgitte cried, and jumped down into the hole. Lan went after her, and soon Elaida shrugged and followed with Rand and Min at her heels. The hole was rocky, and they were all banged around as they dropped. Soon enough, though, they fell on a grassy plain. Turtles with blue and red and yellow shells plodded along, and there were random square hills everywhere. They were in...
"Super Mario land!" Rand piped up. "Cool beans!"
"How does this game work?" Birgitte asked.
"You have to save Princess Peach. But in this case there are four Princess Peaches."
"I'll save Elayne!" Birgitte exclaimed.
"No, I will!" Rand said. Birgitte fingered her bow while glaring at him, and he backed off.
"Okay. I will save Egwene, then!"
"I will save Nynaeve," Lan offered.
"Elaida, you and Min go find Moiraine," Rand ordered, and bounced off to find Egwene. Min grumbled. Of course she got stuck with the nutcase.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Barney's Captives ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Bwa ha ha ha ha," Barney cackled. "Bwah, bwua, BWA HA hahahah heehee ha."
"So, where are you taking us exactly?" Nynaeve asked from where she was draped over Barney's broad left shoulder with Egwene.
"Bwa ha ha ha."
"I am the Daughter Heir of Andor!" Elayne shouted from the right shoulder, next to Moiraine.
"BWUA! BWA BWA BWA BWA BWA HAHAHHAHAHAH *cackle* HAHA!" They came to the top of a tall, dark cliff. There were two chairs on the very top. Barney dumped Nynaeve and Egwene into them and wouldn't leave until they put on peach-colored veils and a sticker that said "HELLO MY NAME IS Princess Peach." Then he ran off, bwa ha ha-ing.
"Well. This is nothing compared to the Amyrlin Seat, but its not that uncomfortable," Egwene commented.
"Yeah... so do you think they are coming to rescue us yet?" Nynaeve asked her.
"Maybe. I hope they bring food. I'm starving."
"Me too. I want French Fries. From Burger King only."
"Yeah! And they have the best apple pies."
"And root beer."
"Yeah! Oh, I hope they bring root beer."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Moiraine and Elayne ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Moiraine and Elayne had been dropped in a little shack in a valley. They had to wear the veils too. Every now and again a green turtle with wings bounced by.
"Wow, cool," Elayne said.
"I hope they come for us soon," Moirain said, miffed.
"They will. My Randy-poo will be here any minute," Elayne sighed. Moiraine could not conceal a snort.
"Randy-poo?" she choked.
"Yeah! Ya have a problem with it, shorty?"
"Who are you calling short?"
"You!"
"Yeah? Well you're... snobby!" Elayne sniffed and stuck her nose in the air.
"I am not snobby."
"That's snobby."
"No!"
"Whatever."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Lan and Rand ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Somehow Lan and Rand knew that Egwene and Nynaeve were together, so they went searching together. Yellow blocks hovered in midair, and Rand jumped up and hit them with his head. A blinging noise would result, and sometimes a giant mushroom would come off, though it went right through him. Lan just rolled his eyes.
"Are you done, sheepherder?"
"Nup! TeeheeheeheeheeheehEeEeEeHeEehEeEe." Suddenly though, when Rand hit one, a green dinosaur looking animal hopped down and looked expectantly at him.
"A yoshi!" He exclaimed. He got on and rode it, whooping like a cowboy. Lan was embarrassed at being associated with him. Rand accidently hit another block when he was whooping, and a blue yoshi appeared.
"Lan! Get on!" he shouted, and hopped away. Lan reluctantly got on and followed him. Suddenly, a turtle appeared. Rand squealed and ran behind Lan. Lan's yoshi ate it, and suddenly it had wings.
"Hey! No fair!" Rand said sulkily. Lan's yoshi rose into the air, and he flew far above Rand. As he scouted the area, he noticed a tall purple- ish mountain not too far away. On top he just made out two chairs, with two women in it. One had a braid, and one had a colorful stole around her shoulders.
"Rand!" he called down. "To that mountain!" He proceeded in that direction, but suddenly his yoshi swallowed and fell back down.
"Blood and ashes. Now we have to climb that moutain."
"Beans." The pair set of towards the mountain on their yoshis.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Elaida and Min ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Who are we looking for?"Elaida asked for the 100th time.
"Moiraine."
"Oh." Silence.
"Where is she?"
"We don't know, Elaida, that's why we're looking for her!"
"Oh." Silence.
"Why are we looking for her?"
"WE JUST ARE."
