Chapter 7

He woke up in a haze, his mind covered by glistening fog.  He had shot up from bed, his throat sore from the scream that had erupted from within him.  It hadn't been the first time he had this nightmare.  He could almost feel the fierce heat upon his skin, taste and smell the smoke that was floating above the crisis.  He could still hear the screams echoing within his mind, the loud explosion replaying making his ears ring.  He could feel himself running, numbly towards the wreckage, but they had gotten a hold of him pulling him away.  He could hear his voice, feel it rumbling with sorrow, and anger… "No!" and then it was silence, and there was nothing but him in the darkness, all he could find solace in was his sorrow for what he had done.  For the one who had killed all that had meant anything to him, he was going to kill her; he was going to kill 452.

Alec sighed as he wiped the sweat off his forehead, his heart pounding within his ears, it hadn't been the first time he had this dream.  This nightmare that haunted him of things he couldn't remember, of people he couldn't remember.  All he knew was that Max was the one that pushed the button and killed the one thing that meant anything to him.  He knew now that he would never let anyone in his heart ever again, he was going to be the soldier he was meant to be.  He was going to be X5 494, and nothing else. 

He got up from the cot, and got dressed.  Alec sucked in a deep breath as he walked with large strides towards the center of the transgenic haven.   He walked in to find everyone already bustling to get things done.  He recognized a few as he had only truly met them the first day he had gotten there, but found that as everyday went on more and more transgenics seemed to show up.   Alec had grown accustomed to the things that were happening, to the people there.  He found that even though Max had given him such an affectionate welcome she had become hostile to him.  Not hostile per say but somewhat like that, she didn't hold the same affection towards him anymore, and reverted to calling him names.  Somehow he had found comfort in the little bouts they had, where she would make a remark and he would say something clever.  Though she always looked at him weird after he had said something, like she was expecting another reaction out of him.  Hell, he couldn't act the way he was supposed to after all he wasn't the same man anymore he couldn't even remember who he had used to be.  Though she wasn't supposed to know that, and neither did the other transgenics.

Though he was almost hell-bent on killing 452 something held him back every time he tried.  Alec had so many opportunities to pull the gun out from under his jacket and put a bullet in her head.  Although a swarm of transgenics would come to see what happened to their poor little maxie, they were so gullible he could just act like it was a sniper or something and he would be out of there.  Sure not a polished situation but it was the only way since Max hardly ever left the city and when she did he didn't even notice.   He growled as his frustration took over, he hated her so much for killing the person he loved, but yet he didn't want to kill her.  Something was holding him back, and he didn't know what.  All it came down to was that he cared about Max but hated 452, and that just didn't make any sense.  He knew what she had done, he knew he wanted revenge he wanted vengeance for the death of someone he cared about.  Guess he wasn't the soldier he thought he was, because the soldier he was supposed to be the soldier that would stop at nothing to fulfill the mission he was given. 

Alec was shaken from his reverie as Max called to him.  "Huh?!" he asked acknowledge the object of his thoughts.  "Can you get some supplies, we're running low on essentials here.  I know, you're probably going to ask about why I'm not going to go and why I won't ask Logan.  You know the danger if Logan tries to get stuff into T.C and you know that the press has already caught me on camera.  Alec, you are one of the only people I really trust here in T.C and I'm hoping that you can do this for me."  "Uh, yeah I can do that for you."  He smiled and as if on cue she gave him a confused look. 

***

It just happened again!  He smiled?  What the hell was that?  Is it just me or did he just genuinely smile?  What happened to that smirk on his stupid face?  What happened to all the bantering?  What happened to the Alec we know and love?  Her thoughts consumed her for the thousandth time this month.  She had been really worried about him, he was really quiet now and she didn't know why.  Every time she tried to talk to him about it he would turn her away or make up an excuse like he had a nightmare about his old missions.  Sure it was a legitimate excuse but this was ALEC!  He wasn't supposed to act this way, he was supposed to hide behind the mask and stay protected, use his fast wit and clever remarks to get through the day.  She hoped that he wasn't going to be like this forever as she watched him sneak out of Terminal City and disappear into the gray smoke and morning rays of sun.

***

She took a deep breath as if relishing the crisp morning air.  She loved this time of month where everything just seemed so beautiful, and the air seemed to dance around, as the steam would rise.  A smile graced her lips as she walked out from the gates of her home.  She had snuck out, she didn't want her father to worry, but she didn't want to be cooped up any longer.  What kind of life would she have if she was afraid to set foot outside of her own house, and somehow a life with a bodyguard watching her every move didn't appeal to her.

