Never, Ever, After

By: Prinder

Warnings: Slight swearing.

Rating: PG-13 just to be safe.

Summery: Relena really should be more careful about what she wishes for…

Disclaimer: *Grumble, grumble* *sigh* …I do not own Gundam Wing, nor will I ever own it. I am just a poor, pitiful wannabe-author that isn't worth suing, so, if you please, just don't.

"Denotes speech."
'Denotes thought.'

Denotes writing.

"Denotes over a phone or any other form of com-system."

(Denotes my interruptions.)

I would like to take this time to list all of the people who have reviewed this fic and to thank them for taking the time to give me their honest opinions about it: Mysterious Ocean's Mists, Abex, Relwarc, artemis1082, NafX, Mystikat, Slash Gorden, Silence, Danny Elf, ekwebmaster, dee, Rei Tamashii, Triton Bloom, Dan Inverse, SailorDigi-Oh-Light, criminal wreckchords, Eric, Lain, (and last but certainly not least…) Erin Lowe.

You guys are so awesome, yes, even you SailorDigi! And for those of you who think that this is going to end up be all fun and games, well, I've got news for you; there are still a few more twists and turns ahead and it's only going to get darker and darker from this point on! So sit back, fasten those seatbelts cause here we go!

~Prinder

Chapter 6

'When did everything get so dark outside? Is there even a window in this room? Where am I?' Relena thought as she let out a long, lengthy, moan as she pressed gingerly on her bandage-covered left temple. Her head was killing her.

"Well, it's about time you woke up sleepyhead!" a voice, which she quickly recognized as her adoptive mother, Amanda Dorlain, said with a chuckle.

"Mother… what time is it?" She asked as she slowly sat up as her achy muscles screamed silently in complaint about being moved from their state of rest.

"Six…" Amanda replied sparsely; she wanted to avoid breaking the news to her daughter for as long as possible.

"AM or PM, and how long have I been out?" She questioned, pushing down the feeling in the back of her neck when she felt Heero's eyes boring into her from somewhere in the darkness; did her mother know that they were being watched in this god-awful pit that they called a room?

"PM dear; you haven't been unconscious very long, only for a day or so." Amanda replied, making eye contact with the boy sitting in the bed on the other side of her daughter's. He was squinting to keep the bright light that poured in through the soundproof window that was located behind the older woman's chair.

"How is everyone?" Relena said, attempting to make small talk.

"They're all doing fine." Amanda said, thinking, 'Everyone is fine except you.'

"Can you turn on the light or something? It's so dark in here; why are you sitting the dark anyways?" Relena asked. Heero fought the urge to wince at the blank look within the dark, aqua-blue, orbs; her eyes looked like that of a dead man's.

"…Relena, I have something to tell you." Mrs. Dorlain said, slipping into "Diplomat's wife" mode as she usually did when she had to tell her daughter something important.

"Mother, what is it?" Relena said, her eyes, unknowingly, shaking upon the realization.

"The lights are on, Relena, and the window's curtains are pulled open as far as they can go and the light from the setting sun is as bright as anything."

"I don't now what you're saying… Mother, what do you mean?" Relena asked her eyebrows pinched together as she thought.

"You can't see anymore, Relena…"

*****

"You can't see anymore, Relena…"

Even after her mother had long left the hospital, the words still echoed back and forth in her head; their meaning left her no choice but to form a list of things she could not do anymore, on a notepad that she couldn't see with messy writing that she was sure that looked a fright as she wrote:

-Sign documents.

-Read documents.

-Write (very well).

-Watch the sunset.

-Go out for a run (vary easily).

-Work (without any trouble).

-See my Bother's face again (or anybody's for that matter).

-Be (totally) independent.

-Watch a movie.

-Read a book (without the use of Braille).

-See the look on Heero's face when we throw him a surprise birthday party…

Relena chucked when she heard Heero's muscles tense up from somewhere nearby; the rustling of fabric gave him away and she supposed he was be the curtains, next to the window; how else could he have made that sound? "Tricked you didn't I? You thought that I didn't know you were in here, didn't you Heero? She asked in an amused, yet slightly bitter, tone.

