Part III
Summers' Residence
"Clem."
"Spike. Good to see ya better."
"Oh, Buffy, Giles is on his way over."
"I thought he was still resting?"
"Well, he said since he was doin' better and all, but you know Giles like never takes a break... well, at least not while he's here." Dawn said as she came down the stairs.
Can't say I blame him Buffy thought to herself.
"Hey niblet." Spike's greeting went intentionally unnoticed by the younger Summers.
"He say what time?" Buffy said in a attempt at changing the direction of conversation.
"Around nine thirty."
"Good. I wanted to talk to him anyway. I'll be right back!" she yelled as she dashed up the stairs.
"So Spike. Where ya been?" Dawn asked while self- conscienceless avoiding why he left so abruptly without giving anyone the heads up.
"Long, long boring story Niblet."
"Well, next time you decide to just take off, you better tell someone Spike. Besides, I pretty much got the cliff's notes version from Xander. I wasn't sure if you were coming back. Too much of that goin on around here, ya know? But then I wasn't so sure I wanted you back. But Buffy, she seems okay with... everything. But if it ever happens again, I will hurt you. Vamp with a chip or no." she replied, throwing caution to the wind.
"Never again. I swear."
"Well, okay. I guess I can forgive you. For now." she said giving him a small smile.
"Um, you left this. Thought you might want it back." Buffy said as she descended the stairs carrying his leather coat.
Spike looked at it for a second, then remembered when he left it in the first pace. "Thanks, pet." he said lowering his eyes as he was handed the coat.
"Well guys, I got a poker match to attend. Got a hankerin' for some kittens." Clem said as he moved from the couch to the door.
"Eww." Dawn and Buffy said in unison.
Clem gave a little wave and exited.
"Buffy, you sure you wanna tell Giles bout this, I mean us?"
"I'm sure. Besides, I told him about us before. Now all I gotta say is that it's not over."
*******************
"Giles, how are you." Buffy said gibing him a hug.
"I'm fine, but please don't hug too tightly. Not just yet."
"Oh, sorry."
"Quite all right, Buffy." Giles said with a little smile.
"Hey Giles. You look good."
"Yes well, I feel much better."
"Well, since this being 'greeting time' and all, I think now's the time to show you our special guest."
"Who?"
"Rupert." Spike said stepping in the living room from the kitchen, with his head down.
"Spike? well, uh how are things?" Spike was shocked by his greeting, and figured that no one clued the watcher in on what had transpired between him and Buffy.
"Ok, but uh, I'd like to talk to you alone, if that's okay?"
"Yes, quite all right. To the back porch?" Spike nodded in reply and turned back towards the kitchen.
"Well, we'll be out back if you need us."
"Yeah, okay." Buffy said with a look of perplexity.
********************
Spike abruptly sat down on the back porch and lazily took out a cigarette as Giles slowly sank down to the steps.
"So, what did you want to talk about?" Giles said while looking at him, and Spike just stared out into the yard.
"Is it possible for one to feel fantastic yet horrible all over at the same time?" he said as he exhaled a stream of smoke.
"Well, I'm not exactly sure what you mean, but if you wanted to talk to me about your, uh, relations with Buffy, I already know."
"Rupert, I'm bloody sure she didn't tell you the half of it. But, there is something I want to tell you that I'm not sure on how to tell her."
"Well?"
"Well, whether or not you noticed my absence during Red's ordeal, I was on a little trip, so to speak." Giles just looked at him encouragingly.
"Buffy and I got into a fight, and I left to make a change...." Spike began to laugh maniacally. Giles gave him a worried look.
"I think I'm gonna stop beating around the bush now. I tried to make her admit loving me. when that didn't work, I left with full intentions of getting the chip outta my head. There was this demon who said he could help me, but I had to prove myself worthy first, and I did. Got the scars to prove it. But of instead of removing the chip, oh you'll bloody laugh your ass off at this one, mate. The bastard 'restored' my soul. How do you like that?! Huh, I need a drink bout now."
"Well, uh, do you consider this a good thing?" Giles said while looking for a reaction from him.
"I don't know who or what the hell I am anymore. Haven't for a long time now. Too many areas of gray inside, you know? I think about the things I've done, and it disgusts me. Then I think about how I've been helpin' the lot of you 'cause I honestly wanted to, I feel better. But then I think of how I hurt ---- hurt the person that I love the most, and I want to die."
"Spike, perhaps you're being too hard on yourself."
"No, I- you don't understand." he said as he flicked away the but of the cigarette.
Giles felt a strange sympathy for him. Probably because of the last time he saw him, they were acting like father and son.
