Asakura Hao would marry me? I still couldn't get over what I overheard in Hao's conversation at that moment. I could feel Tamao's gaze on me, and I immediately felt the urge to do something about it.
I burst into the living room angrily. "Never! I will never marry you!"
Everyone, including Hao himself stopped talking.
"No one understands…" I wiped a tear angrily away from my eye. "I am contented to live with Yoh's memories. Remembering him makes me happy, and I don't need another person to fill in his shoes. I'm happy!"
"How can you be happy when you let his memories haunt you like a ghost?" he asked calmly.
"I love him!" I screamed. "I will never forget him!"
"I'm not asking you to forget him. I'm asking you to move on," he said.
"With you?" I asked spitefully.
"With me," he said, nodding emphatically. "Only with me. Any other man who dares to take your hand for marriage would have to deal with me first."
I felt my face turn warm when I felt the shocked gazes of the Asakura elders.
"Then we'll have to ask you first to prove yourself if you are worthy enough a man for her," decided Kino, crossing her arms in front of her chest.
To my surprise, something flickered in his face- one that could have resembled hurt, but I wasn't sure.
"Do you think I would do anything to hurt her?" he asked quietly.
Words that made the defenses within me crumble. I stepped back, then fled into my room.
"Ms. Anna!" called Tamao, but to my relief, she didn't follow me. Kino was quick to restrain her.
It had been more than a couple of hours since I threw myself on my bed and cried my heart out. Brownie was peering at me, as if bothered by my muffled cries.
With Herculean strength, I lifted my head and forced myself to smile. "S-Sorry, Brownie. I…I can't play with you now."
He mewed, whining. I brushed his fur with my finger. "B-Brownie, I don't know what to do. H-Hao wants to marry me…and I know I should refuse. My heart is for Yoh only – I told him, myself and everyone else that I would love only him. A-And marrying his brother…"
I looked at my wet pillowcase. "I know I wished that I would find a man who will love me the way Yoh did. It was a stupid wish…why ever did I do that?"
Brownie purred and crawled next to my cheek. It settled there and slept.
I smiled through my tears. "Marry me, Brownie. At least I'm sure that you would marry me for the right reason- you love me, and I love you. Not just because your brother made you promise in his death that you would look after me."
"Does Brownie have erections?" asked a familiar voice.
My eyes immediately went to the window. There Hao stood, smiling uncertainly at me.
I rubbed my eyes shamefully. "Unlike you, I believe that in relationships and in the dictionary, love comes before lust. I'm not a sex maniac like you."
"I was just trying to make you laugh," he said, letting himself into my bedroom. "You've cried for more than two hours and a half. Your tear ducts have released enough water to power Izumo hydroelectrically."
"You made me cry," I said, trying to grasp my sane mind back.
"I didn't. I offered you something that most men would deny women – my name. Then you burst into tears," he said. "But if you believe I caused your sadness…I'm so sorry then."
"Hao…" I looked at him sideways and saw the sincere regret in his eyes.
"Anna, believe me but I really do want to marry you," he said, his words carefully chosen.
"Because Yoh said so."
"Yoh asked me to look after you. I would marry you in my own initiative, with my own reason."
"What reason?" I had to ask that, although I was afraid of what his answer would be.
He paused, then sighed. "Because I have erections and Brownie doesn't."
I felt my mouth widen, and something resembling a chuckle come out of it. I was…laughing.
Hao smiled. "So…Anna, will you marry me?"
I looked at the eyes of the man who could anger me, make me cry, then make me laugh so effortlessly. The one who encouraged me to continue walking the path of life. Hao Asakura, whom I detest vocally and care for secretly.
"Why should I?" I asked, masking my tone with iciness.
He grinned. "I'll give you a hundred and one reasons."
"What are these for?" I asked the next morning when he arrived in my room, holding a basket of roses.
"I'm courting you," he shrugged.
"E-Excuse me?"
"My first reason why you should marry me- because I would shower you with flowers everyday," he smiled.
"T-Then I should have just thought of marrying a florist instead." But I accepted the basket. "And don't tell me that the florist doesn't have erections."
He grinned devilishly. "Not as developed as mine."
I felt my cheeks turn warm. It wouldn't do that I indulge him in wit exchanges- he would never run out of things to say, especially now that he had taken a liking upon the word 'erection'.
"My second reason is because I cooked you breakfast," he said, turning to the tray on my bedside table.
"Is that edible?" I asked suspiciously.
"That's my third reason- the breakfast I cooked is edible."
I sampled the pancake, and my face soured.
"I never said it was delicious," he said quickly. "I-It was my first time to cook."
"Too sweet," I complained.
"That's how sweet I am."
"It's nauseating."
Hao chuckled. "You were able to swallow it, didn't you?" He started to peel the orange on my plate.
I watched him, bewildered. "Stop that."
"You want me to peel the apple then?" he asked.
"No. Why are you doing these things?"
"I told you, I'm courting you."
"Do you honestly think these things would make me change my mind?" I asked, amused.
