by: TRVMB

The on-call staff at Our Lady of Mercy kept Pretty Wife overnight and released her the next morning into the care of Consolation Husband.  Pretty Wife never laid an eye on either Dan the Dry nor Rebecca the Sassy during her stay, and she attempted to mask her concern as Consolation Husband drove her home in their sensible vehicle--all the way back to their house that was neatly positioned within a lovely development.

"You go ahead and try to get some rest, Love.  You've been through quite a lot in the last couple of days.  I'll go over the Old Neighbor's to pick up Junior, and I'll care for him for the afternoon.  We'll stay in the east wing of the house so we don't disturb you."  Consolation Husband kissed Pretty Wife on the forehead condescendingly and exited.

But Girl was too exhausted to argue.  She retreated into the bedroom and collapsed onto the bed.  As she drifted into a restless sleep, her thoughts and dreams continued to revert back to Dan the Dry and Rebecca the Sassy. What exactly had happened at Our Lady of Mercy?  She remembered something about Rebecca standing watch, looking for Dan the Dry...

"Oh, what's the use?" Girl thinks to herself, sitting up on the king-sized, down-quilted mattress.  "There's no way I'll be able to get to sleep, particularly when I'm staring up at the ceiling and noticing that this crown moulding desperately needs replacement!"  She exits the bedroom and makes her way to the east wing.  Perhaps seeing Junior would make her feel better, useful, purposed.

But Consolation Husband and Baby Heir were nowhere to be found.  Just as Girl was about to draw herself a nice bubble bath, C.H. came crashing through the front door. "Cuddle Pie!  Junior has been kidnapped!"

Pretty Wife fell to her knees.  She was having a rough week.

"What?!  Wha...  Who... What happened?!"

"Old Neighbor said that a woman broke into his home, cursing and yelling something about drycleaning, or the drycleaners...  He wasn't sure.  Old Neighbor said she then ran out the door, clutching Junior under one arm, and drove off."

"Did he see the vehicle?  Did he get the plate numbers?  Did he call the police?!"

"Yes.  Sergeant McCoy with the Town Falls Police Department is on his way to talk to us now, in fact.  Old Neighbor didn't get the plate numbers, but said she was driving a late model, blue Buick.  He said the front had been damaged, like maybe it had hit a telephone pole."

"Or a Drycleaner..."  Pretty Wife thought to herself.  She carried her weak-kneed, nauseous self over to the La-Z-Boy and sat down, her mind spinning.  What in the world was happening in her once seemingly peaceful, serene, perfect life? "Did Old Neighbor say anything else?"

"Yes.  He said that it looked like there was someone in the back seat of the Buick, but he couldn't see the person's face.  He wasn't sure if it was an accomplice, or another kidnapping victim, because the person was slumped over, and the head was all bandaged."

Uh oh.

"Oh, and the madwoman driving was wearing a candystriper apron."

.

...to be continued...

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Disclaimer: This fiction is intended as parody only; the characters, plot, etc., are the intellectual property of its authors. This story is not in any way affiliated with the Lifetime Channel, Lifetime Television, or the Lifetime Original Movie franchise.


by: Neftzer and friends (AAB, TRVMB, JMG, KLS) (c)2003
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