"All I need to understand is that you make Buffy happy. That's all that really matters." He said, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "But how's the whole soul thing for you? You're not gonna be all broody like Angel are you?"
"I feel more like that sod William everyday now. Feel like writing bloody poetry. Turnin' into a more of poof than Peaches."
*****************
"So, what do you think they're talking about out there?" Buffy asked the younger Summers as nonchalantly as possible.
"Well, you , duh. Spike's probably asking for approval and what not. Since Giles is the whole father figure type."
"It's not like he's proposing. Probably manly stuff. Maybe Giles can talk to Xander about this whole situation?"
"Buffy, who are you kidding?"
"Yeah, guess you're right."
"Buffy, I know we haven't had much time to talk considering.... but what happened or didn't happen with Spike, it was like an accident, right?"
"Yeah. Spike wasn't trying to purposely hurt me. Even when he wanted to hurt me or kill me whatever, he never could. I'd always kick his ass first." Buffy said with a wry smile. "Besides, I've died like three times already. Really hard to find a guy who's willing to stick around, not that that should be a sole reason to stay with someone cause-"
"Buffy, I get the point. Besides, all I have to do is watch you and learn from all of your glorious mistakes." Dawn said sarcastically.
******************
"So, are you going to tell Buffy about your soul and how you obtained it?" Giles asked while heading towards the back door.
"When the times right, yea."
"But can you lose it? Like Angel?"
"No, unlike Peaches, my soul is a 'gift', not a curse. 'Sides, still got the chip in my head, so no worries." Spike said while opening the door for Giles.
Good to know Giles thought to himself.
******************
an hour later...
"Well, I'm going to be on my way now. I need to get some rest. Anya wanted me to go over some things about the Magic Box expenses and I thought I should see how Willow was doing."
"Well, I'll stop by Xander's too tomorrow. But Giles?"
"Yes Buffy."
"You look good with contacts, not that the glasses weren't good you know, made you look dignified. But still, makes you look younger. Kinda reminds me of Ripper." Buffy said with knowing grin.
"Yeah Giles. Totally cool without the glasses." Dawn concurred.
"Spike." Giles said with an understanding nod.
"Rupert." Spike said returning the nod with a knowing nod.
"Oh, wait! Uh, Buffy, would you mind if I spent the night as Lisa's and I already have permission from her mom and Giles can I get a ride?" Dawn exclaimed in one, run on sentence.
"Uh, well, if it's okay with Giles, I mean about the ride part. But yeah, you can go." she said with a shrug.
"Oh, bless you!" she said hurling herself into her sister's arms. "Thanks a bunch. I just had to get outta here, no offense."
"No problem."
"So, Giles? Ya mind?"
"Sure, Dawn. But Buffy, a moment please?" Buffy followed him into the dining room.
"How are you going to tell Xander about Spike being back. I'm certain he won't take it well." Giles said with a worried look.
"I don't know, but I think he can deal, maybe over time. Might take a couple of, decades if I'm lucky."
"Right. I'm sure it'll work out." Giles said while giving her a hug.
******************
Xander's place that night....
"I brought you some juice, Will." Xander said as he handed a cup of cranberry juice to a dreary eyed Willow, sitting up on his bed.
"Thanks, Xander." He gave her a nod and a smile and began to turn away.
"Xander?"
"Yeah?"
"Well, are you going out?"
"Well, I don't have to. You want me to be all stay inny and talk?" He said while walking back towards her.
"Yeah, I mean, I'm not really in a talking mood but maybe we can watch a movie? But honestly, I'd just like to sit with you and enjoy the quiet." she she said with somber eyes.
"Of course, Willow. Nothing better than being with my best bud." He said as he sat down next to her.
"You know, no words could ever express how ashamed I am of myself. Sometimes, it's just so hard Xander. I think about Tara, and then what I did to Warren... but what I did to him, it just doesn't seem to phase me." Xander replied by showing his love and support by placing his hand on top of hers and giving a gentle squeeze.
"What scares me the most is how I tried to hurt you guys. I tried to destroy the only family I have." Tears trailed down her face and her voice became weepy. "I don't think I'll ever live that down. There's no way you guys could ever really forgive me. I don't really expect you to. I've been thinking that maybe, maybe it'd be best if I go away for a little while."
"Willow, no, look, you belong here with us. We're your friends and we love you and we care about you. We are going to help you through this, okay? Whatever it takes." He said while looking at her with serious, brown eyes.
"Xander, I honestly think it's best that I go." she said looking past him.
"Not so much, Will. The last thing you need is to be alone. I'm not leaving. You're my Willow, and I'll always love you and support you, no matter what." He said, and gave his trademark Xander hug.
