Alone and Ignored
Adapted from Yoake Mae's 'Four Seasons'
Written By: MoonPaper
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Dareka wo mamoru koto nante
Kantan ni dekinai ne
Kimi ni furuame mo
Tomerarenai yo
Dakedo akirametaku wa nai
Chippokena yuuki demo
Protecting someone
Is not an easy thing to do, is it?
I can't stop the rain
From falling on your head either.
Even with only a little courage--
I don't want to give up.
- Namida wa Shitte iru [Tears Know]
Rurouni Kenshin Ending Theme
"Tatoe hitori demo, kimi no koto shinjite itai sonna shunkan ni ... kono sekai wa ugokidasu..." Ayami sung to the song as she danced around her room. It was her safe haven, she could do anything she wanted in it, things she loved to do but wouldn't be caught dead doing. She danced, her body lithe and bending to the music, however slow, or fast, it was. She spun one circle more just as the song ended, and came face to face with herself in the mirror.
She was about to look away again, disgusted, but the music had given her some form of daring, her dance had given her power, as if it was ritual that could give her life. She had long hair, unlike the rest of her family- except for Akira, who could tie his in a short ponytail if he didn't gel it- her hair was black, like the rest of her family's as well, but she had green eyes. Everyone in her family had black eyes, except for her. It made her wonder, whether she really was a Sendoh. Sometimes, she would dream of having a family who would love her, and be happy to have her back...
But she snapped herself backed into reality, and looked away from the mirror disgustedly again. She stood up, and went out of her room. Not even saying anything, she left the house. 'They wouldn't miss me anyway...' She looked at their house, a small, everyday Japanese home. Her room's light was off- she was the one living right under the roof. The living room light was on, where Akira, Jiro and her father was. Her mother and Kanjou were in the kitchen or in the den- playing or something. She sighed, and walked in the direction of Kanagawa Central Park. She fingered her several earrings- she had seven on her right and five on her left- and wrapped her jacket tighter around her.
She was still wearing her old one, the same one she wore since two years ago, and it was getting tighter now- as if it wasn't tight enough already. Sighing, she walked along the winding paths and sat down on a bench a few metres away from a lamp post. She sighed, and leant her head back blinking back her tears. Everyday, it was like this... except that tonight, for some reason, she felt worse than usual. Then she remembered, with a start. the date was November 23. She sighed and completely broke down now. November 23. It was her birthday. Blinded by her tears, she thought things through. She could just confront them altogether. Tell them, and shout at them, and make them guilty- or she could just pretend as always... as if nothing was wrong. Last year, they had remembered her birthday, even if it was two weeks later...
Then something nudged her from the back of her mind. The choice trhat would make them feel worse- worse than shouting, worse than running away... she could-
Ayami looked at the horizon, beyond the trees and bushes of Kanagawa central park. She saw the cold, calm water of the canal there... She sighed, shook her head and tried to push it away. But the feeling was too strong, and she found herself walking to the simple bridge on top of it. It was quite deep- it had rained heavily for the past week, and the freezing water was sure to end her life quickly... autumn was quite cold...
She found herself looking at the onyx surface of the water, and then, sitting on the bridge wall. She sighed and looked up at the starry sky. There was no time for goodbyes. She then pushed herself off. The feeling of air whipping around her was brief- then, she felt a jerk- her left arm was caught on something! She opened her eyes, and came face to face with bright blue eyes and a strained face. Then, with a start, she recognized him- Kenji Fujima, wasn't it? The captain of Shoyo! She gave a gasp both because she was shocked- he was saving her life, and at her recognition. Suddenly, she felt herself falling, and she wondered if he had let go. But she found herself sitting on the cold asphalt. He was panting, and massaging his left arm as well.