"Would you rather me say something I'm sure you won't believe?" he asked.
I shrugged. "Rock my world."
His eyes went back on the fruit he was peeling. "I think in love with you."
I felt my heart stop its beating – in fact, I could have sworn the world stopped moving. Everything was still, except for Hao, who was imperturbably engrossed with peeling the oranges.
"Liar," I finally found my voice.
"Next time, don't ask for the truth then when you won't believe it," he said, voice a little sharp.
"Do you really believe that someone like you is capable of loving?" I asked, desperately gripping what was left of my cold defenses.
"I just did," he said curtly.
I looked down, not knowing what to say. Hao thinks he loves me? How? Why? Since when? For the first time in my entire life, I was at lost as to what to do next. I had been so used to choose detachment for my defense mechanism as my best shroud from unexpected emotions, but something as unexpected as this? I wasn't equipped to deal with these kind of confrontations.
"Here." Hao handed me the orange he peeled as if he said nothing significant. He then realized that I was crying again.
"Damn. Anna, what is it with me that always makes you cry? Do you really hate me that much that I end up making you bawl every time?" he asked.
"Leave me alone," I said, but to my dismay, my voice broke.
"Do you really think I would leave you, when you're looking like that?" he asked.
Hao, stop doing this. Stop being so caring. I'm supposed to hate you. My thoughts couldn't find an outlet though. The strength to even open my mouth has left me.
He sat down beside me and looked at me earnestly. "I can never be like the first man you loved and maybe your feelings would never fade, but I don't mind. I just don't want you to be alone."
But how can I hate him when he speaks like that?
His palm found its way to my wet cheeks. "Let's give it a try, Anna. If you feel that it will be better for you to be alone, I'll go. You'll never ever see me again, I promise."
It was so easy to say "yes"; my heart was all for it. However, a part of my mind still had doubts.
And he sensed it. He got up. "Come with me, Anna."
I got up, puzzled.
He led me to Yoh's grave- a place that I never tried visiting even once. I took a step back, but his hand stopped me.
"H-Hao…" My eyes were wide in fear and sorrow.
"Find your way back, Anna. Wherever that 'back' is, it's for you to decide." He bowed at his brother's grave and walked away.
I bit my lip as the figure disappeared. I then turned to the grave. No one had tried bringing me here after the accident, afraid that it would do nothing good to me. I wasn't even allowed to see Yoh's funeral. And now, after almost four months since that fateful day, I was with Yoh again.
"Yoh…" I called.
His spirit suddenly appeared. "Hello Anna!"
I stifled a gasp. "I…I didn't summon you."
Amidamaru appeared too. "Hao told us you were coming."
"Hai!" agreed Yoh. "Ne, Anna, is he taking good care of you?"
I nodded. "H-He is."
"I told you, Anna. My brother is a good man," said my fiancée proudly.
"He wants me to marry him," I admitted.
Yoh's eyes lit up. "Good!"
"H-Huh?"
He grinned at me. "Anna, I would hate the thought of you left alone all your life. Don't you think it's time to let go and be happy?"
"B-But…" My eyes shook. "I love you, Yoh."
He blinked, then blushed. "Thanks. But if you love me, if you really really love me, do one thing for me."
"Anything."
"Be happy," he said. "And I've watched over you. I know he can make you happy."
"Yoh…"
"He is the last person in the world who will deliberately hurt you." His hand touched my cheek. "I know, because I can feel it."
"You're…you're giving me the blessing to give my heart to someone else?" I whispered.
"There are lots of love in your heart, Anna. It's not right to be selfish and keep them all," he explained. "Especially when I know that my brother would die happily just to have a fraction of it."
"Hao…cares for me?"
"You don't know?" asked Yoh amused. "Aniki has been showing you his love for you in a thousand ways and you do not know?"
I was speechless.
"He's madly in love with you," asserted my fiancée. "He once told me that he never believed in love and in the human heart. Then he met you, and you made all his thousand-year-old beliefs crumble in a moment."
I got up shakily. "I still can't believe…"
Yoh grinned at me. "Go back home. He's waiting."
"B-But…" I looked at him.
He smiled. "Does spirits have erections?"
My eyes crinkled into a smile. "Yoh…"
"What I mean to say is, I'm dead, and he isn't. And he's ready to devote his entire life to you unconditionally. That kind of love comes rarer than blue moons, so why don't you seize your chance?" he said. "I am happy that you remember me, but memories, beautiful as they may seem, are not enough. You're still alive, and I want you to enjoy a good life that he would be able to provide you."
"Yoh…"
He nodded.
I rubbed my eyes. "I'm sorry for taking so long to let go of you. In the process, I hurt myself and the people around me. I…I hurt you and Hao too." My heart started to lighten.
He grinned as he slowly disappeared. "Be happy, Anna. That's all I ask of you."
I nodded. "I will, Yoh. I promise you that."
I smiled at the grave before walking back to the house. "I'm…I'm going back home."
Last chapter out soon!