Summers' Residence
"Clem."
"Spike. Good to see ya better."
"Oh, Buffy, Giles is on his way over."
"I thought he was still resting?"
"Well, he said since he was doin' better and all, but you know Giles like never takes a break... well, at least not while he's here." Dawn said as she came down the stairs.
Can't say I blame him Buffy thought to herself.
"Hey niblet." Spike's greeting went intentionally unnoticed by the younger Summers.
"He say what time?" Buffy said in a attempt at changing the direction of conversation.
"Around nine thirty."
"Good. I wanted to talk to him anyway. I'll be right back!" she yelled as she dashed up the stairs.
"So Spike. Where ya been?" Dawn asked while self- conscienceless avoiding why he left so abruptly without giving anyone the heads up.
"Long, long boring story Niblet."
"Well, next time you decide to just take off, you better tell someone Spike. Besides, I pretty much got the cliff's notes version from Xander. I wasn't sure if you were coming back. Too much of that goin on around here, ya know? But then I wasn't so sure I wanted you back. But Buffy, she seems okay with... everything. But if it ever happens again, I will hurt you. Vamp with a chip or no." she replied, throwing caution to the wind.
"Never again. I swear."
"Well, okay. I guess I can forgive you. For now." she said giving him a small smile.
"Um, you left this. Thought you might want it back." Buffy said as she descended the stairs carrying his leather coat.
Spike looked at it for a second, then remembered when he left it in the first pace. "Thanks, pet." he said lowering his eyes as he was handed the coat.
"Well guys, I got a poker match to attend. Got a hankerin' for some kittens." Clem said as he moved from the couch to the door.
"Eww." Dawn and Buffy said in unison.
Clem gave a little wave and exited.
"Buffy, you sure you wanna tell Giles bout this, I mean us?"
"I'm sure. Besides, I told him about us before. Now all I gotta say is that it's not over."
*******************
"Giles, how are you." Buffy said gibing him a hug.
"I'm fine, but please don't hug too tightly. Not just yet."
"Oh, sorry."
"Quite all right, Buffy." Giles said with a little smile.
"Hey Giles. You look good."
"Yes well, I feel much better."
"Well, since this being 'greeting time' and all, I think now's the time to show you our special guest."
"Who?"
"Rupert." Spike said stepping in the living room from the kitchen, with his head down.
"Spike? well, uh how are things?" Spike was shocked by his greeting, and figured that no one clued the watcher in on what had transpired between him and Buffy.
"Ok, but uh, I'd like to talk to you alone, if that's okay?"
"Yes, quite all right. To the back porch?" Spike nodded in reply and turned back towards the kitchen.
"Well, we'll be out back if you need us."
"Yeah, okay." Buffy said with a look of perplexity.
********************
Spike abruptly sat down on the back porch and lazily took out a cigarette as Giles slowly sank down to the steps.
"So, what did you want to talk about?" Giles said while looking at him, and Spike just stared out into the yard.
"Is it possible for one to feel fantastic yet horrible all over at the same time?" he said as he exhaled a stream of smoke.
"Well, I'm not exactly sure what you mean, but if you wanted to talk to me about your, uh, relations with Buffy, I already know."
"Rupert, I'm bloody sure she didn't tell you the half of it. But, there is something I want to tell you that I'm not sure on how to tell her."
"Well?"
"Well, whether or not you noticed my absence during Red's ordeal, I was on a little trip, so to speak." Giles just looked at him encouragingly.
"Buffy and I got into a fight, and I left to make a change...." Spike began to laugh maniacally. Giles gave him a worried look.
"I think I'm gonna stop beating around the bush now. I tried to make her admit loving me. when that didn't work, I left with full intentions of getting the chip outta my head. There was this demon who said he could help me, but I had to prove myself worthy first, and I did. Got the scars to prove it. But of instead of removing the chip, oh you'll bloody laugh your ass off at this one, mate. The bastard 'restored' my soul. How do you like that?! Huh, I need a drink bout now."
"Well, uh, do you consider this a good thing?" Giles said while looking for a reaction from him.
"I don't know who or what the hell I am anymore. Haven't for a long time now. Too many areas of gray inside, you know? I think about the things I've done, and it disgusts me. Then I think about how I've been helpin' the lot of you 'cause I honestly wanted to, I feel better. But then I think of how I hurt ---- hurt the person that I love the most, and I want to die."
"Spike, perhaps you're being too hard on yourself."
"No, I- you don't understand." he said as he flicked away the but of the cigarette.
Giles felt a strange sympathy for him. Probably because of the last time he saw him, they were acting like father and son.