Life hadn't been the same since the incident with the kidnapping; everyone around her was worried about her.  They wouldn't allow her to go outside the berrisford premises without an officer.  What kind of life was that?  Rachel knew she couldn't live that way, and she sure as hell wouldn't stay in the house any longer.  She wanted to be alone, so she left as quietly as she could, leaving a note upon her piano telling her father that she went out and for him not to worry. Rachel needed this time alone, she needed to think, and to get out into the world that so readily passed her by.  Already so many things had changed and she was just getting used to things around here.  Rachel had lost the two-years she had spent sleeping unconscious in her bedroom, she had lost the years that she could have spent learning and moving forward with her life.  Yet she had remained within that bedroom through those years and instead of moving forward or backward she was stuck in the middle not moving at all.  She couldn't help but be happy for she was alive when things looked grim, and yet again she escaped death.  Sure it didn't look like that man… 'White' was really going to kill her, but she had seen movies and she wasn't about to rule out that possibility.  If Alec hadn't found her when he did who knows what would have happened.

Alec, funny how every thought seems to find it's way back to that subject.  She loved him transgenic or not, there was no denying it.  If only he would contact her.  She knew that he was busy with all the transgenic stuff, the whole becoming free thing… kind of like an act of independence.  Nonetheless she wished that he was with her right now, and maybe he would be when this whole thing blew over.  That is of course he doesn't fall for one of those transgenic women, she'd be stupid if she thought that there wasn't any competition, considering his friend that was with him, what was her name again?  Max was it?  Although she didn't seem like she liked Alec in that way her mind might change, after all war can probably change anyone's mind. 

Rachel sighed, he did say that they couldn't be together, and then things just started to look a little more depressing. Before she took that as something that he said for her to stay away from him, but if he tried so hard to make her stay away didn't that mean that he didn't want them to be together?  Didn't that mean that he was trying to tell her to move on?  But how could she?  He was all she dreamt about, he was all she thought about, and he was in her heart and soul.  In a way he could be her soul mate.  What stupid revelation did she just make?  A tear slipped from her eye, she couldn't believe herself.  What had she been doing?  What had she been expecting?  That he would run to her with open arms, that he would love her back, that he would even allow himself to love her back?  He was a soldier and she found that out that day they were all held captive inside of Jam Pony, only now did she let herself believe that they could never be together.  Only now did she let herself know that they were from to different worlds, and it could never work especially since danger would be around every corner if they were to be together.   What kind of life could that be? 

She found herself entering the broken streets of Seattle.  Although the nature before her was beautiful, this part of it wasn't.  Everything around her was in shambles; people would live among cardboard boxes and sleep in alleys.  Everything just seemed so dark, and unhappy.  Sure ever since the pulse things had been this way, but not where she lived, she guessed that everywhere there was a piece of something bad there was a piece of something good.  It was weird how even though it should have been a sunny crisp morning, the gray clouds still hung over this part of town.  The weatherman may say that it was because of the wind, but somehow someway she thought that maybe those clouds where there for a reason.  That maybe the reason was a little more than the wind, that it meant something.  Maybe it was just her over active imagination but she could almost feel the storm coming.

Rachel turned her head to look beside her into a window of a grocery store, and almost fell over as she saw who was staring at her.  She gasped as she took a step back it was Alec, scary how she was just thinking about him.  She shivered although she was almost sweating from wearing the heaviest, warmest jacket she owned.  She kept telling herself to walk away and not turn back, but her legs wouldn't work.  Her legs just stayed planted upon the pavement, she would need a bulldozer to move her from that spot.  Rachel blinked a couple times trying to clear her vision; yes it was Alec all right.  He was still staring right at her, like he had never seen her before.      

Rachel took a deep breath, willing herself to turn away.  Slowly she turned away from the market, her back now towards the window she stared into seconds ago.  Letting out the breath that she had been holding he took her first step, and other steps followed.  She could feel her heart beat in pain, yet she still felt proud of herself.  She was letting him go like he did for her, and although it hurt she had to do it.  She had to let Alec go so he could be happy; after all it was all she wanted.  All she wanted was for him to be happy, if not with her then with whomever else he loved.  Tears threatened to fall, but she wouldn't cry.  For once she was going to be strong, and do the right thing.  As much as she wanted to turn back and run into his arms.  He wasn't hers anymore; he wasn't hers to begin with.   "Goodbye," she whispered as she began to walk faster retreating towards the Berrisford mansion. 

***

He had known that girl from somewhere, he didn't know where but he knew her.  Then if hit him; it was her, the one from his dream.  The one that 452 had killed, the one he loved.  His eyes widened, they made him believe that 452 had killed her, then why was she standing outside that window moments before?  Why did she recognize him?  It was her, he had to see her, he had to talk to her.  He immediately walked out of the store leaving his heaping full grocery cart he could shop later.  She was about a hundred meters away from him, he must have been thinking a lot or very slowly for her to be so far away.  But of course no human can match the speed of a transgenic soldier.  He opted to running and he caught up with her.  "Hey! Wait up!"  She stopped as if stunned to hear his voice she turned to him.  He grimaced as he saw her pained expression, what was wrong with her?  "Hey Alec," her voice was quiet. 

TBC…

Authors Note:  Aren't you proud of me? This has been the longest chapter of any fic I've written! Anyways please read and review!