Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the MARY SUES!

Disclaimer: I own NOTHING! But I would like to own one of those big cardboard cutouts of Jack . . . anybody got one?

Note: Thank you so very much to all of the reviewers! I love coming home and reading each of your wonderful notes. they are all so much fun! And I'm terribly sorry that this took so long to upload.there's no Internet at my other house . . . no, really.

Another Note: I've just finished reading MrsPitt's two PotC stories. They are fantastic, and I highly recommend them. I believe they are called 'Savvy' and 'I'd Love You to Want Me'. If you haven't read them, go read them now! Or, after you're done reading this. You choose.

Chapter 3: The Many Adventures of Helpless-Maiden Mary Sue

CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow and Will Turner were strolling down the beach one pleasant afternoon, chatting about the latest Pirate-y things going on in the world. This chatting made them both look like enormous pansies, but that's no problem. You'll see what I mean.

"And so," stated Jack, waving his arms in the air, " this new law 'llows for all of us Pirates to roam freely throughou' the world, not needin' to worry 'bout capture or execution. Savvy?"

Will looked surprised. "But why would anyone think up such a rule? Pirates are some of the most wanted men in the world. Why would anybody let them all walk freely?"

Jack smiled toothily. (Is that even a word?)

" Don' ask me, I read 'bout it in an Orig'nal Character story on Fanfiction.net."

"I hate those," replied Will, shuddering. Oh, the irony.

Jack grinned, and opened his mouth to speak when THWACK! He was hit by an enormous chunk of wood.

And on this enormous chunk of wood was a maiden. But it was not just ANY maiden, no sir. It was a Mary Sue!

*cue screaming and 'Psycho' music*

She was a young woman, in her late teens or early twenties. And even though she appeared to have been shipwrecked, she was not in the least bit wet or dirty. Her perfect long golden-blonde hair lay out perfectly behind her, dry and shimmering perfectly like the sun. She wore a beautiful red dress that just barely covered her knees, and her long legs were perfectly tanned. She was . . .perfect. She was also unconscious.

Will helped Jack to his feet, and they both knelt down to examine the Mary Sue. Will tentatively poked her in the arm, and she suddenly sat straight up.

"Father!" she yelled frantically, her fake contact-colored-cerulean-blue eyes wide and looking around, finally resting on the two men in front of her. "Have either of you two gentlemen seen my father?" she asked, a note of panic in her harmonious voice. "I went searching for him, because my mother tragically died when I was young but before she died she told me my father was a pirate but I didn't believe her so I went looking for him and then our ship was attacked by pirates and I don't remember what happened after that." She explained, in one abnormally long sentence.

Will cocked an eyebrow. "That sounds suspiciously like what happened to me a couple of years ago," he said, studying the Mary Sue. "What's your name?"

The girl looked up at him. "My name is Mary S- . . . I mean, Pearlescent Sirenadies Sparrow-Turner," she replied.

Will gasped. "Gasp! Why, you are Pearlescent Sirenadies Sparrow-Turner! My long lost twin sister!"

Jack looked at Will, then back at Pearlescent. "Then why does she have my name?"

"Who knows?" answered Will. "It's an original character-fic thing."

"Oh, Will," exclaimed Pearlescent. "It's so very wonderful to see you again!" She ran forward and leapt into his arms, knocking him to the ground.

Jack rolled his eyes. "That's it. I need some rum." He swaggered off, muttering something about 'mushy stuff' and 'soap operas'. ***

That's pretty short, huh? I'm terribly sorry, but I'm in a hurry to get packed for my short summer vacation trip this week. Plus I'm having the biggest bout of writer's block EVER! So I just can't concentrate right now.

I'll try to have more up by Friday. Please continue to review, they are so much fun to read and great confidence boosters!

And now, in response to your reviews:

Professor Weasley: Thank you so much! I know, there are WAY to many of them, especially in the PotC section. DEATH TO ALL MARY SUES!!! Erm, sorry about that ^_^'

Onyx and S: (smiles ^_^)

Spam-The-Great: Thanks! It IS pretty sad when people write like that. Pretty annoying, too.

SibilantSybil: LOL! Thanks!

Stefynae: Thank you! And I'll update ASAP. By the way, good luck in college!

Daroga's Rainy Daae: Hehe. thanks! And I've seen way too many stories with Jack tremendously out of character. Makes you feel sick, doesn't it? And where's the script? I can't seem to find it anywhere!

Again, a BIG thank you to all reviewers! *Hands out PotC Soundtracks *. Your comments are vastly appreciated.

Luv, -Beads