The Blair Witch Project YYH STYLE!



Disclaimer

I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, The Blair Witch Project, or clam chowder.


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Whoa. Haven't written anything in a while. Just posted this to let everyone know I'm still alive ^.^;;; I was gonna put this in my other fic, "Yu Yu Hakusho Fairy Tales" (which WILL be updated...someday...), but since it's not really a fairy tale, I decided to separate it. This fic is the result of everything that built up in the four months I haven't updated. I had to give my head a chance to deflate ^^


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Agi: *plays with the zoom button on the camera* big...small...BIG...SMALL...

Yusuke: *eats clam chowder* Mmmm...chowdery...

Kuwabara: Urameshi! Why are you eating glue?

Yusuke: It's clam chowder!

Kuwabara: GLUE!

Yusuke: CHOWDER!

Kuwabara: ARMADILLO! *grabs the clam chowder and throws it in the recycling bin*

Yusuke: NOOO! *looks into the bin* WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?! You're not supposed to recycle clam chowder!

Kuwabara: Uhh...why?

Yusuke: 'Cause one day it'll come back as toilet paper or stained glass or something!

Kuwabara: Hmm...isn't that the stuff they make church windows out of?

Yusuke: Yes Kuwabara, church windows are made out of stained glass.

Kuwabara: No, I meant toilet paper.

Yusuke: -_-;;;;

Agi: *turns camera off* Hey...where are Kurama and Hiei?

Yusuke: Did you check the recycling bin?

Agi: *looks through the recycling bin* Hmm...there's some prosthetic body parts, a beehive, some nuclear sludge, and princess in here...*GASP!* WHO RECYCLED THE CLAM CHOWDER?!

Kuwabara: I did your Honor...

Agi: You're not supposed to recycle clam chowder!!

Kuwabara: ...........

Kurama: Hey...so when are we actually gonna start the "fic"?

Kuwabara: Ahh! It's Kurama's ghost!

Hiei: Hn...moron...

Kuwabara: EEEK! And phantom Hiei!

Kurama & Hiei: o_O

Agi: Where have you guys been?

Hiei: We were here the whole time, but we're just so ninja-like that we blend right into the walls.

Agi: .........k.

Kurama: ^_^

Kuwabara: Oh well...Shorty would have made a good newspaper...

Hiei: *lights Kuwabara on fire*

Yusuke: So umm...what are we doing here?

Hiei: If this is another one of your pathetic attempts at a humor fic...

Agi: Shhhh...

Hiei: ¬.¬

Agi: Well...we're gonna do...THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT!

Yusuke: Isn't that that movie about the three kids from Blair that get lost in the woods while doing a project and get attacked by a witch?

Agi: No...it's about three kids from WITCH that get lost in the woods while doing a BLAIR and get attacked by a PROJECT. Does that clear things up?

Yusuke: O.o........

Kurama: But there's four of us...

Agi: Oh well. 3...4...same thing. They both come after 5.

All: .......

Agi: Ok let's see...first you guys have to get lost in the woods.

Hiei: I thought we were already lost in the woods...

Agi: Huh? Oh. No. This is just my bathroom.

Yusuke: You grow trees in your bathroom?

Agi: No...that's just the ten foot tall stalk of fungus that's been growing in the sink for twelve years.

All: O_o

Kurama: ...why?

Agi: Because I can't fit the lawn mower through the door ^^;;;;

All: -___-;;

Kuwabara: OH MY GOSH! I'M ON FIRE!!! *jumps into the toilet*

All: ............

Agi: Anyways, somebody's gotta be the camera person.

Kuwabara: *climbs out of the toilet* Oooo! Me! Me! PICK ME~!!

Agi: ...Fine. *hands Kuwabara the camera*

Kuwabara: *inflates with joy*

Agi: Now make sure you record EVERYTHING...

Kuwabara: *nod nod*

Agi: Ok...I'll leave you guys ALL ALONE now. *flies away*

Yusuke: *points* How did she do that?

Kurama: I think her mom was half helicopter.

Yusuke: Ohhhhh...

All: .........

Kuwabara: So umm...now what?

Hiei: I dunno about you guys, but I'm going home.

Kurama: Good idea.

All: *run around in circles*

Yusuke: AHHH! We're back where we started from! Running around in a circle should have led us right out of here!