Heero refused to answer and Relena mentally added not being able to see his eyes anymore; the one thing that ever gave his feelings away to anyone who would look closely enough. Heero, in the meantime, was debating with himself whether or not to get up and remind her that there were other ways for the blind to get along without the use of their sight; he didn't move.

"I'm not angry with you." Relena said suddenly from her spot on the other bed.

"Huh?" Heero snapped his head up to look at her, her eyes staring at the wall behind him.

"I'm not angry with you, if that's what you're worried about." She replied, smiling at the slipup he made; a sure sign that she had surprised him again.

"You're not." He stated trying to come to grips with what she meant.

"There was nothing else you could have done. You did everything that you could do, everything that WE could do, to prevent it from happening. Do you believe in fate, Heero?"

"No."

"I do… I believe that, sometimes, things happen for a reason… Maybe there is something that I need to learn from this that I didn't realize until now; it's possible, isn't it?"

He got out of his bed and made his way over to the window; looking out as the first stars in the night barely began to peek through the cobalt blue sky as he said, "I can't protect you anymore." his voice calm and even all the while his eyes took on an unusually glossy look; they were watering. He silently told himself that it was because he knocked some dust free from the curtains as he bushed past.

"What happened to you Heero?" she asked as she pulled her legs under herself and forced herself onto her knees; still facing Heero's bed.

"I lost a lung and they say that I won't be able to function to my full capability ever again because of it." he replied as he tried to ignore how strange it felt to have her not being able to look him in the eyes and give that silent message from her own, ocean colored, orbs saying that she still trusted him and that she knew that everything would be alright even though she knew that it wasn't.

"It's never stopped you before, what people have said that is, so why is it stopping you now?" she demanded, making him turn to regard her; her shoulders were pulled back with her chin held high and, if he could have seen her face, he was sure that her eyes were narrowed and flashing with that fire hidden deep within the girl that was sitting on the bed with her feet tucked under her rear and glaring at an object that wasn't there. He didn't realize that he was laughing until she turned her head and made her blank eyes meet his own.

"You move so quickly; I didn't even realize it," she said, turning the rest of her body so that she was more comfortable. "Heero, what happens now?" she asked, somehow not seeming worried about it; asking more for conversational reasons then for any other.

"I don't know, yet."

*****

"They make a really cute couple, don't you think so Wufei?" Quatre asked, staring down at the security monitor before Wufei reached over and shut it off, knocking the blonde man out of his trance.

"Stop fooling around. We don't have forever." Wufei said with a smirk; letting the other know that he thought the same.

"Did you have any luck with checking the Person-search?" Quatre asked, turning back to the printer as a long stream of information flowed out of it in the form of computer code. He grimaced; it was going to take Heero's incredible decoding skills to sort the whole mess out.

"Nothing that we don't already know." Wufei replied.

"I was afraid you were going to say that. That's it, I'm going to call in a few favors…" Quatre said as he leaned over to the videophone and switched it on before beginning to dial.

"This is the Branwen; what can we do you out of?" a cheery boy with a long, lean, build said as his face appeared on the screen.

"Hey, remember me?" Quatre asked with a smile.

"Q-TIP! Hey!" the boy replied, his dark brown eyes widening with surprise.

"It's good to see you too; listen, I'm in need of some information on someone. Do you think you can get it for me, Darren?"

"If it's anything worth knowing, a shuttle-man would know it… Who's the bloke you're asking about?" Darren replied as he brushed his hair out of his eyes.

"His name is Joshua C. Muller."

"MULLER?" Darren replied, jumping from his seat, "What do you want to know about him for?" Darren choked.

"Why do you ask? Is there something going on with him?" Quatre asked.

"You better believe there is! Spider and Nightshade picked up on it and were going to call into Preventer first thing tomorrow and--"

"I'm sorry to cut you off but we're in a hurry. What's going on Darren?"

"Right, right, sorry about that. Turns out he's been out to get total control of dome three; word has somehow gotten out to him by someone in our Mars-division that there is an alloy mine just a few miles below the surface that's got the makings of a metal stronger then your ruddy Gundanium!" Darren replied, leaning in closer to the screen, as if to keep others from over-hearing them. Darren, who looked to be nothing more then your average space cargo-shipper, known to many as "Shuttlers", was part of an intricate network of men and women who, instead of living on the colonies or the Earth, lived on the other plants of the solar system and each of these plants had what they called "divisions" who acted as sub-workers for Preventer, providing them with the latest in space-combat weaponry and the various, top-notch, land-force artillery known to date. Along with being the root of the Preventers' military strength; they also acted as extra ears for the general public in case Preventer ever gets out of line in it's "protect and serve all" approach.