"What in the world were you thinking!!" She cringed inwardly at the sound of his voice, and looked at him levelly. "I was thinking... I was thinking how nice it would be... to just float... to be embraced by the water..." He looked at her like she was mad. Then, in a much softer tone, he pulled her up and checked her for any bruises. "What's your name? What happened?" She looked at him, her eyes blank. He was shocked at how... empty they were. (A/N: You know, in the anime, when there are no shiny shiny stuff in their eyes, and they are all dull?) "Sendoh Ayami..."
Fujima looked at her. Clearly, she was in no condition to walk around the city by herself. "Where do you live? Are you related to Sendoh Akira?" She nodded. Fujima scanned his brain, for anything, where Sendoh might live- but nothing. He sighed and looked at her. "Do you want to sit and talk aout it?" No response. He sighed and guided her to the nearest bench. "Please, just calm down. Now. Take a deep breath, and tell me. What happened?" He was expecting tears, but not as much as she gave out. She just sat there, by herself, and cried her heart out into her hands.
Fujima fumbled for anything, and emerged with a handkerchief, which he offered to her, and which she gladly took, wiping her face. "Nobody..." He leaned forward, trying to hear what she was mumbling, but the only words that made sense to him were. "Nobody cares" and "Always like that" He sighed. "Sendoh-san, please, you have to tell me what's wrong..." She took a deep breath and calmed down, though he noticed that she was clutching her fist so tightly that blood was coming out from the side. She was shaking too. With teary, angry eyes, she told him everything.
"And there was another time, when they forgot about me and I was stranded... in.. yawn.. the... zoo..." Fujima looked at the girl, who was suddenly quiet. They were both still sitting on the bench, and loooking up at the trees, while he listened to her. But all of a sudden, she had stopped talking. He looked at her, and noticed that she was asleep, her face tear- stained and pale.
He sighed and shook his head. He could hardly believe that such a smiling guy as Sendoh could have a family so strange... and a sister so.. at loss... He looked at her, and then at his watch. The dorms in Shoyo would be closed already. After all, it was already two o'clock in the morning. He sighed. "What to do?" And it didn't sem like her family was looing for her either. Either everything she told me was a lie, and she's done this before, or they didn't even notice she was gone. He thought, and he looked at the sleeping form beside him, before taking out his cell phone and dialing the directory number. "Hello, good evening, how may we help you?" He sat up. "Uh, Hai. Can you help me look for an Akira Sendoh's number? Kanagawa perfecture." .....
"Thank you, good night."
"Aah."
Fujima looked at the scribbled number in his hands, and quickly sms-ed (texted) Sendoh. Almost immediately, there was a reply. "Fujima-san!! Thank goodness! I noticed she was gone, but my parents were already asleep! Where in the park are you? I'm on my way there!" Fujima sighed. "Well, Ayami, it seems that your Nii-chan does care for you, you know." In reply, Ayami only curled up tighter and moved her head. He shook his head and smiled.
Soon, Sendoh, on his bicycle, was in front of them, looking very concerned and anxious. "Is she alright?" Fujima nodded, but stopped him. "Sendoh- She tried to commit suicide." Akira never looked so shocked before. "What?" Fujima nodded. "She treid to jump into the canal. I just caught her in time. When I asked her what was wrong, she broke down crying for just about... oh, half an hour or so..." Akira looked at the young man in front of him. "And?" He croaked out. Fujima sighed. "And, all I could hear was "Nobody cares" and "Always like that". Oh, and did I forget to tell you that today's her birthday? It seems to me, that from what she's been telling me, that none of you pay her any real attention..."
Sendoh was pale now, paler than before, and he was leaning against a tree, as if he was too weak to stand. Fujima shook his head and sighed. "I have no idea, but it seems to me that she really needs someone to be there for her. ANyway, I'd better be going now, I'ts three in the morning. We've still got Winter Tournament practice tomorrow." Akira gave him a shaky smile, and he walked off, leaving brother and sister.
A/N: So, how was this story? I found it really nice to write about!!! Please, please, please, review!!!!!
