2 June, 2003
0100 hours
Harm's Apartment
The phone rang, and Harm answered it sleepily. "Rabb." Only silence answered him. "Hello?"
"Harm." Mac's voice was barely audible.
"Mac? What's wrong?"
"Come to McMurphy's?" she asked quietly. "I need a drink. Bad," she added.
"I'm there."
Click.
* * *
0115 hours
McMurphy's Tavern
Harm strode into McMurphy's, and glanced around. Where was she? He finally spotted her, sitting at the bar. Harm reached her in three strides of his long legs, and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Mac," he said softly. "What's up?"
Mac turned around and Harm could see the full shot glass sitting in front of her. "I....." She couldn't seem to get the words out.
"It's okay," he said gently. Harm took the shot glass and handed it to the bartender with a nod. The bartender quickly dumped it out. He knew the partners well enough to remember that Mac didn't drink, and he'd assumed years ago that she was a recovering alcoholic.
Harm took Mac's arm, leading her to a table in the dusky corner. Sitting across from her, he took her hands in both of his and squeezed them tightly. "Now, talk to me, Marine. What could be bad enough to make you want a drink?" Harm asked her.
"I called my sponsor," Mac said off-handedly. She stared down at Harm's hands and clutched them in hers. "She wasn't home. And I don't know of any AA meetings around here this time of night. So I called you. I'm sorry, I know you were probably...busy..." she spoke haltingly.
"I'm never too busy for you, Mac." Harm corrected her gently. "Tell me what's wrong."
"It's a long story."
"I have all night. In fact," Harm stood, pulling Mac with him, "let's go to my place."
"Okay." Mac was
too exhausted and emotionally distraught to argue.
* * *
0145
hours
Harm's Apartment
Mac was curled in a silent ball on Harm's couch. Her hands were wrapped around a cup of untouched tea.
"So, are you going to tell my why you're in my apartment at..."
"0145."
"Instead of home sleeping?" Harm finished, unfazed.
"I'm pregnant."
"What?" Harm reeled in shock. He felt like he'd been slapped. "How?"
Mac stared down into her tea. "A mistake. That's all he was, a mistake." Her voice shook with anger, but as she glanced up at Harm, her eyes begged forgiveness.
"Who is he?" Harm asked.
"No one you'd know. Besides, it's not an issue anymore. I told him and he - he took off." Mac sounded almost relieved at the thought.
"Bastard," Harm growled low in his throat. "Tell me who he is, I'll kill him."
"Harm, that's not going to help me now," Mac said, glad to have something else to focus on besides her predicament. "I just need...you."
Harm slid closer to Mac and wrapped his arm around her slender shoulders. "Anything you need, I'm here. You know that," he chided her gently. "You've always known that."
"I just need to know you'll be there, no matter what I decide. I need a friend right now." Mac choked on the words; she hated asking anyone for help. But with Harm, she knew deep inside that he wouldn't fail her - and more importantly, that he wouldn't think less of her as a person or as a Marine for needing help and admitting it.
"You'll always have that Mac," Harm said, his voice soft and comforting.
Mac rested her head against his shoulder. "Good, because I think - I think I want to keep the baby."
Harm was surprised, but he managed
to hide it well. "Whatever you want, Mac. I'm here."
* * *
24
October, 2003
1900 hours
"Hee, hee, hee, whoo." Mac rolled her eyes. "This is so ridiculous," she whispered to Harm.
"Suck it up, Marine," Harm laughed, kneading her shoulders.
Mac mumbled something under her breath. "Fine," she said aloud. "Hee, hee, hee, whoo," and on the "whoo", she smacked Harm's leg.
"Ow. That'll bruise." Harm rubbed his leg.
"Suck it up, Squid," Mac mocked him lovingly.
"If you didn't look so pathetic, doing that Lamaze stuff..." Harm warned her.
"Ahem." The instructor waggled her finger at Harm and Mac in reprimand. "Concentrate, people!"
Mac chuckled. "Yeah, Harm," she whispered. "Stop getting me in trouble!"
Harm chuckled to himself and went back to work massaging Mac's shoulders.
"By the way, be at my place by 1900 tomorrow. I have something planned." Mac's eyes twinkled.
"You didn't have to, Mac," Harm whispered.
"I know," Mac whispered back. "I wanted to. It's half-happy birthday, half-thank you for being so wonderful."
Harm couldn't answer, he just
kissed the back of Mac's head.
* * *
1836
27 January, 2004
Washington Memorial Hospital
"Just a couple more pushes, Sarah," Doctor Evans encouraged her.
"I can't do it, Harm," Mac looked up at him pleadingly. "I can't."
"Yes you can, Marine," Harm whispered fiercely, squeezing her hand. "You've been through worse than this, Mac. You've been shot, stalked, attacked - "
"Thanks, you're making me feel *much* better," Mac groaned.
"You can do it, baby!" Harm kissed her forehead.
Mac moaned softly. "Cute doesn't work with me, Harm. I told you that once before." With a supreme effort, Mac gave her all one last time.
Within moments, the doctor held up a squalling baby girl. Tears began to run down Mac's face as she watched her daughter being cleaned up and wrapped in a blanket. Quickly wiping them away, Mac snuck a peek at Harm.
He was crying silently, his body shaking. Mac reached out and took his hand. "Thank you, Harm."
"For what?" he asked, trying to hide his tears.
"For caring. For being here. For - for loving me." *It must be the drugs*, Mac thought. *I'm not responsible for my actions.*
"Always, jarhead." Harm leaned down and kissed Mac's cheek, and started to pull away.
Mac wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him softly on the mouth. "Promise?"
"Promise," Harm said. He kissed her back, tasting her tears on her lips. He pulled away as the nurse came over and laid the baby on Mac's chest.
Keeping one hand in Harm's, Mac stroked her daughter's back with the other. "Harmon Rabb, I'd like you to meet Harmony Catherine Mackenzie."
For the second time that evening, Harm stood in stunned silence. "H-Harmony?"
"Yes. If anyone deserves a namesake, it's you." Mac's face fell. "I'm sorry it couldn't be Harmon Rabb the Third, but then..."
Harm shook his head, still awestruck. "No, Mac. She's perfect. But are you sure? I mean, she's not really mine."
Mac shivered at the reminder. "You're going to be more of a daddy to her, 'Uncle Harm', than her real father ever will. You will, won't you?"
"Of course, Mac. Can I hold her?" Harm asked nervously.
"Of course," Mac echoed him. She handed him the baby and laid her head back on the pillow, exhausted.
Harm settled in a chair next to the bed, as Mac watched them with half-lidded eyes. "Hey there, Harmony. I'm kinda sorry your mom went and named you that," he laughed.
Mac's ears perked up and she began to worry that maybe Harm wasn't as delighted over his 'neice' as she thought.
"I mean, you're going to get teased a helluva - excuse me, heckuva lot in school. And you're going to get awful nicknames," Harm continued talking to the newborn. "But don't worry, I came up with some good comebacks, I'll teach them all to you."
Mac breathed a silent sigh of relief.
Harm cuddled the tiny body next to his chest. He felt the baby's chest rise and fall with each breath. He counted each finger and each toe. He brushed his fingers gently over the soft spot in her skull, and felt the little heartbeat through her head. *Oh, wow. She's so tiny,*. Harmony wasn't really that small for a full-term baby. She weighed in at six pounds two ounces, but to a six foot four, two hundred twenty pound naval aviator, she was the smallest thing he'd ever seen. One of his hands could completely cover Harmony's tiny head, and at sixteen inches, she barely hung over the span of both his palms.
Mac was unable to keep her eyes open any longer. As she drifted off to sleep, the picture of Harm holding her tiny daughter against his chest and talking to Harmony was imprinted on Mac's brain forever.
Harm looked up to see Mac curled on her side, the covers falling off. He stood, and held Harmony in one arm. With the other, he fixed the covers, tucking them around Mac gently. He settled back into the chair, lowering his voice to barely above a whisper. "Looks like you wore Mommy out on your first day, Harmony. Don't worry, she's tougher than she looks," Harm said as Harmony gave a tiny squeak. "She's a Marine, and you'll find out - she acts like a lion, but really she's a kitten inside."
Harmony burbled a little, wriggling against Harm's chest.
Harm chuckled softly. "Yeah, you'll figure out how to handle her all right. From the look on Mac's - that's your mom, by the way, Mac - from the look on her face, she's in love with you already. And," Harm leaned in close to the baby's ear and whispered, "It took me *eight years* to get that look from her."
Harm slipped his pinky finger into Harmony's little hand and she grabbed onto it and held fast.
When the nurse came in a half an
hour later to take Harmony to the nursery, she found the baby sleeping on
Harm's chest, still clutching his finger.
* * *
6
February, 2004
1300 hours
Mac's apartment
"Harm, it's three and a half minutes to midnight," Mac pointed out wearily.
"Yes, I know," Harm said distractedly. Harmony clung to one of his fingers, staring up at him with big brown eyes just like her mother's.
"You need your sleep for work tomorrow, Harm."
"I love the way you say my name," Harm commented, leaning down to kiss Harmony's little cheek.
If Harm could see beneath her olive complexion, he would've seen a blush rising quickly in Mac's cheeks. "Harmon Rabb Junior, you're changing the subject on purpose," she admonished. "Go home, get some rest and call me tomorrow."
Harm laid the baby in her swing and turned it on 'low'. He turned around and straightened up, hands on hips. He grinned down at Mac.
Mac stood up and put her hands on her hips, mirroring Harm. "You disobeying a direct order, sailor?"
"No, ma'am," Harm said, a laugh creeping into his voice. "I was just thinking about going to bed." He inclined his head in the direction of Mac's bedroom.
"Harm," Mac said apologetically. "I can't. You know I can't, physically. And emotionally, and for so many reasons."
Harm looked surprised, then amused. He chuckled softly. "Mac," he said, taking her hands in his. "I was talking about sleeping *with* you, not *sleeping* with you."
Mac was blushing again. "Oh," she said, staring at the floor.
Harm reached out and tilted her head up to look at him. "I want to hold you tonight. Can I?" he asked gently.
"You have work?" Mac's argumentative spirit was quickly failing her at the idea of sleeping wrapped up in his strong arms. She hadn't wanted that in a long time.
"I've functioned on no sleep, I'm sure I can work with eight hours, interrupted by feedings," Harm protested.
Mac finally gave in. "All right, Harm. You can stay."
"Yippee!" Harm winked and twirled Mac slowly around in his arms. When she laughed at him, it was music to his ears. "But Mac?"
"Yeah, Harm?" There was concern in her brown eyes as she stroked his cheek.
"I don't do burps."
Mac chuckled softly. "All right, all right. Then you get the diapers."
"It's a deal." Harm kissed her gently to seal the bargain.
"We should make deals more often," Mac commented drowsily.
Harm glanced over to where Harmony was sleeping in her swing. "It's bedtime, Marine," he commanded.
"Yes, sir!" Mac saluted, and turned to go into the bedroom.
Harm placed a hand on her shoulder to stop her. When she turned back to look at him questioningly, he reached one hand under her knees and placed the other around her waist. He hefted her into his arms with a low groan.
"Can't blame the Beltway burgers this time, Harm," Mac laughed, laying her head on his shoulder. "It's all her fault." Mac pointed at the softly snoring baby.
"I'll...be...sure...to...yell...at...her...when...she's...older...and...they've...fixed...the...
hernia." Harm grunted.
Mac punched his shoulder. "You big jerk."
"Am...not..." Harm oofed one last time for effect, as he placed Mac on the bed carefully. He sat down beside her, stretching out onto the bed and kicking off his shoes.
Mac leaned her head against his chest, listening to him breathe. "Mmmm."
"What?" Harm asked quietly.
"Nothing. I was just thinking that a girl could get used to this," Mac replied, tracing one finger over the ripples his muscles made in his t-shirt.
"Good," Harm said, kissing the top of her head. "'Cause I could sure get used to it, too."
Mac smiled to herself. "Goodnight, Harm."
"Goodnight, Sarah," Harm said. He felt her cheeks pull up in a smile at the sound of her first name.
Just as Mac's eyes were closing, for what seemed like the first time in two days, Harmony let out an ear-piercing wail from her swing.
"I'll get her." Mac sat up immediately. It was a reflex now.
"No, lay back down," Harm ordered her. He headed out to the living room and gently lifted the baby out of her swing. He laid her tiny body across one of his broad shoulders and rubbed her back gently. "What's wrong, angel?" he asked softly. "You can't be hungry, you just ate an hour ago. Does your tummy hurt?" Harms' voice slipped into a natural, calming rhythm as he spoke to the baby. His large hand rubbed her small back in tender circles. Harmony's only answer was to spit up all over Harm's t-shirt. "Oh, geez. Nice shot," he congratulated the baby with a laugh.
"Harm, what's taking so long?" Mac called. "Is the baby all right?"
"She's fine, Mac, we'll be right in," Harm said as he placed Harmony on the couch. Reaching over his head, he quickly pulled the soiled shirt off and tossed it into the wicker basket that was serving as their temporary laundry collection spot. He was back in the bedroom in a matter of moments, carrying Harmony, who was lying against his bare chest.
Mac had to literally bite her tongue to keep from commenting. Harm's muscular arms carrying her baby, so carefully, was an inspiring sight. This gorgeous creature, so physically perfect, (and seemingly, emotionally, too) taking such good care of an infant. Harm leaned over to hand Harmony to Mac, and his chest rose and fell with his even breaths. *Well, that's one six-pack I wouldn't feel guilty indulging in,* Mac thought, and couldn't help running her hand over the planes of his sculpted chest. "Nice," was all she said.
"Thanks," Harm blushed, the first time Mac had ever seen him do so.
Mac cradled the baby in one arm, and glanced up at Harm. "Uhm...."
"Come on, Mac, it's not like I've never seen a breast before."
Mac chuckled to herself. "I guess not." She slowly lifted her shirt and began to feed Harmony.
*But I've never seen one like THAT!* Harm added mentally, trying not to stare. Every curve on her body, every swell and every dip was in the right place. Harm couldn't believe how beautiful she was sometimes. He wasn't sure how he was going to last six weeks...but for Mac, he'd sure try. Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, Harm reached his long leg around Mac, and slid in behind her. Resting against the headboard, he gently eased Mac back so that she was resting against him. His long arms held both Mac and Harmony secure in their warmth.
"Mmmmmm," Mac sighed
contentedly.
* * *
0800
hours
14 February, 2004
Mac's Apartment
Saturday morning dawned clear and bright. The frost was melting on the ground outside, the few hardy bluebirds remaining sang a brilliant song, and the sun was glorious in his chariot in the sky.
Harm strode into the bedroom, whistling softly. "Good morning, Mac."
Mac yawned and stretched. "Harm, it's oh eight...." she trailed off. "Oh my."
Handing her three white roses, Harm sat down on the edge of the bed with a smile. "I know it's early, but it's a beautiful day and I wanted us to get an early start."
"Start? For what?" Mac asked, bringing the roses to her nose and sniffing them, reveling in their scent.
"For our day. Happy Valentine's Day, Sarah," Harm said with a suspiciously happy grin on his face.
"Should I be worried? What have you planned, Squid?" Mac asked, sitting up and kissing his unshaven cheek.
"It's a surpise. Harmony's been fed, burped, bathed and dressed, ma'am." Harm ticked each item off on his fingers. "Your turn," he winked.
Mac chuckled and placed her roses carefully on the nightstand. She stood and pushed Harm towards the door. "Then go away and let me shower, sailor."
"Don't take too long, breakfast is almost ready." Harm called after her.
"Be done in a jiffy, hun," Mac's voice echoed from the bathroom.
"Hun," Harm echoed with
a cocky grin.
* * *
Mac emerged from the bathroom and got dressed quickly. Not knowing what Harm had planned, she chose an outfit that was all-purpose.