"Stronger then Gundanium?" Quatre gasped.

"I didn't stutter. Yes, even stronger then that. Word has it that his plan was to get Peacecraft all doped up so that she would listen to everything he told her, what with her being the one in pretty-much total control over what all happens to the domes what with them being her babies and all… anyway, the plan backfired when he realized that it would take more then just doping her up until he got what he wanted; he'd still have to keep her alive and working, otherwise people would start asking questions, if you know what I mean, and that's not even the best part; Joshua got word of what the Titan's were going to do and told Earth, that's partly why Preventer Wind and Fire were down on the plant when the dome was attacked; they were going to try and stop the Titan's from taking the colony before, they didn't know this part of course, Muller got to it."

"But how is that possible? His father is one of the peace-promoting diplomats, in fact, he's one of the top-ranking pacifists within the whole government!" Quatre exclaimed.

"That don't mean jack shit in this world, Q-tip, you know that! I don't know why he's doing it, it may have nothing to do with his daddy at all, but then again you don't always have to be a pacifist to pretend to promote it. Take Peacecraft for example if you don't believe me."

"What do you mean?" Wufei asked as he pushed Quatre out of the way so that he could speak.

"Now just a minute here… Q-tip, who is geek?" Darren asked, making fun of Wufei wearing his thick-rimmed reading glasses.

"Oh, that's Wufei…" Quatre commented, chuckling when Wufei began to sputter angrily.

"I'll just leave it on your head that he's on the level… If you must know, people say that Relena isn't that much of a pacifist, sure she was one when she first started off, but… they say that after Marie-Maya she changed, she didn't seem all that into it anymore… not that I'm saying that she's pro-war or anything… just that she doesn't act like she completely anti-war either." Darren attempted to explain.

"Thanks for the help Darren, we have to tell Une this right away."

"Don't mention it. No, really, don't mention it; things have been odd around here lately and I'm starting to think that someone is talking to all the wrong people and I don't like it!" Darren said before abruptly hanging up.

"Wufei… I think we're in for big trouble…"

*****

"What do you mean 'She's not going to be talking to you anymore'? Who are you to say such things, you little snot-nosed punk?"

"Just what it sounded like; I'm not going to repeat myself." Jessie replied on the other end of the line as Joshua slammed his fists onto his desk.

"That's what you think! I'll see you hanged before the month is out, McCall, just you wait and see!" he screamed before hanging up.

"He took that well." Relena commented dryly from her seat by the window; she had grown tired of laying in bed all day and refused to be calm until somebody had opened the window a bit to let the cool air brush past her face. It had been a strange request but, in the end, Heero had agreed to it; it wasn't long afterwards that Joshua had called requesting to speak to her. Relena, who wasn't in the mood for dealing with him just yet, suggested that Heero "Take care" of the man. Heero was only too glad to do it too.

"We haven't seen the last of him; he's not finished yet." Heero said, his voice betraying nothing, making Relena wish for the second time that day that she could come up with some way for her to be able to read him without her eyesight.

"I know…" Relena replied; her empty sight saddened by him relating the same thoughts back at her, more like an echo then a person.

"Relena…" Heero began as he walked over to her, a crutch under one of his arms to help support him. He stopped in front of her and stared down onto the top of her head.

"You really do look stupid with green hair Heero…" she said absentmindedly, chuckling slightly at the memory of what he last looked like.

"I know." He replied quickly; he was getting tired of the run-around already.

"And green eyes don't suit you at all…" she added.

"I know."

"You don't smile nearly enough and you try to act like a statue most of the time, but I care about you just the same." Relena finished with a warm smile that melted his heart slightly around it's icy edges though he never said anything in reply before the door opened and two different sets of feet walked into the room.

