Disclaimer: Belong to Fox, Charles and Cameron. Not I.

Author Note: Looks like, again, I have written more than I really wanted to. You see, this was supposed to be short; this was supposed to be the last chapter. But no, I just had to go on an inspirational spree of script. So, this chapter does not contain a miracle cure, or the removal of Season 2, but does have some near-nudity. You'll see what I mean. Oh, and the main reason I stoped where I did was because I couldn't think of names for the remaining garments that would fit into my trend. The trend you should discover, it isn't hard, and suggestion I would welcome greatly. Well from those of you who would like to see them removed. Another note, I got a bit stupid, and managed to hit a 15-word piece of what I like to call "pure-alliteration", see if you can pick it or just ignore it, for it is stupid. Shikes, what a long author note, I apol. Something else, the previous chapter has been polished slightly with some very minor things added

Let me know what you think.

The piano man

Logan walked through the apartment with Max and Asha following in a straight line, all with their glasses in hand.

'Logan, where the hell are you leading us? We've been walking for… ever and we still haven't got to your liquor stash and my feet are sore,' Asha complained, beginning to wish she had removed her shoes a while ago. In fact, she wanted them gone right now, so she sat on the floor and began yanking them off. Max and Logan shared a raised eyebrow, then sat down in the middle of the hallway and removed their footwear as well. Loud clunks were heard as the recently liberated apparel was thrown in various directions.

'That was a good idea Asha,' Logan said.

'Yeah, shoes suck,' Max agreed. Logan lent over Asha and whispered in Max's ear again.

'You've got nicer feet too.'

'Hey, I'm right here!' Asha exclaimed, clambering to her feet.

'Okay, let's find this elusive alcohol, I'm sure Max's X-5ness is getting the better of what meagre amount of intoxicants she has managed to consume so far,' Logan said, turning and leading the happy troop further through his apartment.

'Ah, Logan, I hate to damage your delicate male ego but your-'

'I remember that, when we were supposed to be going on a vacation, and instead I ended up killing people,' his voice started off cheery, but became dark and sullen towards the end.

'No you didn't, you saved my life. And I'm the super hero. Remember "Maximum Force- Girl- Woman"? It wasn't your fault; they came looking for trouble. They just chose someone too smart and too sexy to pick a fight with and payed the price.' Smart and sexy, whoa, where the hell did that come from? Max thought, a slightly baffled frown crossing her face.

'Yeah, "Maximum Girl",' Logan said, happy once more. Asha sighed loudly.

'What's wrong?' Logan asked.

'Well, I thought we had some stuff in common, seeing as Max was… away for so long. But you two have got tons of history. There go all my chances.' Logan turned around, quickly stopping their marching line, and placed a consoling hand on Asha's shoulder.

'Asha, you never really had a chance, not against Max.'

'But I thought, maybe-'

'No Asha, it's not you. No one has a chance against Max,' then in more of a hushed and secretive tone, 'Max is perfect, by the way. And I don't just mean 'cause she smart, nice and pretty, but also on a genetic level. So, there's even facts to back up my claim,' Logan explained reassuringly. Asha nodded her head sullenly and let out another big sigh. Max, not having missed one millisecond of Logan's explanation, was brimming with delight and anger. All she wanted to do was rush into his arms and cover him in thousands of kisses, which she couldn't.

'Damn bloody virus,' she cursed loudly. Logan and Asha looked at her surprised with her bitter outburst.

'Cheer up, Max. You're here now, and we're having fun,' Logan said, trying to brighten her mood.

'Some fun, I can't even touch you, or lick salt or whatever off you so I can then have lemon and some drink. I always wanted to do that,' she responded, equally despondent. Logan looked at her hard for a few seconds, and then she noticed his gaze shifting down to her legs.

'Tsk, tsk. Yep I thought so.'

'What?'

'Your pants,' Logan pointed out.

'What's wrong with them?' Max asked, looking her pants over in a panicked self-conscious manner.

'Well, they're cranky pants, aren't they?' he asked rhetorically. Both he and Asha then burst into more fits of laughter. Max tried to remain stern, but she couldn't. Cranky pants.

'Anyway, as I was saying before; I hate to damage your delicate male ego-'

'I remember that, you thought we were going to my Uncles cabin-'

'But, I don't think we're heading in the right direction to get to this liquor cabinet of yours,' Max finished, getting louder to override Logan's tirade, as he went on to explain how he said the cabin was being fumigated, and then how it was being rented out.

'Well der, I'm giving you girls the scenic tour,' Logan retorted, rolling his eyes.

