Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing or anything to do with it…but one day I will own the world…once I figure out how to do that! MUHAHAHA--*choke*--HAHA

Warnings: Non-yaoi relationships, major OOC-ness, and plain oddness…why do I keep bothering with this stuff? You already know this…I hope.

When Telemarketers Attack

Or

Mindless Dribble

Act Six

            Duo's snores, Relena's sleep-muttering, Heero's sleep-death threats, and other various things were suddenly drown out by the phone ringing. Duo didn't move. Relena's eyes shot open but she couldn't move as she had only half way gnawed her way free of the duct tape. Quatre spilled cool tea on himself in a frantic movement. Trowa just slowly woke up and started to move for the phone…but he didn't get to it before….

            "Dorothy!" Trowa grumbled at her as she picked up the phone.

            "Hello?" Dorothy said in a sweet tone that could give cavities.

            "Hello ma'am! Would you like to--" the female telemarketer was cut off by Dorothy….

            "Uhhh…ahhh….ooohhhh." she moaned as if she were doing "stuff".

            There was a pause as if the telemarketer blinked. "Um…you sound busy…I'll ca--"

            Dorothy moaned in amazingly real-sounding passion. "Don't stop…don't go…not yet…ahhhh." The others couldn't figure out how she managed to do this with a straight face.

            "Eep!" the telemarketer said then there was a *click*.

            Dorothy broke out in an evil smile and flipped her hair. "That was fun."

            Quatre just stared at her…he couldn't believe that his girlfriend did that. He blinked a few times and went to make some tea.

            Wufei was shoving tissues up his nose to try to stop his nosebleed that had started out of nowhere…he and the others still hadn't figure out just how they got started like that.

            Duo and Hilde were still snoring on the floor where they happened to fall after their make out session.

            Relena's eye was twitching…again. "Dorothy…." She said in a warning tone. "Get me DOWN FROM HERE NOW!!!" she yelled suddenly, making everyone jump slightly…but Duo and Hilde.

            Dorothy blinked a few times. "But Miss Relena…I don't think Heero'd like that very much, look his eye's twitching…yeah…like yours is." She said innocently as she walked away to go sit by Quatre.

            Relena growled and went back to gnawing on the duct tape. Heero walked over to her. "You brought this on yourself…you knew what coffee does to you…but did you pay attention to what you were drinking? No…you just had to drink the coffee."

            "And you just had to tape me to the wall!" Relena yelled back at Heero between gnaws on the tape.

            Heero just regarded her with his I-don't-care-but-really-do-care look on his face…he a complicated guy or what? "Feh…" he muttered and sat down on the empty chair close to the wall that Relena was taped to.

            Soon everyone was in a deep sleep again…except for Relena and Heero….

            "Sixteen tons of greasy, grimy gopher guts, marinated monkey meat, dirty little hamster feet. Sixteen tons of gopher guts…and me without a spoon…bum bum bum! Sixteen tons of greasy, grimy gopher guts, marinated monkey meat, dirty little hamster feet. Sixteen tons of gopher guts…and me without a spoon…bum bum bum! Sixteen tons of greasy, grimy gopher guts, marinated monkey meat, dirty little hamster feet. Sixteen tons of gopher guts…and me without a spoooooon! [1]" Relena sang over and over in a tone that was very off key--sure, she could sing…when she tried.

            Heero pressed his hands over his screaming ears. 'So she's resorted to torture, has she? Well two can play at this game!' he thought as he took in a deep breath…what he was about to do no one would have believed possible unless they saw it themselves. "I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes… I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes… I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes!!!" he billowed out every "note" to be heard over Relena's "singing".

            Relena wasn't going to be one-upped by Heero by this! Oh no…she had something else in mind…."THIS IS THE SONG THAT NEVER ENDS! YES IT GOES ON AND ON MY FRIENDS! SOME PEOPLE STARTED SINGING IT, NOT KNOWING WHAT IT WAS, AND THEY'LL BE SINGING IT FOREVERE JUST BECAUSE… THIS IS THE SONG THAT NEVER ENDS! YES IT GOES ON AND ON MY FRIENDS! SOME PEOPLE STARTED SINGING IT, NOT KNOWING WHAT IT WAS, AND THEY'LL BE SINGING IT FOREVERE JUST BECAUSE!!!" she "sang" as loud as she could.

            Heero's eye twitched…this meant war…."I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES…EVERYBODY'S NERVES…I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES AND THIS IS HOW IT GOES… I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES…EVERYBODY'S NERVES…I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES AND THIS IS HOW IT GOES!!!" he sang/billowed, trying to be louder than Relena.

            By now everyone was awake…yes, even Duo and Hilde. All seven pairs of eyes watched Heero and Relena belt it out. All seven pairs of ears wished that they had cotton balls or something…all of the yelling and "singing" was terrible.

            "THIS IS THE SONG THAT NEVER ENDS! YES IT GOES ON AND ON MY FRIENDS! SOME PEOPLE STARTED SINGING IT, NOT KNOWING WHAT IT WAS, AND THEY'LL BE SINGING IT FOREVERE JUST BECAUSE… THIS IS THE SONG THAT NEVER ENDS! YES IT GOES ON AND ON MY FRIENDS! SOME PEOPLE STARTED SINGING IT, NOT KNOWING WHAT IT WAS, AND THEY'LL BE SINGING IT FOREVERE JUST BECAUSE!!!

            I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES…EVERYBODY'S NERVES…I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES AND THIS IS HOW IT GOES… I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES…EVERYBODY'S NERVES…I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES AND THIS IS HOW IT GOES!!! [2]" They both yelled/sang at the same time and when finished gasping for air.

            The seven spectators clapped, Duo and Hilde cheering and whooping, "That was great!!"

            Heero went stalk still, as if he'd been zapped by something and couldn't move. His face turned and puckered as if he had eaten a whole lemon at once. 'Ooooohhhhh shit.' He thought as he turned around to face his friends…yep…he was never going to live this one down.

            Relena just smiled sweetly at them, hoping to get them to un-tape her from the wall so she could find some more coffee. She muttered a cuss as she realized that they weren't going to let her down from the wall. She pouted.

            Duo walked over to Heero and threw an arm around his shoulders, Heero Death Glared™. "Gee buddy…didn't know you liked to sing so much." He said with his you-won't-hurt-me grin.

            Heero leveled Duo with another Death Glare™ and snorted at him in an annoyed fashion. Duo just grinned widely and went back to Hilde's side…he might look it, but he's not that crazy.

            Seven of the occupants of the house teased Relena and Heero about the "Great Singing War" for a while longer then their sleepiness got the better of them and they all dropped off to sleep for a few hours…until….

            RINGGGGGGG!!!

****

AN: Sorry this took SOOOOO long to get out, I get busy with other things and ran out of energy for this…but look! It's extra long for you guys! I hope to update soon…depending on how many of you are still with me here….*hides from rabid reviewers…sigs her demonic little sister on the ones that attack* ^.^;;;;;

[1]: My dad taught me that song sometime in my childhood…poor guy…really didn't learn his lesson with the other annoying songs he taught me….

[2]: Yes…this really happened to me once…at the ice rink of all places…The Skaters' Parents vs. The Skaters…of course we (The Skaters) won…of course! ^.^v;;;

Replies:

A big HUGE thank you and bag of pocky to those that review this mindless dribble you guys all love so well! Sorry for not replying individually but I am/was having some problems with ff.net and also pooped out from that lovely chapter you just got done reading. *wonders if anyone reads her ANs and Replies…blinks…crickets chirp* Anyway…THANK YOU!!!

Until next time….

Ja`ne!!!

****