One was slow and controlled, though it held a slight stomp to it, indicating that it's owner was slightly angered by something while the other set was soft and light with every step almost planed before it was ever made, though it's steps were quicker in comparison, a sign that it's owner's legs were shorter then the other persons.

"Hello Milliardo, Noin, it's nice of you to come and see me." Relena said, guessing exceptionally well on who the pair was.

"You look well, sister." Milliardo said as he took six of his long strides to make it over to her side while it took Noin nine of her own to keep up with him.

"I am." Relena replied as she allowed him to take her delicate, cold, hands into his warm, calloused, ones.

"That's good. Relena, how have you been holding up?" Noin asked as she placed an encouraging hand on her lover's shoulder.

"It's hard but I know I can manage."

"Heero, how have you been doing?" Noin asked, surprising the young man by what actually sounded like genuine concern for his well-being.

"I'll be out of here by the end of the week." Heero replied, recovering quickly from nearly dropping his protective mask.

"Good to hear it. Relena, the doctor said that, if you're up to it, you could start rehabilitation today if you want." Noin said, turning back to the wheat-blonde woman in the chair.

"I'd like that." Relena replied as she stood up and stumbled forward slowly; her arms outstretched to avoid from hitting anything, saying, "This almost like playing Pin the Tail on the Donkey!" as she landed on of her hands on her brother's well-toned chest.

"Take it easy sister; Noin and I will help you." Zechs said with an amused tone; glad that his little sister hadn't lost her spirit as well as her sight, as he took her by her good arm and Noin guided her by pressing gently in the younger woman's upper back, being careful not to jar the newly repaired shoulder blade, which was still tender from both the crash and the operation, as they headed out the door.

Laughing at how silly the must have looked to the other people in the halls as they left; leaving Heero alone to think as he continued to stand numbly by the window, mindlessly watching the shadows under one of the trees below shift and change positions at time passed by.

"Heero?" Relena said as she walked into the room slowly, feeling along the walls as she went.

Heero blinked, 'when had it suddenly become so dark outside?' he thought as he turned to look at her.

Relena just smiled, as if she knew that she had surprised him, saying in an excited tone, "Milliardo and Noin had to go home; visiting hours were over for today. I still want to practice but they, the doctors, won't let me; they think that I've worked too hard already today but I just can't go to sleep yet! I want to know that I can do it all on my own, without any help from anyone, when I get released."

If only she knew, if only she knew that her determination could make him smile like that, that her willingness to try was so powerful that he couldn't help but want to move the moon in the sky, all just for the sake of trying. Some emotions weren't so hard to grasp for retired Perfect-soldier; he held an endless amount of respect for the girl-turned-woman that stumbled around the room, falling once or twice, but always getting up again. He always knew that he felt something for her that was more then just friendship or comradely, but it had to be more then just love, there was more to it then that, he felt more then just the simple endless longing to hold her and telling sweet-nothings, more then just the thoughts of what-ifs. It was more like a soul's bond to another, a way of interchanging strengths without the aid of the other acting as a crutch to support the first. If it what was one could deem love then it would have to be a quiet form of it; the kind where one could just curl up with and hang on to, even when the other that felt it wasn't around. That was what Heero Yuy envisioned the kind of feelings he felt for her to be.

"Heero, May I…?" Relena's voice trailed off.

"What is it?"

"May I… may I feel your face?" she asked as she placed one of her hands on the cool glass of the window. How she knew he was still standing there, he wasn't sure.

"Okay."

"Can you guide me?" She asked as she raised her hand slowly, jerking it back slightly when it came into contact with his own before he took it and held it to his cheek. "You're face is a lot like Milliardo's" She said as she slowly traced her fingers along his jaw line, "You're jaw was broken once, wasn't it?" she asked.

"Three times." He replied, watching as she smiled at the feel of the rumbling his voice gave off as he spoke.

"You're nose too?" she asked as she felt the thickly healed bone on the bridge of his nose.

"I lost count." He replied, making her giggle.

"If I didn't know any better, which I do, I would have asked if you were accident-prone." she smiled, her eyes watering up as she felt minute scars in varying places along his hairline and the back of his neck, "What gave you these?" she asked as she felt a particularly nasty feeling one.

"Life."

