BEGIN MONTAGE SEQUENCE – MUSIC: "TCHAIKOVSKY PIANO CONCERTO #1"
Various scenes of a typewriting Glenn Eichler are shown.
Days are passing.

END MONTAGE SEQUENCE

INT. BEDROOM – DAY
Mary Susan stands behind Glenn Eichler who is sitting in a wheelchair.
On a small table in front of them are his laptop and a printer, which is letting out sheets.
A thrilled Mary Susan is staring at the sheets, which contains the last 15 minutes of the Daria TV-Movie.

MARY SUSAN:
Oh, I am so excited! Daria has to decide between Trent and Marty.

GLENN EICHLER:
And you are not mad at me, that Daria suffered blindness after the car-crash?

MARY SUSAN:
Of course not. Because I know that the love of Trent and the friendship of Jane will heal her in the end.

GLENN EICHLER:
Because when they don't. You will break again my legs.

MARY SUSAN:
No… You have outdone yourself this time.

GLENN EICHLER: (sarcastic)
Yes, I even hardly can believe myself, that I have written this.

MARY SUSAN:
Glenn. Admit it: You want Daria to life happily forever.

GLENN EICHLER: (even more sarcastic)
*Sure* after all she has done for me.
(normal tone)
You know what I do after every Daria season?

MARY SUSAN:
Of course, which self-respecting Daria fan wouldn't know? You enjoy a bottle of Dom Periogne and a cigar.

GLENN EICHLER:
Yes Mary, but why is there only 1 glass, not 2.

MARY SUSAN:
I thought you want to enjoy them alone, while I read the last chapter.

GLENN EICHLER: (flattering)
Oh, no. Since the *new* Daria was basically your idea. Without you all this wouldn't be possible.

MARY SUSAN:
Oh, Glenn. I can't believe that you allow such an honour.

GLENN EICHLER: (quite)
Nor than I.
(loud, with an evil smirk)
Yes, go and fetch a second glass.

As soon she is gone.
He takes the paper from the printer and lays it on the floor beneath him.

Then he takes a match, which was meant for the cigar. And holds it over the pile of Daria scripts.
He turns his laptop towards the door and awaits Mary Susan to come back.

Mary Susan enters and is surprised of the whole setting.

MARY SUSAN:
Glenn?

GLENN EICHLER: (presses the delete button in front of her eyes)
Oops, Mary!
I just deleted my entire work, what a shame.

MARY SUSAN: (shocked)
You are joking right?

GLENN EICHLER: (very serious)
No.

MARY SUSAN:
How can you just do that? All that good work... vanished!

GLENN EICHLER: (staring her in the eyes)
I have learnt from the best.

She let the glass fall on the floor. And stares at him in disbelieve.

GLENN EICHLER: (teasing her)
Will Daria regain her eyesight?
Will she choose Trent?
Will she avenge the rape of Quinn?
And will aunty Amy wakes up from her coma to tell Daria who her real parents were?
All this and more…
(dead serious)
You will never know.

He sets fire to the match and let it go. It falls on the Daria-scripts, making a nice cosy indoor fire.

MARY SUSAN:
NO, NO, NO!!!!!

She gets on her knees and tries to put out the flames.
While Mary Susan bow in front of him, Glenn Eichler takes his laptop and smashes it with all his strength on her head.

She gulps and falls on her face.

Glenn Eichler takes out a knife he has hidden before. And awaits her to get up so he could stab her… but she doesn't move.

He looks at the lifeless body lying on the floor. While holding the knife with his right hand, he feels with his left hand Mary Susan's pulse.

She was dead.

He notice how pieces of the laptop's hardware were sticking in Mary Susan's skull.

GLENN EICHLER: (relieved)
Thank God I stick with i-Mac.

FADE IN

CAPTIONS: SOME YEARS OF PHYSIOTHERAPY LATER

FADE OUT

EXT. A CAFÉ – IN A LUXURIOUS MALL OF A LARGE AMERICAN CITY – DAY
People are crowding around.
They are happily window-shopping and not aware of the daily horrors around them.

INT. A CAFÉ – DAY
The former director of the cartoon Daria, Karen Disher, is sitting at a table.
A man, walking with 2 crutches, approaches her.
The man is Glenn Eichler.

KAREN DISHER:
Glenn!

GLENN EICHLER:
Karen!

She stands up and hugs him. Then both sit down at a table.

KAREN DISHER:
So nice to see you. How are you?

GLENN EICHLER:
Wonderful, I just was at the doctors and they said, that in a couple of months I would be able to walk without crutches.

KAREN DISHER:
That is great.

GLENN EICHLER:
And they also gave me my weekly morpheme- injection. So don't hesitate to tell me the worst news of the world.

KAREN DISHER:
Glenn, I see that you have not lost your sense humour.
First I want to congratulate you to your first novel: "In the hands of a Cartoon-Lunatic". I have read it and it is superb! Even though it is a Best Seller.

