by: KLS

Dan "the Dry" Drycleaner Drysdale watched Girl go.  It was obvious that she was getting suspicious.  She wasn't stupid.  In fact, he thought to himself, she was most wonderful girl he had ever met.  And, she was also attentive to her husband's dry-cleaning needs.  Husband being the key word, he reminded himself.  And, clearly, since Girl was so consumed with keeping her husband's shirts and suits cleaned, she must love him dearly. 

But, Dan "the Dry" Drycleaner Drysdale had to admit, if only to himself, that he didn't like not answering her questions.  She had come to him for help.  If she couldn't trust her local drycleaner, who could she trust?  Dan the Dry ran his fingers through his sun-bleached--but be honest, it was a dye job--hair, trying to think what to do.  It did not take him long.  He handed off the drycleaning orderbook of power, told Hired-Help that she was in charge for the afternoon, and headed towards his car. 

Dan "the Dry" drove directly to Girl's house.  He had, of course, seen it before on those nights when he just "happened" to drive this way.  He parked across the street and strode up the walk-way--with its well-manicured edges and up to the front door. In fact, he had seen Girl and Consolation Husband working on the yard this last Saturday.

Girl had Junior on her hip with the phone in the other hand.

"Dan "the Dry" Drycleaner Drysdale?" Girl said.  "What are you doing here?"

Dan "the Dry" didn't say anything, just motioned for her to come outside.

Girl looked at him then said into the phone, "I'm going to have to call you back, Rebecca the Waitress.  Thanks."  She turned off the phone and walked back into the house to hang it back on the wall.  She expected Dan "the Dry" Drycleaner Drysdale to follow her, but he stayed at the front door.

She grabbed a sweater for her and for Junior--it would not do for either of them to catch a cold.  She was having the strangest day!  Was it any wonder that she was seeing Dead-boy on the streets.  A little early for a mid-life crisis, don't you think? she told herself.

Dan "the Dry" Drycleaner Drysdale was at the edge of the robust-green-perfect-marriage-and-family-no-secrets-in-the-past-or-dead-husbands-coming-back-to-life-lawn waiting for Girl when she locked up the front door and met him out on the sidewalk.

"This is really strange, Dan "the Dry" Drycleaner Drysdale.  Did I forget a shirt?"

Dan "the Dry" stopped abruptly and turned towards Girl.  "This is very important.  But I don't think we should talk in the open like this."  He grabbed her arms as though to pull her away with him.

Girl had had enough.  She jerked her arm back.  "Take your hands off me, Dan "the Dry" Drysdale.  You may have my drycleaning business and maybe I think you're cute and interesting in a non-threatening-you're-even-more-consolation-than-consolation-husband kind of way.  But if we're going to talk, we'll do it right here!"

Dan "the Dry" bowed his head, then looked directly into her eyes.

"I know more about Stranger than I told you before, back at the Drycleaners."  Dan "the Dry" looked over his shoulder.  "I'm not supposed to tell you, but I think you may be in danger by not knowing.  You have to know who to trust.  You can trust me.  Will you come with me?"

Even though part of Girl realized that Dan "the Dry" Drycleaner Drysdale had not revealed anything, she felt that she could trust him.  And he seemed agitated here on the drowsy-Midwestern street.

"You were born in Small Town, right?" Dan the Dry said.

"Yes, I didn't move to Town Falls until after--"

"After your husband was killed in a freak bridge accident?"

"But, but how did you know about that? Not even Consolation Husband knows!"

"Please, we can't talk here.  You have to come with me!"

"Okay, okay," Girl agreed reluctantly.

"My car's across the street."

Dan "the Dry" Drycleaner Drysdale was a few feet in front of her when Girl realized that she couldn't go with Dan "the Dry" because he probably didn't have a car seat in his car, and Girl, of all people, knew the importance of car safety.  Accidents could happen even when you were driving to your honeymoon with your soon-to-be-dead husband.  But before she could voice her concern for child safety, a car came careening down the road.  It took Girl a few moments to process that the car was going much too fast for this sleepy Small Town-like street.  She shouted, "Dan "the Dry" Drycleaner Drysdale!" and then cursed that his name was so long.

He turned and saw the car, but it was much too late.  The car struck him just as he was about to make a dive out of the way.  The late model, dark blue Buick struck the Dry, and he rolled up onto the hood, hitting and shattering the windshield before crumpling onto the pavement.  The car then sped away.

Girl screamed and ran to Dan the Dry's side.  Junior had started to cry, too. 

"Oh, Dan the Dry! Don't move, don't move!"  Girl noticed that Old Neighbor had walked shakily out of his front door.  She yelled to him to call 9-1-1.

"Girl, Girl," Dan "the Dry" Drycleaner Drysdale croaked.  "Your husband isn't dead.  Your husband is," he swallowed, "Your husband is--"

.

...to be continued...

.


Disclaimer: This fiction is intended as parody only; the characters, plot, etc., are the intellectual property of its authors. This story is not in any way affiliated with the Lifetime Channel, Lifetime Television, or the Lifetime Original Movie franchise.


by: Neftzer and friends (AAB, TRVMB, JMG, KLS) (c)2003
Feedback Appreciated!
Check out royaltoby.com/shack for Neftzer's OutBack Fiction Shack