"Why was it so hard for you? It's just not fair." she whimpered as she wrapped her good arm around his neck in a from of a hug, "I know I don't know must about your past but even that little bit that Doctor J. told me must have been so horrible for you." she said, whispering into his ear.

"I got used to it." he replied, unsure as to how to react to having someone give him what he would have considered a strangle-hold without causing any harm to them; usually, when he got an arm wrapped around his neck, it was for the intention of either holding him as a hostage or to keep him still long enough to kill him, in both cases he would normally just fling the person over his back, regardless of who he, or she, was. But, with Relena, he found himself fighting against his training, as he almost always did when it came to her and her well-being.

"You shouldn't have had to, Heero." she said as she released him and began running her fingers over his strong brows and forehead before moving to his eyes; which he closed in favor of allowing her to continue. "Have you ever cried before Heero?" she asked as she rubbed one eye and then the other as if wiping away tears that were unseen.

"No."

"Not even when you were little?"

"I can't remember back that far."

"Not even when you were little then," she mumbled sadly.

"You?" he asked, making her jerk her head up, more out of habit then anything.

"There were some times before I lived with the Dorlains, though, I can't really remember all of it; I was barely three when the Peacecrafts were murdered. Growing up, I would have nightmares about a burning mansion; Milliardo told me that it was our home when we were attacked, I didn't cry then much either, I guess." she explained, her eyes staring blankly into his own; her hand removed from his face and held protectively over her heart before she had to bring it up to her own to yawn.

"You're tired." Heero stated as he moved his way back over to his bed to sit down, placing his crutch where he could reach it with ease if he needed to.

"It's been a long day." Relena commented as she followed the wall over to her own and turning down the blankets with practiced ease, as if she was used to stumbling into bed late at night.

"It has."

"Good night Heero, sweet dreams." she said as she tucked herself in, hissing slightly when she rolled over on her wounded shoulder wrong in an attempt to get comfortable in the rock-hard hospital bed. Heero just propped himself up on his pillows slightly and traced the designs that the cracks in the ceiling, smiling amusingly when one of them turned out looking like ET before he, too, drifted off to sleep.

*****

All of the mission's parameters were set and they were none-the-wiser to his schemes as he ran swiftly from the manufacturing base on L1, hopping over the seven-foot tall fence like it a twig and he, himself, was a jackrabbit. What would Odin have said if he had seen THAT feat of prowess? The old man might have been killed but HE wasn't about to go down anytime soon.

Running down the hillside he allowed himself the pleasure of doing a childish tumbling roll onto the sweet-smelling grass. In just a few hours that base would be, quite literally, up in smoke. He laughed at the vary thought of how the Alliance would react to the discovery that their number one mobile suit factory was blown to smithereens.

"Hi there!" a little girl giggled; she couldn't have been much older then five, as she peered over him, blocking out his view of the colony. Absentmindedly, he wondered about how strange it was to have no sky; with the wheel shape of the colony, when one looked up, they saw the other side of town. It was somewhat disorienting in a way.

"Are you lost?" the girl asked, knocking him out of his thoughts.

"Hum?" He said, turning to look at her as she kneeled down beside him, her shiny red hair still visible under her large white hat.

"I said: Are you lost?" she repeated.

"I've been lost ever since the day I was born." He said as he redirected his sight to a blade of grass next to one of his hands.

"Oh… that's so sad. Well, I'm not lost at all! I'm taking Mary out for a walk!" she said, laughing as the puppy that was sitting next to her whimpered and licked her face before she stood up and held out a small yellow daisy in her chubby little fist, saying, "Here, I'll give you this flower-- Hey, Mary! Wait for me!" Her dog had pulled its leash out of her other hand before she could explain why.

He sat and stared at that flower in his hand for hours on end, almost as if, if he looked at it hard enough, all of the secrets of the universe would be given to him. How strange that most full grown adults were afraid of him and yet this little girl had walked up to him and attempted to make friends. It was all so vary confusing!

Later that night, he stood just outside the fence with the detonator held up in front of his face by his right hand; in his left he still carried the flower.

"Mission complete." he said before pressing the button on the end of it with his thumb. The base was broken apart, piece by horrible piece; caused by the two-second delay made by the bombs set to go off at different times.