She sauntered into the living room in a emerald green sarong skirt that hugged the curves of her hips, and flowed softly over the gentle swell of her belly. She had a little pregnancy weight left, but after two weeks of Harm's healthy cooking and low-intensity workouts, her body was quickly bouncing back. Mac's matching green tank top revealed toned arms and glimpses of cinnamon skin that threatened to turn Harm into jello. Her dark hair was wrapped in a towel, and she bent over to kiss Harmony, not missing Harm's eyes following her every movement. She straightened and smiled at him. "You approve?" she asked, indicating the outfit.
"Oh, yeah."
"Good," Mac grinned as she toweled off her hair. "Now what's for breakfast?"
"I'm having eggs and toast, but I made some sausage to go with yours," Harm smiled broadly.
"Oh, yummy. I'm famished." Mac sat down and crossed her legs, one slipping out from under her skirt. Her ankle and calf beckoned Harm's eyes, and he nearly burned himself on the frying pan. "You okay?" she asked as Harm growled under his breath.
"Fine," he smiled. "I just can't wait till you see the rest of what Harmony and I planned."
"Oh, I see," Mac winked at him. "So my daughter was in on this, too?"
"Of course. In fact, it was her idea." Harm said, managing to keep a straight face.
"Right. You know, that will work better once she can hold her own head up, Harm," Mac chuckled. "But you're adorable anyway," she said, taking a bite of her breakfast. "Mmmm, for a vegetarian, you sure know how to cook sausage. It's almost better than Uncle Matt's."
"Speaking of your Uncle Matt," Harm said with a mouthful of eggs.
"Chew, swallow, then speak," Mac corrected, brandishing a fork.
"Sorry," Harm said, swallowing. "As I was saying, speaking of your Uncle Matt. I was thinking-you have four weeks of maternity leave left, and I have a week or so vacation time due to me. Why don't we fly out to the mesa and introduce Harmony to her great-uncle?"
Mac's eyes lit up like a kid at Christmas. "You'd come out to Arizona with us?" she asked.
"Of course," Harm flashed her his flyboy grin and Mac's heart melted like butter in July.
"You can be really sweet when you're not being a punk, you know that, Harm?" Mac asked, reaching across the table to squeeze his hand.
"Yep." Harm grinned as he lifted Harmony out of her seat. "Now, we have places to be and people to see, if you don't mind, Colonel. Finish eating so we can go."
Mac chuckled to herself and dug
into her breakfast.
* * *
1400
hours
The Roberts' House
Somewhere in Virginia
Little AJ peered over the edge of Harmony's seat. "Baby!" he said, pointing at the infant.
"Yes, very good, sweetie, that's a baby," Harriet echoed. "He's learned so many new words, it's unbelievable."
Mac smiled at the toddler. "AJ, can you say 'Marine' yet?"
AJ looked up at Mac and blinked. His little tongue stuck out between his lips as he thought. "Mayine."
"Close enough," Mac laughed. "One more time: say, Marine."
"Muh-reen." AJ copied Mac's exaggerated pronunciation.
"Very good!" Mac clapped for the little boy. She glanced over to the corner where Harm and Bud were animatedly discussing a case in low tones. Mac felt a twinge of regret - she wouldn't trade Harmony for anything, but God did she miss being a lawyer. She almost couldn't wait to get back to JAG. "Harm?"
"Yeah, swee - - Mac?" he corrected himself.
Harriet caught the slip and winked at her husband. *Almost,* she thought
"My back is killing me. Would you mind changing Harmony?" Mac asked, sweetly, grinning at him.
Harm flashed a killer smile. "Not at all, Mac. Excuse me, Bud." Walking over to the girls, Harm swung Harmony up into his arms gently. "Hey, punkin, let's go get a new diapy, 'kay?" he said to the baby, grabbing her diaper bag and heading for AJ's room.
As soon as Harm was out of the room, Harriet giggled like a madwoman. She grabbed Mac's hand. "Oh, he is smitten!" she said.
Mac squeezed Harriet's hand with a low chuckle. She watched the doorway Harm had just passed through. "Yeah, he really loves that little girl," Mac said softly.
"No, not her! Well, I mean, her, too. But you."
"What?"
"Mac, he loves you. Isn't it obvious? I mean, the man is *changing* a *diaper*. And you didn't have to hold a gun to his head!" Harriet looked incredulous. "It's a miracle."
"No, it's just Harm,"
Mac sighed happily.
* * *
1
April 2004
Harm's Apartment
Just outside of....oh, c'mon, ya'll know by now.
"Mac, it's been almost five years! How can this be rushing it?" Harm asked, genuinely not understanding.
Mac wandered silently over to Harmony's carseat, where the baby was dozing. She readjusted the blanket around her daughter, avoiding her friend's question.
"Mac, answer me," Harm said quietly.
"Because...because we just admitted how we feel," Mac tried to explain. "Because I have an infant to take care of and I don't want to do it alone." She turned back to face him defiantly.
"Who said you have to do anything alone, Mac?" Harm's voice softened. He reached out to tuck an errant strand of hair behind her ear tenderly.
Mac
smiled, capturing his hand and kissing his palm gently. "I know
you're here now, Harm, but if we...and you...oh!" she sighed exasperatedly
and dropped his hand, turning
away from him.
"Mac," Harm said carefully. He stepped up behind her and wrapped his arms around his partner's waist. "Mac, I'm not going to abandon you, no matter what."
Mac leaned her head against his shoulder and twisted her neck to see him. Her hand, of its own accord, stroked his stubbled cheek. "Promise?"
"I promised you that when Harmony was born, Mac. And nothing has changed."
"Not yet, but it will. Everything changes once you have sex with someone. And especially between us, Harm," Mac blushed. "We won't just be partners anymore."
"No. We'll be lovers," Harm said, his voice catching in his throat. He lowered his lips to brush against Mac's neck and she shivered.
Mac closed her eyes, savoring the sensation of Harm's lips on her neck. "I just don't want to lose what we have now, Harm."
"That's impossible," he whispered breathily against her neck. "I've loved you since the day I met you, and that won't ever change."
Turning in his arms, Mac laid her head on Harm's chest. "If you're sure..."
Harm released her quickly, and got down on one knee. Mac looked like she was going to faint - even a Marine's heart can only take so many surprises in one year. "Sarah Mackenzie, will you do me the honor of being my one true love, my soulmate, my Marine, my lover, my partner and my best friend?"
"Yes," Mac said simply, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing Harm soundly.
Harm stood, pulling Mac with him. He placed one strong hand on the small of her back and gently guided Mac towards the bedroom, kissing her soft neck the entire time. "Yum."
"What?" Mac chuckled softly.
"Marine, the other white meat," Harm said, nibbling at her earlobe.
"And here I thought you were a vegetarian," Mac teased as they entered the bedroom.
Harm chuckled, picking Mac up and carrying her over to the bed. "Well, sometimes, I indulge myself...this is one of those times," he grinned wickedly.
Harm set her down and Mac immediately tucked her legs up underneath herself, Indian-style. She patted the bedspread next to her. "I want to talk to you first, Harm."
"Sure." Harm sat beside her, falling into her eyes.
"You know, there are going to be a few things we'll have to deal with once we've...done this." Mac gestured around the bedroom. "Like how we're going to work together. What this means. How we're going to explain it to the Adm - -"
Harm took her face in his hands and kissed her gently, effectively silencing her.
"Mmph," Mac protested weakly.
Harm kept his lips on hers, tasting her, exploring her mouth with his tongue. Electricity tickled his spine and his insides were in a knot.
Mac gave herself up to Harm's kiss, and leaned into him, twining her arms around his neck.
Harm pulled her close, breaking their kiss to let his hungry lips travel down Mac's neck to her shoulder. He blazed a trail of gentle kisses over her collarbone and down to the swell of her breasts, tasting her skin under his mouth.
Mac bent her head. She kissed the top of Harm's head as his hands undid the buttons on her blouse. The silk fell back to reveal the rise of her brown sugar breasts. As Harm's tongue dipped eagerly into her lace bra, his hands expertly undid the clasp.
Mac began to laugh. "Harm..." she gasped between giggles.
"What?" Harm's eyes were already glazing over.
"Just how many times have you done that? You're a little too good," Mac teased, kissing his nose.
Harm sat up and kissed Mac gently, but passionately. "None of them mattered, Mac. You do."
Mac couldn't help smiling at him. "Thank you, Harm."
"I mean it," he said sincerely.
"I know you do," she said, reaching down to squeeze his hand.
Harm leaned into Mac, kissing her neck again, and she was forced back against the pillows. "Mmmm," was the only thing she could think to say. *I'm hopeless - he steals my words,* she thought, watching Harm. He lowered himself to indulge in a slow journey towards her stomach. One of his hands went ahead, guaging the terrain. Harm's hand slid downward delicately, gently slipping under the satin of Mac's panties. His finger caressed her lightly, just enough to feel her welcoming warmth.
Mac moaned softly. "That feels so good, Harm."
Harm's only answer was to probe her gently, his finger sliding into her easily.
Mac gasped at his touch. His hand, his lips, his very prescence was enough to turn her insides to jelly and her brain to mush. *Some Marine,* she thought. *One man touches me and I go to pieces. Can't even concen - -oh, god!* she thought as she felt his finger inside her, stroking her lovingly. "Harm," she whispered urgently.
"Mac?" He looked up at her, concerned.
"Make love to me," Mac said with a gentle smile.
"No."
"No?" Mac looked hurt.
"No. I want to make love *with* you, not *to* you."
Harm looked so serious, Mac felt bad about laughing. "Semantics, Squid. Just do it," she said, kissing him hard.
Leaning over her, Harm kissed her gently. "Undress," he said softly. "I want to feel your skin."
Mac slipped out of her tank top and boxers quickly. She tugged at the bottom of Harm's shirt, pulling it out of his jeans and over his head. She marveled once more at his physique - he was such a beautiful creature. As he wriggled out of his tight jeans, Mac gasped slightly. "Wow," she smiled. "Guess it's not true what they say about gold wings."
"And what's that?" Harm asked, laying down next to Mac.
"They make up for a small penis," she winked.
Harm laughed, pulling her close and burying his nose in her hair. "Mmmm, you smell so good."
Mac kissed his cheek and whispered fervently, "You, too." She reached down and began to caress him. A low moan escaped Harm's throat at the feel of her soft hand stroking his most sensitive spot.
With one arm wrapped around Mac, the other began a slow exploration of her body. His hands roamed across mahogany skin, touching, caressing and tickling every inch of Mac's sweet self. As his hands dipped below her stomach, she tensed.
"What's wrong?" Harm asked, concerned.
"Nothing, I just..." Mac took a deep breath. "I'm kind of a control freak in bed," she admitted. "I know exactly how I like it, and I tend to take over."
Harm smiled. "I thought as much." His hand gently patted her hip. "How about I go slow, and you tell me what you don't like?"
Mac smiled, relieved. "You're too sweet." She returned her hand to his thigh and resumed her manipulations.
With a groan and some considerable effort, Harm slid his hand slowly down Mac's taut belly, and between her legs again. This time, Mac was relaxed and ready. He gently stroked her wetness, hearing her soft moans in his ear. Her legs parted as if by themselves, begging Harm for more.
With one move, Harm was lying on top of Mac, propping himself up on his hands. Tipping his head to kiss her, Harm gently rocked his hips forward, brushing himself against Mac.
Mac groaned and sat up halfway to kiss Harm. "I need you, in me," she whispered. *I can't believe I'm saying this. To *Harm*, nonethless! Oh god, forget the rules, this feels too good.*
"Mac," Harm moaned, leaning down to whisper to her. "I've wanted you for so long."
"I'm all yours, Squid," Mac whispered back.
Harm rubbed himself against her, pressing the tip of himself into her.
Mac moaned softly, pulling him down onto her completely. "Please," she moaned.
Harm slid further in, feeling Mac, welcoming and warm, taking him in. One gentle push of his hips and Harm was inside her.
As Mac stared into Harm's eyes, she could hardly believe it. She started to cry - they were finally together.
Harm kissed away Mac's tears, even as his own eyes began to water with emotion.
"Harm," she whispered, unable to say anything else.
"I love you, Mac," he murmured. He pulled out of her, and slowly, gently, slid back in. Each rock of his hips slipped him out and in again. With each thrust, Mac moaned a little louder, kissing his mouth, his neck, anything she could reach.
Harm bent his head and took her right nipple in his mouth. As he pressed into her, he bit it gently, tugging it with his teeth.
"Oh, Harm!" Mac groaned loudly, running her fingers through his short hair. "Mmmmmmmmm."
Harm shifted his weight just a little, leaning forward. He rocked back and pushed into Mac again.
She cried out with the pleasure that move created. His body was putting pressure on her clit, as he stroked in and out of her. The combination was too much, and within moments, Mac was close to orgasm.
Harm felt her insides tighten and release rhythmically, her hips thrusting up to meet him, her gorgeous eyes shut tight, enjoying the sensations.
"Harm, I'm so close," Mac moaned softly.
"Good," was his only answer. Harm continued exactly as he had been.
Mac moaned louder. "Mmmmmm." She opened her eyes to look at Harm. "You feel so good."
"Can't be better than how it feels on my end. You're amazing, Sarah," he added, pressing deep into her, and kissing her hard, his tongue parting her lips to taste her sweetness.
Hearing her first name was all it took. Mac shuddered as the waves of orgasm overcame her. She tightened up, thrusting her hips up to meet Harm's and wrapping her arms around his neck tightly. "Yes!" she whispered in his ear. She moaned as she came, and the sound put Harm over the edge. He came inside her with a grunt. "Sarah," he whispered as they came together, their bodies entwined now, as their souls had been since the moment they met.
Rolling off her, without leaving her empty, Harm wrapped his arms around Mac.
"Stay there," she smiled, her eyes slightly glazed. "Don't leave me."
"Never," he whispered into her ear, nuzzling her neck.
Mac kissed his cheek and they
drifted off to sleep like that, with Harm still inside her, her legs wrapped
around his waist. It was a night neither one would ever forget.
* * *
0800
hours
3 May 2004
JAG Headquarters
Falls Church, VA
"What's this, Colonel?" Admiral Chegwidden skimmed the paper he was holding.
"My official request for a transfer, sir," Mac said, standing at attention.
"At ease, Mac." When she relaxed, AJ continued. "Why a transfer? If you're having problems adjusting to the workload after being gone for so long, we can start you back at half-speed for a while."
"No, sir, the workload is no problem." There was a long pause as Mac chose her words carefully. "Permission to speak freely, sir?"
"Granted."
"Harm and I are together," Mac tried to keep from grinning like a schoolgirl. "And since it's against regs, we have to split up professionally."
AJ bit back a smile. "Affirmative. Well, Mac," he leaned back in his chair. "I'm sorry to see you go, you're a hell of a lawyer, but do what you gotta do. Permission for a transfer granted. Where do you want to go?"
Mac had been mulling this for weeks. "I'm going to be in charge of a pilot program in Norfolk, training an all-female Marine battalion. It's a bit of a commute, but Harm and I are going to move halfway between JAG and Norfolk, kinda split the drive between us."
"Very well, I'll call Norfolk tomorrow and get it done. Dismissed."
"Thank you, sir!" Mac snapped off a salute. It was really unnecessary, but was her way of telling AJ she loved him, and appreciated all his help over the years.
"Colonel?" AJ moved around the desk towards her.
Mac stopped and turned back. "Yessir?"
AJ opened his arms. "Hug. That's an order."
Mac chuckled, and stepped into the
Admiral's arms, hugging him tightly. She felt tears spring to her eyes at
the thought of leaving JAG. "Thank you, sir," she murmured.