"All I need to understand is that you make Buffy happy. That's all that really matters." He said, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "But how's the whole soul thing for you? You're not gonna be all broody like Angel are you?"
"I feel more like that sod William everyday now. Feel like writing bloody poetry. Turnin' into a more of poof than Peaches."
*****************
"So, what do you think they're talking about out there?" Buffy asked the younger Summers as nonchalantly as possible.
"Well, you , duh. Spike's probably asking for approval and what not. Since Giles is the whole father figure type."
"It's not like he's proposing. Probably manly stuff. Maybe Giles can talk to Xander about this whole situation?"
"Buffy, who are you kidding?"
"Yeah, guess you're right."
"Buffy, I know we haven't had much time to talk considering.... but what happened or didn't happen with Spike, it was like an accident, right?"
"Yeah. Spike wasn't trying to purposely hurt me. Even when he wanted to hurt me or kill me whatever, he never could. I'd always kick his ass first." Buffy said with a wry smile. "Besides, I've died like three times already. Really hard to find a guy who's willing to stick around, not that that should be a sole reason to stay with someone cause-"
"Buffy, I get the point. Besides, all I have to do is watch you and learn from all of your glorious mistakes." Dawn said sarcastically.
******************
"So, are you going to tell Buffy about your soul and how you obtained it?" Giles asked while heading towards the back door.
"When the times right, yea."
"But can you lose it? Like Angel?"
"No, unlike Peaches, my soul is a 'gift', not a curse. 'Sides, still got the chip in my head, so no worries." Spike said while opening the door for Giles.
Good to know Giles thought to himself.
******************
an hour later...
"Well, I'm going to be on my way now. I need to get some rest. Anya wanted me to go over some things about the Magic Box expenses and I thought I should see how Willow was doing."
"Well, I'll stop by Xander's too tomorrow. But Giles?"
"Yes Buffy."
"You look good with contacts, not that the glasses weren't good you know, made you look dignified. But still, makes you look younger. Kinda reminds me of Ripper." Buffy said with knowing grin.
"Yeah Giles. Totally cool without the glasses." Dawn concurred.
"Spike." Giles said with an understanding nod.
"Rupert." Spike said returning the nod with a knowing nod.
"Oh, wait! Uh, Buffy, would you mind if I spent the night as Lisa's and I already have permission from her mom and Giles can I get a ride?" Dawn exclaimed in one, run on sentence.
"Uh, well, if it's okay with Giles, I mean about the ride part. But yeah, you can go." she said with a shrug.
"Oh, bless you!" she said hurling herself into her sister's arms. "Thanks a bunch. I just had to get outta here, no offense."
"No problem."
"So, Giles? Ya mind?"
"Sure, Dawn. But Buffy, a moment please?" Buffy followed him into the dining room.
"How are you going to tell Xander about Spike being back. I'm certain he won't take it well." Giles said with a worried look.
"I don't know, but I think he can deal, maybe over time. Might take a couple of, decades if I'm lucky."
"Right. I'm sure it'll work out." Giles said while giving her a hug.
******************
Xander's place that night....
"I brought you some juice, Will." Xander said as he handed a cup of cranberry juice to a dreary eyed Willow, sitting up on his bed.
"Thanks, Xander." He gave her a nod and a smile and began to turn away.
"Xander?"
"Yeah?"
"Well, are you going out?"
"Well, I don't have to. You want me to be all stay inny and talk?" He said while walking back towards her.
"Yeah, I mean, I'm not really in a talking mood but maybe we can watch a movie? But honestly, I'd just like to sit with you and enjoy the quiet." she she said with somber eyes.
"Of course, Willow. Nothing better than being with my best bud." He said as he sat down next to her.
"You know, no words could ever express how ashamed I am of myself. Sometimes, it's just so hard Xander. I think about Tara, and then what I did to Warren... but what I did to him, it just doesn't seem to phase me." Xander replied by showing his love and support by placing his hand on top of hers and giving a gentle squeeze.
"What scares me the most is how I tried to hurt you guys. I tried to destroy the only family I have." Tears trailed down her face and her voice became weepy. "I don't think I'll ever live that down. There's no way you guys could ever really forgive me. I don't really expect you to. I've been thinking that maybe, maybe it'd be best if I go away for a little while."
"Willow, no, look, you belong here with us. We're your friends and we love you and we care about you. We are going to help you through this, okay? Whatever it takes." He said while looking at her with serious, brown eyes.
"Xander, I honestly think it's best that I go." she said looking past him.
"Not so much, Will. The last thing you need is to be alone. I'm not leaving. You're my Willow, and I'll always love you and support you, no matter what." He said, and gave his trademark Xander hug.