'Then start touring, Mr Scenic,' Max replied. Logan turned around and they started walking again, with Asha in the middle and Max bringing up the rear.

'On your left, you will notice the guestroom, which each of you have frequented from time to time,' Logan said, in his best tour operator voice, gesturing towards the laundry.

'On your right, you will notice… another guest room.' Pointing to the actual guestroom this time.

'On our left, we have the master bedroom, which is mine,' Logan explained, motioning flamboyantly the whole time. The two girls stopped in the doorway, and looked in at the room with a sense of longing and eagerness. In unison they sighed heavily.

'I bet that bed's comfy,' Max stated to no one in particular.

'Yeah, and warm,' Asha responded, also to no one in particular. They glanced at each other, then the bed, then each other again.

'It's mine,' Max said, pushing Asha out of the way in a mad scramble for the prized furniture. She made it there easily and hopped on top grabbing the cover and swinging it around her shoulders, with Asha still picking herself up off the floor.

'What's going on? You're missing the tour,' Logan complained from a distance down the hall, only just noticing his audience were no longer with him when nobody laughed at his horrendously funny joke concerning lentils.

'Max pushed me over,' Asha wailed, still losing the battle with gravity as she swam around on the floor.

'Did not. You got in my way,' Max said, as she began to bounce slightly on Logan's bed, the cover firmly wrapped around her.

'Anyway, he's mine. Remember?' Max said somewhat threateningly, sticking her tongue out in the direction Asha's scuffling came from.

'Oh, so you own me, do you?' Logan asked, framed in the doorway, hands on hips, with a silly grin on his face.

'Yeah, but you can have me if you want,' Max replied sheepishly. Logan lost balance and keeled over.

'If I want? If I want!' Logan hollered in amazement from the floor, 'there's nothing more in the entire world that I want, well maybe that damn virus thing.' Max began bouncing again.

'Then it's settled.'

'Who do I get?' Asha asked, having given up on revisiting a state of erectness any time soon. Max and Logan looked at each other, then at Asha, and then each other again. All they could come up with was a shrug.

'God, socks are almost as bad as shoes,' Asha suddenly complained as she began to pull them off, the fact she had no one apparently forgotten. Max bounced a little more then sat down.

'Yeah, socks suck.'

'Yeah,' Logan agreed, as they removed their woollen feet warmers as well. He walked casually over to the side of the bed and sat on the edge.

'You've got nicer toes too.'

'Hey, I can still hear you,' Asha complained noisily from her spot on the floor.

'I like this bed cover thingy, Logan,' Max stated, as she stood up and began to bounce once more, smiling at Logan the whole time.

'Yeah, it's pretty warm. Lets get back underway with this tour, I've got a really funny lentil joke,' Logan said, clambering to his feet.

'I forgot how to stand up,' Asha said from her spot on the floor, as she flailed frantically in an attempt to rejoin the race of bipeds.

Being the consummate gentlemen that he is, Logan bent down to assist Asha in standing. Max kept a very sharp eye on where the drunken lass groped to hang on to the towering spire of male magnificence, which was hers.

Asha had an arm around Logan's neck as he straightened bringing her with him, while the other began a furtive slide down his back.

'I will kill you, if you keep that up,' Max said with a deadly inflection, suddenly mere centimetres from Asha's ear.

'I'm up,' Asha said quickly, pushing Logan away in the process.

'Good, let's continue this tour. I didn't put on my tour guide accent for nothing,' Logan said cheerily, completely oblivious to the ferocity Max was protecting him with. So again they headed off down the hall, Logan in the front entertaining himself with another lentil joke, Asha in the middle bouncing around with an unknown enthusiasm, and Max brining up the rear finding everything less interesting by the second but mysteriously being followed by a regale adornment in the shape of a cloak, which was actually Logan's bed cover.

'Ah-ha, finally,' Logan announced with glee, as he rounded a corner.

'The cabinet of liquor, miladies.' Asha brimmed with the reference and dashed forward, Max gave her a dark look.

'I'm his lady, no one else,' she said scathingly. Asha turned and looked at her, smiling weakly, 'I know, it's still exciting to be called that.'

'Okay, so what do you want Max?' Logan asked loudly. She wasn't sure if he was ignoring the exchange she was having with Asha, or was in fact completely oblivious.

Oh well, doesn't really matter.

'Er, I don't know. What do you suggest?'

'We could have sex on the beach, but I think I'll just mix you a drink since it's raining,' Logan said innocently, however wickedly evil his grin was. Had Max been drinking anything at that moment it would have been sprayed far and wide around the room, and as it was, she still took a few minutes to catch her breath.