* * *
6
June 2006
Harm and Mac's Apartment
"What a mistake," Mac sighed to herself. "A great career, wasted. And for what? For *him*," she felt like crying - or hitting something. Or someone. The sea of tranquility that Mac and Harm had sailed on for nearly three years was rocked with a hurricane. It wasn't even something she could pinpoint. Having an analytical mind, being able to identify the problem and its root was always a comfort to Mac. Somewhere along the way, it just seemed like Harm had stopped noticing her. They still shared a bed, but he hardly touched her anymore. Harm barely spoke to her unless it was about Harmony. It didn't seem like he was angry, or like he was doing it to spite her. It just seemed he hadn't cared as much about Mac as he had about being a daddy. At least, that's how Mac saw it.
Mac couldn't take it anymore. She hadn't been able to end things, because she just honestly loved Harm, despite everything. She believed he was her soulmate, and the idea of losing him cut Mac to the core. *This is why I stayed alone for so long,* she thought angrily. *It's not worth being hurt over.* Not even the three good years that she and Harm had together as a couple could mitigate the pain that gripped her heart over the loss of their nearly eight years as friends.
"God help me, it's over," she whispered.
From the other room, Mac heard Harm's voice, singing to her daughter. "Hey, baby, I wanna know if you'll be my girl! Hey, hey, baby. I wanna know if you'll be my girl!"
*I thought *I* was your girl, Flyboy,* Mac sighed. Her heart broke, as it did every time she heard Harm sing. The sound of his voice used to comfort her. Mac couldn't count the number of times she'd laid in bed, listening to his sweet tenor proclaim words of love in a whisper. Or the times she'd snuck up behind him in the shower and simply sat on the closed toilet, captured by his passion for the music. Or the times she'd been cooking dinner and he would sing in the living room, Harmony singing along in her baby la-la-la. What a beautiful duet they made, Mac remembered thinking. But that was before Harm had forgotten she lived with them.
"Well, that's that.
Semper Fi, Marine," Mac told herself. "Let him fly."
* * *
27
January 2007
Mac and Harm's Apartment
Mac didn't get the courage to let go for a while after her conversation with herself. But the day came when she couldn't push her feelings any deeper, they came bubbling up in a torrent.
"Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday dear Harmony! Happy birthday to yo-o-o-o-uuuuuuuuuu!"
Harmony giggled as Harm, her mother and her friends sang to her. "You are silly," she said. Taking a deep breath, she blew out the three small candles atop her Carvel ice cream cake. Her little girlfriends clapped politely.
"What did you wish for?" Mac asked Harmony.
"C'mon, Mac, she can't tell, then it won't come true," Harm said distractedly. "You want to open your presents, sweetie?"
"Sure!" Harmony jumped down from her chair and ran towards the pile of presents on the couch.
Harm followed the little girl. He began handing her presents, one by one, as she ripped into them, oohing and aahing.
Mac sank down onto a dining room chair and started cutting pieces of cake for the preschoolers. This had been going on for some time now, she'd just chosen to ignore it. *Ignore it?* she asked herself. *How could you ignore what's been going on? It's Harmony this, Harmony that, Harmony, Harmony, Harmony. I love my daughter, but for god's sake - it's like I don't exist when she's awake. Hell, even when she's asleep, Harm wants to talk about her latest accomplishment. He barely noticed my commendation last month, my team's victory in the Base Olympics last *week*. All he sees now are crayon drawings and notes from KinderCare.* Mac grumbled mentally. *It's driving me mad!* "OW!" she said aloud as the knife sliced through her skin.
"You okay?" Harm called, turning to glance over his shoulder.
"Yeah, fine," Mac snapped, going to the kitchen and wrapping her bleeding finger in a towel.
"I'll be right back, Harmony, just keep going," Harm patted the girl's shoulder and ducked into the kitchen. "Mac?" he asked softly.
"What?" she growled, not turning from the sink.
"You okay?" Harm stood at the other end of the kitchen, giving Mac her personal space.
Mac's tone was indifferent. "Yeah, fine. Go back to the party." She clenched her teeth in anger - no, she wasn't angry. *I'm hurt. And disappointed - in you, Harm. You were supposed to be the one, you weren't supposed to let me down. But you have.* But Mac couldn't say any of what she was thinking. All she could do was repeat herself. "I'm fine."
Harm turned and left the room without a word. He didn't know what she wanted anymore. He had tried everything...giving her space, smothering her, protecting her, letting her go. Nothing seemed to make Mac happy anymore. *Just like Annie*, he thought. *Right before we - -NO. I won't even think that way. Mac and I will work it out, we always have before.*
From the kitchen, Mac heard him call, "Okay, Harmony, what else did we get? Ooooh, Barbies," he laughed.
Mac leaned on the sink and bent her head. She closed her eyes and drew a deep breath. "Suck it up, Sarah. Just get through tonight - don't ruin Harmony's birthday. You can talk to him tomorrow." Mac whispered to herself.
With that, Mac put on a big smile and
returned to the party.
* * *
1000
hours
The Next Morning...
"Harm, it's just not working." Mac stood staring out the window, her arms crossed in front of her.
"I know," Harm agreed, his heavy heart reflected in his voice. "But can't we try again?"
"No," Mac said softly. "I can't put myself through this any more, Harm. I love you, but..." she paused. "But we haven't been good for almost a year. I've been fooling myself into thinking it would get better and it hasn't. You're more interested in being a father than in being a lover. And that's okay," Mac turned, flashing him an understanding smile. "I couldn't ask for a better father for Harmony. But, you and I as a couple can't keep going the way we're going."
"I know."
"So what do we do now,
sailor?" Mac asked wearily.
* * *
1200
hours
14 February 2007
Mac's new apartment
Mac lay in her bed, curled into a little ball. All she could think was how awful this Valentine's was, compared to the two she'd spent as Harm's lover. He was so thoughtful then. They'd taken a trip to the zoo with Harmony and visited Bud and Harriet their first Valentine's. And when they arrived home, she found roses all over the apartment, candles lit, a romantic dinner laid out and AJ Chegwidden - waiting to take Harmony to his place for the weekend.
The next year was even better, if that was possible. She and Harm had been together for a little over a year, and Harm had combined a Valentine's celebration with their first unofficial anniversary. *What a spectacular night,* Mac thought. Harm asked Mac to meet him at 'their restaurant' at 8 o'clock, and wear something special. She went shopping on her lunch hour and came back with a fabulous short green number by Donna Karan. When she arrived at the restaurant, expecting to see Harm at their table, she was shocked. Everyone from the office was there...their friends, co-workers, even Clayton Webb was standing in the back, nursing a strawberry daquiri and tugging uncomfortably on his bowtie. At a deep male voice, Mac turned. "Uncle Matt!" she'd exclaimed. Harm had flown him in from Arizona for their anniversary celebration. Mac hadn't been able to see him in nearly two years, since Harmony was an infant.
A tiny voice broke into Mac's thoughts. "Mommy?" Harmony knocked on the open door.
"Come in, squidlet," Mac said softly.
Harmony giggled at her nickname, as she usually did. "Mommy, it's Valentine's Day, you know." She spoke amazingly well for a four year old. Her words were clear, without a slur or a lisp of any kind. Mac and Harm had been speaking to Harmony in adult language from the time she was conceived, and it had obviously paid off.
Mac nodded. "I know."
Harmony continued, "And you know Daddy always does something special."
Mac shook her head. "Not this year, pumpkin. Remember, Daddy and I aren't together any more."
Harmony nodded, her big brown eyes watching her mom's reaction carefully. "I know, but maybe he is still going to do something?" she offered.
"I doubt it," Mac said. With a forced smile, she grabbed Harmony and began to tickle her.
Harmony giggled and wriggled out of her mom's embrace. "Mommy, pay attention. I'm making a point."
"God, you sound just like him," Mac murmured. "Go ahead," she added.
"Well, maybe he's going to do something but maybe not. Instead of sitting here waiting to find out, why don't we go out? Just me an' you." Harmony smiled proudly.
Mac grinned at her precocious little girl. "All right. And I suppose you know where we should go, squidlet?" she said, resignedly.
"Uh huh. CHUCK E. CHEESE!" Harmony cried, bouncing on the bed.
Mac laughed, knocking her daughter down onto the comforter and tickling her. "All right, we can go to Chuck E. Cheese tonight."
"Yes!" Harm did a little
horizontal pilot's victory dance, wiggling her legs and flailing her arms.
* * *
1630
hours
Chuck E. Cheese's
Mac followed Harmony into the restaurant, carrying their jackets. "Go have fun, Harmony, I'm going to sit right over here," she pointed out an empty table.
"'Kay, Mom!" Harmony dashed off to the crawl-tubes.
"Shoes!" Mac snapped.
Harmony skidded to a stop and bent down and untied both her shoes. She ran back to the table and started to throw them onto the bench. A raised eyebrow from Mac stopped her. "Yes, ma'am," she said automatically, placing the little sneakers on the bench neatly.
Mac smiled proudly. "Atta girl. Now go," she grinned.
Harmony took off at a run again.
Mac stood and walked over to the counter to order their food. That accomplished, she sat back down at the table with a soda and opened up her briefcase. Mac pulled out a report she'd been trying to finish for two days. "And as such..." she began, writing notes to herself on a legal pad.
A child's scream broke her thoughts. She looked up - was it hers? No, Harmony was safely in the ball pit, buried to her neck in plastic balls. She reached a tiny hand up out of the balls to wave. "Look!"
"I see, sweetie," Mac smiled, and went back to the closing argument she'd been composing. "And as such, each order is in and of itself..." she muttered to herself.
"Mommy, look at me!" Harmony was hanging by her feet from one of the crawl tubes.
"Harmony Catherine Mackenzie, get down NOW!" Mac called in her Marine-Colonel, I-mean-business voice.
"Yes'm," Harmony said apologetically as she let her foothold go. Her little body hurtled toward the floor. She landed with a well-placed thud. "Tada!"
"Good lord, Harmony, you're a daredevil just like your daddy!" Mac exclaimed without thinking. Her heartbeat was steadily coming down from red-alert status.
"Really?" her daughter asked, the excitement evident in her voice. "I'm really like Daddy?"
"You sure are, cowgirl! In another couple years, you'll be flying my Stearman all by yourself," a deep voice answered her from behind Mac.
"Daddy!" In two bounds, Harmony was across the room and Harm had her crushed in a tight hug.
"Sweetheart, I've missed you so much."
Mac smiled slightly as she watched them together. No matter what else had gone on between Harm and her, she was glad she had asked him to be a part of Harmony's life.
"Watch, Daddy! Watch me!" Harmony said, diving into the ball pit.
"I'm watching, Harmony," Harm called. He walked over to Mac's table, glancing over at Harmony every couple of seconds. "Mind if I sit?" he asked Mac, without tearing his eyes from the little girl's adventure.
"Not at all," Mac said coolly. She bent her head and went back to work silently.
Harm sat there for a few minutes, without a word, watching Mac work. Her brow furrowed as she concentrated, and Harm realized that must be where Harmony picked up that mannerism.
Mac glanced up. "Yes?"
"Sorry, I was just thinking." Harm apologized, staring at his hands.
*Good god, this is horrible. We've been apart for almost a year, and we're not even friends. He can't even talk to me anymore.* Mac cleared her throat. "Harm," she began.
Harm looked up, and they locked eyes. He felt a spark start in his heart and travel through his body.
Mac stammered as she felt the same spark - the reason they'd been together in the first place. "I just...I want us to be able to talk. For Harmony's sake," she added quickly.
Harm nodded. "Of course. We can talk," he said softly, folding his hands in front of him.
Mac shook her head. "No, that's not what I mean. I mean, *talk*," she emphasized the word. She placed her hand on Harm's.
Harm smiled slightly. "I'd like that. What do we talk about?"
Mac shrugged. "Anything," she said. "Work, life, lo - -" she swallowed the offhand comment.
"Okay. How is work going?" Harm asked, a little stiffly.
"Just fine, thanks. I'm really enjoying the assignemnt. Watching these girls coming into the Corps is like watching myself so long ago. They're so excited and inspired." Mac sighed softly. "I'd forgotten what it was like to feel that much."
Harm nodded slowly. "Me, too."
Mac looked up at him inquisitively. She decided it was now or never. Leaning back and folding her arms across her chest, Mac asked him, "What happened, Harm?"
Harm blinked at Mac. "What happened when?"
"When you stopped loving me," Mac said, ever blunt.
Harm gasped slightly. "I never stopped loving you, Mac," he said quietly.
"Well, something happened." Mac tried not to let herself sound bitter.
"Yes, something did."
"What was it?" She wasn't sure she even wanted to know.
"It's a long story." Harm offered.
Mac nodded. "We have all night."
The waitress brought their pizza over and smiled at Harm. She winked as she walked away.
Mac cleared her throat. "Are you going to tell me?" she fought back the urge to add, "Squid".
"Yeah," Harm said slowly. "I'm not sure how to explain it, Mac. That first year and a half, everything was perfect. I had you, I had JAG, I had Harmony," he glanced over at the girl, who was crawling through an overhead tube. His blue eyes were full of love.
Mac nodded. "And we had you. But at some point, you seemed to forget there was a 'we'."
"I know," Harm whispered. "And I couldn't be more sorry."
"Go on," Mac said, her heart breaking. She couldn't help it - when Harm looked like that, all she wanted was to take him in her arms and make it all better.
"It was a lot of things, Mac. We were both so busy with work all the time, we barely had a couple of hours at night together." He paused, shifting his weight on the plastic bench. "And I know it's a poor excuse, but I didn't have an example of how to be a hus - -lover," he corrected himself. "My dad was a great father, and I had enough memories of him to follow his lead with Harmony. But he was never home. I never saw him with my mom for long periods. All I knew how to do was be romantic."
*And you were damn good at it,* Mac thought. *You had me fooled into thinking you loved me.* But she simply nodded.
"And I do love you. I always have, and probably always will."
"Harm, don't tell me this." Mac sat up straight. "It's not true," Mac said quietly, her voice blazing with anger.
"No, it's the truth. I may be a class-A fuck-up as a lover, but I do love you."
Mac sank back in her seat, listening, and trying not to judge him too harshly.
Harm continued, "Anyway, I was doing the best I could, but I guess somewhere along the way I started to concentrate on what I knew how to do - being a father. And I started to neglect you."
Mac nodded. "It wasn't just that, Harm."
"What else was it?" he asked softly.
"You didn't seem to care that I was even around anymore. We stopped doing things we'd done when we were just friends. You didn't tease me anymore, you stopped calling me jarhead and you stopped hugging me. When my mom died, and I was so upset, you could barely find it in you to hold me during the funeral."
Harm looked like he'd been slapped. "Mac, you don't know, do you?"
"Know what?" she narrowed her eyes.
"How angry you were. It wasn't that I didn't *want* to hold you, I did. So much." Harm realized he was getting loud and lowered his voice a few notches. "You were so angry. I guess you felt like you'd been abandoned by her again. And every time I tried to touch you, you were so tense. You did everything but push me away."
Mac couldn't speak for a moment, but when she did, she was mortified. "Harm, I didn't know you felt that way. I was just so upset, I wanted nothing more than to be in your arms. I didn't mean to put my feelings about my mom on you," she whispered.
"Mac," he said, touching her hand gently. "It's okay, I understood. I had no idea you thought I was being distant."
Mac stared at their hands. "S'okay," she said softly. "But what about all the other times; the past eighteen months? Were those my fault, too?" A hint of anger crept back into Mac's whisper.
"No, Mac. That was mostly on me. I started to forget how to be loved."
"What?" Mac asked, incredulous.
"I forgot why you'd fallen in love with me. I started to think you'd be better off without me. But I could never leave you, so I guess I started to push you away in the subconscious hope that you'd leave *me*."
"But why the crisis of self-confidence, Harm? I never stopped loving you," Mac admitted.
"Because I was starting to become interested in someone else. And I thought if I really loved you, that wouldn't happen."
Mac stood as if she'd been slapped. "Harmony, we're leaving!" she called, her voice shaking. She glared at Harm. "Goodnight."
"No, Mac, wait!" Harm stepped between Mac and the exit. "Please, let me finish," he pleaded.
