Beautiful4
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So consumed in all your doom
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When everyone was called for dinner Meilin slipped out side and into the garden behind the main house. It was a magnificent night. The full moon was being reflected by the pond and was flooding the garden with light. The fireflies were also out. The flower blossoms were floating peacefully onto the pond's surface. And the crickets were singing to her. She sat on the garden bench a long time before she realized someone else was with her.
"How long have you been standing behind me?"
"Since you were out here," Meilin didn't respond but did turn around to face him.
Meilin looked at him for a while and nodded for him to come over and set next to her. "So what are we going to talk about?"
They didn't look at each other while they spoke but instead stared into the pond.
"Are you really not going to participate in the wedding ceremony?"
"I've seen everyone volunteering. You don't need me to be there, I'll just be in the way."
"That's not true. Sakura and I really want you there."
"I'll come."
"That's not what I mean."
"I know what you mean, but I can't do it."
He nodded at the last comment and hesitated before asking, "Are you okay with this? I know you've said that you were happy for us before, but…"
"You two are great together. You guys are a great team. You two were made for each other. It was fate that she became the cardcaptor and you went to Japan to help her."
He took one more look at her and hugged her, "I want you to know that if you ever need anything, I'm here for you."
She smiled at his last comment and nodded.
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He held her there motionless under the moon longer than they remembered and was torn away by the noise everyone was making returning home. Meilin spotted her parents with everyone else and followed them.
When they finally reached their house Meilin was told to wait for them in the living room. Sitting there she thought about what and why they needed to talk to her after all this time. They haven't said anything important to her in years.
"Meilin," said her mother in a harsh tone, "we noticed that XiaoLang was not with us at dinner." Meilin kept looking where she always looked when her parents talked to her. "Was he with you?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
"He wants me to participate in the ceremony."
Her mom raised an eyebrow and looked at her suspiciously. "Is that so…" Meilin didn't answer but kept looking at her feet. "You are to not participate, do you hear me."
"Yes. I have told him, so."
"Good, it's about time you did something right. But if you would've started out doing things right we wouldn't be in this mess now, would we? I thought that maybe you could still get him but you were too pitiful. Didn't possess any magic. Worthless, especially now since you don't have him any longer. What are we to do with you?" Meilin didn't answer. "Go to your room."
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The moonlight shone over her body as she lay on her bed looking at the ceiling. It was so familiar. So many countless nights spent staring at the ceiling choking back tears. Her pillows were soaked with tear-stains as well as her blanket. But there weren't any more tears still left in her. They were all gone, used up. As were her feelings. They weren't used up but they were decaying. There was no use for feelings in her life.
She'd still missed XiaoLang and how he use to hold her when she cried but there was no longer anyone to hold her. Earlier when he was holding her it was comforting, but the promise he'd made to her was more complicated. She wanted to go to him and tell him that she still loved him and how her parents were so vindictive towards her but that was something she could never do. She could never go to him for help when he comes to her for help.
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[End of CH 4.]
April 24, 2003
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So consumed in all your doom
----------
When everyone was called for dinner Meilin slipped out side and into the garden behind the main house. It was a magnificent night. The full moon was being reflected by the pond and was flooding the garden with light. The fireflies were also out. The flower blossoms were floating peacefully onto the pond's surface. And the crickets were singing to her. She sat on the garden bench a long time before she realized someone else was with her.
"How long have you been standing behind me?"
"Since you were out here," Meilin didn't respond but did turn around to face him.
Meilin looked at him for a while and nodded for him to come over and set next to her. "So what are we going to talk about?"
They didn't look at each other while they spoke but instead stared into the pond.
"Are you really not going to participate in the wedding ceremony?"
"I've seen everyone volunteering. You don't need me to be there, I'll just be in the way."
"That's not true. Sakura and I really want you there."
"I'll come."
"That's not what I mean."
"I know what you mean, but I can't do it."
He nodded at the last comment and hesitated before asking, "Are you okay with this? I know you've said that you were happy for us before, but…"
"You two are great together. You guys are a great team. You two were made for each other. It was fate that she became the cardcaptor and you went to Japan to help her."
He took one more look at her and hugged her, "I want you to know that if you ever need anything, I'm here for you."
She smiled at his last comment and nodded.
----------
He held her there motionless under the moon longer than they remembered and was torn away by the noise everyone was making returning home. Meilin spotted her parents with everyone else and followed them.
When they finally reached their house Meilin was told to wait for them in the living room. Sitting there she thought about what and why they needed to talk to her after all this time. They haven't said anything important to her in years.
"Meilin," said her mother in a harsh tone, "we noticed that XiaoLang was not with us at dinner." Meilin kept looking where she always looked when her parents talked to her. "Was he with you?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
"He wants me to participate in the ceremony."
Her mom raised an eyebrow and looked at her suspiciously. "Is that so…" Meilin didn't answer but kept looking at her feet. "You are to not participate, do you hear me."
"Yes. I have told him, so."
"Good, it's about time you did something right. But if you would've started out doing things right we wouldn't be in this mess now, would we? I thought that maybe you could still get him but you were too pitiful. Didn't possess any magic. Worthless, especially now since you don't have him any longer. What are we to do with you?" Meilin didn't answer. "Go to your room."
----------
The moonlight shone over her body as she lay on her bed looking at the ceiling. It was so familiar. So many countless nights spent staring at the ceiling choking back tears. Her pillows were soaked with tear-stains as well as her blanket. But there weren't any more tears still left in her. They were all gone, used up. As were her feelings. They weren't used up but they were decaying. There was no use for feelings in her life.
She'd still missed XiaoLang and how he use to hold her when she cried but there was no longer anyone to hold her. Earlier when he was holding her it was comforting, but the promise he'd made to her was more complicated. She wanted to go to him and tell him that she still loved him and how her parents were so vindictive towards her but that was something she could never do. She could never go to him for help when he comes to her for help.
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[End of CH 4.]
April 24, 2003