"Oh." They walked on for a while more, until suddenly Min saw two yellow blocks in the air. Curious.
"Elaida, go hit those things," Min ordered. Elaida shrugged, and did. One was a yellow yoshi and one was a mushroom. Min got on the yoshi and they kept going.
"How come I don't get one?" Elaida asked.
"You just don't." All of a sudden the ground ended, and yawned into a deep, deep, deep valley. At the bottom was a dot. It looked like a house, kind of. But they were too far away to tell.
"Let's go down there," Min said.
"Rightio!" Elaida said happily. They set off.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Birgitte ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Birgitte immediately hit a block and got on a yoshi. It was blue, so she kept eating turtles and flying. She had tons of points by now. Thank the Light she had been such a Nintendo freak as a kid.
"Hmmmm.... let's see." She too appeared at the edge of a massive valley. At the bottom was a dot. It looked like a house.
"Here we go!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Barney ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Barney sat in his lair, watching all of this happen. Bwa ha ha ha. But wait. The blonde girl, the cat girl, and the breeches girl were coming near to two of his captives. This was not the plan .Only one thing to do... plan B. He pressed a few buttons and waited as thousands of turtle warriors loaded to go into battle whenever he pressed [enter].
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Nynaeve and Egwene ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
They found some cards under the chairs, and now they were playing spit. Suddenly Egwene said,
"Actually, I want a milkshake. Not rootbeer."
"Hmm, you're right. A chocolate milkshake."
"I want strawberry. Strawberry is quality."
"Alright. This is getting boring, though... wanna play Go Fish?" Nynaeve asked her. Egwene shuddered.
"Anything having to do with fish reminds me of Siuan. How about Go Swordfight?"
"Okay!" They dealt the cards.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Moiraine and Elayne ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You know, we probably could just leave."
"You're right, the doors are unlocked and there are no gaurds," Elayne reasoned.
"But that wouldn't be fun."
"Yeah. Let's stay captive a few more minutes."
"Okay."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Lan and Rand ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lan and Rand were about halfway up the mountain, and their yoshis were panting. They stopped to rest, when suddenly they heard a roar from deep inside the mountain.
"What was that?" Rand asked.
"I don't know." Suddenly a massive turtle came out of a cave not to far off. Rand cowered. A squeak came from either him or his yoshi- it was hard to tell. Lan boldly stepped up the turtle, and his yoshi stuck out its tongue and gobbled it up. It smacked its lips. Suddenly little wings sprouted, and it soared up.
"Lan! Wait!" Rand cried, but Lan could not stop his yoshi. It had a mission.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Nynaeve and Egwene ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Give me yourrrr... fives," Egwene said.
"Go swordfight."
"Arg."
"Okay, do you have any, um, sixes?" Nynaeve asked.
"Go swordfight!" Nynaeve groaned. Suddenly they heard a sound like a helicopter hovering. They both looked in front of them and saw the head of a giant blue yoshi.
"Whoa." Suddenly Lan cam into view on top of the yoshi.
"Lan!" cried Nynaeve proudly. Egwene was speechless.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Rand ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
All of a suddenly two turtles and a yoshi came out of nowhere. Both yoshis ate a turtle, and Rand flew his up after Lan, the other one trailing behind.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Top of the Mt ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Suddenly Rand came up behind Lan with a spare yoshi.
"My darling Egwene," he said, bowing after he got off the yoshi. "May I save you?"
"I'm not your darling, but I'll take the yoshi." Egwene got on and flew a bit away, hovering. Rand did the same. Lan got on his and Nynaeve got on behind him, her arms wrapped around his stomach in a death grip. Heights were almost as bad as sea-sickness. All three yoshis flew off. They did not no where they were going. But hey.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Elaida and Min ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"He was a sk8r boi, she said see ya later boi, he wasn't good enough for her..." Elaida sang. Min looked at her strangely.
"That's a dumb song. I hate it. Where did you hear it?"
"... I don't know. It's by some girl named Arr- vill Lah- vigg-nah."
"Right. Change songs."
"...shorty, its ya birthday. We gonna party like its ya birthday. We gonna sip bacardi likes its ya birthday. And you know we don' gave a **** cuz its ya birthday!"
"ELAIDA! STOPPIT WITH THE RANDOM SONGS THAT NO ONE'S HEARD OF YET!" Min shrieked.
"Arg. Fine then. What about movies?"
"What's a movie?"
"Was it the Chad? No, the Chad was-"
"ELAIDA!"