"No."
"Please. If not for us, then for her," he pointed to Harmony. The girl stood a few feet away, watching her parents.
"She's not even yours," Mac whispered cruelly. "Why do you care?"
"You know why I care!" Harm was sorry he'd hurt Mac, but throwing Harmony's paternity in his face was unforgiveable. "Forget it, I shouldn't have said anything. I'll just take Harmony and go."
"Take her!" Mac was indignant. "What the hell are you thinking?"
"It's my weekend, Mac. We agreed, two weekends a month, right?"
Mac was seeing red, she was livid. But through that, the rational side of her brain remembered making that agreement, and she didn't want to deprive Harmony of her father. *Whether or not he's a lying, cheating bastard is irrelevant. She loves him.* Mac could've died right there.
"Fine," was all she said. "Harmony, c'mere, squidlet."
Harmony came running over. "Everything okay, Mommy?" she asked, touching her mother's cheek.
Mac didn't reply to the question. "You're going with Daddy this weekend, remember?"
Harmony smiled broadly. "Yeah, he's taking me flying!"
Mac nodded. "Well, you have clothes at his house, so just remember your jacket," she handed it to the girl. "Be good, and I love you." Mac kissed her daughter goodbye.
"I love you too, Mommy. See you Monday!" Harmony planted a wet kiss on Mac's cheek and hugged her tightly.
Mac turned on her heel and left
the restaurant in covert tears.
* * *
Mac got into her Jeep, angry tears coursing down her cheeks. *God DAMN him,* she screamed mentally. *After all I gave him - my love, my heart, my soul, my *daughter*!* She turned the key in the ignition and hit the gas, peeling out of the parking lot, practically on two wheels.
The radio played softly in the background, since Mac had left it on when she turned off the car earlier that night. One song ended and another began, as Mac's tears slowed, and finally stopped. The bitterness and hurt that consumed her heart began to freeze into a thin layer of emotional ice.
*Who was she?* Mac wonderded. *This mystery woman that was stealing Harm's attention even as I was losing it? Meg, his old partner? Jordan, his ex-girlfriend? No,* Mac decided harshly. *It had to be Annie. He was so in love with her before.*
"Why did he have to do this tonight, of all nights?" Mac asked herself aloud. "And how the *hell* did he know where we were anyway?" She answered her own question, "Harmony must've called him when I was showering. That little sneak." Mac couldn't help the smile that brushed her face. Harmony was always trying to get her and Harm to go places together. She seemed to think that if Mommy and Daddy could walk around the zoo together, they would get back together. *No,* Mac sighed. *It'll never be that easy. My life never is.*
As her car made its way toward home, Mac zoned out. The voice on the radio droned on quietly into the night. "And coming up, we have a special Trisha Trilogy. Three Trisha Yearwood classics in a row. Stay tuned." As the commercial faded away, the song came up softly.
"Call me crazy, call me anything you want. I thought that we had something good. Now I find it was only in my mind. Guess I just misunderstood." Mac pulled up to a red light and laid her hands on top of the steering wheel. She buried her face in her palms and sighed softly. The lyrics cut to her soul, as if the songwriter had seen into Mac's heart.
"It seems forever just came to an end. I thought our time had just begun. I will never really understand, why you would turn from love and run." Anger began to boil Mac's blood as she thought about Harm. *You bastard,* she wanted to scream. *How dare you! I trusted you. I broke down all the walls I'd built up so carefully, *just for you*. And what do you do? You ignore me. You tell me you love someone else. And you use me to get to my daughter.*
"Fools like me, we never learn. Fools like you are never true." Mac nodded as the song continued. *Ain't that the truth,* she thought. *I never learn.*
"You go your way, baby, I'll go mine. I'll go crazy like the wind. I will love you for a long, long time. I'll never have your love again." Mac cursed silently. *Damn you, Harm. After you, how could I even think about someone else? No one could love me like you used to.*
"Fools like me, we never learn. Fools like you are never true." *Why couldn't you be true, just this once, Harm? Why the FUCK couldn't you be mine?* Mac was still steaming. She couldn't get past the feeling of betrayal.
"Fools like me, we never learn. Fools like you are never true."
Mac pulled up outside her building and shut the car off, taking the stairs two at a time. Once she was safe inside her apartment, Mac locked the door and collapsed on the couch. She used the remote to click on the radio, tuning to the country station she'd had on in the car. Despite the feelings they stirred up in her, Mac felt soothed by the release.
"Now, the second in our Trisha Triple Play, "Victim Of The Game." As the deejay announced the song, Mac's dog, Jingo, came bounding out of the bedroom, and skidded to a stop in front of her. One of Mac's slippers, covered in drool, hung out of his mouth.
"Darnit, Jingo," she said softly. *It's not his fault Harm's an ass,* Mac reminded herself. She petted the dog's head gently as she lay on the sofa.
Trisha's beautiful voice flowed out of the speakers and over Mac, calming her soul and caressing her broken heart.
"It took a little time, but I guess you finally learned...that promises get broken, and bridges do get burned. You've been siftin' through the ashes, just tryin' to find a flame...holdin' on to nothin', you're a victim of the game." Mac stood, and turned up the volume as she made her way into the bathroom. She turned the hot water on and poured in some lavender-scented bath oils. Mac came back into the living room in time for the next verse.
"You were standin' way too close to see it fall apart. There were things you couldn't hear, cause you were listenin' with your heart." *Like his lies,* Mac thought. And the tears began to flow again.
"You can't say I didn't warn you, now there's no one else to blame. There's no one quite as blind as a victim of the game." *Yes, I should've known. I saw it for months, and ignored it,* Mac thought, crying silently. Jingo padded up to her quietly and laid his cold nose in her palm, as if to say, "I still love you."
"And it don't matter who you are, it treats everyone the same. All you need's a heart to be a victim of the game." Mac patted Jingo slowly, ignoring the tears trekking down her face.
"You know it's really gettin' to you when you take to tellin' lies. You can try to fool your friends, but you can't look 'em in the eye." Mac suddenly remembered something she'd said to Harriet about a year ago. *"There's nothing wrong, Harriet. We're fine," Mac had forced a smile. "It's just perfect."*
"There ain't no standin' tall in the shadow of the shame. When everybody knows that you're a victim of the game." The tears coursed freely down Mac's cheeks, leaving tiny trails of heartbreak.
"And it don't matter who you are, it treats everyone the same. All you need's a heart to be a victim of the game." *Then why does it seem like I'm the only one who ever gets hurt?* Mac asked silently.
"When I look into your eyes, I can really feel the pain. Starin' in the mirror at a victim of the game." Mac dropped her head into her hands and cried. After a minute or two, she shuddered and sucked in a deep breath. Mac stood and flipped off the stereo. She headed into the bathroom, stripping quickly and sinking into the hot water. Reaching out, she turned on the small radio in the bathroom and again the deejay greeted her, over the final strains of Trisha's second song.
"And our last of the Trisha Triple. Enjoy."
"Stars would shine on stormy nights. Flowers grew in winter time. Everything seemed possible, when we were in love." Mac's tears mingled with the bathwater as she listened to the lyrics. *When you loved me, Flyboy,* she thought.
"When forever was what other people lost. This lonesome valley was what other people crossed. No, I couldn't taste the tears other people shed. When goodbye was a word other people said." Mac shook her head slowly. *I always knew it would end. I knew I wasn't good enough for him.*
"Rivers flowed, a bridge would burn. The nights would end, the earth still turned. Yesterday was just a song to sing, in the world we knew." *Our world, Harm. The one you promised to build for me..the one you were going to protect me in.* Mac cried, her body shaking with the sobs that wracked her chest. Jingo sat nearby, whimpering compassionately.
"When forever was what other
people lost. This lonesome valley was what other people crossed.
No, I couldn't taste the tears other people shed. When goodybe was a word
other people said." Mac couldn't stop the thought...*It's never
goodbye between us, Flyboy. We always come back.* It just made her
cry harder.
* * *
She'd cried herself to sleep the night before, memories of Harm's arms around her wracking her slender frame with sobs. But as the morning sun peeked through the curtains to lightly fall upon her tear-stained cheeks, Mac stretched and awoke, surprisingly calm. She felt nothing inside: not hurt, not regret, not even anger.
Reaching for the phone, Mac sighed, dialing the number from memory. "Harriet?" she said softly. "I hope I didn't wake you."
"Of course not, ma'am." Harriet wondered why in the world Mac was calling *her* of all people, at 0630 on a Saturday. "What's wrong?"
"Please, Harriet. Call me Mac," she spoke quietly and serenely. "I need to talk. Are you busy this afternoon?"
"No, Mac," Harriet stumbled over the familiarity. "Why don't you come join us for breakfast?"
"Us? Uhm," Mac paused. "No offense intended, but this is a female thing."
Harriet smiled into the phone. This was unusual for the Colonel and Harriet didn't know what to make of it all. "I meant me and AJ. Bud's gone to Maryland for the weekend to visit Mikey."
Mac sighed softly. "Good. You sure you don't mind?"
"Of course not, Mac. You're always welcome here. We'll see you in about an hour then?"
"Right. See you. And Harriet?" Mac added.
"Yes?"
"Thanks."
"You're welcome."
* * *
Mac knocked on the door softly. "Anybody home?" she called, forcing a smile.
Harriet answered the door, wiping her soapy hands on a dish towel. "Hey, Mac," she said. On impulse, she stepped up and hugged Mac tightly, patting her back gently. "Come on in," Harriet said, opening the door widely. "AJ, Aunt Sarah's here!"
AJ came bounding out of his room and through the living room in a flurry of excitement. "Aunt Sarah!" he cried, attacking her legs and hugging Mac tightly.
"Hey, kiddo," Mac teased, kneeling down to hug AJ. "How's life below the belt?" she joked, referring to his height.
"Not bad. How can you breathe all the way up there?" AJ replied with a laugh.
"Practice." Mac turned to Harriet with a wink. "You know, you and Bud could've raised a pretty decent kid if Harm and I hadn't interfered. Instead, you got this Harm-clone-punk," she laughed.
Harriet smiled at her son and her friend. "Yeah, well, I think we'll keep him anyway. *If* he finishes cleaning his room before lunch."
AJ sighed. "The life of an eight year-old. Chores are *never* finished." He bent his head and stooped over, heading back to his room.
"Hey, Quasimodo, when you're done in there, I have a present for you," Mac called after him.
"Party on!" AJ cheered, sprinting to his room to shove everything in the closet.
"I'm checking the closet, Albert!" Harriet hollered.
"Mo-oooooooom. Don't call me Albert!" he yelled back. "And I'm gonna clean the da - -darn closet," he finished, correcting himself quickly.
Harriet muttered something under her breath about "incorrigible" and "just like your godfather." She turned to Mac with a chagrined smile. "We've been having some trouble with his language lately. He seems to think that because Uncle AJ says "damn", he can, too."
Mac shook her head, amazed. "He's only nine, Harriet. Boy, do they grow up fast nowadays."
Harriet nodded sympathetically. "Nine now is like thirteen when we were kids, Mac." She motioned to the kitchen table. "Talk to me while I finish the dishes?"
Mac headed into the kitchen and picked up a dishtowel. "I'll dry."
"Thanks. So what's wrong, Mac?" Harriet asked, scrubbing a plate.
Mac distractedly took a cup in her hands and began to dry it. "He told me last night that he was interested in someone else...while we were together..." she spoke slowly, as if by saying the words, she were making it real.
Harriet's sharp intake of air betrayed her feelings. "Harm?"
"Mmmhmm," Mac nodded. "I don't know who it is, but it doesn't really matter. The point is that he never loved me, Harriet. To him, it was always about being Harmony's dad."
Harriet shook her head. "No, Mac, I - I can't believe that. *Years* before Harmony was born, Bud and I were commenting on how much you two loved each other. It was obvious to anyone with half a brain."
"Not to me," Mac lowered her voice to a whiper. "And not to him. Why did it take Harmony's birth to bring us together if he always loved me?"
"Because you're two stubborn, independent, bullheaded military people, that's why," Harriet insisted. "He's been in love with you since he met you, Mac, and that's the damn truth."
"Mom, watch your language!"
"Can it, AJ!" Harriet cut him off. "This is grown-up stuff."
"Geez, talk about your double standards," AJ muttered to himself as he stacked books on his desk.
Harriet turned back to Mac. "Sorry. But come on, Mac, you have to know Harm wouldn't have stayed with you for so long if he didn't love you."
Mac sighed, slumping against the counter. "Harriet, he told me he didn't know how to be a lover...just a father. He says he had no example."
"That's true," Harriet pointed out. "He never got to see his father really be a husband to Trish, did he?"
"He had Frank," Mac said. "And how is a stepfather different from a father in that respect?"
"He's not, I guess." Harriet sighed softly. "Maybe it's an excuse - to cover up how scared he is?"
"Scared of what?" Mac rubbed her temples. Talking in circles was giving her a headache.
Staring intently at the plate in her hand, Harriet replied, "Scared that one day you'd drop the other shoe and leave him."
Mac's head snapped up. "Why?" was all she could manage.
"The same reason I still get a little nervous when Bud's around women like you," Harriet admitted. She glanced up to look Mac straight in the eye. "I'm always feeling in the back of my heart that he could do so much better than me. Maybe Harm, despite his pilot's ego, is scared that he's not good enough for you."
Mac couldn't speak for a long moment. When she did, it was barely above a whisper. "How could an alcoholic, abused, self-loathing creature like me do better than Harmon Rabb?"
Harriet took Mac's hand and squeezed it tightly. "Because he doesn't see what you see when he looks at you. He sees a self-assured, educated, intelligent, caring woman. That's what all your friends see. You're the only one who doesn't," she chided softly.
Mac swallowed around the lump in her throat. "Thank you," she murmured. "I guess now it doesn't matter why everything happened the way it did. It's over, I need to just move on."
"That's probably best,"
Harriet agreed quietly. "If it's meant to be, you two will find your
way back to each other."
* * *
Mac tucked her legs up under her, leaning on the arm of the couch. She rested her head in her hand, watching AJ intently as he performed a magic trick for Harriet and her.
When the stuffed bunny appeared from the hat, they both "Oooooh"ed appropriately and clapped.
"Thank you, thank you," AJ bowed. "Hey, Aunt Sarah, was I imagining things, or did you say you have a present for me?"
"AJ, sweetie, the word of the week is: subtlety," Mac grinned. "After you open your present, which is in my bag, go look it up in the dictionary."
AJ was already rifling around in Mac's bag. A shrill ringing emenated from the bag as he did. "I didn't do it!" he raised his hands in surrender.
Mac grinned. "Toss me my cell phone, AJ?"
AJ gently underhanded the phone to Mac and went back to digging in her bag. "Woohoo!" he cheered, pulling out the small model of a Marine tank. "This'll look great next to my Tomcat!" AJ ran over to Mac and hugged her tightly. "Thanks, Aunt Sarah."
Mac didn't hear AJ's comment; her was attention focused on the call. "Colonel Mackenzie."
"Mac?" Harm's voice crackled over the line.
"Harm, what's wrong?" she asked, mother's instinct kicking in.
"Harmony's sick. Don't worry, it's not bad, I think it's just the flu. But she's been asking for you off and on all night, and I think you'd better just come get her." His voice was tired and defeated.
"I'll be there as soon as I can." Mac hung up the cell phone, turning a regretful smile on Harriet and AJ. "I hate to leave, but Harmony's sick," she said, by way of explanation.
Harriet walked Mac over to the door. "It's okay, I understand. Tell her I hope she feels better. You'll both come visit soon?" she asked with a smile.
"Count on it." Mac waved to AJ, who was studiously arranging the pieces of his new model on the coffee table. "Catch you later!"
"Only if I can't outrun you!" AJ waved back.
Mac climbed into her car with a little smile. As she headed out to Harm's, she flipped on the radio.