'Okay, I think I have an idea, but it will require some equipment-'

'Need me to steal anything?' Max enquired eagerly.

'No, we can just go into the kitchen, I have it all there,' Logan replied.

'Are you sure you don't want me to steal something?' Max asked, as Logan began to carefully load up her arms with various oddly shaped bottles.

'To the kitchen.'

Logan stood behind the counter with a vast array of bottles around him, Max and Asha on the other side watching on intently. He began mixing and pouring, and spinning and twirling, with what looked like expert ease.

'Damn it's hot in here. I hate sweaters,' Asha suddenly complained, dragging her jumper over her head. Max looked at her for a second perplexed, and then began taking her own jumper off after shedding Logan's bed covering.

'Yeah, sweaters suck.'

'Yeah,' agreed Logan, who momentarily stopped his liquid ministrations to remove his own pestilent pullover. He then lent over and whispered in Max's ear.

'You've got nicer arms and shoulders too.'

'I'm right here!' Asha screamed, Max giggled.

Eventually the drink was mixed, thoroughly blended and ready for distribution. Logan collected two cocktail glasses from his cupboard and filled them with the oddly neutral coloured liquid. He handed one to Asha, and received a mighty scowl from Max.

'Mmmm, this is so nice Logan,' Asha murmured appreciatorily.

'Thankyou, it's my own little concoction from way back,' Logan replied, taking the other cocktail glass and sipping from it.

'How did you come up-'

'Why don't I get one?' Max interrupted abruptly.

'You do, I was just getting to it.' Logan then preceded to hand the three-quarter full blender jug to her.

'Why does she get so much,' Asha complained noisily.

'We're fighting zillions of dollars of military genetics here. She needs as much as she can get,' Logan explained, winking at Max.

He winks? she thought surprised, taking a tentative sip.

'This is nice,' Max said, Logan swelling greatly with the praise.

'I was hoping you would like it.'

'Don't I count anymore?' Asha asked.

'No,' they replied in unison, which all found to be a real laugh. During a small convulsion of cachinnation, Asha knocked something heavy and metallic to the floor.

'Oops.'

'What have you done now,' Logan chided playfully, walking over to see what had fallen.

'It was an accident, I swear, but look how funny it landed,' Asha responded, pointing to the saucepan that lay on the floor in a truly amazing fashion.

'Hey, that is pretty funny. Max come and- Max!' Logan rushed over and grabbed the jug lowering it from the precariously steep angle it was in.

'Jesus, what are you doing?' Logan asked, looking at the jug that now had less than half it's previous contents in it.

'Drinking, it's really nice,' Max said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

'You need to take it slowly. This is really strong stuff; I don't want you to die, I'm far too attached. This is going in the fridge till later.'

'Fine, whatever,' she replied flippantly but with an oddly pleasing warm sensation from Logan's concern, before going over and checking out the saucepan.

'That is really funny,' she said jollily.

'Yeah, but my poor floor,' Logan lamented lackadaisically, looking languorous like love long lost lucid lustral lineaments, leaving little left. Well, at least that's what Max thought.

'Come, let us depart from this dreary kitchen and misshapen pan of sauce,' Logan declared, heading out of the room with cocktail glass in hand. Asha followed behind, as Max headed over to the fridge in search of her drink, but after failing to grab the handle three attempts in a row, she decided that she would just get it later.

Max trotted to catch up with Logan and Asha, not being able to trust that woman alone with her Logan. She came around the corner swiftly and ran into Asha, causing her to knock her drink all over her top. Logan didn't notice and continued explaining the origins of a fine piece of artwork, which happened to be a poster.

'Sorry Asha, I didn't see you there,' Max giggled, damn she was giggling a lot, what the hell did that mean?

'Bah, doesn't matter, I hate shirts anyway,' Asha said, quickly removing her shirt and throwing it across the room.

'Yeah, shirts suck,' Max heartily agreed, hers going the way of Asha's. They both then turned and looked with raised eyebrows at Logan, whom had gone quite speechless.

'Yeah,' he finally agreed very enthusiastically, shedding his own sheath of skin suppression. Asha's breath caught and her jaw hung.

'He is so mine,' was all Max could say, eyeing him appreciatively. Logan lent in and whispered in Max's ear.

'You've got a much, much, much nicer set of-'

'I'm right here, and we all know,' Asha interrupted hotly, crossing her arms over her chest.

'-abs,' Logan continued, smirking at Asha in the process. They all knew he was clearly going to say something else before Asha brought about her temporal intermission, however.

