by: KLS

On the way over to the hospital, Girl filled Rebecca the Sassy Waitress in on what had happened.  They also talked about their feelings, and how they felt about those feelings, their husbands and how sometimes they didn't know how they put up with them, and then Girl talked about a pair of shoes she found on sale at Incredibly Expensive Italian Yuppie Shoes just this last week!

Girl knew she needed to talk to Dan the Dry, but now she wasn't sure if it was wise to be seen talking to him.  It had to mean something that a late-model blue Buick had try to run him over, didn't it?

"Yes, I think that means something," Rebecca the Sassy Waitress said.  "You hear about these things happening all the time, but usually it's in Big City.  And it's never good.  I mean, if I've learned one thing in my hard-working life it's that HIT-AND-RUN-ATTEMPTED-MURDER doesn't end well."

"A little optimism, here," Girl said to Rebecca the Sassy as they entered the hospital.  Girl volunteered regularly brightening up the day of old people and young children so she knew how to find out where Dan the Dry was and how to avoid nurses stations.  Unfortunately, it also meant that she might run into someone she knew.  They needed to blend in.

Girl pulled Rebecca the Sassy into a nearby linen closet and donned Candy Striper aprons.

"I was a candy striper when I was 15.  I volunteered with this kid, oh man, he was yummy.  He was doing community service for vandalism or something.  A real bad-boy.  You know the type?  We'd make-out in the janitor's closet. It always had that disinfectant smell."

"That's a great story, Rebecca the Sassy, but now is not the time."  Girl tied Rebecca the Sassy's apron.  Girl peered out of the linen closet. "Here, take this stack of towels.  Stand watch while I sneak over to Dan the Dry's bed.  I'll pull the curtain around and you stand look-out, without looking too obvious.  Do you think you can manage that?  If you see the cops or doctors or anything suspicious, just make a bird sound, like KaKaw, KaKaw."

Rebecca the Sassy looked at Girl disbelievingly.  "KaKaw?"

"It'll work, trust me.  It always works."

"I should've just stayed at work," Rebecca the Sassy said before walking down the hallway with her towels in her arms.

Girl waited for what seemed like an eternity.  If she was caught, she would just play dumb.  She was a pretty-suburban-wife, no one would suspect her. 

She walked down the hallway in the ER; she found Dan the Dry's room easily, because it's just that easy to find things in a big hospital, and ducked into the room that he shared with three other patients.  She pulled back the curtain and pulled it around her again.

Dan the Dry was in bad shape.  Tubes were coming out of him.  His face was pale, his nose was bandaged.  There was a bandage around his head, his blond tipped hair smushed to his head.  She tenderly touched his hair, looking thoughtful for a moment as the light shone softly on her face.

"Dan the Dry," she whispered.  "Dan the Dry," she said louder.  But there was no response.  She didn't know what to do next.  She hadn't really thought about a contingency plan. 

Dan the Dry just needed to wake up!  She knew that SOMETHING was going on, but she didn't know what.  Something to do with Consolation Husband and Stranger, but what was the connection?  Is it possible that dear departed dead boy wasn't dead after all? Dan the Dry knew the answers!  She touched his arm, and at the same moment, someone grabbed her from behind.  A rough hand covered her mouth as she struggled.  She was pulled against a body, hard like a wall, and dragged backwards.  In the distance she heard Rebecca the Sassy--louder than usual; "Oh, I must've gotten off on the wrong floor!  KaKaw, KaKaw!  I'm not usually in the ER."  And then she heard the whisper of scrubs walking hurriedly down the hallway towards her.  Someone was coming!  She'd be discovered, but then she would also be able to escape from whomever had her in his clutches!

Girl struggled and stomped on the Unknown Assailant's foot.  Unknown Assailant grunted but didn't let go of Girl.  He said menacingly, through gritted teeth, "Don't move.  Don't say a word."

.

...to be continued...

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Disclaimer: This fiction is intended as parody only; the characters, plot, etc., are the intellectual property of its authors. This story is not in any way affiliated with the Lifetime Channel, Lifetime Television, or the Lifetime Original Movie franchise.


by: Neftzer and friends (AAB, TRVMB, JMG, KLS) (c)2003
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