After a few commercials, the country station's motto began to play, then the DJ spoke. "Taking a break from our little love-fest with Trisha Yearwood's music, here's a hit from her opening act on her current tour, The Kinleys. Remember, folks, that concert is March twenty-third, eight pm, at the MCI Center in downtown DC. Tickets are on sale now through Ticketmaster."
Mac reached over to change the station, but the opening bars of the song caught her attention.
"There
ain't no easy way to start this conversation. So I'll just say what's on my
mind.
Once our hearts both shared a common destination: to love until the end of
time." As with almost every sad song lately, Mac wondered if the
songwriters were reading her mind.
"Lately
we've been drifting further from each other, and someone's got to take the
wheel.
And I won't wait until it's too late to recover. So let me tell you how I
feel." *I wish it were that easy, Harm. If I just told you I missed you,
maybe you'd say it back and we'd be okay again. But were we *ever* okay
to begin with?*
"I'll do anything if it'll bring our hearts together. I'll stand and fight or get down on my knees. If we can fix what's wrong and just go on in love forever. Baby I'll be begging, please." Mac sighed inwardly. *If I thought it would do any good, I'd beg, plead, fight, cry, whatever. But it won't.*
"I'm strong enough to handle any situation, but honey true love has no pride. So I can say without a moment's hesitation, before I'll let you say goodbye, I'll do anything if it'll bring our hearts together. I'll stand and fight or get down on my knees. If we can fix what's wrong and just go on in love forever. Baby I'll be begging, please." Mac tried to concentrate on the road as her mind spun. *He is the only thing I've ever cared about this much. Maybe I didn't tell him enough,* she started thinking. *Maybe if I'd been a little more receptive, he would've felt more comfortable. Maybe I was as cold as he says.*
"Boy
you know your love's my one true weakness. When it comes to you I'm
helpless.
I'll do anything if it'll bring our hearts together. I'll stand and fight
or get down on my knees. If we can fix what's wrong and just go on in
love forever. Baby I'll be begging, please." Mac was too stunned to
cry. She just sat in front of Harm's apartment, letting the engine idle
until the song was over.
As she walked up the stairs to his apartment, Mac contemplated the thoughts that the song had brought to mind. She knocked on his door, her mind coming back to the moment and beginning to worry about Harmony.
Harm answered the door quickly,
putting a finger to his lips. "Be quiet," he whispered.
"She's asleep."
* * *
Mac stared at Harm for a moment. "Harmony's asleep? You lied to me," she accused immediately.
"No!" Harm whispered. "She just fell asleep about ten minutes ago. I would've called, but I figured you were already on your way, and she wanted to see you." Harm shrugged, gesturing to the inside of the apartment. "Come in?"
Mac accepted grudgingly. "I'll just wake her up, and - "
"This is the first time she's slept in nearly twenty-four hours, I don't think you should, just yet," Harm protested softly.
"Fine. I'll wait in the car." She turned to go.
"Mac, wait!" Harm said softly, touching her sleeve. "Please let me explain?"
With a deep sigh, and against her better judgement, Mac gave in. She was tired of fighting. "Fine," she said as she sank onto the couch, "but I'm only waiting an hour or so. Then I have to go, and she can damn well sleep in the car."
"Fair enough," Harm agreed, closing the door behind Mac. "Can I get you something to drink?"
"Diet Pepsi, please, and some aspirin if you have it?" Mac said quietly.
"Sure." Harm handed her the soda and ducked into his bedroom to grab the aspirin. He handed Mac two little pills.
"Thanks," she murmured, swallowing the aspirin gratefully.
Harm down in a chair across from Mac and silently fiddled with the aspirin bottle.
"So spill, sailor." She spoke as if his explanation would mean nothing to her.
Harm looked up at her. "I miss you, Mac. I fucked up, I know it. But I want another chance. I'm ... I'm begging you," he tripped over the word.
Mac was frightened, to say the least. "Harm, I don't know if I can."
"I know, it's not going to be easy. Nothing between us ever is. But I'm not asking you to do anything. I'll do all the work, it was me who needed to change in the first place," Harm rushed to get it all out before he lost his nerve. "Please?"
Mac thought about the song she'd just heard and the pain she'd felt since leaving him. "I don't know," was all she could manage. What Mac wanted to do was curl up in his lap and feel his strong arms around her once more, but she knew she shouldn't.
"Mac, don't you think you owe me a second chance, after you pushed me away?"
"*I* pushed *you* away?" Mac was stunned. "I loved you, you heartless bastard. You're the one who was in love with someone else!" She stood to leave.
"I never loved her," Harm muttered.
"You just wanted to fuck her?" Mac spat the words at him.
"No!" Harm stared at her. "Never. I just - -I thought - -I don't know," he buried his head in his hands. "I guess I thought you were too good for me and I was trying to get you to see it." His whisper was barely audible. "I'm so sorry. I can't believe I treated you like that. I was supposed to be the one who was different, the one who gave you what you deserved. Instead, I hurt you. God, I'm sorry." Harm turned his head so Mac wouldn't see his tears.
"Stop kicking yourself, I know I didn't help," Mac said grudgingly.
"So you'll give me another chance?" Harm looked up at Mac, hopefully.
Mac simply shook her head.
"Why not?"
"It hurt too much before, Harm. I love you too much to ever leave you again, and I love myself too much to ever stay in that kind of situation again. Not to mention the hurt it would cause our daughter." Mac couldn't stop herself from calling Harmony his child. Biologically or not, the bond was there, she had to admit. "I can't go back just to have it fall apart on me again."
"Let me prove that it won't, Mac. Let me court you."
"Huh?" was Mac's genius reply.
Standing, Harm walked over to Mac and took her hand. Mac didn't pull away, at least for the moment. "Let me treat you the way I should've before. Let me prove to you that it won't be the same this time, that I've changed."
"You don't deserve a second chance," Mac protested, even as she stared at his tender hand on hers.
"I know. Give me one anyway," Harm pleaded softly.
"Why should I?"
"Because you're my soulmate and I feel incomplete without you. Because I'm miserable and I think you are, too. Because you're a better person than I am." Harm reached out slowly, touching Mac's chin. He raised her eyes to meet his. "Because you love me?" he guessed.
"Harm, I miss you something fierce," Mac admitted. "But I'm hurting too much right now. Thank you for everything you said today - apology accepted. But I need some time alone." *Are you nuts?* Mac thought. *This is what you've wanted all along, and now that he's asking, you're turning him down?* The other side of her heart replied, *But Harriet's right. If it's meant to be, he won't give up, and it will happen.*
Harm caressed her hand gently before letting it go. "Okay, I accept that. You'll let me know when you're ready?"
"I will," she promised. "We'd better get going, it's been almost an hour," Mac added softly.
"Okay, I'll pack up her bag," Harm said, moving toward Harmony's bedroom.
"Hey, Flyboy?" Mac said with a small smile.
"Yeah?" Harm turned, and every inch of him smiled at the sound of his nickname.
"I'm sorry, too," Mac said, barely audible.
"Thanks," Harm said and
turned back, going into the bedroom.
* * *
Mac touched Harmony's forehead gently. She was a little warm, but not hot enough for her mother really to worry. Mac smiled at her sleeping daughter, curled up on the passenger seat. She reached over and turned the radio on, keeping it low so as not to disturb Harmony. Slipping her hand beneath Harmony's seat, she pulled out the compact disc and slid it into the player. Hitting "play", Mac sat back and tapped her fingers on the wheel.
The familiar music flowed through the car.
"Looking back on the memory of the dance we shared 'neath the stars above. For a moment all the world was right. How could I have known that you'd ever say goodbye?" Mac sang along softly, her alto keeping time with the beat.
"And now I'm glad I didn't know the way it all would end, the way it all would go. Our lives are better left to chance. I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance." A tiny tear traced its way down Mac's cheek.
"Holding you I held everything. For a moment wasn't I the king? But if I'd only known how the king would fall. Hey who's to say? You know I might have changed it all." Mac's voice faltered. *I don't know,* she thought. *I might've given up those three years not to have felt the way I did when he told me there was someone else.*
"And now I'm glad I didn't know the way it all would end, the way it all would go. Our lives are better left to chance. I could have missed the pain but I'd have had to miss the dance." *I wouldn't regret a second of what we shared,* Mac thought as the song continued, *if only we were still friends. I miss his hugs, his calm way of dealing with everything. The security I felt in his presence. I feel like he's gone.*
"Yes my life is better left
to chance. I could have missed the pain but I'd have had to miss the
dance."
* * *
Mac awoke early the next morning, calm and refreshed. The conversation with Harm and ensuing trip down memory lane made her feel that the situation might have a better outcome than she originally thought. "Maybe this will all work out," Mac said to herself as she twisted the knob on the shower. "Maybe we'll actually be okay, someday." She allowed herself the momentary smile.
"Mommy, who are you talking to?" Harmony asked as she peeked through the crack in the door.
"You're supposed to knock," Mac reminded her gently. "And I was talking to myself."
"Oh. Did you get everything worked out?" she asked quietly.
Mac chuckled softly. "Yes," she said, rinsing the shampoo out of her short hair. "Everything's fine."
"Are you and Daddy getting back together?" Harmony asked, finally coming into the bathroom and plopping down on the rug.
"Whatever made you ask that?" Mac asked, suspiciously.
"Well, he said you were coming over to his house last night and you were going to talk to him. And I don't remember any screaming last night, so I guess you guys weren't fighting," Harmony finished.
"Good lord, child, you're smarter than any kid needs to be," Mac muttered from behind the shower curtain.
"Well, are we moving back in with Daddy?" Harmony pressed for an answer, playing with the toe of her Little Mermaid slipper.
"No. Daddy and I are friends, but that's *all*." Mac didn't want to confuse Harmony with "maybe"s and "if"s and "someday"s. "Go get dressed. Emily's party is this afternoon, and you don't want to be late, do you?" Mac asked as she stepped out of the shower and wrapped herself in a towel.
"No, ma'am!" Harmony jumped up and ran out of the room.
Mac headed into her bedroom,
staring at the contents of her closet. She quickly chose a peach sweater
and black sweatpants, and slid her feet into her sneakers. Tying the bows
quickly, Mac made her way to the kitchen and popped a waffle in the toaster for
Harmony, mulling the little girl's comment about her mother and Harm the entire
way.
* * *
1230
hours
26 July 2007
Quantico, Virginia
Marine Corps Base Headquarters
"Colonel Mackenzie? Hers is the second door on the left, sir," the female Marine replied, snapping a salute.
"Thank you, Sergeant," Harm said, saluting. He strode down the hallway, stopping at the unmarked door. He knocked softly.
"Enter," Mac called, expecting her two o'clock appointment. She looked up and was startled to see Harm. "Harm, what are you doing here?"
"Thought I'd surprise you. Are you busy?" he asked.
"I have a few minutes until my next appointment," Mac said with a smile. She stood and walked over to Harm, leaning around him to shut the office door. "What's that?" she asked, peering behind his back.
"For you," Harm brandished the small bouquet. "Gardenias."
Mac's smile widened. "My favorite," she murmured. "You remembered."
"I remember every word you say, Mac," Harm said with a flyboy grin.
Mac's insides melted. "Thanks," she said simply, tucking the flowers into the vase on her desk.
"I'd love to take you to lunch if you're available," Harm grinned, leaning back against the door and tucking his hands in his pockets.
"I am, and I'd love to go," Mac smiled as a knock sounded on the door. "Just let me take care of this and I'll meet you in the lobby."
"Sounds good."
Harm opened the door and strode out of the office as Mac tried desperately not
to stare at his retreating backside. "Come in, Ms.
Weeks." She smiled at the recruit. "I hear you're having
a little trouble with the 5K runs?"
* * *
Harm held out Mac's chair as she sat down with a soft sigh. "Wow, it's been a long morning. I'd almost forgotten what boot camp was like until I had to relive it through the eyes of these girls."
Nodding sympathetically, Harm opened his menu. "I understand. Seeing Bud's brother going through basic training reminded me what it was like." He shuddered dramatically. "You couldn't pay me to go through it again."
Mac's eyes shone. "Oh, I'd do it again in a heartbeat, if they'd let me. Those were the most exhilirating thirteen weeks of my life!"
Harm laughed, folding his menu and placing it beside his water glass. "You would, jarhead. You've always been a glutton for punishment."
"You don't miss getting up at oh five thirty, running ten miles, chugging a gallon of water and doing it all again at thirteen hundred?" Mac asked incredulously, a touch of sarcasm coating her voice.
"Not a *bit*," Harm replied, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "I do miss the hours and hours of flight training. Getting up at oh five thirty and being too nervous to eat, which was a good thing since if you ate, you chanced ... ah, shall we say, returning it, when you hit G-forces."
Mac chuckled. "You actually enjoyed being pushed back into the seat of the airplane by a thousand pounds of gravity, didn't you?"
"God, yes!" Harm enthused. "No feeling like it in the world," his blue eyes sparkled.
The rest of the meal passed in pleasant conversation, as they traded jokes, barbs and even the occassional compliment.
After the waiter poured their coffee and had gone, Harm looked at Mac, his face falling into a serious expression. "Mac," he began softly. "Are we okay now?" Harm fiddled with his napkin as he waited for her answer.
"Yeah, I think we are," Mac said softly. "We're definitely okay," she added more firmly. Impulsively, Mac reached across the table and touched Harm's hand tenderly. "Why?"
"Just wondering," Harm smiled gratefully.
"Harm." Mac grinned at him. "You've been amazing the past five months. I couldn't ask for a better friend, or boyfriend," she added softly, praying that her heart would have the courage to back up her mouth. "I'm still nervous about all of this, but if things keep going the way they've been going, I think we'll be fine. Does that answer your 'wondering'?" Mac asked gently.
"Perfectly," Harm
smiled.
* * *
0900
hours
12 October 2007
Quantico, Virginia
Marine Corps Base Headquarters
Mac picked up the ringing phone with a mental sigh. It had been a long morning already, she doubted this day could get worse.
"Colonel Mackenzie," she said crisply. "Yes, that's correct. Uh huh." With a silent gasp, Mac's mouth fell open. Her face went ghost-white. "He is? Yes, I understand. Thank you for calling," Mac managed to get out. She hung up the phone, staring at the receiver, willing the call to be a dream. *He's gone.*
Mac lifted the receiver, her mind numb and barely comprehending. "It's me," she said softly. After explaining the phone call she'd received, Mac took a deep breath. "Uh huh. Can you meet me at JAG?"
"Of course. See you
there."
* * *
Mac stood next to her car, and watched Harm pull into the parking lot. He walked toward her, his face pale and drawn. Harm still hadn't allowed himself to fully comprehend the impact of the morning's events. He couldn't, until he knew everything was in order.
"Ready?" he asked softly, holding his hand out to Mac.
"I guess," she said, a single tear threatening to spill down her face.
They entered the building together, each providing a solid base of comfort for the other. Mac saw Harriet immediately and, squeezing Harm's hand quickly, broke away from him to speak to the Lieutenant. "Harriet," she began softly, "can you please get everyone together? We have an announcement."
"Yes, ma'am." Harriet spread word quickly for everyone to gather immediately and silently in the bullpen. Within moments, the only one missing from the center of JAG Ops was the Admiral himself.
Harm took a deep breath as Mac slid up to him and took his hand in hers. "I have some terrible news. The Colonel and I were informed this morning that during a CIA operation in the Gulf of Mexico, Admiral AJ Chegwidden," Harm choked on his name and couldn't speak. His eyes implored Mac to finish.
"The Admiral was killed," Mac finished simply, the tears coursing down her cheeks unabashedly now.
Harriet gasped, sinking into a nearby chair. Bud placed his hands on his wife's shoulders, squeezing them as much for his own reassurance as for Harriet's.
Galindez stood ramrod straight, staring ahead. But one tear in the corner of his right eye divulged the pain he felt at the news.