Kurama: Well...since it appears we'll be stuck here for the rest of our lives, we better build a cheap, flimsy shelter.

Yusuke: *reaches into his pocket* *pulls out a tent* How convenient!

Kurama: Hey, you wouldn't happen to have any matches in there too, would you?

Yusuke: *digs around in pocket* Nope. No matches, but I do have this campfire I've been saving for an emergency...

All: O.o

Yusuke: ^_^

Kuwabara: ....now what?

Hiei: Let's go to sleep.

All: K.

The next morning...

Kuwabara: *wakes up* *pulls a sock out of his mouth* Hey! What's the big idea?

Hiei: You SNORE as loud as a DEMOLITION DERBY!

Kuwabara: Huff huff...

Yusuke: *steps outside* *GASP!* OH MY GOD! *points to a pile of rocks* WE'RE DOOMED!

Kurama: *looks at the rocks* Wonder how they got there...

Hiei: Maybe the rock fairy came and put them there to accent the lovely color of this tent.

All: ..........

Hiei: Or maybe some crazy witch person made them appear.

Yusuke: Well, now that we know we're in grave danger...wanna take a walk?

All: OK! ^___^

5 hours later...

Kuwabara: I'm tired. Let's stop and rest by these creepy looking trees.

Yusuke: Hey look! There's scary stick dolls hanging from these trees!

Kurama: Eek! Maybe we should run away all scared and stuff...

All: *run away*

A heroic knight: *rides up out of nowhere* HAVE ANY OF YOU SEEN A PRINCESS?!

Hiei: Did you check the recycling bin?

Knight: The recycling bin...? YES! OF COURSE! Why didn't I think of that earlier?! I'M COMING FOR YOU MY PRINCESS! *points in a random direction* TALLY-HO! *rides off*

Kurama: That was...odd...

20 miles away...

Knight: *digs through the bin* PRINCESS! I've found you! ........WHO RECYCLED THE CLAM CHOWDER?!

Anyway...

Yusuke: Look! We made it back to the tent!

Kurama: Strange how we can find our way back here, but not out of this forest...

Yusuke: Hey...isn't one of us supposed to die right around here in the plot somewhere?

Hiei: I nominate Kuwabara!

Kuwabara: I don't wanna die T_T

Yusuke: Yeah, and then we find your remains in a bundle of sticks in the morning...

All: Ewwww....

Kurama: Hmm...I don't know about you guys, but I don't want to step in a pile of Kuwabara's vital organs as soon as I wake up.

All: *nod nod*

Yusuke: Alright, we won't kill anybody off then.

Kuwabara: *holds hands up* PRAISE THE LORD! *gets struck by lightning*

All: o_____o

Kuwabara: x_x

Yusuke: He's not dead is he?

Kuwabara: *twitches violently*

Hiei: Oh he's dead all right, those are just the nerve reflexes.

Kuwabara: Shut up you little gnome! I am NOT dead!

Hiei: *KICK*

Kuwabara: x____x

Kurama: Hey...did you guys hear something?

All: *listen*

Yusuke: There's something moving around in those bushes!

Kuwabara: Let's kill it!

All: *leap into the bushes with sticks bared*

Yusuke: *points stick at a shadowy figure* Who are you?!

Shadowy figure: *in a Swedish accent* I'm zee Blair Veetch, ya?

All: .........

Yusuke: Umm...who are you REALLY?

Shadowy figure: Ugh...fine. *steps forward*

Kuwabara: Hey! It's that guy! With the...creepy...ness.

Karasu: Umm...yeah. .....KURAMA!!! *latches onto Kurama's arm*

Kurama: *SHRIEK*

Hiei: *beats Karasu with a stick* GET OFF HIM!

Yusuke: So...what are YOU doing out here?

Karasu: Why, I'm the Blair Witch! *poses*

All: O____o

Karasu: *sigh* It's a summer job. Please don't tell Toguro.

Agi: *flies in* Hey guys! Did you have fun on your little adventure thing?

All: NO.

Agi: Good ^^ Well, I just came by to say that the government called, and is willing to offer large sums of money for your rare footage!

All: YAY!

Yusuke: We're rich!

All: *dance around happily*

Kuwabara: *pokes camera* Hey...how do you turn this thing on?

All: ................



THE END


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And the moral of this story is to never recycle clam chowder.