GLENN EICHLER:
You know what is the greatest thing of being a Best Seller Author?
To sell film rights for millions and millions of dollars.
They want to make a movie with Alec Baldwin as me, and Alicia Silverstone as Mary Susan.
The director is Roland Emmerich and Chris Carter will write the screen adaptation.

KAREN DISHER:
You are surely surfing on the wave of success.
Oh by the way. Some TV-producers have contacted me.

GLENN EICHLER:
And?

KAREN DISHER:
Well they are very keen… well to revive Daria again.

GLENN EICHLER: (sinister)
You mean: A sixth season?

KAREN DISHER:
No, they plan a life action TV series of Daria. And they want you as the chef- creative- consultant.

GLENN EICHLER: (sad)
Look Karen… please, Daria was only a chapter in my life.
You know… there are chapters you like to read over and over, and there are other chapters you don't want to touch again.

KAREN DISHER: (apprehensive)
Oh… I understand.

Rudely a guy with a strong German accent interrupts them.

GUY:
Hi I am Ace!
Excuse me but you must be Glenn Eichler and you must be… Karen Disher.

GLENN EICHLER: (annoyed)
Yes?

ACE:
Well I am a big… no huge Daria Fan. Can I ask for autographs of you both? I mean you are both geniuses.

KAREN DISHER: (honoured)
Okay.

GLENN EICHLER: (bitterly)
If you insist.

Both write their autographs in Ace's book, he brought with.

ACE: (exited)
Boy, I can't wait to tell this to the guys at my Daria newsgroup.

Glenn hands the book back to Ace.

GLENN EICHLER:
Here you are. And do you mind to excuse us please? We are in an important meeting.

ACE: (obedient)
Of course, of course…

Ace retreats, but then he comes back again.

ACE:
Wait! There is something I have to tell you about!
Do you know that I and a lot of other Daria fans didn't liked the whole story arc with Tom.

GLENN EICHLER: (raised voice)
WHAT?!!

ACE:
I mean why does Daria just kiss Tom out of the blue? Daria cannot just cheat her best friend Jane so easily like that. The whole thing really sucks. I mean it is like: it has destroyed the whole spirit of Daria.

As soon Ace has spoken out the last words. Some fuses get blown in Glenn Eichler's head.
He stands up and pulls out a pepper spray from his pocket and applies it ruthlessly on Ace's face.

ACE: (in pain)
Aaahhhhrghhh! Ahhhhh! Ahhhhhhhh!

GLENN EICHLER: (shouting)
EAT IT TILL YOU CHOKE, YOU SICK, TWISTED F**K!

ACE: (in pain)
Ahhhhh! Aaahhhhrghhh! Ahhhhhhhh!

KAREN DISHER: (surprised)
Glenn, what are you doing?

ACE: (in pain)
Ahhhhh! Ahhhhhhhh! Aaahhhhrghhh!

GLENN EICHLER: (cursing)
Daria is a cartoon!
It is only a f**king CARTOON!!!

END
-----



AUTHOR'S APOLOGIES:
Apologies to Glenn Eichler and Karen Disher for "using" them as fanfiction-characters without permission.
Special apologies to Glenn Eichler for having him mutilated in this fanfiction by a fictional Daria fanatic.
This is not a personal attack on the person Glenn Eichler, I mean no offence.
I want to stress out that this is a parody, which show us how disturbed certain Daria-fans can be.
And who ever was lurking around in Daria-newsgroups, will agree to this.

END NOTES:
If you have any comments, than e-mail me under ace_trax@yahoo.de
When you liked my sick sense of humour then visit my website on: www.geocities.com/ace_trax

DISCLAIMER:
I don't own the characters Glenn Eichler and Karen Disher, they are real persons, who own themselves.
The copyright owner of the TV-Series "Daria" is MTV.
The copyright owner of the movie "Misery" is Columbia Pictures.
The copyright owner of the book "Misery" is Steven King
I have no connection with the copyright owners and I don't have the legal rights to use their material. This fanfiction story was done without authorization, permission or approval by their respective copyright owners.

AUTHOR'S COPYRIGHT:
Please note that this fanfiction is a derivative work, so it is protected by copyright law as long as the words and syntax are novel. That means:
Me, as the author of this work do not own the pre-existing copyrighted stuff, but I do own the whole rest. Those are all the novel words and syntax, which make the story.
This story is not for profit, it is a work of pure fandom, without any financial interests.
Any financial or other uses of this document without the specific permission of the authors (me and the other copyright owners) are forbidden.
Text Copyright © 2003, Ace Trax. All rights reserved.

THANKS AND ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS:
Thanks to the director Rob Reiner and the actors James Caan and Kathy Bates for one of the best Steven King screen-adaptation of all time.
And thanks to the creative minds of MTV, who gave the world the best TV-series of all time: "The Osbournes".