'Come on sexy-wexy shirtless tour-guide. Show us more,' Max swanned, nodding down the hall.

Smiling like the cat with far too many cream-covered canneries, Logan sauntered down the hall, with his two female companions in tow.

'Coming up here, is my fitness/recovery room, which sees little use these days thanks to my fully recuperated legs.' They walked casually into the room, observing the odds and ends like so many interested museum patrons. Asha tripped and fell, landing in Logan's wheelchair.

'This is kind of comfy,' she commented, trying to extract herself, but as with recovering from her nasty spill on the floor, it was going to take a lot of effort.

'I can't get up,' she said pathetically after a few minutes of struggle. Max rolled her eyes, and picked up a dumbbell – of course, as if it were nothing – studying it curiously. Logan by now had gone to rescue the hapless blonde floundering hopelessly in his prior mode of transportation.

'Come on, Asha,' Logan said, bending down and grabbing at her waist to hoist her out. The dumbbell bent in Max's hands as she watched those of Asha, slide across Logan's bare back. Sure, they were flapping frenetically and not really doing anything she would consider seductive, but that was hardly the point. Asha had touched his bare back before she had.

One mighty heave and a very loud rip later, Logan was standing, and Asha happened to be pressed chest to chest with him. The dumbbell snapped in twain.

'I think something tore,' Logan said, examining his wheelchair closely.

'Oh God, I hate slacks,' Asha suddenly proclaimed sounding slightly frustrated, relieving herself of her freshly torn pants.

Logan's head snapped around, and looked at Max expectantly. She smiled at him and bent down and started the incredibly arduous procedure of removing her jeans, second only to the hours she would spend getting them on in the first place.

'Yeah, slacks suck.'

'Yeah,' Logan agreed throatily.

'No more cranky pants.'

So there they stood in Logan's exercise room wearing naught but their flimsy underthings. Asha sporting a semi-frilly grey set, Max jet-black, simple as they come, and Logan in some navy silken boxers.

He stared at her openly for a few seconds, oh the joys of alcohols wondrous ability to lower inhibitions. He bent to whisper in Max's ear.

'You've got much nicer legs too.' Which was closely followed by a very pathetic whimper that sounded distinctly like "black…"

'Hey, God damn it!'

'What? She does,' Logan said honestly, turning to Asha. When he turned back to smile at – or "observe" – Max some more, she wasn't there.

'What the hell?' He quickly glanced around, and even looked under the exercise table, but still no Max. When he straightened and was just about to start going on the prowl he heard a snigger coming from above him. Above him? Sure enough when he looked up, there, clinging to one of the wooden bearers that supported his ceiling was Max.

'What are you doing up there? Wait, how did you even get up there?'

'I jumped, and I'm just… you know, hanging out.' The bout of laughter that followed this was enough to dislodge Max, and even through her inebriated haze and paroxysms of jocularity she managed to land delicately on her feet.

'I don't know why I haven't done that before. You should have seen your face,' Max said, wiping a tear from her eye.

'Okay, on with the tour,' Asha announced, having become bored trying to figure out how a towel worked. Logan lead them out of the exercise room, and deeper into the unknowns of his apartment.

'Here, on our left, is the music room.' Max and Asha looked at each other.

'Music room?'

'Sure, what, you think I spend all my time in here working?' Logan asked, walking over and placing himself behind a grand piano.

'How come I've never seen this room before?' Max asked, slowly moseying around and taking in all that was there.

'Because you've never been in it. Der,' he teased. Asha sat next to Logan on the piano chair and started to mash out a very crude rendition of "Chopstick". He quickly grabbed her by the wrists to cease the awful sound.

'No chopsticks in my apartment. Ever,' he said quite seriously.

'Fine, you play something,' Asha retorted.

Max had now made her way back to the piano, and didn't like the look of Asha so close to her near-naked Logan. As if sensing her distress, Logan quickly made a suggestion.

'You can get on top if you want Max. I've always wanted a beautiful lounge-singer styled decoration adorning my piano.' Max did just that, slinking on top of the piano, lying down and facing Logan. She lay on her stomach, resting on her elbows, with her legs crossed elegantly behind her bent at the knees.

'Hey, can you sing Logan,' Asha asked suddenly.

'Uh-what? Yeah, sure,' he replied dumbly. He hadn't broken eye contact with Max ever since she crawled atop his large musical instrument, but it was his damned peripheral vision that was doing him in. He was just glad he happened to be sitting down, and was under a set of ivories.

'So,' Max said in an incredibly sultry manner, which only inflamed his situation, 'sing us a song, you're the piano man.'