Turning to leave, he wasn't planning to wait around for the police to show up, he was about to go when a bomb went off dangerously close to his position. He didn't remember placing one on a mobile suit THAT near to the fence! They must have moved it during the day!

Swearing under his breath, he slammed the detonator onto the ground and taking off running; hoping against all hope that he could warn the people inside the apartment complex what was happening or, if he couldn't do that, maybe he could at least get some of them out before they were all killed by his lousy idea.

It was only fifty yards away, but he was still unable to make it in time and the only thing he could do was to shield himself from the blaze that was so hot that it hurt his eyes to look at it. Once the fuel was all used up, the fire only had the flammable materials left inside of the building to burn and it lost some of its original strength that it had before, allowing him to lower his arm and gaze in horror at what he had done.

He had searched the rubble along with some of the other residents of the colony, looking for survivors but he knew already that nobody could have lived through that; save for himself of course, but even that didn't cheer him up like it usually did.

They had managed to get the fire out relatively quickly so most of the things on the ground level were still intact, which must have been why he managed to find the bit of white curtain, the teddy bear, and Mary, the dog that belonged to the girl that had been one of the few people that had ever been unconditionally kind to him. She must have lived here, and died here too.

He made a shallow grave for the poor animal and placed the daisy on top of it before he let a single tear fall, remembering what his old friend had told him:

"Live by your emotions, kid, that's the only way to live a good life…"

Later that night, when he was in his cell pretending to be asleep, he overheard his trainer, Doctor J., and a man by the name of Dakim Barton talking in not-so-hushed tones.

"That's Ludicrous! Are you suggesting that we use the Gundam as a tool for a massacre?"

"THIS IS WAR! It's no big deal about sacrificing the general public! Now re-train him at ONCE! The humane feeling of kindness is unnecessary for our weapon!"

"You're right there, but, do you really believe that Heero Yuy would be pleased if we buried his humanity?"

He slowly sat up in his bed and tiptoed to the thick steel door and peered out through the window as the two old men walked away. "What- what are they going to do to me?" He said softly to the air, his eyes shaking at the thought of some new from of torture that the two senile old men would have in store for him in the morning. How DOES one go about removing ones feelings of kindness? He had been through hell already for most of his life, and that never really got rid of it. So how do you do it?

He had set it in his mind from that point on that he would fake it; he was a good actor, he could pull it off easily enough, they wouldn't know the difference…

"No! Let go! Damn-it! Put me down!" he screamed as six of the biggest, burliest, men on their secret base picked him up and, quite literally, DRAGGED him into the Doctor's laboratory.

"No need to panic, it won't hurt… much. Put him into the tank." J said calmly, as if it were perfectly natural for one to rip someone's feelings out by the root.

"LET GO! Put me down now! I mean it!"

"Hold him steady!"

"Somebody get the bloody door!"

"I can't hold him!"

"Damn this kid is strong!"

"Couldn't we have done this BEFORE he gave him the strength enhancers?"

"Calm down Lad! It'll be all over soon enough!"

"Okay, on three… one… two… THREE!" "Ally-whoop!"

"Yeah, sure kid! Keep splashing!"

Laughing, laughing, laughing…

"No! Let me out of this thing! I'll do whatever you say, just let me out! Come on! Please! Somebody! Help!"

"Let's start it at twenty percent…"

"Yes Doctor J."

"NO! STOP IT! AHHHH!"

The burns, the stings, scorching pain…

"Fifty percent!"

"Yes sir!"

"HELP! LET ME OUT, PLEASE, LET ME OUT!"

"Eighty."

"Right away doctor."

"…no… just stop… I won't do it again… I promise I won't…"

_______________________________________________________________________ Well, that didn't take long, sorry if it's late… I kind of lost track of time, I have the updated list of where the votes are standing at right now so feel free to vote if you want to see something different win.

Current Standings:

In first place: #7 with Fourteen votes.

Second place: #6 with Eight votes.

Third place: #1, #2 with Seven votes.

Fourth place: #4, #12, #13 with Six votes.

Fifth place: #8, #10 with Five votes.

Sixth Place: #9, #15, #14 with Four votes.

Seventh Place: #3 with Three votes.

Eighth Place: #5, #11 with Two votes.

And that's it! Thank you for reading so far and, until next time! BYES!