Tiner turned and ran out of the room and Mac heard the men's room door slam open. "Gunny, go see if he's okay?" she asked softly, inclining her head towards the spot Tiner had vacated.
"Yes, ma'am," Galindez said in a hushed voice, turning and striding after Tiner.
Harm took a deep breath and found his voice. "I know this is shocking news, and it's going to be hard to deal with, for all of us. But every one of you knows how much the service and JAG means - meant, to him," Harm's voice faltered slightly. "And I think he'd want us to go on as if nothing had happened, as much as possible."
Harriet nodded agreement. Even as she wiped away the tears on her cheeks, they were replaced by a fresh watershed. "What about the funeral?" she asked, organizing even in her grief.
"I'm sure Clayton already called Francesca," Harm noted softly. "But I'm going to call her in a few minutes just in case, and see what she wants to do about a wake. The funeral and burial, of course, will be in Arlington." Harm took slight comfort in the fact that his mentor and subsitute father would be buried in death alongside the heroes he strode beside in life.
"Sir, what can we do?" Bud asked, wiping a tear away from his own cheek.
"Nothing right now, Bud, just take care of each other," he nodded around the office, to Lieutenant Singer and the others. "Keep this office a family. The family he started, whether he knew it or not."
"Yessir," Bud replied, his heart breaking. "If you have a moment before you call the Admiral's daughter, I can think of a few other people who need to be notified, too, sir."
Harm nodded. "Come into his office, Bud. We need his rolodex for Francesca's number." Harm couldn't bring himself to say AJ's name.
Bud squeezed Harriet's hand then followed Harm into AJ's office. Harm sat down in the big leather chair, biting back the tears. "Okay, who besides Francesca do I need to call?"
Bud listed a few names, ticking each one off on his fingers.
Harm nodded, writing each name down on a slip of paper. "This is going to kill them, Bud. He was like a father to all of us," Harm said, barely loud enough for Bud to hear.
"I know, sir. We're all going to miss him." Bud tried to comfort his friend the best way he knew how. "But I think you're right. The best testimonial is to continue on however we can and do the best job we can under the circumstances. The Admiral wouldn't want his death mourned, but rather, he'd want his life celebrated. Don't you think, sir?"
Harm nodded, a single tear falling
off his cheek to stain the page below.
* * *
After the phone calls were done, Harm stood in the doorway to AJ's office. Mac came up silently behind him and placed a hand on his back. "Hey, sailor," she said quietly. "You okay?" It was an unnecessary question. Mac knew that losing AJ was killing Harm, and that, of course, he wasn't 'okay'. But she didn't know how else to ask if he needed to scream, cry, punch something or curl up in a little ball and try to forget.
Harm didn't reply at first, and when he did, it didn't seem to make sense to Mac. "Look at this office, Mac. Not one single photo, not one letter of commendation. Nothing. It's like AJ was never here. There is nothing in this office that someone could point to and say, "Look. Admiral AJ Chegwidden did that." Not a damn thing." Harm finished quietly, sadness filling his voice.
Mac tapped his shoulder and Harm turned. Mac shifted slightly and pointed discreetly at the quietly buzzing bullpen. "He did *that*, Harm. He kept this office running smoothly. He kept us out of trouble," she smiled slightly at the memories. "He kept us together, he kept all of us sane and made every single person here feel like they were vital to the military, to the country, to JAG and to him. Isn't that what counts? Not some paper hanging on a wall or a picture in a frame. This," Mac swept her hand to indicated Harriet, Bud, Galindez, Tiner and the rest. "This is AJ's living legacy."
Harm smiled through his tears. "You're right. Thank you."
"Anytime," Mac said
softly. She knew that at some point, the grief would overwhelm her and
she'd need to lean on Harm, but until then, he needed her to be strong.
* * *
15
October 2007
Barton's Funeral Home
McLean, Virginia
Mac stood at attention as the casket was loaded into the hearse. The American flag draped across the top was crisp and fresh enough to make even AJ proud. Harm had asked her to accompany the casket to the church for the service. He said he needed some time by himself to get his thoughts in order.
Mac climbed into her Jeep and smiled wearily at Harmony. Without a word, they followed the hearse through the back streets of Washington, towards the church. Mac left Harmony with Harriet and made sure the casket was set properly in front of the altar, then sat down in the front pew to await Harm's arrival.
Harm pulled up to the church, his uniform neat and tidy. His JAG pin and gold wings shone gleaming in the sun. This was one time he would not let his CO down. With chin held high, Harm entered the vestibule, glancing around for Mac.
She stood and was by his side momentarily. "Everything's ready," she whispered. "People should be arriving any moment."
"Thanks, Mac." Harm took her hand in his. "I appreciate all the help."
"Don't worry, Harm. I loved him, too," Mac reminded him.
"I know," Harm amended. "I'm just really glad you're here."
"Let's sit, okay?" Mac whispered, squeezing his hand.
"Okay." Harm's mind was still numb.
Fifteen minutes later, the altar boys were setting up the altar, the priest was arranging his papers and the large church was packed full. It seemed as if everyone the Admiral had ever met, or even spoken to, had come to pay his or her respects. Harm craned his neck, peering around the church.
Lieutenant Meg Austin sat in the second row, directly behind Harm. When he turned his head, a watery smile played on her lips. "How are you?" she asked gently.
"I'm all right," Harm lied. "You?"
"Surviving. I can't believe he's gone, Harm," Meg replied, dabbing her eyes with a tissue.
"I know, Meg. None of us can." Harm patted her arm reassuringly as his eye was caught by another familiar face. He turned to Mac. "Excuse me for a sec, I need to talk to someone." Striding across the church quickly, Harm walked up next to Captain Mic Brumby. "Mic," he said quietly. "I'm glad you're here. I know it would mean a lot to AJ."
"Nothing could've stopped me from coming, mate," Mic said, his eyes red. It was obvious he'd been crying on the plane ride from Australia.
"I'm glad I didn't," Harm said, extending his hand.
Mic shook it slowly. "You're too big a man to be petty at a time like this, Rabb. Bygones and all that, right? This is the Admiral's day," he said, empathy evident in his voice.
Harm nodded, moving off with a quiet, "Thank you."
"Carolyn," he whispered, placing a gentle hand on the Commander's shoulder. "It's good to see you. I wish it could've been under better circumstances." Outwardly, Harm was the picture of the strong Naval aviator. Inside, he was falling apart.
"Harm," Carolyn whispered. "He's gone, isn't he?" she said as she started to cry.
"But never forgotten," Harm supplied, wrapping his arms around Commander Imes. "It's okay."
Carolyn hugged him gently, then released him with a sympathetic smile. "He was so proud of you, you know."
Harm half-smiled. "Thanks."
"I mean it," Carolyn insisted. "He was as proud of you as he was of Francesca. I don't think he could've been prouder if you'd been his own son."
At the mention of AJ's daughter, Harm's head swiveled of its own accord. He spotted the Italian woman, and turned back to Carolyn briefly. "Thank you. That means a lot to me. I'll see you later, all right?" Carolyn nodded silently, and Harm headed off.
Before Harm could reach Francesca, the priest intercepted him. "Are we ready to begin?" he asked softly. Harm nodded. "Yes, sir." He sat back down beside Mac, taking her hand in his and holding on for dear life.
"Friends and family," the priest began somberly. "We are here today to mourn the passing of Admiral AJ Chegwidden. But more than that, we're here to celebrate his life. I was not personally acquainted with the Admiral, so at his daughter Francesca's request, I'll open this up to whomever would like to speak."
"If I may?" Harm looked over at Francesca, who nodded with a grateful half-smile.
Harm began slowly, unsure of exactly what he wanted to say, but knowing that he had to say it, regardless. "As most of you know, Admiral Chegwidden was an important part of my life. I'm sure he was to all of you, too, or you wouldn't be here." Harm sighed softly. This was not going well. "I'm not all too sure of what I want to say, just that I need to make it known how I felt about AJ. He was one of the most disciplined and competent people I know, and certainly the sharpest CO I've ever served under."
There was a murmur of agreement from the crowd, and Lieutenant Commander Mattoni nodded along from the third pew.
"AJ was also an inspiration as a human being. Despite the fact that he tried to hide it, he had a wonderful sense of the irreverent and humorous." Harm smiled wanly. "AJ was a compassionate human being, capable of forgiving, over and over, no matter how bad you screwed up."
"Amen," Rear Admiral Alison Krennick said to herself.
Harm took a deep breath. "Without a doubt, AJ was the most important influence in most of our lives," he gestured to the gathering. "I know that for the last ten years, AJ was like a father to me. He was always there to lend an ear when I needed someone to listen." A tear trekked unnoticed down Harm's cheek. "He supported me when I wanted to go back to flying, and he welcomed me back to JAG with open arms again." Harm closed his eyes for a moment, picturing the last time he'd seen the Admiral. When he spoke again, it was barely audible. "Most importantly, he loved me. Even if he never said it, I knew he did. He was more than a commanding officer, more than a mentor, more than a friend. He was family." Harm broke down, and started to cry quietly.
Mac was up at the podium before anyone could blink. Wrapping an arm around Harm's waist, she led him back to their seats, as he clung to her hand like a lifeline.
When Harm was seated, Mac stood and went back up to the podium. Tears were in her eyes as she began to speak. "I can only echo what Harm said so eloquently. It's good to see everyone here. I know AJ would like to know that he was so well-respected." Mac took a deep breath, dreading her duties. "Francesca has asked me to do this next part for her. After her father's death, Francesca received a letter Express Air Mail. AJ knew the risks in undertaking his last mission and he wrote her a long letter before he left. In it, the Admiral requested a few things." Mac opened the paper in her hands, ignoring the shaking as she read it aloud. "I just want a simple service, nothing fancy. You know me, I've never been the Cadillac kind. And, if you go in my office, in the bottom drawer of my desk, you'll find a casette tape. Enclosed is a little preface, read it before you play the tape at my funeral."
Mac took the tape out of her blazer pocket and inserted it into the small tape player the priest had provided. She looked back down at the paper, which had remained sealed until now. She cracked the seal and began to read again. "This is for all those I've commanded over the years. You were good and loyal junior officers, and each and every one of you is special to me. You all do the military proud. Suck it up and carry on, that's an order." Mac paused, hearing AJ's voice in her ears as she started to cry silently. She cleared her throat and continued. "But of all the people under my command, I've never met such dedicated people as I have the last ten years. Mac and Harm, Bud and Harriet, this one's for you."
Harriet glanced up teary-eyed as she heard her name. Bud squeezed her hand tightly, wondering what the Admiral had up his sleeve, posthumously.
Mac hit the button and the song began to play. As Patsy Cline began to sing sweetly, Mac knew exactly which song it was. She went and sat beside Harm, holding his hands in hers.
"Imagine me, still loving you, after all you put me through. Well, I can't help it. I just do. Imagine that."
A soft chuckle escaped Mac's throat despite the sadness in her heart. "Harm," she leaned over and whispered. "The man knows us too well."
"And, that's not the half. Imagine this, if you can. I've stood more, more than I should stand. But I'd still take you back again."
"He took you both back twice," Bud commented softly from behind Harm and Mac. "And when Harriet came off of reserves, he did the same for her," he said, patting his wife's knee.
"Imagine that. Ain't that a laugh? Can you believe I'd swallow my pride? Well, yes, yes I guess you can."
Harm began to smile despite himself. "How many times did he have to do that with us?" he asked the other three. "We were pretty rough on him."
"'Cause you know you've always had my foolish heart, right in the palm of your hand. Oh, for what it's worth to you, it just don't matter what you might do. 'Cause I'm still waitin' and lovin' you."
Harm sighed softly. "He did love us as much as we loved him, didn't he, Mac?" Mac nodded silently, clutching Harm's hands.
"Imagine that. Ain't that a laugh? So for what it's worth to you, it just don't matter what you might do. 'Cause I'd still be waitin' and lovin' you. Imagine that. Ain't that a laugh?"
Harm stood with a supreme effort
and walked to the podium. He stood silently for a moment, composing
himself. When he looked up and out at the crowd, he began to laugh
softly. "That's AJ for you." The crowd chuckled a soft
echo of Harm's sentiment. Harm smiled softly. "When times get
tough, and your heart is breaking," Harm said, in an uncharacteristically open
moment, "just remember the SEAL motto that AJ followed all his life.
The only easy day was yesterday. Thank you all for coming," Harm
said softly, walking back to Mac's side.
* * *
21
October 2007
Harm's Apartment
Washington, DC
A beautiful Saturday morning shone outside. The birds were singing and the sun was shining. But Harmon Rabb, Jr. lay curled on his bed, strong arms wrapped around a pillow. His body was exhausted but his mind refused to sleep. Every time he closed his eyes, Harm saw AJ: AJ yelling at him for shooting up the courtroom, AJ welcoming him back to JAG, AJ introducing him to Mac. Mac. He wondered briefly how Mac was holding up. She'd seemed so in control at the funeral, and the wake afterwards. He didn't think he was going to be able to get through seeing everyone and making idle chatter, but her strong hand on his arm had made him stronger. And she'd been an angel in disguise, answering questions, making apologies for him, introducing strangers...until Francesca brought out the box of AJ's effects.
After all the guests had left, Mac began clearing the food. She was stacking dishes in the kitchen when Harriet came in behind her, carrying a platter. "Mac, Francesca wants us in the living room, when we're done," she said softly. Mac wiped her hands on a towel and nodded silently, heading out to the living room.
When the young woman began handing each of them the small tokens that AJ had left them, the floodgates opened.
Bud stared uncomprehending at the UCMJ handbook, bound in leather. He opened the cover to find a faded inscription:
"To
AJ,
Good Luck As JAG.
Admiral Weston. May 3rd, 1996."
A second dedication had been added, in fresh black ink, just below the first.
"To
Bud,
I'm proud of you, son. Good work.
Admiral Chegwidden. March 2nd, 1999."
It was dated the day Bud had passed the bar exam. AJ had just never found the right time to give it to him.
"It's beautiful," Mac murmured as she turned the music box around in her hands.
"It is Italian," Francesca said softly. "My father bought it for my mother when they were courting. It was an antique even then."
Mac glanced up to smile gently at the other woman. "Thank you. I know you must've wanted this for yourself."
"No, Sarah, this was from Pappa to you. It was not meant to be any other way. He left a note," Francesca said as she handed the small envelope to her. Mac opened it carefully and read it aloud, her soft alto shaking.
"Mac,
You've been as much a daughter to me as my own dear Francesca. I'm sorry if I wasn't able to show it as much as you needed, but I did care for you, very much. I hope you know that.
The design of this music box was traditionally a gift from an Italian nobleman to his eldest daughter, on the day of her marriage. Since I've obviously gone before you were married again, I want you to have it now. I know *someone* ("someone" was underline three times) will appreciate the love and strength in your heart one day. And if he doesn't, tell Rabb I'll haunt him.
Semper Fi, Marine.
AJ."
Mac finally found her breath and sighed softly. "Oh, AJ." She looked up at Harm with half a grin. "I'm telling you, the man can reach out from beyond the grave to kick your six, you better watch it."
"Yes, ma'am," Harm said softly, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.
Francesca turned to Harriet. "This has your name on it, but no note. I hope you will not need an explanation, as I have none."
Harriet took the small box and opened it slowly. "Oh!" she whispered, stunned. The light reflected off the medal. "His Medal of Honor. Oh, Bud, look," Harriet turned the velvet case towards her husband. "It's not for me, it's for little AJ," she explained to the others. "He was admiring it on the Admiral's bookcase the last time he visited the office. AJ asked what it was and the Admiral must've spent a good hour telling him the history behind the Medal of Honor and the story about how he got his own. Then AJ asked the Admiral how he could get his own Medal, and the Admiral said there were two ways: AJ could earn it in the military, or he could wait until he turned 18, and then he could have the Admiral's. You should've seen that boy's face light up," Harriet said, wiping away her tears. They fell onto lips curving into a smile at the recollection. "Little AJ adored that man."
