Chapter 9
Lil' Granger
After Ron left the stage, shaking his fist at Snape and threatening him in a Texas accent, Hermione stepped onstage dressed in skimpy black leather nipple tassles, black vinyl shorts, heels, and sunglasses. She was also wearing a thick, gaudy gold necklace with a gold Gryffindor lion pendant the size of a hotplate. The tourists could not believe their eyes.
Draco had an erection out of sheer terror.
Fred and George were so excited that they wet their pants and start to weep uncontrollably.
Neville looked surprised, then discreetly started to masturbate.
Hermione stomped back and forth across the stage, nipple tassles waving like crazy. "Some bent mu'fucka in South Philly sayin', 'English rap some funky shit,'" she started, while the Muggle-born audience howled and cheered and the other half looked completely baffled. "I 'tacked mu'fu's ass, I threw nigga's shoes down the gutter, then I rapped, I did MY rap, what the fuck! Right there. So don't *fuck* with Lil' Granger."
Then she cued the DJ, and started rapping and completely shocking the audience for nearly an hour.
:::::A/N: Due to Fanfiction.net restrictions on NC-17 content, I cannot list the actual lyrics of the songs, but her songlist sums it up pretty well:::::
My Boot, Yo' Booty
Wet 'n' Juicy
Kickin' It Back, Slytherin
Cappin' Yo' Ass
I Got Big Titties (dance version)
I Say Fuck Exams
Wastin' Fudge
Wastin' the Whole Mu'fuckin' School (insanely long version)
To All the Girls I've Loved Before (duet with Julio Iglesias)
When she was done, there was stunned silence, then the tourists stood all at once and gave her a five-minute standing ovation. Hermione bowed, then pulled off her tassles and tossed them into the audience. Draco was so overcome that he fainted.
Dobby stood up to applaud and his pants fell to the floor. He pulled them up with an embarrassed smile. "That was definitely five socks!"
Winky was getting sloshed, but was able to slur, "That was an apple martini, double!"
Hagrid held up a sign that said, "NIN."
"I thought it was a five-point scale," Dumbledore replied patiently.
"It was," Hagrid admitted.
Snape kept stomping his foot, over and over, like he couldn't stop, so Dumbledore just counted it as a ten.
Hermione had a perfect score!
Ende
Lil' Granger
After Ron left the stage, shaking his fist at Snape and threatening him in a Texas accent, Hermione stepped onstage dressed in skimpy black leather nipple tassles, black vinyl shorts, heels, and sunglasses. She was also wearing a thick, gaudy gold necklace with a gold Gryffindor lion pendant the size of a hotplate. The tourists could not believe their eyes.
Draco had an erection out of sheer terror.
Fred and George were so excited that they wet their pants and start to weep uncontrollably.
Neville looked surprised, then discreetly started to masturbate.
Hermione stomped back and forth across the stage, nipple tassles waving like crazy. "Some bent mu'fucka in South Philly sayin', 'English rap some funky shit,'" she started, while the Muggle-born audience howled and cheered and the other half looked completely baffled. "I 'tacked mu'fu's ass, I threw nigga's shoes down the gutter, then I rapped, I did MY rap, what the fuck! Right there. So don't *fuck* with Lil' Granger."
Then she cued the DJ, and started rapping and completely shocking the audience for nearly an hour.
:::::A/N: Due to Fanfiction.net restrictions on NC-17 content, I cannot list the actual lyrics of the songs, but her songlist sums it up pretty well:::::
My Boot, Yo' Booty
Wet 'n' Juicy
Kickin' It Back, Slytherin
Cappin' Yo' Ass
I Got Big Titties (dance version)
I Say Fuck Exams
Wastin' Fudge
Wastin' the Whole Mu'fuckin' School (insanely long version)
To All the Girls I've Loved Before (duet with Julio Iglesias)
When she was done, there was stunned silence, then the tourists stood all at once and gave her a five-minute standing ovation. Hermione bowed, then pulled off her tassles and tossed them into the audience. Draco was so overcome that he fainted.
Dobby stood up to applaud and his pants fell to the floor. He pulled them up with an embarrassed smile. "That was definitely five socks!"
Winky was getting sloshed, but was able to slur, "That was an apple martini, double!"
Hagrid held up a sign that said, "NIN."
"I thought it was a five-point scale," Dumbledore replied patiently.
"It was," Hagrid admitted.
Snape kept stomping his foot, over and over, like he couldn't stop, so Dumbledore just counted it as a ten.
Hermione had a perfect score!
Ende