"We all did, Harriet," Mac said softly.
"And these, Captain, are for you," Francesca said quietly, handing Harm a small package. Harm sat down on a nearby chair and opened the first box. "His Purple Heart," Harm said, running his fingers over the ribbon. "He got this in Vietnam, around the same time my dad disappeared. He told me that story once." Shaking his head to clear the fog, Harm opened the second box and sighed softly. "Mac..."
Mac peered over his shoulder and added her own murmur. She glanced up at Bud and Harriet. "His JAG pins. He wasn't buried with them?" she looked at Francesca.
Francesca shook her head. "It appears not. I was not in charge of all the preparations. My cousin Paige is a doctor, so I let her take care of them. I was told Pappa's body was not in any shape to be viewed," she choked.
Harm touched the pins delicately, as if afraid he would be burned. He lifted them up out of the box and gasped. Mac furrowed her brow in disbelief at what was underneath. "Harm, those are his Admiral's rank pins," she said quietly. "I wonder why..."
Francesca pulled an envelope out of the bottom of the box she was holding. "I am sorry, Harm, this is yours. I just found it."
Harm opened the letter and read it quickly. When he looked up at Mac, his eyes were shining with tears of gratitude. "He granted me an administrative override. I'm the JAG."
Mac smiled silently, tears in her eyes, too, as she touched Harm's shoulder tenderly.
Harriet summed up all their silent
thoughts as she glanced skyward. "We'll miss you, AJ. Thank
you for being."
* * *
1130
hours
23 October 2007
JAG Headquarters
Falls Church, Virginia
Harm's phone trilled and he picked it up on the second ring. "Rabb." There was a long pause as he listened to the voice on the other end. "Yes, ma'am. We'll be there. Thank you." He disconnected the line and called Mac's office. "Mac, I'm coming to pick you up. I'll be there in fifteen minutes." He paused as Mac questioned him. "Paige Chegwidden wants to see us in Georgetown."
"Paige?" Mac said, frowning. "I thought we settled everything at the wake."
"She says it's important that we meet her as soon as possible. She says she has information regarding AJ's death, but couldn't discuss it over the phone."
"Sounds ominous," Mac noted. "I'll see you in fifteen." Click.
Harm tossed Bud the keys to his office on his way out the door. "You're in charge, Roberts. Give 'em hell."
Bud missed the keys and they
clattered to the floor. "Yessir!" he said as he scrambled to
retrieve them.
* * *
Harm and Mac went over the possibilities in the car on the way to Georgetown, but neither could think of what Paige might've discovered.
"When Clayton Webb's involved, you never know what the truth is," Harm reminded her.
"That's affirmative." Mac sighed softly. "I was just starting to be okay. You know, not thinking about AJ every few minutes. I'd started to put it behind me and go on. And now this."
Harm nodded, lacing his fingers through hers and holding tight. "Me, too. But if there's new information, I want to have it." Mac remained silent, and Harm seemed to read her thoughts. "It's not going to be like my dad, Mac. I promise."
"I know. I just worry, that's all."
"No reason to," Harm assured her as they parked in visitor's parking and headed into the hospital. As the pair entered the lobby, they saw Paige across the room, gesturing frantically to a man in a Navy uniform. Mac saw the terrified and angry look on Paige Chegwidden's face and took off across the lobby, Harm on her heels.
Mac slammed to a stop next to Paige. "Is there a problem?" she asked the woman.
"No, no problem," Paige said shakily. "This kind Commander was just explaining that I should keep my nose out of Navy business."
Harm placed a strong hand on the Commander's shoulder. "Name, rank and assignment, sailor."
The 'Commander' turned to face Harm and the JAG's face transformed from congenial to downright menacing. "You," he glared. "What the hell business do you have in the Admiral's death?"
Gayle Osborne didn't reply, simply
pulled a sunflower seed out of his pocket and started to chew silently.
* * *
Harm
sighed softly, as if defeated. He lowered his hand from Osborne's
shoulder and glanced at Mac. She nodded imperceptibly. In a flash,
Harm's hand was in the air and connected with Osborne's chest. He slammed
the CIA agent up against the
nearest wall and pressed his face close to Osborne's. "Tell me what
you know or so help me god I'll kill you and enjoy the hell out of it,"
Harm growled.
Osborne shrugged, turning his face away from Harm's. "All I know is that this little lady," he nodded toward Paige, "is going to get herself in a lot of trouble if she doesn't watch where she steps."
"Don't you *dare* threaten her, Osborne," Mac stepped closer to him, raising a fist. "Or Rabb'll have to get in line to kick your ass."
Paige stood behind Mac and Harm, hands on hips. "Tell them what you told me, *Commander*," she mocked. "About my uncle."
Osborne shrugged again. "He wouldn't want you poking around."
"No!" Paige exclaimed. "That's just it. You didn't say he *wouldn't* want me poking around, you said he *didn't* want me poking around!"
Harm's head swiveled, his eyes wide. "What?"
Paige nodded. "Uh huh, I heard him. He said "didn't". It caught my attention immediately."
Harm stared into Osborne's eyes for a moment before releasing him. "If I catch you anywhere near my family again, you're dead. Understood?" His voice was low and fraught with meaning.
Mac didn't doubt the words he spoke, she just wondered if she'd be able to stop him from killing Osborne, if it came to that. "You'd better listen to him," she warned Osborne. "None of us is very stable lately," Mac raised an eyebrow.
With a evil wink, Gayle Osborne turned and disappeared down the corridor in his stolen uniform.
Mac turned to Paige. "Are you okay?"
"I - I'm fine, I'm just *livid*," Paige stammered in response.
Mac nodded understanding and turned to Harm. "Something's up," she murmured. "But, the walls have ears, no?" she said, hinting there might be a bug planted nearby. "Paige," she spoke in a normal tone, pretending nothing was wrong. "Why don't you go *change* clothes and meet us in the parking lot? We'll take you to lunch." Mac made small motions with her hands to indicate that Paige should dump her lab coat and check her pockets and clothes for anything that might contain a bug.
Paige nodded. "See you in five."
Harm watched Mac head toward the parking lot, and he discreetly followed Paige towards the employees' lounge. He wasn't letting the young doctor out of his sight, not with Osborne about.
Paige finished changing and checking her clothes, and exited the lounge. She winked at Harm. "I'm starved."
Harm took her arm silently and led
her out of the building, glancing every way at once, watching for CIA agents,
fake Naval personnel and anybody with a gun. This day was *not* turning
out the way he'd expected.
* * *
Harm sat down between Paige and Mac at the small table. From the patio of the cafe, he watched the passers-by and wondered silently about AJ and Osborne.
A voice behind him shattered the silence. "Rabb."
Harm stood and turned, his hand cocked and ready to hit someone. "Webb!" His eyes widened in surprise. "What the hell..." he trailed off.
"Sit. I'll explain," Clayton said, pulling up a chair.
Harm sat, leaning back and crossing his arms.
"Let me give you the short version. I approached Admiral Chegwidden a couple of weeks ago to accompany me on a mission to Florida. There was some business with Cuba and some refugees. It's classified, I can't go into more detail than that, but suffice it to say we were going to piss off some influential Senators and a certain software tycoon if we accomplished what we set out to do." The waitress approached and Clayton interrupted himself. "Can I get a beer? Thanks."
He turned back to Harm. "Anyway, Chegwidden agreed, and we flew to Florida. We got there, set everything up, and suddenly, our headquarters goes up in flames."
Mac bit her lip, not really wanting to hear about AJ's death, but not able to tear herself away, either.
Clay glanced over sympathetically, but didn't console Mac. "We barely managed to get out - "
"AJ didn't," Harm supplied.
Clay shook his head. "Let me finish. Our headquarters went up in flames, and we barely managed to get out - *all* of us. That's when we realized that our plan was shot. We had a leak in the organization, and someone had found out about the mission."
"What does this have to do with my uncle, Mr. Webb?" Paige asked, narrowing her eyes. "If he didn't die in the fire, what killed him?"
"I did."
Harm was on his feet and lunging toward the CIA man in a split second. "You *what*?" He was in shock. "You killed AJ?"
"In a manner of speaking," Clayton smiled good-naturedly. "Can I please finish my story, Mr. Rabb, *before* you gut me?"
Harm released Webb grudgingly. "This story better have a good ending or your ass is mine, Webb."
Clayton nodded. "Yeah, right, so after the fire, we changed headquarters, among other precautions, and thought that would solve it. It didn't, of course, or I wouldn't be telling you this tale. We were attacked several more times, and each time, the number of people involved grew fewer, until the last time, it was down to just me and Chegwidden. At this point, I knew whoever was doing this wasn't just trying to stop the mission, they were going after one of us, personally. The Admiral and I both agreed that the best way to accomplish the mission *and* assure our own safety was...well, simply put, AJ and I had to fake our own deaths to avoid being killed."
Mac's mouth dropped open. Harm's followed. Paige was the first to speak. "Faked? So he's alive?"
Clayton nodded. "He's in Key West, getting some sun."
"Webb," Harm spoke through clenched teeth, "Do you know what we've been through the past two weeks, thinking AJ was dead?"
"I just found out, Rabb." Clayton's voice sounded as close to apologetic as a CIA agent could muster. "I never would've put you all through that if I'd known. But it all happened so fast, I didn't have time to inform my superiors. I told my agent trainee to do it, but apparently, messages got mixed and my team got word that we'd been killed. Neither AJ nor I knew about it until it was too late. He's livid, by the way," Clay said offhandedly, sipping his beer. "I was lucky to get out before he did, thus avoiding another broken nose and probably some ribs this time."
"What about Osborne?" Harm pressed.
"Gayle Osborne?" Clay shook his head. "He doesn't even know about this mission."
"He sure as hell does, Clay," Mac spoke up. "He cornered Paige in the hospital this morning, warning her not to look into her uncle's death."
Clayton cursed softly. Without answering Harm's question, he quickly dialed on his cell phone and spoke softly. "It's me. Osborne knows. Yeah, he was probably siphoning information from our leak the entire time." There was a pause. "Whatever you want, darling. Just make sure he lives to tell us what he did." Click.
Harm glanced at Mac, his eyebrow raised. "They don't keep track of their agents very well, do they?" he murmured.
Webb ignored the comment and continued with his story. "Anyway, you can't tell anyone about this. Chegwidden will be back at JAG on Monday, we'll explain that the body we found was misidentified and all will be back to normal. Got it?"
For once, Harm didn't argue. "Fine. But if Osborne knew about this the entire time, and he knows AJ's still alive, what's to keep him from going after the Admiral now?"
Webb shrugged. "For right now, only the fact that he doesn't know where the Admiral is. Once he returns to JAG, there's nothing between Osborne and AJ, I suppose, except us."
"Exactly which "us"?" Mac asked.
"Myself, and a colleague of mine. Let's just say we're ... rather convincing in these matters. I'm sure she and I can persuade Osborne to leave Chegwidden alone."
"Good," Paige interjected. "On behalf of the few Chegwiddens left in this world, the last thing we want is another run-in with that maniac."
Webb cleared his throat.
"I can think of a few things you'd like less. But enough of
that," he amended as Harm glared at him. Clay took another sip of
his beer, stood and smiled at the three. "Hey, Rabb, do me a favor?
Put in a good word with the Admiral for me, okay? I don't need any more
blood shed. Especially my own." With that, he was gone.
* * *
0900
hours
JAG Headquarters
Falls Church, Virginia
The rest of the week passed quickly and uneventfully. Harm was a little uncomfortable in his new position as the JAG, since he knew the Admiral would be back to relieve him of it any day now. Harriet had finally stopped crying a couple of days after the funeral, but her eyes threatened to water every time she looked in the direction of AJ's office.
"Sir?" Harriet said softly, standing in the doorway. She almost hated to admit it, but Harm fit the chair and the office perfectly. If anyone was meant to be in command besides AJ, it was certainly him.
"What is it, Harriet?" Harm said softly, putting aside the file he was working on.
"The McClellan court martial is next week, and if we want to file a continuance, Monday's the last day. You have to sign the order, sir."
"Wait until Monday, Harriet."
"But, sir, the sooner we - "
Harm cut her off gently. "Wait until Monday, Lieutenant. He - I'll take care of it then."
"Yessir," Harriet
murmured as she turned and left the office.
* * *
0800
hours
29 October 2007
JAG Headquarters
Harm stepped off the elevator and without pausing headed straight toward the Admiral's office. He strode in, closing the door behind him, and dropped his briefcase on the floor next to the desk. Harm was about to sit when he noticed the big leather chair was turned around. "Sir?" he asked quietly.
The chair turned and AJ smiled at him. "Good to see you, Rabb. How did you like being JAG?"
Harm tried not to stare at AJ, but it was hard. He was so relieved to have his friend and mentor back he could barely breathe. "Glad to see you alive and well, sir," he said, saluting quickly. "I loved being the JAG, Admiral. Can't wait until I get to try it again." A flyboy grin accompanied the comment.
AJ rapped one fist on the desk as if sealing a ruling over a case. "Then you won't have to. As of today, I'm retiring. You're the new JAG."
"Excuse me, sir?" Harm couldn't believe his ears. "You're retiring?"
"You heard me, Captain. I'm retiring. There are a lot of things I've been planning to do before I die, and this little escapade made me realize I might not have as much time as I thought. So, if you're up to it, the position is yours." AJ smiled warmly.
Harm's face broke into a huge smile. "Yes, sir! Thank you, sir."
"You're welcome. Now go find a phone and tell Mac, I'm sure she's assuming the same thing you are - that I'll be the JAG again. I have to call Francesca and explain this whole fiasco, *after* I go out there and tell my people that I'm alive, and quitting." He shook his head in amazement. "Things sure do change, don't they, son?"
Harm nodded. "They do indeed, sir." He turned and went to find a free phone.
AJ walked out into the bullpen and spotted Harriet. Without a word he walked up behind her and cleared his throat. "Good morning, Lieutenant."
Harriet turned and screamed. As she fell backwards, AJ caught her. "Mr. Roberts, come get your wife!" he bellowed and Bud came running, just as surprised to see AJ, but a little calmer.
"Sir?" Bud asked.
"It's a long story," AJ
began.
* * *
"I'm so proud of you, Flyboy," Mac grinned into the phone. "Let me take you out to lunch to celebrate."
"I have too much to do today, but how about dinner tonight, my place?" Harm made a mental note to pick up flowers on the way home.
"Sounds good. See you then, Harm," Mac said softly.
"And, Mac?"
"Yeah?"
"Thanks for everything,"
Harm said quietly, hanging up the phone.
* * *
"Come on, Harmony, we're going to be late!"
"Only by three minutes!"
Mac shook her head with a chuckle. "More like fifteen, but nice try. Let's *go*!" she called.
Harmony
finally emerged from her bedroom. She twirled around once. "Do
you like my outfit?" she asked with a little grin.
Mac nodded appreciatively. "It's lovely." Harmony had managed to pick out a blue shirt and matching black pants. "And they go together perfectly."
"Thank you," Harmony said, picking up her 101 Dalmatians purse. "I'm ready."
Mac giggled as she led Harmony down to the car. Once they got on the highway, Mac reached over and turned on the radio. She hit 'scan' and it went through a couple of hard rock stations. It stopped briefly on a country station and Harmony jumped. "Oooh, Mommy, leave this on! I love this song."
"'Kay," Mac said, stopping the scanner. She sat back and listened to the song they had caught in the middle.
"He was walking by the other day and I say, hey, baby, how you been? Yeah I got me a little girl now and she's four years old and she's got her daddy's little grin. You only wanted what you can't have and baby you can't have me now. I gave my heart to another. Yeah, I'm a mother and he's a father and we're a family and we've got each other and I found out the hard way. Love's the only house big enough for all the pain in the world. Love's the only house big enough for all the pain."
Mac chuckled softly. "Harmony, you're sneaky," she said.
"I didn't do anything,"
Harmony defended herself. But the twinkle in her eye looked just like the
one in Harm's when he'd done something sneaky and he was proud of it.
* * *
Harm hummed to the song on the radio as he stirred the sauce. He still couldn't believe Mac had gotten him to listen to country music.
"I
can see a new expression on my face. I can feel a strange sensation
takin' place.
I can hear the guitars playin' lovely tunes, every time that you walk in the
room," he sang, shaking the pepper in time to the drums.
"I close my eyes for a second and pretend it's me you want. Meanwhile, I try to act so nonchalant. I see a summer night with a magic moon, every time that you walk in the room." Harm frowned momentarily, remembering when he'd kissed Mac on the docks. He'd gone along when she said he was kissing Diane, but he knew. Harm knew he was kissing Mac.
"Maybe it's a dream come true, standin' right alongside of you. Wish I could show you how much I care, but I only have the nerve to stare." That night on the ferry in Australia - he'd been too scared to say anything. Thank god Mac hadn't.
"Oh, I .... I can feel that something pounding in my brain, just anytime that someone speaks your name. Trumpets sound, and I hear thunder boom, every time that you...every time that you...every time that you walk in the room!"
Mac turned the knob and entered the apartment just in time to hear Harm singing the last verse. "Cute," she laughed, ushering Harmony in.
"Hey!" Harm said, a smile lighting up his face. "I'm glad you guys came."
"Daddy!" Harmony said, rushing at him.
Harm glanced from Mac to Harmony and back. Finally, he picked Harmony up, kissed her cheek and walked over to Mac, holding out his free arm. "Can I take your coat, ma'am?" he asked.
"Thanks," Mac said, watching as he turned and hung her coat up. 'Nice work, Flyboy. Very nice,' she thought. Harm turned back and leaned in to kiss her on the cheek. On impulse, Mac turned her head and let her lips brush Harm's. She felt a tingle start in her lips and work its way down to her stomach. "Thanks," she repeated herself.
Harm pulled away from Mac, pleasantly surprised by her lips on his. "Well, the chicken's almost done, and the sauce is simmering, so we should be ready to eat in about ten minutes."
Harmony sniffed the air. "Lemons...I don't like lemons. Can I have my chicken without lemons?"
Harm chuckled. "Sure can, cowgirl. Thanks for asking so nicely."
"You're quite welcome, Daddy. Can I go see your planes?" Harmony squirmed to be let down.
"Go right ahead, I'm sure Mom and I can amuse ourselves somehow." He winked at Mac as he set Harmony down.
Mac laughed, settling herself on a barstool. "We usually manage. So how was your first day as the official JAG?"
"Same as the last seven," Harm chuckled. "Paperwork, paperwork and *more* paperwork," he said, scooping up a spoonful of lemon pepper sauce. "Tell me if this is hot enough?" He held it out to Mac.
Mac wrapped her lips around the spoon and tasted the sauce. "Mmmm, perfect," she murmured, licking her lips.
Harm shook his head slowly. "You're a tease," he grinned irresistibly.
"I am not!" Mac said with a little laugh. "You're just easily affected."
Harmony came out of Harm's bedroom
and stood there quietly for a full minute, watching her parents laughing and
joking. She nodded, satisfied.
* * *
After
dinner, Harmony lay on the floor with paper and crayons, intently drawing a
picture
for little AJ, to give to him the next time they visited Bud and Harriet.
Mac and Harm sat on the couch, with a few papers spread between them, discussing a case he was working on.
"I don't know, Mac, I would usually go with a plain old self-defense plea on something like this," Harm protested.
"Usually I would, too, but in this case, you have three affidavits from three separate commands showing that the defendant asked for and was denied the leave time. The best you can hope for is an appeal based on the prior counsel's inept defense," Mac pointed out.
"I guess you're right, but how do I prove it?" Harm asked, frowning.
As Mac thought for a moment, Harmony piped up. "Excuse me, Mom, I'm tired."
Mac winked at Harm. "You know, she's one of the most polite people I've ever met," she murmured, glancing over at Harmony.
"I know. You did a good job," Harm said softly.
"*We* did a good job, Harm," Mac smiled, turning to Harmony. "Are you ready to go home?"
Harmony shook her head. "No, you guys can keep going. I'll just take a nap in Daddy's bed, okay?"
Harm smiled at her. "Go right ahead. I mean, if it's okay with your mom?" He looked at Mac, raising an eyebrow.
Mac couldn't help it. She looked from Harmony's little puppy dog eyes, to Harm's, and back again, and burst out in giggles. "Sure, go ahead."
Harm looked at Harmony, not quite sure what was so funny. They shrugged in tandem, which only made Mac giggle harder. When Harmony had gone off to Harm's bedroom, Mac finally caught her breath enough to explain. "It's just so cute how much she looks and acts like you sometimes."
"Have you noticed how much she's like you, though, Mac?" Harm asked, leaning back against the arm of the couch. Mac shook her head. "She has your discipline, you made sure she calls everyone "sir" and "ma'am", and she even has that internal clock thing you do."
Mac nodded. "It's not as finely tuned as mine, but it's definitely there. She woke me up at 0605 yesterday, telling me we were going to be late for school. She's right, we usually get up at 0600."
"Damn, that's amazing," Harm commented as he picked up the papers between them. He straightened them out and slid them into a folder. When that was done, he stretched languidly, and rested his arm on the back of the couch.
Mac stared at his arm, remembering what it felt like to be cuddled up against him. "Hey, Harm?" she said softly, glancing up into his eyes.
"Hmm?"
"You know, we've been dating again for over a year. And I was thinking..." Mac trailed off, unsure of where she wanted to go with this train of thought, losing herself in his beautiful blue eyes.
"What, Mac?" Harm asked softly, moving a few inches closer. He, too, was getting lost in her eyes.
"Well, we should decide soon where this is going. You know, if we're going to stay together, living separately, or." She didn't finish the sentence, letting Harm take the hint.
"Or what?"
"You know, or what," she whispered. "Or break up. Or get married."
Harm whistled softly. "Those are my options, huh?"
Mac nodded, staring down at her hands. "Pretty much."
"I don't want to rush it, Mac," Harm began slowly. "I know I don't want to break up, ever."
Mac glanced up at him with a hint of a smile.
"And I know I don't want to get married, not just yet," Harm finished quietly, hoping she'd understand.
Mac sighed softly. "I guess I don't want to get married yet, either. But I was kind of hoping you would," she grinned.
"So can we just stay where we're at for a little while longer and see what happens?" Harm asked, reaching out to take her hand.
Mac felt the sparks between them and her hand was warm where Harm's rested on it. "Sure. As long as we're on the same page."
Harm smiled. "In that case, would it be all right if I held you? I've needed a hug all day." He held out his arms.
In one swift move, Mac was next to
him, her legs resting on top of his. "Me, too," she whispered,
kissing his mouth gently.
* * *
2030
hours
15 December 2007
Harm's Apartment
Harm's phone rang and he answered it quickly. "Rabb."
"Harm?" Mac whispered. "Can you come over?"
Harm didn't even stop to find out what was wrong. "I'll be right over." Twenty minutes later, he was knocking on Mac's door. She answered quickly, tears welling up in her eyes. "What is it?" he asked softly. He stepped into the apartment and closed the door.
"It's...it's Harmony's father. He's back, and he wants custody."
Harm's face drained of all color. His eyes widened in silent surprise. "What?"
Mac nodded, walking over to the couch and sinking down weakly. "He called this afternoon."
"How can he do this?" Harm asked softly, settling on the couch next to Mac. "He's been gone for five years!" His voice rose with anger. "How can he just waltz back in and ask for *anything*?"
"He's Harmony's *father*," Mac reminded him quietly, ignoring the heaviness in her heart. "You may be her daddy, but he's got legal rights, too."
"Not after five years, Mac. There are abandonment laws, statutes - "
Mac cut him off. "No. He didn't abandon Harmony. He never knew about her."
"What?" Harm couldn't believe his ears. "You told me that he ditched you when you told him you were pregnant."
"No," Mac corrected him. "I told you that he ditched me when I got pregnant. It was a one-night stand, Harm, he just didn't stick around. And I lied about the math, so he thought it was someone else's kid."
"What happened?" Harm asked, trying to digest all this new information.
"He found out, I'm not sure how, that I lied about the conception date, and he - -"
"Wait." Harm held up a hand. "Let's stop calling him "he". Does Harmony's father have a name?"
"Clayton Webb."
Mac spoke so softly, Harm was sure he had heard wrong. "Excuse me?" His eyes narrowed.
"Clayton," Mac said with a sigh. "Clayton Webb is the father of my daughter." She rushed to explain before Harm could jump to conclusions. "I was having one of the worst days in history, you'd just up and left me to go to some charity ball with Bobbi Latham," Mac practically spit the woman's name. "I had no one to talk to, so I went to McMurphy's for some music and club soda."
"And instead you ended up in Webb's bed?!" Harm's voice was filled with disbelief.
"Harm, be fair," Mac glared at him. "This was almost five years ago. You and I hadn't even come close to admitting how we felt. I was alone and depressed when Clay came to find me. He had some information on a case that needed my immediate attention. He saw I was upset and he tried to comfort me." Mac reached out and touched Harm's hand tentatively. He had no right to be upset over this, but Mac knew he might be anyway.
Harm laced his fingers with Mac's and silently waited for her to continue.
"Anyway," she said softly, "Clay and I talked for what must've been hours. I started to see a side of him that not many people do, I'd imagine. He was caring, and sweet, and genuinely interested in what I had to say. You hadn't been interested for a long while." Mac tried to keep the accusation out of her voice and just to tell the story. "Long story short, we ended up at his place. We both regretted it the next morning and promised to keep it between us. When I found out I was pregnant, I thought I'd wreck both our lives by dragging him into it. Clay had already met Casey before our night together," Mac explained, referring to Clayton's fiancee, "and he knew he was falling for her. By the time I realized I was pregnant, they were engaged. I wasn't going to do that to him, Harm." Mac spoke as if she had nothing to explain, nor defend, and she felt she didn't. She was a grown woman, with a mind and a life of her own. What she'd done before she and Harm got involved was none of his business, except as far as it affected him now. And Clay trying to get custody of Harmony was certainly affecting him. "So I told everyone it was someone they didn't know, and I told Clay it wasn't his."
Harm nodded slowly. "That makes sense," he said, his voice low and, he hoped, comforting. "It doesn't matter now. What's done is done. We just have to figure out how to keep Clay from getting custody. He has powerful friends."
Mac sighed softly, squeezing Harm's hands tightly. "Clay says if we'll share custody, and tell Harmony who her real father is, he won't go to court for full custody."
Harm's face had just started to return to its normal color, but this news sent him reeling. "Tell her? She's just a baby!"
Mac nodded. "I know, I didn't like it much either. But I've had all afternoon to think about it, and I think Clay's right. She's not a baby anymore, Harm, she's a human being, and she deserves to know who her biological father is."
Harm took a deep breath. "Maybe so. But I'm not going on Webb's word. Before we do anything, we'll get him to sign a legal custody agreement. Okay?"
Mac smiled slightly, her heart
lighter for having gotten everything out in the open. "Yes, of
course."
* * *
Clay signed the document with a satisfied nod. "I'm sorry to do this, Mac, but she's my daughter." His hand rested on the signed custody agreement.
"No, I'm sorry," Mac whispered, placing a hand on top of Clay's. "I should've told you five years ago. I'm sorry I didn't."
Clay smiled, that little smile of his that was more of a smirk than a smile but which melted Casey's heart every time she saw it. She stood in a distant corner, watching the proceedings detachedly.
Mac released Clay's hand and turned in Casey's direction. "Thank you for understanding," she said quietly. "And for not making this any harder on my daughter than it has to be."
Casey shrugged. "The kid didn't do anything wrong, why should she suffer?"
Mac nodded, and turned without a
word. She took the custody contract and left the room quickly.
* * *
27
January 2008
Chuck E. Cheese
Georgetown
Mac laughed aloud as Harm dangled from one of the tubes screwed to the ceiling. "Get down from there before you get me in trouble!"
Harm tipped his head back with a grin and pointed at a sign hanging nearby. "It says they're built for adults, too, Mac. Come on, play with us!"
"Yeah, Mommy, come play!" Harmony said, as a grin matching Harm's spread across her mouth.
Mac finally gave in, wandering over and looking at the tubes warily. "Are you sure it's going to hold me?"
Harm jumped down from about four feet up and landed next to Mac. "If you're too nervous, we can just go in the ball pit." He pointed to a large ball pit that looked almost big enough to accommodate even his 6'4" frame.
"I have a better idea," Mac grinned. "Skeeball!" She aimed a finger at the little ramps in the corner. "I'll bet you dinner that you can't beat me."
"You're on!" Harm strode off across the play area, a giant grin on his face.
Mac follow confidently. "You'll never beat me," she teased. "I was Skeeball champion of Red Rock Mesa."
"Yeah, well if the competition was you and your Uncle Matt, I see how you claimed the title," Harm teased, setting up two lanes. "Quit jabberin' and show me your stuff, Marine."
"Anytime." Mac stuck out her tongue and picked up a ball. She sent it flying up the ramp and it popped over the top and into the 50 point bucket. "Yes!" she cheered, waving a fist in victory. "Your turn, Squid."
Harm rolled a ball lightly up the ramp and it scored him 20.
"Hmph," Mac grinned. "Looks like dinner's going to be on you."
18 balls later, Harm and Mac were in hysterics, wagering ridiculous things. Mac bet the Marine Corps training center at Twentynine Palms, California against the Naval base at Norfolk, Virginia that she could break 300. When she won Norfolk, she began to make plans aloud for razing it and putting up a hair salon, just to see Harm's grimace. "One more, and then we should eat." Mac noted the growling in her stomach.
"Okay, one more ball. Loser draws the winner a bubble bath."
"You're on, Navy." Mac's tongue peeked out from between her lips as she concentrated. She pulled her arm back and swung it forward.
Just as Mac's arm was reaching her waist, Harm leaned over and blew in her ear. The skeeball went sailing out of Mac's hand and into the 0 points bucket. "Dammit, Harm!" she laughed. "You cheated." Mac turned and shoved him teasingly.
Harm grabbed her wrists, pulling Mac close. "Yeah, but it worked," he murmured, his lips a breath away from hers.
Mac nodded. "Uh huh." Impulsively, she reached up and kissed Harm soundly, before breaking away. "Too many kids," she whispered with a smile. "We don't want to put on a show."
Mac turned towards the tubes. "Hey, Harmony!" she called. "We're going to Uncle Bud and Aunt Harriet's for dinner, we better hurry!"
"Okay, Mom!" Harmony grabbed their three coats off the bench and hurried over.
Harm held Mac's coat for her and she slipped into it with a smile. He swung Harmony up into his arms and hugged her tightly. "Happy Birthday, punkin," he said as they headed out to Harm's car.
"You said that like ten times today, Daddy," Harmony laughed. "Thank you, anyway."
Mac looked up at Harm in amazement as they walked, still not quite believing that they had survived so much and were still together. "I love you," she whispered. *That's the first time I've said that to you in a while, isn't it, my darling?* she thought, watching his handsome face attentively.
"I love you, too," Harm
said, slipping an arm around Mac's shoulders. *God, it's good to hear
those words again. It's been too damn long.*
* * *
A year later...
Harm lay in bed, waiting for Mac. Technically, it was the night before their wedding and it was bad luck for him to be anywhere near her apartment, but neither one wanted to spend even a night apart. They'd decided if they could get through other people's children, faked deaths, transfers and major emotional issues, they could outrun Luck itself.
Mac came out of the bathroom, looking slightly pale.
Harm sat up, immediately concerned. "Are you okay?"
Mac nodded with a knowing smile, producing something from behind her back. "I guess so. But I have some news..."
THE END
